I tell him, Real
by jacefourpeeta
Summary: Katniss has always been in love with Peeta and faces her worst nightmare when he is picked to join her in the Hunger Games. Could their love create a bigger spark? Will things work out between them? Will she sacrifice everything for him? Retelling of the Hunger Games, Catching Fire and Mockingjay.
1. Reaping

**(a/n): This will be a retelling from if Katniss had always loved Peeta and their love was never forced or an act for the cameras.  
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**For the whole story: All credit goes to Suzanne Collins. **

**Chapter 1: Reaping.**

My mother has left out one of her lovely blue dresses for me to wear. Matching shoes as well.

"Are you sure?" I ask, I know her clothes and belongings from the past are important to her. I'm also trying to get past my anger, by letting her help me I won't be rejecting her.

"Of course. Let's put your hair up too," She says and then I let her towel dry my hair and braid it up onto my head. The girl in the mirror doesn't look like me, her hair up in a bun instead of down in the braid. And I'm wearing a dress when usually I'm in my fathers jacket when I'm hunting.

"You look beautiful," Says Prim in a quiet voice.

"And nothing like myself," I tell her and hug her as I know how hard the first reaping is, especially for Prim. She's worried about me as we both know the chances of her name being pulled out are slim.

The Reaping is the only thing that I can't protect Prim from. I notice that her blouse is poking out the top of her skirt, a sign that she is still too young, we're all too young. "Tuck your tail in, little duck," I say, tucking it in myself.

Prim giggles, giving me a small, "Quack."

"Quack yourself," I laugh. "Come on, let's eat." I kiss the top of her head.

We decide to leave the fish, greens, strawberry's and bakery bread that Gale and I collected this morning for this evening, in celebration. The bread has my attention before I look away, I need to focus on the Reaping and Prim instead of my feelings for the bakers son. But I'm worried about him, he may not have as many entries as Gale and I, but he still has more than Prim. Instead we eat the rough bread and milk from Prim's goat, Lady, although no one has much of an appetite.

At one o'clock we head to the square, already District 12 has turned to silence, families hoping their child won't be picked. Attendance is mandatory unless you're on deaths door. Peacekeepers will go round checking in the evening, and if you're not dying then you'll be imprisoned.

The square is one of the nicest places in District 12, surrounded by shops and usually markets depending on the weather. However, today bright banners are up but the air is thick with grimness. Camera crews are perched on rooftops, reminding us why we're all here.

We all file in silently, looking at each other, wondering who it's going to be this year. The reaping is a good opportunity for the Capitol to keep on tabs with the population when everyone signs in. Then 12 – 18 year olds are herded behind roped areas marked in age order, oldest at the front and youngest at the back. Just like 12 – 18 year olds are herded into an arena to kill each other until only one is standing.

Family line up around the perimeter, grasping each other in hope that their child isn't sentenced to death. Others in the crowd, the ones that don't care, take bets on what unfortunate soul it is this time.

I'm standing with a group of sixteens, all huddled together as the space gets more cramped as more people file in. Tense nods are exchanged and then everyone focuses on the temporary stage up by the Justice Building. It holds three chairs, a podium and two glass balls, one for the boys and one for the girls. Twenty of them have my name, Katniss Everdeen, and only one has Prim.

The Mayor sits in one of the chairs along with District 12's escort, Effie Trinket, with her pinkish hair and spring green suit, not forgetting the scary white grin on her face. They murmur to each other, looking at the empty seat next to them.

The clock strikes two and the Mayor stands up to read the speech he reads every year, telling the history of Panem, the country that rose up from the ashes of a place that was once called North America. Disasters, droughts, storms, fires, encroaching seas that swallowed up so much land, the brutal war, all resulted in Panem, with a shining new Capitol followed by Thirteen Districts. Then came the Dark Days, the uprisings of the Districts against the Capitol, Twelve were defeated and the Thirteenth was destroyed. The Treaty of Treason was then created, giving us new laws to create peace and as reminder that the Dark Days must not be repeated, the Hunger Games.

"It is both a time for repentance and a time for thanks," concludes the Mayor and he finishes by reading the list of past District 12 winners. In seventy-four years, District 12 has only had exactly two winners. Only one is still alive, Haymitch Abernathy, a middle-aged man, who appears to be staggering on stage and into the third chair – drunk, as always. The audience applauds and a confused Haymitch gives Effie a hug, which she barely manages to fend off.

Since this is all being filmed, District 12 is the laughing stock (as always) of Panem and the Mayor looks distressed because of it. He calls the attention back by introducing Effie and the tensions grows stronger around me. Some have even started to cry. Two people are about to be chosen to die.

Bright and bubbly as ever, Effie trots to the podium and gives her signature, "Happy Hunger Games! And may the odds be _ever_ in your favour!" Her pink hair – that has to be a wig – has shifted slightly off-center since her encounter with Haymitch. She goes on about how an honor it is, but we all know how she's aching to get promoted to a better district where they have proper victors, that actually have a chance at winning and are not drunk.

I spot my best friend, Gale, and he is looking back at me with a ghost of a smile. I am thinking of the forty-two names in that glass ball and how the odds are not in his favour. He's thinking the same thing, as his face darkens and he looks away. There's still thousands, but he still has forty-two. Then I am searching for him through the sixteen year old boys, just seeing the back of his blonde head. Seeing him lessens the tension inside me a bit, but not enough to make me completely relaxed.

"Ladies first!" Effie cheers and crosses to the glass ball with the girls' names. She reaches in, digs her hand deep into the ball and pulls out a slip of paper. Everyone around me holds their breath, followed by complete silence. My thoughts chant the others around me, it's not me, it's not me, it's not me.

It isn't me. It's Primrose Everdeen.

The air escapes my lungs, I struggle to remember how to breathe, my mind is stunned by the name and it feels like a nightmare. No, this is not true. I'll wake up any minute and this will all be just a nightmare. Only it isn't a nightmare: Prim has been picked. Someone is gripping my arm and I think I had started to fall and they caught me. My legs have gone numb.

I want to laugh, surely there must have been a mistake. This can't be happening. One slip out of possibly thousands! I didn't think she would have a chance, I hadn't even worried about her and now she is going to her death. _Her death._

The crowd murmur unhappily, like they always do when a twelve-year-old is chosen, because no one thinks it's fair and it isn't. And then I see her, blood drained from her face and her blouse has become untucked again. A gasp escapes me.

"Prim!" A cry comes out of my throat and my muscles begin to move again. "Prim!" I don't shove, other kids make way for me, allowing me to get a clear pathway to the stage. I reach her just as she's about to climb the steps. I push her behind me, blocking her from there view. They can't have her.

"I volunteer!" I gasp. "I volunteer as tribute!"

There's confusion on stage since no one has volunteered in decades, the protocol has become rusty. In other Districts some would volunteer to risk their lives for the honor, but I'm doing it to save my sister. I'm doing it so she can live and I will die in her place.

"Lovely!" say Effie. "But I believe there's a small matter of introducing the reaping winner and then asking for volunteers, and if one does come forth then we, um…" She trails of, unsure herself.

"What does it matter?" Says the Mayor. He's looking me with a pained emotion and I think about all the strawberries I sold to him and his daughter, Madge. "What does it matter?" he repeats again. "Let her come forward."

"Prim, let go," I say harshly, because this is upsetting me and I can't afford to cry – I can't look weak when this is going to be shown again across the country. "Let go!"

I can feel someone pulling her from my back. I turn to see Gale has picked her up and she's thrashing in his arms, crying and shouting. "Up you go, Catnip." He says in a voice that he's trying to keep steady. He carries Prim to my mother and then I climb the steps. I have to dig my nails into my fists to stop myself from crying.

"Well, bravo!" gushes Effie, clearly pleased with the change of events. "That's the spirit of the games! What's your name?"

I swallow hard. "Katniss Everdeen."

"I bet my buttons that was your sister. Don't want her to steal all the glory, do we? Come on, everybody! Let's give a big round of applause to our newest tribute!" Trills Effie.

No one claps. Not even the ones in the back, holding the betting slips, the ones who usually don't care. Possibly because they're all from the Hob and have seen me around, or because they knew my father, or have encountered Prim, whom no one can help loving. So instead of acknowledging applause, I stand there unmoving while they take part in the boldest form of dissent they can manage. Silence. Which shows how much we don't agree and how wrong the games is.

Then something unexpected happens. Slowly, one and then another, followed by the rest, touches the three middle fingers of their left hand to their lips and holds it out to me. It is an old and rarely used gesture of our district, occasional seen at funerals. It means thanks, it means admiration, it means goodbye to someone you love. I'm so shocked my mouth opens in a gasp, I didn't think anyone cared about me.

Now I am close to crying, but fortunately Haymitch decides this time to come staggering across the stage to congratulate me. "Look at her. Look at his one!" He hollers, throwing an arm around my shoulder and the smell of alcohol is strong. "I like her!" His breath makes my stomach twist. "Lots of…" He can't think of anything for a while. "Spunk!" he says. "More than you!" He releases me and heads for the front of the stage. "More than you!" He shouts at the camera.

I'll never know if he was actually drunk or taunting the Capitol because he falls of the stage, knocking himself unconscious. I can't believe he's my mentor, but right now I'm grateful for the time he has given for me to compose myself. My throat lets out a noise, clearing away the tears and bile that threaten to come up. And then I turn emotionless, I don't want the audience or my fellow tributes to see my fear.

"What an exciting day!" Effie cheers, trying to get the attention back to the Reaping again. She attempts to straighten her wig, which has been pushed further to the right. "More excitement to come! It's time for our boy tribute!" She plants one hand on her head, while she crosses to the ball with the boys names in and grabs the first slip. She zips back to the podium where she reads the name out loud for everyone. "Peeta Mellark!"

No. Not him. Out of all those slips - those thousands of slips - she had to pick the two that I love the most, the two that mean more to me than my own life. This can't be happening.

I follow the crowd's eyes to where Peeta stands his beautiful face is shocked, those blue eyes full with sadness. His eyes meet mine for a second and I look away. Then he makes his way to the stage. I search the remaining boys in desperation. Someone – anyone – has to volunteer for him. Where are his brothers? I know one enough is out there, but of course he won't volunteer.

Effie asks for volunteers but no one steps forwards. I want to beg them, to throw someone else in his place instead of him. Anyone but him. But no, I'm stuck with Peeta. I'm going into the games expecting to kill the boy I'm in love with – have been in love with for years.

The Mayor begins to read the long, dull Treaty of Treason as he does every year – it's required – but I'm not listening to a word. Peeta and I are going to the games, only one of us can come out or none of us. A bigger knot had started to twist in my stomach over the idea of losing him – I can't let him die.

_Why him? _Out of everyone, why did it have to be him? Out of all those thousands of slips, it had to be the guy I'm in love with.

I have never spoken to Peeta, only observed him from the outside but the moment that made me love him was during a very dark time when my father had just died and my family was starving. The district had giving us some money for compensation but it was only enough for a month of grieving, after which my mother was expected to get a job, only she didn't. She didn't do anything but sit in a chair or huddle under a blanket, staring into the distance. Once in a while she would stir and get up as if moved by some urgent purpose, only to collapse back into stillness. No amount of pleading from me or Prim seemed to affect her.

I was terrified. At the time all I knew was that I had lost not only my father, but a mother as well. At eleven years old, with Prim just seven, I took over as head of the family. There was no choice. I brought the food at the market and cooked it as best as I could and tried to keep Prim and myself presentable. Because if it had come known that my mother could no longer care for us, the district would have taken us away from her and placed us in a community home. The sadness, angry hand prints on their faces and hopelessness deflated the children from the home. I couldn't let that happen to Prim, she wouldn't have survived there. The community home would crush her like a bug. So I kept our predicament a secret.

The money soon ran out and we were slowly starving to death. I kept telling myself that I could hold out to May and then when I was twelve I could sign up for tesserae and get grain and oil to feed us. Only several weeks, but we wouldn't have survived till then.

Starvation happens all the time in District 12. Victims are seen all the time, with families with too many to feed or older people who can't work, those injured in the mines, straggling through the streets. And one day the straggling stops, they become motionless on the streets or lying in the meadow. Wails from a house, declaring another victim.

On the afternoon with my first and only encounter with Peeta Mellark, the rain was falling, icy cold. I had gone round town, trying to trade some threadbare old baby clothes of Prim's in the public market, but no one wanted them. I had been to the hob with my father on several occasions but I was too frightened to venture into the rough, gritty place alone. My father's hunting jacket had soaked through, sticking to my hollow frame and I dropped the clothes in a muddy puddle. I didn't pick it up, afraid that I would fall over and be unable to get up again. No one wanted those clothes, no money or food to take home.

I couldn't face going home with my mother's dead eyes and Prim's hollow cheeks and cracked lips. I found myself stumbling down a muddy lane, my body to weak from the rain and hunger, but I went behind the shops that serve the wealthiest townspeople. The merchants live above their businesses, so I was technically in their back gardens. I remember the garden beds not yet planted for the spring, a goat or two in a pen and a dog tied to a post, hunched over defeated like I was.

Stealing is forbidden in District 12, punishable by death. It crossed my mind that there might be something in the rubbish bins, and those were fair game – anything was fair game. I was desperate for anything, but unfortunately, the bins had just been emptied.

I passed the baker's, the smell of bread made me dizzy and my stomach echoed a plea. The ovens golden glow spilled out the open kitchen door. I took a deep breath, taking in the wonderful smell for a second and then I turned to their bin. It was spotless, not a single crumb left behind.

A voice started screaming at me and I looked up to see the baker's wife, telling me to go or she'll call the peacekeepers and shouting about us brats from the Seam looking through her rubbish, she's never starved like anyone from the Seam before. I carefully placed the lid back down and backed away, then I noticed him, a boy with blonde hair peering out behind his mother's back. He was in my year, so I had seen him around school, but I didn't know his name. Why would I know? He hangs around with all the townspeople. His mother went back in, grumbling, but he must have been watching me as I made my way behind the pen that held their pig and leaned back against the old apple tree, too cowardly to go home.

My knees buckled with the realisation that I had nothing to take home, nothing to feed my family. I was too sick and weak and tired, I hoped they called the peacekeepers or the community home or just to leave me to die under the apple tree in the icy rain. There was a clatter in the baker, followed by the screaming mother and then a blow. I wondered what was going on. Feet sloshed in the mud and I winced, thinking she was coming back. But it wasn't her, it was the boy. In his arms, he carried two large loaves of bread that had to have fallen in the fire as the crusts were black.

His mother was yelling in the background, "Feed it to the pig, you stupid creature! Why not? No one decent will buy burned bread!"

He began to tear off chunks from the burned parts and toss them into the pen, my stomach rumbling with every throw. The front bell rang, the mother disappearing to help a customer.

He never even glanced my way, but I was watching him. Because of the bread, because of the red welt that had stood out on his cheekbone. What had she hit him with? My parents never hit us, I couldn't even imagine it. I watched as he took one look back at the bakery, checking if the coast was clear, and then his attention back on the pig as he throw the loaf of bread in my direction. He sloshed back to the bakery, closing the kitchen door behind him.

I stared at the loaves in shock and disbelief. They were perfect, forgetting the burnt areas, and I greedily snatched them up, wrapping them protectively in my hunting jacket and then hurrying home in delight. Did he mean for me to have them? He must have since he didn't throw them into the pen. They landed at my feet. The heat of the bread burned my skin and I clutched them tighter, thanking the boy silently.

When I reached home, the loaves had cooled but inside was still warm. When I pulled them out, Prim's face lit up and went to tear a chunk but I made her sit, forced our mother to join us as well and poured warm tea for us. I scarped of the black stuff and we ate the loaf, slice by slice, our stomachs finally at ease.

I put my clothes near the fire and climbed into bed and into a dreamless sleep. It occurred to me the next morning that the boy might have burned the bed on purpose and I wondered why. Knowing that helping me would result in him being punished. His enormous kindness touched me, he saved me and my family from starvation. I would for ever be thankful to him, but I couldn't explain his kindness.

We ate slices of bread and then went to school. It was as if spring had come over night with warm air and clouds dotted around the blue sky. At school, I passed the boy with his face now swollen and his blackened eye. I was going to say thank you but he didn't acknowledge me in any way, he was with his friends from town. As I collected Prim and started home from school, I found him staring at me from across the school yard. Our eyes met for a second, a part of me hoped he would talk to me, allow me to say thank you, but he turned away. I dropped my gaze, embarrassed, knowing exactly what he had seen: a desperate starving girl from the Seam. But as I looked down, that's when I saw it, the first dandelion of the year. A bell had started to ring in my head and I thought of the hours I spent in the woods with my father. I knew how we were going to survive.

To this day, I am thankful to Peeta, for his bread that gave me hope and the dandelion that I wasn't doomed. More than once, I have turned to catch his eye in the hallway, only to quickly flit away. Maybe if I thanked him or spoke to him I would feel less conflicted, but ever since the bread I have never been able to forget him. I would watch him when he wasn't looking, look through the bakery window to see him working with his family and see him around the square with his friends. I had grown to like him from a distance, even to love him from the side-lines. A part of me had hoped that maybe we could grow close as we grow up, but I was from the Seam and he was from the town, two different worlds in District 12. Now, were both sentenced to kill each other in an arena with twenty-two other tributes. If I was going to survive – try to survive – then I would have to forget about him, but I can't, he saved my life and now I will save his. That is a promise I will make to him.

The Mayor finishes the Treaty of Treason and motions for me and Peeta to shake hands. His are as solid and warm as those loaves of bread, he looks me right in the eye as I do everything I can to keep my face emotionless. He squeezes my hand as if to reassure me but maybe it's just a nervous spasm.

We turn back to the crowd as the anthem begins to play.

** (a/n): That's the first chapter, I hope you liked it and please do tell me what you think.**


	2. Goodbyes

**(a/n): Since the first chapter had such a positive start, I thought I would give you the second chapter as a thank you. This will be Catching Fire and Mockingjay now, so this story will be quite long. Please tell me what you think. **

**Chapter 2: Goodbyes.**

We're taken into custody to say our goodbyes before we're taken to the Capitol. In a few weeks I could be shipped back in a wooden coffin – maybe even earlier than that. I think tributes have tried to escape in the past, as peacekeepers march us into the justice building, where we now wait in separate rooms for our family and friends.

It's the richest place I've ever been in with thick deep carpets and velvet curtains. I know velvet as my mother has a dress with a collar of the stuff. I sit on the couch and I can't help but run my hand over the fabric. It helps calm me down as I prepare for the next hours, saying goodbye is going to be the hardest thing. I can't afford to get upset, if I leave the room with red puffy eyes and then I'm weak, I'm an easy target to the other tributes. Cameras will be everywhere I go now.

My sister and my mother come first. I reach out for Prim and she climbs onto my lap, her arms around my neck and her head on my shoulder just like she did when she was a toddler. My mother sits beside me and wraps her arms around us. For a few minutes, we're silent. Then I start telling them all the things they need to do and remember, now that I won't be there to do them.

Prim is not to take any tesserae. If they're careful on selling Prim's goat milk and cheese, as well as the small business my mother now runs for the people in the Seam, they can get by. Gale will bring them herbs, but Prim needs to describe them carefully to him so he doesn't get the wrong ones. He'll also bring them game – we made a pact a year ago – and he probably won't ask for compensation but they should thank him with some kind of trade.

I had tried to teach Prim a couple of times to hunt, but it ended up disastrous, so I don't bother mentioning it. Even with animals dying, she's no good, she'll cry and want to save them, even when they're long gone. But she does well with her goat, so I concentrate on that.

When I am done with my instructions to Prim, I turn to my mother and grip her arm, hard. "Listen to me. Are you listening to me?" She nods her head, alarmed. She knows what's coming. "You can't leave again." I say.

My mother's eyes find the floor. "I know. I won't. I couldn't help what –"

"Well, you have to help it this time. You can't clock out and leave Prim on her own. There's no me now to keep you both alive. It doesn't matter what happens. Whatever you see on the screen. You'll have to promise me you'll fight through it!" My voice has risen to a shout, anger and all the fear from when she abandoned us.

She pulls her arm away from my grasp, angry herself now. "I was ill. I could have treated myself if I had the medicine I have now."

It might be true that she was ill. I've seen her bring people back from suffering immobilizing sadness since, it's an illness we can't afford.

"Then take it. And take care of her!" I say.

"I'll be alright, Katniss." Says Prim, clasping my face in her hands. I can't look in her eyes. "But you have to take care, too. You're so fast and brave. Maybe you can win."

I can't win and Prim knows that, but she still hopes just like everyone else does. The competition will be far beyond my abilities, some tributes have trained their whole lives to be a part of the games, where it's a huge honour. Boys who're two or three sizes bigger than me and girls who know how to kill me in twelve different ways with a knife. While they have skills in killing, a few others and I will know how to survive, to hunt, to find food. Peeta won't, he's a town's boy and how can I let him die?

"Maybe," I say, because I can't tell them how I've given up when they still have hope. Besides, I won't go down without a fight, it's not in my nature. "Then we'd be as rich as Haymitch."

"I don't care if we're rich. I just want you to come home. You will try, won't you? Really, really try?" Prim asks and I can't meet her eyes again. How can I promise to try to come home when Peeta is with me? How can I survive and protect him. He saved my life and now I will save his.

"Really, really try. I swear it," I say and I know, because of Prim, I'll have to but because of Peeta, I'll have to try and save him first. Only one of us can go home.

And then Peacekeepers are at the door, signalling our time is over and we're all hugging each other so hard that I struggled to breathe. "I love you. I love you both." And they're saying it back and then they're gone. Just like that: gone. I bury my head in the pillow, wanting to block everything away.

Someone else enters the room, when I look up, I'm surprised to see the baker, Peeta's father. Why would he come to see me when soon I'll be killing his son? But we do know each other and he knows Prim, from when she sells her goat's cheese. We always use to trade with him when his witch of a wife wasn't around as he was a lot nicer. I'm certain he would never have hit his son for burning the bread, but why has he come to see me?

He sits awkwardly on the edge of the seat. He's a broad-shouldered man with burn scars from the bakery. He must have said goodbye to his son.

He pulls out a white package from his jacket and hands them to me, cookies. A luxury I can never afford but I can picture all the biscuits, cookies and cakes decorated by Peeta.

"Thank you," I say. The baker isn't usually a talkative man and today he has no words at all. "I had some of your bread this morning, my friend Gale traded a squirrel for it." He nods. "Not your best trade." I tell him and he shrugs as if it couldn't possibly matter.

I can't think of anything else to say so we sit in silence until the Peacekeepers come, announcing our time is up. He coughs, "I'll keep an eye on the little one. Make sure she's eating."

A pressure is realised at his words. People deal with me but they're fond of Prim, maybe enough fondness to keep her alive.

Madge, my next unexpected guest, enters, walking straight to me with an urgency in her tone that surprises me, "They let you wear one thing from your District in the arena. One thing to remind you of home. Will you wear this?" She holds out a gold circular pin that I knew was on her dress earlier as Gale and I sold her strawberries before the Reaping. I hadn't paid much attention then, but now I see it's a small bird in flight.

"Your pin?" I say. Wearing a token from my District was the last thing on my mind right now.

"Here, I'll put it on your dress, all right?" She doesn't wait for an answer and fixes the golden pin onto my dress. I'm getting all kinds of presents today. "Promise your wear it in the arena, Katniss?" She asks. "Promise?"

"Yes." A promise I can keep. Madge gives me a kiss on the cheek and then she is gone, leaving me to think that Madge was a friend after all.

Finally, Gale has arrived and I know there is nothing romantic about us, but when he opens his arms I don't hesitate to go in them. This is the first time I've felt his heart beating under me, could smell his wooden and smoke scent so strong and the warmness of his closeness. I know how I feel about him – he's my best friend, like a brother.

"Listen," He says, "Save yourself." I know he's telling me not to bother saving Peeta, not to even protect him. I know Gale has always known, but he's never hinted or talked about it out loud before. It's always been a secret that he's kept. "Promise me." He adds and I look away. How can I promise Prim and Gale? It's bad enough promising Prim. I would try to save Peeta first and if I fail and he dies, how can I survive and live with that if I survive instead?

"Gale…" I say. He knows there's no use in promising when there's twenty-three other tributes to be killed.

"No. You can do this." He says, "Getting your hands on a knife will be easy, but you got to get your hands on a bow. That's your best chance."

"They don't always have bows." I say, thinking of the year when there was only horrible spiked maces.

"Then make one, a weak bow is better than no bow."

"I don't even know if they'll be wood," I say. In another year, that I hated, they shoved everyone into an arena with just boulders, sand and scruffy bushes. Many tributes were bitten by venomous snakes or were dehydrated.

"There's almost always some wood," Gale says, "Since that year most of them died from the cold. Not much entertainment in that." It's true, since that year we watched the tributes all freeze to death, huddled together. It was bloodless and was a boring year for the Capitol, so since then there has always been wood to make fires.

"Yes, there's usually some," I say.

"Katniss, it's just hunting. You're the best hunter I know," Says Gale.

"It's not just hunting. They're armed. They think," I say.

"So do you. And you've had more practice. Real practice," he says and I think of Peeta with no skills in killing or hunting, he will be completely hopeless if he isn't a fast learner. "You know how to kill."

"Not people," I say.

"How different can it be, really?" Says Gale. I can forget they're people, it's not different at all and that is awful.

The Peacekeepers come back too soon and Gales asks for more time, but they're taking him away. "Don't let them starve!" I cry out, clinging to his hand.

"I won't! You know I won't! Just save yourself, Katniss! And, remember I –" he says and they yank us apart, slamming the door and I will never know what Gale's last words to me would be. Never to know what he wanted me to remember.

It's a short ride from the Justice Building to the train station. I've never been in a car before, rarely even a wagon. We only travel by foot in the Seam.

Cameras are everywhere. Reporters all cramming to get close to us and I have to completely wipe my face from emotions. I can't cry. I won't cry. I catch a glimpse of myself on the screen and I look almost bored.

Peeta has been crying and isn't trying to cover it up with his red puffy eyes. I wonder if this is his strategy in the games, to appear weak, like Johanna Mason from District 7 did one year, and then when he gets to the games he'll come out fighting, walking away alive. I hope that's it, but I highly doubt it. I watch him carefully for a moment, maybe he could have a chance, with being the baker's son. All those years of eating and hauling flour making him strong and broad-shouldered.

We have to stand, ignoring as the cameras take in our images, before the train doors open. Then we're allowed inside and the doors thankfully close behind us. The train starts to move at once.

Of course, I've never been on a train before since it is forbidden to travel between Districts' unless its business with the Capitol, but the speed takes my breath away. It's one of the 250 miles per hour train that the Capitol has. Our journey to the Capitol could only take a day.

The tribute train is even fancier than the room in the Justice Building. We are given our own chambers that have a bedroom, a dressing area and a private bathroom with hot and cold running water. If we want hot water at home, then we have to boil it.

Draws are filled with fine clothes, more clothes then I have ever owned in my life and Effie tells me to do anything I want, wear anything I want, as long as I'm ready for supper in an hour. I peel of my mother's blue dress and take a hot shower. I've never had a shower before, let alone a hot shower. I dress in a dark green shirt and trousers.

At the last minute, I remember Madge's golden pin and I take a good look at it. It's a small golden bird attached to the ring around it by the tip of its wings. It's a Mockingjay. During the Rebellion the Capitol bred a series of genetically altered animals as weapons. The common word used for them is _mutattions, _or _mutts _for short. One was a special bird called the Jabberjay that had the ability to memorize and repeat a whole human conversation. They were homing birds, exclusively male, that were realised into regions where the Capitol's enemies were known to be hiding. After the birds had gathered words, they were sent back to be recorded. It took people a while to realize what was going on in the Districts, to know that their conversations were being transmitted. Then, the rebels fed the Capitol a load of lies, so they shut down the centers and the birds were abandoned for the wild.

Only they didn't die of, instead the Jabberjays mated with female Mockingbirds, creating a whole new species that could replicate both bird whistles and human melodies. My father was practically fond of Mockingjays. When we went hunting, he would sing a complicated song for them, and after a polite pause, they would always sing it back. When my father sang, though, all birds would fall silent and listen. There's something comforting about this little bird on the pin, it's like having a piece of my father, protecting me. I fasten the pin to my shirt.

Effie comes to collect me for supper. I follow her through the narrow corridors, a little nervous about eating with them, but mainly because Peeta and I have never spoken before. A table is the room with dishes that are highly breakable. Peeta is sat waiting for us, the chair next to him empty.

"Where's Haymitch?" Effie asks.

"Last time I saw him, he said he was going to take a nap," Says Peeta and I try not to look at him as I sit down. If we're going to the arena to die, then I can't let my emotions show.

"Well, it's been an exhausting day," says Effie and I think she's relieved that Haymitch hasn't made an appearance, who can blame her?

The supper comes in courses. So much food I have never seen on one table before. Thick carrot soup, green salad, lamb chops and mashed potato, cheese and fruit, a chocolate cake. Effie keeps reminding us to save space as there is more to come, but I'm stuffing myself with everything. I've never had food like this, so much and so tasteful, it's the only good thing that's happened today. The best thing I can do now and up to the games is put on a few pounds.

"At least you two have decent manners," Says Effie, as we're finishing the main course, "The pair last year ate everything with their hands like savages. It completely upset my digestion."

The pair last year were two kids from the Seam, who have never had enough, not even for one day of their lives. When they have food, I highly doubted manners were the first thing on their minds. Peeta's a baker's son. Prim and I had been taught manners, so yes, I can handle a knife and fork but if this had been me years ago I would have completely forgot about them. But I hate Effie's comment so much that I eat the rest of the meal with my fingers. Finishing my meal by wiping my hands on the tablecloth, causing her lips to purse together tightly.

I can see Peeta's looking a little green and, like him, I am struggling to keep the food down. Neither of our stomachs are used to this kind of luxurious food, but if I can hold down Greasy Sae's contraction of mice meat, pig entrails and tree bark, then I can hold down this.

We go through to another compartment where we watch the recap of the Reapings across Panem, allowing us to see our competition for the first time. They try to stagger them through the day, so anyone can watch them live, but only the people in the Capitol can do that, since none of them have to attend Reapings themselves.

One by one, names are called, volunteers stepping forward and I examine every face I see. A tall monstrous boy who steps forward to volunteer for District 2. A foxfaced girl with sleek red hair from District five and a boy with a crippled foot from District 10. A haunting twelve-year-old girl from District 11 with dark brown skin and wide eyes, other than that, she's exactly like Prim. When she's asked for any volunteers, there is nothing but the wind, no one willing to take her place.

Last of all: District 12. Me shoving Prim out of the way as I volunteer to take her place, you can hear the desperation in my voice and then I walk up onto the stage. The commentators are not sure what to say about the silent applause. Haymitch comes on cue, falling of the stage and the commentators groan comically. Peeta comes in, quietly, we shake hands and then the anthem begins.

Effie is annoyed with the state of her wig. "Your mentor has a lot to learn about presentation. A lot about televised behavior."

Peeta unexpectedly laughs, I've only heard him laugh a few times before. "He was drunk," says Peeta, "He's drunk every year."

"Every day." I add. I can't help but smirk a little at Effie, making it sound like Haymitch just has rough manners that could be corrected with a few tips.

"Yes," hisses Effie, "How odd you two find it amusing. You know your mentor is your lifeline to the world in these games. The one who advises you, lines up your sponsors, and dictates the presentation of any gifts. Haymitch can well be the difference between your life and death!"

Haymitch staggers into the compartment. "I miss supper?" His voice is slurred and then he vomits on the expensive floor, falling into the mess.

"So laugh away!" Says Effie and then hops over Haymitch and the mess in her tiny pointy heels, leaving the compartment.

**(a/n): I hoped you enjoyed the chapter, please tell me what you think. The next one will defiantly be going up on Saturday:) **


	3. Mentor

** (a/n): I apologize that this has been written very similar to the book at the moment but not much happens that changes the story and I have been trying to work my story in with Suzanne's. Around here is where my story starts to come in more, so I hope you enjoy it:)**

**Of course, all credit goes to Suzanne Collins.**

**Chapter 3: Mentor.**

We watch as Haymitch tries to get up, slipping around in his own vomit. The smell reeks and I can feel my dinner threatening to come up. This is all we have to keep us alive in the arena. Some unspoken agreement is shared between Peeta and I, as we both help Haymitch up.

"I tripped?" Haymitch asks. "Smells bad." He wipes his hand over his face, covering it in vomit. I look away, closing my eyes in disgust for a second.

"Let's get you back to your room," says Peeta, "clean you up a bit."

We half lead and half carry Haymitch back to his room, hauling him into the bathtub. This was not how I planned on spending my first time with Peeta, in fact I never planned on having any time with him. Haymitch hardly notices the shower as it's turned on.

"It's OK," Peeta says to me, the first directed words to me. I don't look at him. "I'll take it from here."

Judging by Haymitch's state, he will not very likely remember this tomorrow so I don't think Peeta is doing this to give a good impression. I can't help but feel grateful, again, since I don't exactly want to strip Haymitch down and clean him. I will for ever be owing Peeta, for ever in his debt.

"Alright," I say, "I can send one of the Capitol people to help you." There all around wanting to help us, cook for us and clean for us. Waiting for our commands.

"No I don't want them." Peeta says.

I nod, understanding and head to my own room. I can't stand looking at the Capitol people dotted around the train, waiting on us. And I know Peeta is doing this out of kindness, like the bread, because that's him. His kindness is one of things I love about him most and I knew I should have always stayed away from him, but I couldn't. I shouldn't have ever let myself fall for the baker's son as much as I have.

The train has stopped at a platform to refuel and I sit in my room staring at the cookies Peeta's father gave me. Did Peeta make his father give them to me or did his father generally give them to me out of kindness? I break a bit of the cookie of, eating the crumbly goodness and wonder whether it was Peeta or his father or maybe one of the brothers that baked them. Perhaps a final batch of cookies made together as a family. I feel sick at the thought and chuck the rest of the cookies out of the window. This wasn't the last batch of cookies that Peeta made with his family, he will go home and make plenty more.

The cookies then make me think about the dandelion, how I plucked it carefully and hurried home. It had given me hope and after school I had taken Prim to the meadows, where we had picked as many dandelions as we could to fill our bucket. That night we had dandelion salad and the rest of the bakery bread.

_"What else?" Prim asked me, "What other food can we find?" _

_"All kinds of things," I promised her, "I just have to remember them." _

My mother had a book she had brought from her apothecary shop, full with different drawings of plants with their names and everything we need to know about them, it was all mainly plants for healing. But my father had added parts for eating and Prim and I had spent the rest of that night looking through it.

The next day, without Prim, I finally worked up the courage to go under the fence, the first time alone since my father had died. I received the small bow and arrows he made for me from a hollow tree and I perched in a tree, not even 20 meters from the fence, waiting for game to come. After several hours, I had managed to kill a rabbit, my first kill alone without my father. That was the first meat we had in months.

Each day I went back into the woods, adventuring a little further and discovering new things every day. Plants were the trickiest, I had to keep double checking to make sure they were edible. And if there was any sign of danger then I would flee back to the fence or eventually start climbing up trees so the wild dogs couldn't get me.

On the eighth of May, I went to the Justice Building and signed up for tesserae, pulling home my first batch of grain and oil in Prim's old wagon. I picked up the same every month, while still hunting and gathering, of course. I began to trade at the Hob and around the town square as well. The butcher brought my rabbits and the baker would buy my squirrels, only when his wife wasn't around. Sometimes Peeta was inside the bakery and I would get a quick glimpse of him baking bread or decorating the cakes before the trade was done. The head Peacekeeper loved wild turkey and the Mayor loved strawberries.

In the summer, plants had started to grow around me, offering all different types of food. I knelt down in the water, digging through the soggy mud and pulled up the roots. Katniss, the plant my father named me after, he used to say, "As long as you can find yourself, you'll never starve." I spent hours, pulling all the roots out allowing us to have a feast on fish and Katniss, making us full for the first time.

Our mother had slowly returned to us, cooking and cleaning and preserving some of the food I brought home for winter. People traded with us and paid for her medical remedies. One day, I even heard her sing.

Prim was thrilled to have her back, but I kept waiting, waiting until she left us. I had never fully trusted her again. Prim had forgiven her but I had taken a step back, blocking my mother from my life as much as I could. Now I was going to die without having set that right, I had yelled at her, but I had also told her that I loved her.

I stare out of the window, lights glowing in the distance and I wondered what my family are doing now. Did they eat the fish stew and strawberries with the shutters down? Or did it go untouched? I imagine them watching the recap, shedding some more tears. Prim will likely sleep with my mom tonight and I'm thankful that Buttercup will be there to comfort her. It seems strange how Gale and I were just picking berries this morning.

I feel so lonely without them and I wondered if I slept, would I wake up in District 12? I knew I wouldn't, but I striped from my clothing, ignoring the night gowns in the draws, and crawled into bed. The sheets are soft, reminding me that I'm not home as I close my eyes. If I'm going to cry, then now is the time. I'll be able to wash the tears away in the morning, but none come. I'm too tired and too numb to cry, so I let the oblivion take over instead.

Grey light is leaking through the window, followed by Effie's voice. "Up, up, up! It's going to be a big, big, big day!" I try to imagine what it's like to be in that women's head but then I shake the thought away and get dressed.

I put the green shirt and trousers on since they're not really dirty, just slightly crumpled from the night before. I trace my finger around the golden Mockingjay and think about what my family are doing at the moment. Prim would be on her way to school soon and my mother would be trying to sell some of her medicines, probably, or cooking or cleaning. Gale would be heading out to check the snares we had reset yesterday, without me for the first time in a long time. My braid, that my mother did, still looks fine so I leave it as it is. It doesn't matter, were not far from the Capitol and once we reach there I'm sure their do what they want. I'll become their living doll.

I enter the car and Effie brushes past me with a cup of black coffee in her hand. She's muttering something under her breath, clearly pressured by today. Haymitch with his puffy red face is chuckling and Peeta holds a roll looking somewhat embarrassed.

"Sit down! Sit down!" Says Haymitch, waving me over. I sit down in my chair, opposite Peeta, and soon I am served a breakfast of all different kinds of food, eggs, ham and piles of potato. A basket of rolls sits between me and Peeta, reminding me of that day. Orange juice as well, I remember when my father brought me my first ever and only orange for New Year's. A rich brown cup of nothing I have ever seen, sits in front of me. It smells sweet.

"They call it hot chocolate," Says Peeta, "It's good."

I smile a little at him before I can stop myself and then take a sip of the hot, sweet, creamy liquid as a shudder runs through me. I ignore the rest of my meal until I have drained my cup and then I eat as much of the food as I can, not over doing it, though.

I stop when my stomach feels like it's about to be split open, I lean back watching what my companions are doing, mainly Peeta. He is still eating, breaking of bits of roll and dipping them in hot chocolate. He's concentrating hard on the basket of rolls in front of him, is he thinking about his family? Haymitch isn't eating but he's drinking, judging by the fumes it's some kind of spirit.

The sight of him makes me angry. It's his fault why none of us ever win. Some of the tributes have been strong enough to make a go for it, but they never got sponsors and he's the reason why. We don't have a chance with him as our mentor.

"So you're supposed to give us advice," I say to Haymitch.

"Here's some advice. Stay alive." Says Haymitch and then bursts out laughing. I exchange a look with Peeta before I remember that I'm not supposed to have anything to do with him, I'm not supposed to let my feelings show. I'm surprised by the hardness in his eyes.

"That's very funny," Says Peeta and then he smacks Haymitch's glass out of his hand. It shatters on the floor and a trail of red liquid runs across the carpet like blood from a fresh cut. "Only not to us."

Haymitch watches Peeta for a moment and then punches Peeta on the jaw, knocking him from his chair. I'm so mad for a moment that when he turns to reach for his spirits, I drive my knife in between his hand and the bottle, barely missing his fingers. I brace myself for the next attack but it doesn't come. Instead he sits back and squints at us.

"Well, what's this?" Questions Haymitch, "Did I actually get a pair of fighters this year?"

Peeta stands up, grabbing for the ice in the fruit tureen. He starts to raise it to the mark on his jaw. "No," Says Haymitch, stopping him, "Let the bruise show. The audience will think you've mixed it up with another tribute before you've even made it to the arena."

"That's against the rules," Says Peeta.

"Only if they catch you. That bruise will say you fought, that you weren't caught, even better," Says Haymitch. He turns to me, "Can you hit anything with that knife besides a table?"

The bow and arrow is my weapon. But I've spent a fair amount of time throwing knives as well. I realize this is the moment to get Haymitch's attention. I yank the blade out of the table, get a good grip of it, and then throw it into the wall across the room. It lodges in the seam between two panels, making me look a lot better than I am. I sneak a quick look at Peeta, he is staring at the wall with his eyes wide and eyebrows raised. I impressed him. I have to hide my smirk before it's shown.

"Stand over here. Both of you," Says Haymitch and we obey, standing where he nodded for us to go. He prods us like animals, checking our muscles, examining our faces. "Well, you're not entirely hopeless. Seem fit. And once the stylist gets hold of you, you'll be attractive enough."

"All right, I'll make a deal with you. You don't interfere with my drinking and I'll stay sober enough to help you," Says Haymitch, "But you have to do exactly what I say."

It's not much of a deal but it's a giant step forward from ten minutes ago and it gives us some help. It's better than no guide at all.

"Fine," Says Peeta.

"So help us," I say, "When we get to the arena, what's the best strategy at the cornucopia for someone – "

"One thing at a time. In a few minutes, we'll be pulling into the train station. You'll be put in the hands of your stylists. You're not going to like what they do to you. But no matter what it is, don't resit." Says Haymitch.

"But –" I begin.

"No buts. Don't resit," Says Haymitch. He takes the bottle of spirits and leaves the car, the door closing behind him. The room goes darker, it's still light in the train, but outside it's like night has fallen again. We must be in the tunnel that runs through the mountain into the Capitol.

Peeta and I stand in silence as the train speeds on, the tunnel going on and on. My chest tightens as the tunnel makes me feel like the miners, reminding me of what my father's last few moments were like before the mine blew up.

The train begins to slow and a bright light shines through the window, blinding us. We can't help it. Both Peeta and I run to the window to see what we've only seen on TV, the Capitol. Everything seems grander then on camera, the tall white buildings sparkle in the sunlight and shiny cars move down paved worlds. Everything is so beautiful here compared to our district. People walk down the streets, all in different colours that make them stand out from each other. Wigs that are all shapes and sizes. It's too much. Their bright colours ruin the effect of the city.

People start to see the tribute train and point towards us. I step away from the window, sickened by their excitement, how they can't wait to watch us die. Peeta holds his ground, waving and smiling at the gawking crowd. Of course he would. I watch him helplessly for a moment, how am I supposed to save him without letting my feelings for him show? He only stops when the train pulls into the station, blocking us from their view.

He catches me staring at him and shrugs. I look away, blushing slightly and now I'm angry at myself for blushing in front of him. "Who knows?" He says, "One of them could be rich."

I have misjudged him. I may be in love with him but I don't know him. I've only known him from the side, just a shadow watching over him. His kind acts, with the squeeze of my hand, his father visiting me and promising to feed Prim… did Peeta put him up to that? His tears at the station, volunteering to help Haymitch but challenging him when being the nice guy failed. And now waving at the crowd, trying to win them over just like he won me.

Peeta Mellark, the guy who I can't help but love, is fighting to kill me. The shock stings, but I'm glad that he hasn't given up.

**(a/n): that's that chapter. I hope you enjoyed it and please do tell me what you think. That was the last one that not much Everlark happens, I promise, as of course the opening ceremonies is next. If this get's a good response then I might post it tomorrow:) **

**Teaser for future chapters: I've written up to the interviews and I think I killed the Capitol with emotions overload.**


	4. Opening ceremonies

**(a/n): hello again. Thank you all so much for all the reviews and views that the last chapter got, I'm shocked by how many people are reading this story. Here is the next one to say thanks:) enjoy.**

**All credit goes to Suzanne Collins.**

**Chapter 4:Opening ceremonies**

Venia, a women with aqua hair and gold tattoos above her eyebrows, yanks a strip of fabric from leg, taking the hair with it. I grit my teeth hating the makeover.

"Sorry!" She pipes in her high pitched silly Capitol accent. "You're just so hairy!"

Their voices have already started to annoy me and I don't understand how they can talk like that, with the high pitch voices, how their jaws barely open and the hiss on the _s. _No wonder why it's so easy to mimic them.

I think Venia is trying to pull a sympathetic face, but you can never know with the way she covers it. "Good news, though. This is the last one. Ready?" I grip the edges of the table I'm sitting on and nod. The last of my hair is uprooted from leg as I jerk at the pain.

I've been in the Remake center for more than three hours and I still have not met my stylist. They told me he had no interest in seeing me until Venia and the other members of my prep team have fixed some obvious problems. I have been scrubbed down with some gritty foam that has removed three layers of skin as well as dirt. My nails have been turned into uniform shapes and my body has been plucked like a bird, leaving my skin tingly and sore. I have kept my side of the bargain, done what Haymitch had said, and haven't refused anything.

"You're doing very well," says Flavius with orange corkscrew locks and deep purple lips - the colours don't look good together, "If there's one thing we can't stand, it's a whiner. Grease her down!"

Venia and Octavia, a plump women whose entire body has been dyed a pea green, rub me down with a lotion that first stings and then soothes my skin. Then they pull me of the table, removing my robe that has been on and off, and I stand there, completely naked, as the three of them check my body over, pulling at the last bits of hair with their tweezers. Their unhuman like ways doesn't make me feel embarrassed.

The three step admiring their work. "Excellent! You almost look like a human being now!" Says Flavius and they all laugh.

I force my lips up into a smile to show how grateful I am. "Thank you," I say sweetly, "We don't have much cause to look nice in District 12."

Their laughter stops, followed by those sympathetic faces again. They look like they're in pain more than anything. "Of course you don't, you poor darling!" Says Octavia, clasping her hands together in distress for me.

"But don't worry," says Venia. "By the time Cinna is through with you, you're going to be absolutely gorgeous!"

"We promise. You know, now that we've got rid of all that hair and filth, you're not horrible at all!" says Flavius encouragingly.

They leave the room after that, leaving me staring after them. It's hard to hate them when they're such idiots, but I know they're really trying to help me. Cold white walls and floor surround me, I want to put my robe back on but I know Cinna is going to want to see me. My hands go to my hairdo, the one area that my prep team have been told to leave alone, stroking the silk braids that my mother had done. I left her blue dress on my train car, not thinking to retrieve it and now I wish I had.

The door opens and a young man who must be Cinna enters. I'm shocked by how normal he looks. I expect someone with blue skin with a matching wig, not Cinna's close-cropped hair that seems more of a natural shade of brown than anything. Not even coloured clothes, just a simple black shirt and trousers. The only thing that links him to the Capitol is the golden eyeliner marking his eyes. They bring out the golden flecks in his eyes, and I hate to admit it, but it looks attractive.

"Hello, Katniss. I'm Cinna, your stylist." He says in a quiet voice that is somehow lacking the Capitol accent. How has this man been raised in the Capitol and turned out to look so normal?

"Hello," I say cautiously.

"Just give me a moment, all right?" he asks. He walks around my naked body, not touching, but observing every inch of me with his eyes. I resist the impulse to cross my arms over my chest. "Who did your hair?"

"My mother," I say.

"It's beautiful. Classic, really. And in almost perfect balance with your profile. She has very clever fingers." He says.

I had expected someone different, someone older trying to be younger and wanting to prepare me as a piece of meat for a platter.

"You're new, aren't you? I don't think I've seen you before," I say. Most of the stylist are familiar, some I have grown up seeing on the screen, watching as they make the kids up before they go to their death.

"Yes, this is my first year in the games," Says Cinna.

"So they gave you District 12," I say. Newcomers usually end up with us, the least desirable.

"I asked for District 12," He says without further explanation. "Why don't you put on your robe and were have a chat."

I pull on my robe and follow him through a door to a sitting room. Two red sofas face each other with a table in between, surrounded by three white walls and a glass window that overlooks the Captiol. I can see by the light that it must be around noon. Cinna invites me to sit and then takes the seat opposite me. He pressed a button on the side of the table and the top splits, below rises a second table that holds our lunch. Chicken, with chunks of oranges in a creamy sauce laid on white grain, tiny green peas and onions. Of course, there is rolls shaped like flowers, reminding me of Peeta and how I need to keep him alive. Next to the meal is a pudding of the colour of honey.

Instead of Peeta, I focus on how I would make this dinner at home. How it would take days of hunting and trading just to make this one meal and then in won't even be to the standard of the Capitol. I wonder what it must be like to live in a world where food arrives by a push of a button. What would I have done with my life if I didn't need to spend it hunting and gathering? What do the people in the Capitol do all day apart from waiting for the next Hunger Games and decorating their bodies?

I look up to find Cinna's eyes trained on mine. "How despicable we must be to you." He says.

Can he read my mind or see what I'm thinking by my face? He isn't wrong, though, the whole lot of them are despicable.

"No matter," Says Cinna, "So, Katniss, about your costume for the opening ceremonies. My partner, Portia, is the stylist for your fellow tribute, Peeta. And our current thought is to dress you in complementary costumes," says Cinna, "As you know, it's customary to reflect the flavour of the District."

For the opening ceremonies, you're supposed to wear something that represents your District's principle industry. For District 12, Peeta and I will be dressed in some kind of coal miner's get-up. Usually, our tributes end up in skimpy outfits with hats and head lights. One year they were completely stark naked, covered in coal dust. It's always dreadful and does nothing to affect the crowds. I prepare for the worst.

"So, I'll be in a coal miner's outfit?" I ask, hoping it won't be indecent.

"Not exactly. You see, Portia and I think that coal miner things very overdone. No one will remember you in that. And we both see it as our job to make the District 12 tributes unforgettable." Says Cinna.

_I'm naked for sure, _I think, _with Peeta standing next to me. _

"So rather than focus on the coal mining itself, we're going to focus on the coal," Says Cinna.

_Naked and covered in black dust next to Peeta, _I think.

"And what do we do with coal? We burn it," Says Cinna. "You're not afraid of fire, are you, Katniss?" He sees my expression and grins.

In a few hours I am dressed in either the most sensational or deadliest costume in the opening ceremonies. A simple black unitard that covers me from ankle to neck and shiny black boots up to my knees. A cape that is made out of streams of orange, yellow and red, with a matching head piece. Cinna plans to set them on fire just before our carriage goes out in front of the crowd.

"It's not real flame, of course, just a little synthetic fire Portia and I came up with. You'll be perfectly safe." He says and I smile, as if I'm reassured, but I'm not and it looks like I'll be sent home in a wooden box a lot earlier than planned.

No make-up and my hair has been brushed out and braided down my back again. "I want the audience to recognize you when you're in the arena," Cinna says, "Katniss, the girl who was on fire."

His calm faces makes me even more panicked over the fire, he's secretly a madman. I think I would rather be naked in front of Peeta then to be set on fire.

I'm relieved that Peeta shows up, the sight of him helps manage me to calm down. Were both wearing identical costumes and I'm actually glad he's going through this with me. I give him a small smile, which he returns. I'm glad that he's trying to kill me, I only hope that it happens at the right time, when I know that he can go on and win. Portia and his prep team are all giddy with excitement, offering congratulations to a calm Cinna.

Below the Remake center is an enormous stable that is full with chariots, already loaded with some of the tributes. It's the first time seeing them and I can already tell most of them all bigger than me. The opening ceremonies are about to start. Our chariot is the last one, being District 12, and our four horses are coal-black. We get into the chariot and Cinna and Portia arrange our body positions and our capes, before going off to talk. Leaving me and Peeta alone.

"What do you think?" I whisper to Peeta. "About the fire?"

"I'll rip of your cap if you'll rip of mine," he says, through gritted teeth.

"Deal," I say. If we can get them of fast enough then were avoid the worst burns but either way their still throw us into the arena. "I know we promised Haymitch we'd do exactly what they say, but I don't think he considered this angle."

"Where is Haymitch, anyway? Isn't he supposed to protect us from this sort of thing?" says Peeta.

"With all that alcohol in him, it's probably not advisable to have him around an open flame." I say.

We're suddenly both laughing. I'm not acting sensibly laughing and talking with him but a general happiness floats inside of me over our first proper conversation, my first time making him laugh and us laughing together. This is just because of our nerves but I'll take these few minutes.

The opening music begins and the massive doors open up, reviling the long line of crowds going down the street. It seems endless, but I can see the City Circle at the bottom. The ride up to the City Circle only lasts about twenty minutes, where we're welcome, the anthem is played and then we're taken to the Training Center.

The snow white horses at the front take the first tributes from District 1 through the doors. The roar of the crowd, greeting their favorites, as the beautiful tributes in silver and jewels goes past them. District 2 get into position to follow them and then soon it is us. We're approaching the door, where outside the sky is turning overcast and the crowd are cheering for their favorites. District 11 are just rolling out when Cinna appears with a lighted torch.

"Here we go then," he says and before we can react, he lights our capes on fire. I wait for the fire to consume me but there is only a tickling feeling. Our headdresses are then ignited and we're a glowing flame. He lets out a sigh of relief. "It works," He tucks a hand under my chin, "Remember, heads high. Smiles. They're going to love you."

We begin rolling, heading towards the doors and Cinna jumps of. He turns around, with one more idea, and starts to shout something but it's hard to hear over the music.

"What's he saying?" I ask Peeta, looking at him for the first time with the fire. I have to close my mouth, he looks dazzling with the fire glowing around him like a halo.

"I think he said for us to hold hands," He says. He grabs my right hand in his left hand and we look back at Cinna for conformation. He nods. We enter the city and I know my hand is sweating in Peeta's, I squeeze his hand in a friendly gesture before I can stop myself. He gives me a friendly smile. What is this? Is this a smile that wants to kill me or generally friendly?

The crowd's cheers are deafening, distracting me from Peeta. Shouts of "District 12" and I look up to see every head is turned in our direction, pulling the attention from the chariots in front of us. I'm frozen, then I look up to the screens to see how breathtaking we look. Our faces are illuminated in the twilight and a trial of fire is left dancing behind us. We look attractive but recognizable.

Cinna's last words play in my head and I follow his instructions, putting my chin up higher, putting on a smile and waving to the adoring crowds. I have to clutch to Peeta for balance, my mind and heart racing, overwhelmed, he helps me gain my confidence. Soon, I am blowing kisses to the crowd, waving to the people who call my name. We're showered with flowers, the crowd going wild as we go further down the street.

They're going to remember us. Cinna has given us a great advantage, a great chance for us – Peeta – to get sponsors, a chance that he could possibly win. I have hope that Peeta can win, that I can save him and die knowing he will go on living his life.

A red rose is thrown at me and I catch it, blowing a kiss to the person who throw it. I watch as hands reach up as if to catch my kiss and I wave, making them all cheer and cry. My name is everywhere, Peeta's name is everywhere, and we will be the District that is remembered, the favorites of the year.

When we reach the City Circle I realize that I must have stopped the circulation in his hand. He has been my support and I try to loosen the grip. "No, don't let go of me," he says, "Please, I might fall out of this thing."

"OK," I say. I don't know why Cinna has linked us together, it's strange, and not really fair to present us as a team when only one of us can come out. Still, I'm grateful and feeling his hand in mine offers some sort of comfort, that I'm not alone. But if we're going to carry on being shown as friends – a team – then it's going to be hard for me to contain my feelings.

All twelve of the chariots fill the City Circle, in front are the higher citizens of the Capitol as they look down at us from the windows. Our chariots pull up in front of President Snow's mansion. As we come to a halt, the music dies of behind us.

A small white haired man – the president – gives the official welcome on a balcony above us. During the speech, as tradition, the cameras film the tributes but I can tell they mainly linger on us. As the night darkens, we glow brighter and no one can take their eyes of us – not even the tributes. The national anthem plays and the cameras stay on us as we parade around the circle one last time and into the Training Center.

The doors shut behind us before we're welcomed by our prep teams. They're babbling and praising us on how amazing we looked and did, but I notice that other tributes are giving us dirty looks, we outshone them. Cinna and Poria arrive, removing our caps and headdresses, which Portia extinguishes with a can.

I realize I'm still gripping Peeta's hand and force my stiff fingers to open, realising his hand. We both massage our stiff hands, getting the circulations working again.

"Thanks for keeping hold of me. I was getting a little shaky there," Says Peeta.

"It didn't show." I tell him. "I'm sure no one noticed."

"I'm sure they didn't notice anything but you. You should wear flames more often," he says, "they suit you." He gives me a smile that is so genuinely sweet, with a touch of shyness that a warmth floods through me. I can feel the heat in my cheeks and I know he has seen it as well. Did he really mean those words as a compliment or is he just saying that to play me into him killing me?

Whatever reason it is, I stand up on my tiptoes and kiss his cheek, surprising both him and me.

**(a/n): I hope you liked the chapter, please do tell me what you thought. If anyone has any ideas or what they would like to see in the story, then let me know. The next chapter will be next Saturday. **


	5. Training

**(A/N): Here is the next chapter. It is two chapters put together, so it is going to be long. I hope you enjoy it. **

**Chapter 5: Training**

A tower will be my home/prison until the games begin, where each Distract has an entire floor for their tributes and team, as well as the Training Center. An elevator is what takes us to our floor, I've only been in an elevator twice before, once to collect my father's medal and the second to say goodbye to my family and friends. That elevator was nothing like this one, crystals that allow you to watch the people below you shrink like ants. It's fascinating and I'm almost tempted to ask Effie if we can ride again, but it somehow seems childish.

Effie will be joining us, since she and Haymitch is still part of our team, so she can guide us round to everywhere we need to be on time. I haven't seen Haymitch since the train and I suspect he's somewhere passed out. Effie is talking about how we made a splash at the opening ceremonies, how she has been talking to everyone about us.

"I've been very mysterious, though," Effie says, her eyes half squinting as if she's trying to pull off the look. "Because, of course, Haymitch hasn't bothered to tell me about your strategies. But I've done my best with what I had to work with. How Katniss sacrificed herself for her sister. How you've both successfully struggled to overcome the barbarism of your district."

Barbarism? I have to fight the urge to not laugh at the irony of those words coming from the women who is preparing us for our slaughter. And what success, exactly?

"Everyone has their reservations, naturally. You being from the coal district. But I said, and this was very clever of me, I said, 'Well, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls!'" Effie beams so brightly that we have to force our enthusiasm to her cleverness, even though she is very wrong. I wonder if the people she has been talking to know that Effie is wrong or even care.

"Unfortunately, I can't seal the sponsor deals for you. Only Haymitch can do that." She says grimly. "But don't worry, I'll get him at the table by gunpoint if necessary." I have to admire her determination.

My quarters are even larger than my house at home, with gadgets and buttons all around the room that are waiting for me to press. The shower also has many buttons that I didn't know there was a hundred different ways you could shower. A mat that can blow dry me and even a gadget that can untangle the knots in my hair. Don't they do anything for themselves?

I program my wardrobe to choose an outfit of my choice and then I look at the window, making it zoom in and out of different places around the city. It's strange watching the Capitol citizens walk along the streets when I am so high up. I discover a mouth piece that lets me order anything I want. But I'm glad when Effie knocks on the door for dinner. I'm starving.

Peeta, Cinna and Portia are standing on a balcony that overlooks the city. After I kissed Peeta on the cheek, I walked in front, not being able to meet his eyes. It was a stupid thing to do, I let my emotions get the better of me for a second. I can't allow it to happen again. I'm glad that the stylists are joining us, especially now that Haymitch is as well. Dinner is more about planning our strategies then eating, so I'm glad the stylists are here to even things out between Effie and Haymitch.

A silent man in white offers everyone glasses of wine. I think about turning it down, but I've never had wine, except the stuff my mother uses for coughs. And if I'm going to die then why not? I take a small sip and almost choke on the dry taste, it needs something sweeter, maybe a few spoonful's of honey or sugar.

Haymitch finally shows up when dinner is about to be served. He's sober, clean and groomed, perhaps he has his own stylist. I don't think I've ever seen him like this and it's weird, I'm always use to seeing him drunk. However, he doesn't refuse the offer of wine. This is the first time I see him eating and I have hope that he will pull himself together to help us.

Small talk is passed around the table, praising Cinna and Portia on the opening ceremonies. I concentrate on my meal – especially as Peeta is sitting opposite me. The young people in white move around us, refilling our food and drinks but they're silent. Half way through my glass of wine, my head starts feeling foggy, so I decide to drink the water instead.

The conversation has turned to our interview outfits and I wonder if that involves more fire. A girl sets a cake on the table and when she lights it, the flames twirl around the table before going out. "What makes it burn? Is it alcohol?" I ask the girl as she looks up, "That's the last thing I wa- Oh! I know you!"

I know this girl from somewhere but I can't place the name or the time. I don't know why I would know someone from the Capitol unless it was on screen. White skin, with dark red hair and striking features. Anxiety and guilt build up inside me and I can't remember why, but I know I have a bad memory with her. Terror crosses her face and she quickly shakes her head before hurrying away from the table.

I look back at the table, the four adults are watching me. Portia has her glass of wine paused at her mouth, Effie's mouth is hanging half open, Cinna looks as normal as ever but is watching me carefully and Haymitch has his eyebrows raised.

"Don't be ridiculous, Katniss! How could you possibly know an Avox?" snaps Effie. "The very thought."

"What's an Avox?" I ask, stupidly.

"Someone who committed a crime. They cut her tongue out so she can't speak." Says Haymitch, "She's probably a traitor of some sort. Not like you'd know her."

"And even if you did, you're not to speak to one of them unless it's to give an order," says Effie, "Of course, you don't really know her."

But I do know her and now that Haymitch has explained I know where, but I can't say it out loud as it would be claiming to break so many laws. "No, I guess not, I just–" I stammer.

Peeta snaps his fingers. "Delly Catwright. That's who it is. I kept thinking she looked familiar as well. Then I realized she's a dead ringer for Delly."

Delly looks nothing like that girl, with her yellowish hair and a pasty face. She's the friendliest girl in school, smiling at everyone and I have never seen the red haired girl smile. But I jump onto Peeta's suggestion, gratefully. "Of course, that's who I was thinking of. It must be the hair." I say.

"Something about the eyes, too." Adds Peeta.

"Oh, well. If that's all it is," says Cinna, "And yes, the cake has spirits, but all the alcohol has burned off. I ordered it specially for your fiery debut."

We eat the cake and move into the sitting room to watch the replay of the opening ceremonies. A few tributes make an impression but nothing can stand next to us. We're flames of glory. The commentators are cheering along with the crowds, clearly impressed.

"Whose idea was the hand holding?" Haymitch asks and I look down trying to conceal my blush.

"Cinna's." Says Portia.

"Just the perfect touch of rebellion," says Haymitch. "Very nice."

Rebellion? I don't know what Haymitch means until I remember the other tributes standing stiffly apart from each other. Us looking like friends sets of its own kind of fire on its own. If the Capitol knew that my feelings for Peeta extended to more than friends, what kind of reaction would that get?

"Tomorrow morning is the first training session. Meet me for breakfast and I'll tell you how I want you to play it," says Haymitch, "Now go get some sleep while the grown-ups talk."

Peeta and I walk down the corridor to our rooms, he leans against the doorway, as if insisting that I pay attention to him. For a moment I think he's about to bring up the kiss. "So, Delly Catwright. Imagine finding her lookalike here."

I'm so thankful that he didn't ask about the kiss, maybe he just thought it was for the show, an act. He's looking for an explanation and I'm tempted to give him one. He covered for me and I am in his debt again. It couldn't do much harm and I trust him enough to tell him. He did lie for me.

I want to talk to someone about her, to try and figure out her story. Gale would be my first choice but I'll never see him again. Would sharing this information make him believe we're friends or reveal any feelings? I don't see how so I decide to tell him, but not here.

Peeta picks up on my hesitation. "Have you been on the roof yet?" I shake my head. "Cinna showed me. You can practically see the whole city. The winds a bit loud though."

I translate his words, knowing he's telling me that no one will hear us. Privacy with Peeta. "Can we just go up?"

"Sure, come on." He says. I follow him up the stairs onto the roof. There's a small dome shape that steps outside. Peeta was right: it is windy up here and cool. I catch my breath at the sight of the city. The city glows like fireflies. In District 12, usually, electricity only works for a few hours a day so we're left with candles. Now, in the Capitol, each light glows like an individual candle illuminating the city in the dark night.

We walk to the edge of the railing, I notice how close Peeta walks next to me, and I don't bother widening the distance between us. I look down to see the buzz of people on the streets. Car noises, shouts and a metal clicking echoing through the night. In District 12 we would all be thinking about settling down for bed now.

"I asked Cinna why they let us up here. Weren't they worried that some of the tributes would jump over the side?" says Peeta.

"What'd he say?" I ask.

"You can't." Says Peeta, holding his arms out into the space. There's a zap and then he jerks his arm back. "Some kind of electric field throws you back onto the roof."

"Always worried about our safety," I say. I wonder if we're even allowed up her now, so late and alone. "Do you think they're watching us now?"

"Maybe," he admits, "come see the garden."

On the other side of the dome is a garden, full with plotted trees and wind chimes hang from the branches. That was the metal clicking I heard. Enough to make us unheard.

I pretend to examine the garden. "We were hunting in the woods one day. Hidden, waiting for game," I say.

"You and your father?" Peeta asks.

"No, my friend Gale. Suddenly all the birds stopped singing at once. Except one. As if it was giving a warning call. And then we saw her. I'm sure it was the same girl. A boy was with her. Their clothes were tattered. They had dark circles under their eyes from no sleep. They were running as if their lives depended on it." I say.

I'm silent for a moment, remembering what happened and how Gale and I had just stood and watched. Too shocked to do anything, when we could have done something to help them.

"The hovercraft appeared out of nowhere," I continue for Peeta, "I mean, one moment the sky was empty and the next it was there. It didn't make a sound, but they saw it. A net dropped down on the girl and carried her up, fast, so fast like the elevator. They shot some sort of spear through the boy. It was attached to some sort of cable and they hauled him up as well. But I'm certain he was dead. We heard the girl scream once. The boy's name, I think. Then it was gone, the hovercraft. Vanished into thin air. And the birds began to sing again, as if nothing happened."

"Did they see you?" Peeta asked.

"I don't know. We were under a shelf of rock," I reply. But I do know. Before the hovercraft came, there was a moment when the girl had seen us, called out for help but we didn't respond. We were her last hope and we didn't help them, now look where she is and the boy.

"You're shivering." Says Peeta.

I rub my arms, the wind and the story making me cold. Peeta takes of his jacket and puts it around my arms. I freeze, shocked at the gesture. This was a bad idea but I don't decline his jacket or the offer his kindness. My heart beats a little faster as he does the top button up. I have to turn my head away to hide my blush, but I'm sure he saw it. He's been seeing me blush a lot today. I must be appearing weak to him or worse, my feelings showing.

"They were from here?" He asks, his fingers lingering on the top button. The tips are touching my throat, leaving my skin tingling from the heat of his hands.

I nod, thinking about how they had that Capitol look about them.

"Where do you supposed they're going?" he asks and as if he realizes that he's still close to me, he let's go of the top button and backs of a step. My body relaxes but I miss his closeness.

"I don't know that," I say. District 12 is the end of the line, anything after that is just ruins and wildness. "And I don't know why they would leave here." Haymitch had called the Avoxes traitors. It had to be against the Capitol, but why? They had no cause to be a rebel. They had everything here.

"I'd leave here." He says loudly and looks around nervously, worried that someone had overheard him. He laughs. "I'd go home now if they let me. But you have to admit the food is prime." He turned his words around, covering himself, making him sound like a scared tribute. I smile slightly.

"It's getting chilly. We better go in." he says. Inside the dome it's warm and I shiver welcoming it. "Your friend Gale. He's the one that took your sister away at the Reaping?"

"Yes. Do you know him?" I ask.

"Not really. I hear the girls talking about him a lot. I thought he was your cousin or something. You favour each other." He says.

"No, we're not related." I say.

Peeta nods, unreadable. "Did he come to say goodbye to you?"

"Yes," I say _and warn me not to save you. _"So did your father. He brought me cookies."

Peeta raises his eyebrows as if he didn't know. Maybe he didn't; maybe he did. "Really. Well, he likes you and your sister. I think he wishes for a daughter instead of a houseful of boys."

The thought that I could be discussed around the dinner table, makes me blush, _again_, but I'm nervous about what could have been said. It must have been when the mother was out of the room.

"He knew your mother when they were kids," says Peeta and I see he is watching me. He sees my blush, _again_. For someone who's supposed to be hiding her feelings, I'm doing a really bad job at it. I'm like an open book and Peeta is reading me, discovering my secrets and feelings.

His father knowing my mother is a surprise, but probably true. "Oh, yes. She grew up in town." I say politely, it seems rude to mention that my mother never spoke about him other than complimenting his bread.

We're at my door. I give him his jacket. "See you in the morning."

"See you," He says, giving me another sweet smile and then walks of down the hall.

I open the door to find the red-headed girl tidying up my unitard and boots from the opening ceremonies. I want to apologies for getting her into trouble earlier, but I know I'm not allowed to talk to her, unless I'm giving an order.

"Oh, sorry," I say, "I was supposed to get them back to Cinna. I'm sorry. Can you take them to him?" She avoids my eyes, gives a small nod, and leaves the room.

I'm ashamed that I never helped her or the boy in the woods. How I let him die and her be captured, turned to an Avox, and now forced into working here for me. I wanted to apologies for dinner but my apology goes a lot deeper and I can imagine she'll be eager to see me die in the games.

I kick my shoes of and climb under the covers in my clothes. I'm still shivering, but I think it's more from Peeta's affect than anything. If I keep letting him in then it's going to be hard to turn him down, especially when the games begin. And if it's all a trick to weaken me, to kill me, then it's working and perhaps it will be Peeta that kills me.

I wake up, screaming from the nightmares that have already begun. I'm covered in sweat and my body is shaking from the images of the games, Peeta dying and the red-headed girl running. I can taste blood in my mouth from where I bit my cheek. Outside the window dawn is approaching and I close my eyes just to calm down for a second.

I drag myself out of bed and head to the shower. Jets of cold water followed by hot water shoot at me as I punch the buttons, trying to work out how to work it. I use a lemon foam to scrub my body with and for a moment, I stand letting the water wash away the nightmares.

An outfit has been left for me. Tight black long trousers, a burgundy long-sleeved tunic and leather shoes. When I have dried my hair, I put it back into its normal braid. In the mirror I look just like me, no costumes or make up. The outfit is the only thing that looks out of place, that and the room behind me.

I make my way to the dining room, my stomach already rumbling as the smell drifts down the hallway. Haymitch hasn't given us a certain time but I'm the first one up when I enter the dining room. Food has been laid out along a long table and a man in white stands ready to serve. He nods when I ask if I can serve myself. I load my plate with eggs, sausages, batter cakes, lemon and I even take a roll. I tear parts of the roll off, dipping it into the hot chocolate, just like Peeta did. My thoughts go to what my mother and Prim are doing and I wonder what they thought about my costume for the opening ceremonies.

Haymitch comes first, wishing me a good morning and then goes to fill his plate up. When Peeta comes in, he smiles, wishing me good morning in a much happier, kinder voice then Haymitch did. I notice he is wearing the same outfit as me, I don't get what they're doing with the whole twin thing, but I don't question them. I do what Haymitch told me to do exactly what they say.

We will have three days to train, on the last day, in the afternoon, we will have a chance to perform privately in front of the Gamemakers. I'm nervous about the training, seeing what the other tributes can do and meeting them all. Learning some of their names, recognizing the faces of each district for when the games begin.

I'm finished with the roll, but I still have some hot chocolate left. I go to drink the rest but Peeta passes me another roll, our fingers touching slightly. "Thank you," I say, smiling. Instead of sitting opposite me, he sits next to me and I know I have gone too far on showing my emotions. He must think we're friends now or acting like my friend to pull me into some sort of trap. I look up to see Haymitch watching us, curiously.

"So, let's get down to business. Training. First off, if you like, I'll coach you separately. Decide now." He says, leaning back against his chair.

"Why would you coach us separately?" I ask.

"Say if you had a secret skill you might not want the other to know," says Haymitch.

I exchange a look with Peeta. "I don't have any secret skills," he says, "And I already know what yours is, right? I mean, I've eaten enough of your squirrels."

I had never thought about Peeta eating my squirrels. I just assumed they always had the more expensive meat from the butchers, but now that I think about the amount of squirrels I've sold, I've been feeding Peeta and his family a lot.

"You can coach us together," I tell Haymitch. Peeta nods. This whole twins act might make us allies, allow me to stay with him and protect him as much as I can.

"All right, so give me some idea of what you can do," says Haymitch.

"I can't do anything," says Peeta, "Unless you count baking bread."

"Sorry, I don't. Katniss –"

"Peeta is strong. He can lift fifty-kilos of flour," I say.

"Katniss is good with a bow and arrow," Peeta says, "My father always buys her squirrels. He always comments how the arrow never pierce the body. She hits every one in the eye. It's the same with the rabbits she sells the butcher. She can even bring down deer."

I'm shocked that Peeta has even taken notice. Shocked that he has assessed my skills. Shocked that he's talking me up. I don't know what he's doing. "What are you doing?" I ask.

"What are you doing? Why are you telling him about me when you could be telling him about yourself? If he's going to help you, he has to know what you're capable of." He says.

"Then why are you underestimating yourself? Being strong isn't nothing." I snap. How am I supposed to help keep him alive if he doesn't think he can do anything?

"Yes, and I'm sure the arena will be full with bags of flour for me to chuck at people. It's not like being able to use a weapon. You know it isn't." he shoots back.

"He can wrestle," I tell Haymitch, who is watching us with raised eyebrows, "He came in second in our school competition last year, only after his brother."

"What use is that? How many times have you seen someone wrestle someone to death?" says Peeta in disgust.

"There's always hand-to-hand combat. All you need is to come up with a knife, and you'll at least stand a chance. If I get jumped, I'm dead!" My voice is raising, angry that he is giving up on living and angry that he is underestimating himself.

"But you won't be! You'll be living up in some tree eating raw squirrels and picking off people with arrows. You know what my mother said to me when she came to say goodbye, as if to cheer me? She says maybe District 12 will finally have a winner. Then I realize, she didn't mean me, she meant you!" burst Peeta and I flinch. His mother said all that not knowing that I'm sacrificing my life for her son to live.

"Oh, she meant you," I say, waving my hand in disbelief.

"She said, 'She's a survivor, that one.' _She is." _Says Peeta.

The pain in his eyes confirms his words. I feel my anger slip away. My hand goes out to comfort him, but I pull it away. His eyes slip down to my hands and I know he saw, but he doesn't say anything. His words and her words makes me think about the bakery, I am a survivor because of him and he will be a survivor because of me. "But only because someone helped me."

His eyes flicker to the roll in my hand, the roll he gave me, and I know he remembers, too. I place the roll he gave me into his hands, hoping he sees into it. He shrugs, looking away. "People will help you in the arena. They'll be tripping over each other to sponsor you," He says, squeezing the roll in his hands. Crushing his survival. I had hoped the roll would give him hope, just like it gave me.

"No more than you," I whisper, wanting him to know how much I will help him.

Peeta rolls his eyes at a very amused Haymitch. "She has no idea. The effect she can have," He squeezes the roll again, refusing to look at me. I don't know what his words mean, my body tingles at the thought of it being a compliment but it could be an insult. I glare at the table.

"Neither do you," I mutter but I know he heard me.

Haymitch clears his throat, "Well, then. Well, well, well. Katniss, there's no guarantee there'll be bow and arrows in the arena, but during your private sessions with the Gamemakers, show them what you can do. Until then, stay clear of archery. Are you any good at trapping?"

"I know a few basic snares," I mutter loud enough for Haymitch to hear this time.

"That may be significant in terms of food," says Haymitch, "And, Peeta, she's right, never underestimate strength in the arena. Very often, physical power tilts the advantage for a player. In the Training Centre, they will have weights, but don't reveal how much you can lift in front of the other tributes. The plan's the same for both of you. You go to group training. Spend the time trying to learn something you don't know. Throw a spear. Swing a mace. Learn to tie a decent knot. Save showing what you're best at until your private sessions. Are we clear?" Says Haymitch.

We nod.

"One last thing. In public, I want you by each other's side every minute." Surprisingly, Peeta starts to object but I keep quiet because us training together could end up helping him more. He shots Peeta a look. "Every minute! It's not open for discussion! You agreed to do what I said! You will be together, you will appear amiable to each other. Now get out. Meet Effie at the elevator at ten for training."

I go back to my room, slamming the door behind me because I am mad at Peeta. It hurts that he doesn't want to team up with me, that he complained when Haymitch told us, but I get why. How can you be friends with someone when only one of you could survive? I'll have to make sure he's training, making sure we get round to everything so he can learn as much as he can. If I die sooner than planned, then I need him being able to survive by himself.

_She has no idea. The effect she can have._ Are those words a compliment? He has been watching me closely, he can't notice that much about me without paying attention. I know I have been keeping track of him, watching him, that's how I know about the wrestling and the baking. It's almost ten so I leave my room. I'm nervous about meeting the other tributes.

Peeta and Effie are at the elevator waiting for me. He doesn't look at me. We travel down the elevator, down below ground to where the gymnasium is, filled with various weapons and stations that can help us survive. Other tributes are stood around in a circle, their district numbers pinned to their shirts, I notice Peeta and I are the only ones dressed alike.

A women called Atala stands up and begins to explain the training schedule. We can go to whatever station we desire, where experts will be there ready to help us if needed. We're not allowed to get into any combat with any other tribute, caring about our safety again.

I get a good glimpse of the tributes, some of them are taller, intimidating. Others are just skin and bones, not being fed well. I have a healthier body than most around me thanks to what I can gather in the forest. The career tributes all stand together, already picking out the weakest ones to kill first. They have never missed a meal. They have spent their lives training for this moment, to volunteer and bring honour to their family. I notice they keep glancing my way, still jealous over our stylist, over our costumes and the response we had because of them. Or perhaps it's the matching outfits or the way Peeta and I stand close together. They head straight to the weapons as soon as we're released.

Peeta nudges me, "Where would you like to start?"

The career tributes are showing of and the others are shaking as they pick up their first weapon. "Suppose we ties some knots," I say.

"Right you are," He says and follows me over to where the trainer looks happy to see us. He must be unpopular with everyone running to get the weapons. He trains us to make a trap that can hang a competitor by the leg from a tree. After we move to camouflage where Peeta and the trainer shows me how to disguise myself using mud, berry juices and clay. He even starts to paint vines and leaves on my skin. I look around to see other tributes watching us.

"I do the cakes," Peeta admits to me.

"I know." I tell him.

"You do?" He seems confused.

"Prim likes to look at them in the window and I would look in to see you decorating a new batch. They're beautiful," I tell him and paint a flower on his hand, trying to paint the one he paints on most of the cakes at the bakery. Mine is nothing compared to his.

What he's painted on his arms is completely different from the cakes at the bakery. He's painted a picture of the bark from a tree with sunlight reaching through the leaves, you can tell with the difference in light and dark. When he puts his arm against the tree on the station, it completely disappears, you can see it but only when you concentrate.

"I didn't know you were so observant," he says.

"I didn't know you could work on more than cakes," I tell him. "It's lovely. If only you could frost someone to death."

"Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you'll find in the arena. Say it's actually a gigantic cake– " Begins Peeta.

"Say we move on," I break in.

The next three days pass with Peeta and I, going round the different stations. We learn new skills, making fires, tying knots, knife throwing to making shelter. Being stuck with Peeta was not the best of idea, somehow we have grown closer. Death is staring right at us but we have formed a friendship between us. We eat together, train together and talk a lot. We laugh at each others jokes, causing the other tributes to glare at us and the Gamemaker's have started to take an interest. We're going to become targets when the games begin, but after out opening ceremonies, we're already a bigger target than anyone else.

Lunch time is my favorite time of the day. It's the time when it's just Peeta and I with no adults around, just the two of us surrounded by tributes that want to kill us. On our first lunch he teaches me all the different breads between the districts. I smile at him as he tells me, watching as his face brightens up when talking about the bread. We then tell each other stories, making each other laugh and the other tributes stare at us.

On the second day, we're practicing throwing spears when Peeta whispers to me, "I think we have a shadow."

I throw my spear, I'm not too bad but that's only at a short distance. The little girl from District 11 is standing behind us, watching us with those wide eyes. She looks more ten then twelve and more like Prim. She reminds me of a bird, with the way she stands on her tiptoes and her arms slightly extended out, like she is going to take off.

Peeta throws his spear and then whispers, "I think her names Rue."

Rue is a small flower that grows in the meadow. Rue. Primrose. I bite my lip, throwing the spear to do something other than look at her. We don't speak about her anymore, but I know she still watches us. At times she joins us at stations. I notice how she is clever with plants, climbs swiftly and has a good aim. She's good with a slingshot, but a slingshot has no chance against a sword.

Dinners and breakfast are spent with Effie and Haymitch wanting to know everything about our day. Asking about what we did, who we spoke to and what the other tributes are doing. Cinna and Portia aren't around, leaving us alone with them. They're working more as a team now, determined to help us out rather than fighting. They tell us endless instructions. Peeta is more patient than me but I become fed up.

"Someone ought to get Haymitch a drink," says Peeta. He's walking me to my room before bed, he did this last night and the night before, so I don't stop him now. I laugh, an actual snort escapes me, embarrassing me in front of him.

"Perhaps Effie as well," I say. We reach my room and I turn around to face him.

"See you tomorrow then," He says, giving me that sweet smile of his.

Before I can think things through, I hug him. He's surprised at first but hugs me back and I think he lets out a small sigh. I pull away, mumbling, "Goodnight." And then I go into my room, closing the door behind me. It was a stupid thing to do. Things are getting too far between us and I'm not sure where we stand. I will protect Peeta but is he generally being nice to me or is he leading me into a trap?

The next day I keep my distance from Peeta, I can't afford to let my feelings show like that again, but when we're in public I pretend that everything is normal. He seems to catch on. It's the final day of training, so during lunch people start to get called out for their private session. We're last to be called. Rue is called before us and a pressure is realised. A silence passes between Peeta and I. Peeta is called.

"Remember what Haymitch said about being sure to throw the weights." I remind him. He needs to get a decent score if he's going to get sponsors.

"Thanks. I will," he says, "You shoot straight."

I nod. He leaves and I am left alone. I'm worried that Peeta won't get a good enough score, if it's low then it's going to be harder to keep him alive. After fifteen minutes I am called. I take a deep breath and walk out into the gymnasium. The Gamemaker's are bored, they have had too much wine and want to go home.

I ignore them, there's nothing I can do, and walk to the weapons where the bow and arrow has been calling for me. Different bows to choose from, wooden, metal and plastic. Then next to them are the arrows with feathers and flawless uniform lines. I choose a bow and string it, then sling the matching quiver onto my shoulder. The station has a shooting range but it is too limited. Instead, I use the dummy used for knife throwing. I pull the bow back and I know something is wrong. The string is tighter and when I let the arrow go, it missed the dummy by a few center meters. I'm humiliated, the one little attention I had is now gone. I head back to the bulls eyes, shooting again and again until I get use to the weapon.

If I'm going to get a decent score now, I'm going to have to really fight for it. I go into the middle of the gymnasium and fire an arrow into the dummy, right where the heart would be. The sand bags then fall as I severed the rope. To finish, I shoot an arrow at the lights, finishing with sparks. Behind me a few are nodding in approval but I have been upstaged by a pig roast. The Gamemaker's hover around it, ignoring me completely.

I am so mad. I'm being a part of their games, their sick show and they don't even have the decency to pay attention to me. Without thinking, I pull an arrow out of my quiver and shoot it at the table, where the Gamemaker's are standing. The apple is pierced through the middle, stopping in the wall. People scream, rushing back from the table and then all heads turn to me.

"Thank you for your consideration." I say and then walk out of the gymnasium without being dismissed.

**(A/N): I hope you liked the chapter. Please do tell me what you think. So, of course, you all must know that the interviews are next. What do you think is going to happen? Since this one is long and the next one will be long as well, and I haven't finished checking it, the next chapter won't be up till Wednesday. **


	6. Interviews

**(A/N): Hello. I am so excited to share this chapter with you. I'm sure you can all guess why. But here it is and I do hope you like the changes I made.**

**Chapter 6: Interviews.**

The Avoxes are gaping at me, all around me everyone and everything is silent. I press the elevator button, trying to keep control. When I get up to our floor, the tears have begun to fall and I hurry to my room, ignoring the calls from the others. I bolt the door shut behind me and bury myself under the quilts, letting the sobs take over.

I'm a complete idiot. I've killed myself and now ruined any help of helping Peeta. What will they do to me now? Arrest me or turn me into one of those Avoxes? I wasn't thinking and I let my anger get the better of me. I'm more scared to what they would do to my family, that they would punish them instead of me.

I should have done something to make it better – anything. I could have apologised or laughed the whole thing of; instead I walk out without being dismissed.

Haymitch and Effie are knocking on my door, I tell them to go away. For a while I am crying, waiting for them to come and get me, but no one comes. There's another knock at the door and I brace myself for whatever they're going to do.

"Katniss?" Peeta questions and I let out a breath.

"What?" I snap.

"Can I come in?" He asks and I bit my lip for a second. If they're going to come for me then a few minutes wouldn't hurt, but I don't want to explain how stupid I am to him. I open the door, slowly, allowing Peeta to come in. He steps in, watching as I wipe the tears away from my eyes. I hate looking weak, especially in front of him. "What happened?"

"I shot an arrow at the Gamemakers." I tell him.

"What?" The tone in Peeta's voice makes me feel even worse.

"I shot an arrow at them. Not exactly at them. In their direction. They wasn't paying any attention to me and… and I just lost my head, so I shot an apple out of their stupid roast pig's mouth!" I say. I look to the door, it's been a while and if someone was coming for me then wouldn't they have come by now?

"No one bothered to pay any attention to me, either. They were too busy singing some kind of drinking song. I just throw some weights around until they let me go," Peeta says.

"I dismissed myself as well," I say. Peeta doesn't say anything, he just hugs me, holding me close to him while the last reaming tears fall. His body is warm, a welcoming touch and I know I'm soaking his shirt. "Do you think they will arrest me?"

"No. It would be too hard to replace you when the games are soon starting." Peeta says, playing with the end of my braid. He's right, they still need a girl tribute to represent District 12. Perhaps I will get my punishment in the arena. No one will see the training anyway, it will just be a score so they could just give me a low score and then a hard time in the games. But that's going to affect me protecting Peeta, my stupid actions have risked him.

"I'm sorry," I say, pulling back. Apologising for more than crying on him and over stepping boundaries.

"You have nothing to apologize about. You're going to be all right." He tells me. "Come on, dinners about to be ready." He takes my hand.

I pull away. "I just need to use the bathroom." I say and then I go to the bathroom, washing my face, but it's still red and splotchy.

Peeta has waited for me and together we walk to the dining room. There's no point on skipping dinner, I don't think no one is coming for me and I might as well tell them before they see my score on the screen. Peeta doesn't take my hand again, he and I both know we have gone too far.

Everyone is at the table – including Cinna and Portia. I wish they hadn't turned up, I hate disappointing the stylists the most. After all their hard work and then I've gone and ruined it. Peeta pulls out my chair and I sit down with him next to me. I know everyone can see the water marks on his shirt, but no one questions it. I avoid looking at anyone, focusing on eating my soup instead.

The main course comes out. Small talk is passed around the table but it is starting to get strained. "OK, enough small talk – just how bad were you today, sweetheart?" Asks Haymitch and the room turns silent.

The pet name ticks me off and so I tell them what happened, like Peeta, they're all shocked and horrid at what I did. Everyone has stopped eating. Peeta squeezes my hand under the table as if in some kind of guidance.

"And what did they say?" Asks Cinna, carefully.

"Nothing. Or I don't know. I walked out after," I say.

"Without being dismissed?" Gasps Effie.

"I dismissed myself," I say. I think of Prim, how she made me promise her how I would try to win and then how I promised myself that I was going to protect Peeta.

"Well that's that." Says Haymitch.

"What will happen to my family?" I ask. "Will they punish them?"

"Don't think so. Wouldn't make much sense. See, they'd have to reveal what happened in the Training Center for it to have any worthwhile effect on the population. People would need to know what you did. But they can't since it's a secret, so it'd be a waste of time. More likely their make your life hell in the arena." Says Haymitch.

"Well, they've promised to do that to us anyway," says Peeta, cheering me up.

"Very true," says Haymitch. He picks up a pork chop with his fingers, making Effie frown, and dunks it into his wine. A low chuckle escapes him. "What were their faces like?"

Now I'm smiling. "Shocked. Terrified. Uh, ridiculous, some of them. One man tripped backwards into a bowl of punch."

We're all laughing then, a part from Effie, who just manages a smile. "Well, it serves them right. It's their job to pay attention to you. And just because you come from District 12 is no excuse to ignore you." Her eyes dart round like she's said something outrageous. "I'm sorry but that's what I think," she says to no one in particular.

"I'll get a very bad score." I say.

"Scores only matter if they're very good; no one pays much attention to the bad or mediocre ones. For all they know, you could be hiding your talents to get a low score on purpose. People use that strategy." Says Portia.

"I hope that's how people will interrupt the four I'll probably get," says Peeta, "If that. Really, is anything less impressive than watching a person pick up a heavy ball and throw it a couple of meters? One almost landed on my foot."

I smile. Peeta would likely get a good grade, strength is a good thing. I focus on my dinner, happy that I know my family are safe but now I could be putting Peeta in more danger. Even more than actually being in the games.

We go into the living room after dinner, to watch the scores. They show a picture of the tribute and then the score underneath. The career tributes naturally get between 8-10, while the others get an average of five. I'm surprised when Rue comes away with a seven and I wonder what she possibly did.

District 12 comes up and I'm relieved when Peeta manages to pull an eight. That's a good score, he can get sponsors. Then my picture comes up and my nails bite into my skin. But I'm shocked when they flash the number eleven on the screen.

Effie lets out a squeal and then everyone is congratulating me. Eleven. I'm completely shocked. "There must be a mistake. How… how could that happen?" I ask Haymitch.

"Guess they liked your temper," he says. "They've got a show to put on. They need some players with some heat."

"Katniss, the girl who was on fire," says Cinna and then he gives me a hug, "Oh, wait until your interview dress."

"More flames?" I ask.

"Of a sort." He says mysteriously.

Peeta and I congratulate each other, no awkward handshake, but a simple hug. We've both done well, our scores will attract sponsors and will help him live. He squeezes me a little harder and then we escaped to our rooms. I fall asleep, easily, from too much stress of the day.

The sun is just rising outside, creating a ray of light across the city. It's Sunday. Usually, Gale and I would be heading our way out, to stock up for the week. I wonder if he's out now. We can both hunt alone but we're better as a pair. I remember when I first met Gale, coming across his snare, I went to take it but he had caught me. How he intimidated me and thought my name was _Catnip. _We had started trading knowledge and skills, before one day we became a team without saying.

Effie knocks on my door, remind me how we have another "big, big, big day!" Tomorrow is the interviews and the team is going to have their hands full with training and getting us ready.

I take a quick shower before heading towards the dining room. Haymitch, Effie and Peeta are huddle around, talking in quiet voices. I fill my plate up with breakfast before joining them at the table.

I eat half my breakfast. Enjoying the tender lamb of the stew and dry plums today. I wash it down with my orange juice and notice everyone has gone silent. "So, what's going on? You're coaching us on interviews today, right?"

"That's right." Says Haymitch.

"You don't have to wait until I'm done. I can listen and eat at the same time," I tell him.

"Before we get down to the interviews," Haymitch says, looking between Peeta and I. "I think now is the time for the two of you to decide what you're doing."

"What do you mean?" Peeta asks and I know what he means. He means if we're going to end whatever bond we had now, or whether we're going to become allies.

"Well, are you going to carry on being friends in the arena?" He asks, raising his eyebrows.

"I don't know. Are we?" Peeta looks at me. I know my answer before the question was even asked, but I look at Peeta carefully. Does he really want to be allies? Perhaps if I'm lucky, we will be allies, and then I will die in his arms. The last tribute to die, knowing he won.

"Sure." I say.

"Great. Easier to deal with sponsors then." Haymitch says.

"What about the interviews?" I ask.

"Well, I've just been talking to Peeta about how we're going to go by training. I suggested we worked separately, taking it in turns between me and Effie, but he didn't want to." Haymitch explains.

"Well, we're friends." I say that earns a few laughs.

"Of course, but you're going to need more work than Peeta. I bet you've never even walked in a pair of heels before!" Says Effie.

"A lot more work," mutters Haymitch. "Anyway, the plan was that Peeta would spend four hours with me, while you spend four hours with Effie and then we switch."

"Maybe it is better if we do this separately," I tell Peeta. Preparing for the interviews is going to be a big embarrassment and I would rather do it without Peeta around.

"Sure." Peeta says.

I was right. It was a good idea not to train with Peeta. When we go to my room, I am put into a full length gown with high-heels. These aren't the ones I'll be wearing for the interview but it's just for practice and I need a lot of practice. I can never understand how Effie wears high-heels all the time – even run in them. But her determination makes me believe I can do it as well. It takes a while to conquer the walking, but soon after that I am taught sitting, posture, eye contact, hand gestures and smiling. All kinds of different smiles used for different times or conversations.

"Well, that's the best I can do," Effie says, exaggerating the sigh. "Just remember, Katniss, you want the audience to like you."

"And you don't think they will?" I ask.

"Not if you glare at them the entire time. Why don't you save that for the arena? Instead, think of yourself as among friends." Says Effie.

"They're betting on how long I live!" I burst out. "They're not my friends!"

"Well, try and pretend!" snaps Effie and then she composes herself, beaming at me. "See, like this. I'm smiling at you even though you're aggravating me."

"Yes, it feels very convincing," I say. "I'm going to eat." I kick of my heels, stomping down the hallway, while hiking my skirt well past my ankles.

"You look like you've had a fun time," Says Peeta as I enter the dining room.

"Don't even talk about it." I say. After all the practicing, I am now hungry and focus on my lunch instead of worrying about the interview. I notice how Peeta and Haymitch are in a good mood, giving me hope that my next lesson will go well. How wrong I am.

We sit in the living room, Haymitch sitting opposite me, a drink in his hand and a frown on his face. "What?" I ask.

"I'm trying to figure out what to do with you," he says. "How we're going to present you. Are you going to be charming? Aloof? Fierce? So far, you're shining like a star. You volunteered for your sister. Cinna made you look unforgettable. You got the top training score. And let's not forget the feelings you have for that boy." I open my mouth to protest, but I know it's no good. "I have eyes, Katniss. And anyone else can see it. They will when then games start. I guess you want to save him. If you want to help him then we need to let the people know who you are. The impression you make will determine what sponsors you get, sponsors that could help him as well."

He's right. I need to have an appeal to the crowd. I need them to remember me. If I want sponsors – for me and Peeta – then I am going to have to do well.

"What's Peeta's approach?" I ask.

"Likeable. He has a sort of self-deprecating humour naturally," says Haymitch. "Whereas when you open your mouth, you come across more sullen and hostile."

"I do not!" I say.

"Please. I don't know where you pulled that cheery, wavy girl on the chariot from, but I haven't seen her before or since." Says Haymitch.

"And you've given me so many reasons to be cheery," I counter.

"But you don't have to please me. I'm not going to sponsor you. So pretend I'm the audience." Says Haymtich. "Delight me."

"Fine." I snarl. It doesn't work. I am no use, I'm too angry at Haymitch to even answer his questions. The more it goes on the more I get angry, until I'm actually spitting answers at Haymitch.

"All right, enough," says Haymitch. "We've got to find another angle. Not only are you hostile, I don't know anything about you. I've asked you fifty questions and I still have no sense of your life, your family, what you care about. And I doubt you even want to admit your feelings to the boy. They want to know about you, Katniss."

"But I don't want them to! They're already taking my future! They can't have the things that mattered to me in the past!" I say.

"Then lie! Make something up!" he says.

"I'm no good at lying." I say.

"Well, you better learn fast. You've got about as much charm as a dead slug," says Haymitch.

The words hurt me. Haymitch realises as his voice softens, "Here's an idea. Try acting humble."

"Humble," I echo.

"That you can't believe a little girl from district 12 has done this well. The whole things been more than you ever could have dreamed of. Talk about Cinna's clothing. How nice the people are. How the city amazes you. If you won't talk about yourself, at least compliment the audience. Just keep turning it back around, all right. Gush."

Gush. It's soon clear that I cannot gush. I can't even play cocky, or act arrogant. I'm too vulnerable for ferocity. Not witty, funny, sexy or mysterious. I am not anything. Haymitch had started drinking, filling his cup up more and more as we went on. "I give up, sweetheart. Just answer the questions and try not to let the audience see how openly you despise them."

I have dinner that night in my room, ordering too many plates than I can handle. Peeta comes in, not even knocking, and sits to eat with me. He doesn't bother asking what's wrong, his presence just comforts me. I hate Haymitch, the Capitol and the stupid interview. I can't do it and now I'm going to ruin the sponsors for Peeta and I.

I get so mad that I end up breaking the plates. Peeta cleans my cuts, comforting me with his words. He pulls back my covers, gently laying me down and pulling the covers back over me. I don't want him to leave. "Don't go." I whisper. He looks unsure at first but soon lays down next to me. I put my head on his chest, listening to his beating heart below. The beat sends me to sleep.

My prep team are screaming. Crying. I'm woken with a sudden alarm to find myself in Peeta's arms. We both exchange an embarrassed glance and then he flees the room. Effie comes in, hearing all the commotion, followed Haymitch. Great. How embarrassing. Now they must know about my feelings. Probably Peeta as well.

The team have been told not to talk about it. I can feel their eyes bulging with the questions they want to ask me, but they don't bring it up. Instead, they focus on making my face glow, stenciling my arms and painting flames on my nails. Venia works on my hair, weaving strands of red into it and then into a braid. My face is stripped down and then painted back on. Giving me dark eyes, red lips, long lashes and finally a gold shimmering powder, dusted over my body.

Cinna enters the room, with my dress. "Close your eyes." He orders.

The silken material slides along my naked body. It's heavy. Octavia holds my hand as she helps me into my shoes, glad that they're smaller than the ones Effie made me try on. Silence is followed soon after.

"Can I open my eyes?" I ask.

"Yes," says Cinna, "open them."

I am as radiant as the sun. My dress is made out of precious gems, reds, yellows, whites and blues, creating the flames that dance along my dress when I move. I may not be able to make a good impression, but my dress will certainly make me remembered.

"Oh, Cinna!" I say after a while, "Thank you!"

"Twirl for me." He whispers. The prep team are screaming again, in admiration, as I spin. Cinna dismissed them and then instructs me to walk around, to get used to the dress and shoes. The dress hangs in a way that doesn't need to be lifted, making things a lot easier.

"So, already for the interview, then?" asks Cinna. His expression shows he has been talking to Haymitch and I wonder how much. He must know since Haymitch told his prep team to keep quiet.

"I'm awful. Haymitch called me a dead slug. No matter what we tried, I couldn't do it. I just can't be one of those people he wants me to be," I say.

Cinna thinks for a moment. "Why don't you just be yourself?"

"Myself? That's no good, either. Haymitch says I'm sullen and hostile." I say.

"Well, you are… around Haymitch." He says with a grin. "I don't find you so. The prep team adores you. You even won over the Gamemakers. And as for the citizens of the Capitol, well, they can't stop talking about you. No one can help but admire your spirit."

My spirit. It suggests I'm a fighter that I do care about a few people I love. A small hand full of them that I fight for, would die for.

Cinna holds my icy cold hands in his warm ones. "Suppose, when you answer the questions, you think you're addressing a friend back home. Who would your best friend be?"

"Gale." I say instantly. "Only, it doesn't make sense, Cinna. I would never tell Gale those things about me. He already knows them."

"What about me? Could you think of me as a friend?" asks Cinna.

Out of all the people I've met since leaving home, Cinna is the nicest. A part from Peeta, he is the only other person I have got on with, have liked. "I think so, but –"

"I'll be sitting on the main platform with the other stylists. You'll be able to look right at me. When you're asked a question, find me, and answer it as honestly as possible," Cinna tells me.

"Even if what I think is horrible?" I ask because there is a high chance of that.

"Especially if what you think is horrible," says Cinna, "You'll try it?"

I nod. It's worth a try. I need this interview to go well if I'm going to save Peeta.

It's time to go. Behind the door and down the escalator, will be the cameras, the crowd of Panem and the other tributes all watching. Cinna goes to open the door and I realize I'm shaking. "Cinna…"

"Remember, they already love you," he reassures me," Just be yourself."

We meet up with the others at the elevator. Seeing Peeta calms down my nerves, if he's calm then I can be as well. He's wearing a black suit with the same gems like mine, going up his arms and blazer, he looks striking. We look good standing together, our outfits are matching. We look like a glory of fire. Everyone's eyes are going to be on us, again. He gives me a reassuring smile.

When the elevator doors open up, tributes are already being lined up to go on stage. Me and Peeta join the line at the back, since were be going last – second to last for me. I'm still shaky with nerves, but I don't let it show, I just want to get it over with, now. It's going to be even worse, listening to the others before I go on, they're just going to make me look even worse.

"Be a happy pair." Haymitch whispers to us.

We nod. Peeta can see how nervous I am and tries to calm me down, by making small talk. After last night things have gotten awkward between us, not knowing what to say about it – there's nothing to say. Everyone starts to walk up onto the stage, I let out a small nervous gasp and Peeta takes my hand, squeezing it gently. We walk up the stage, together, not in line. The crowd are cheering, calling my name when we come on. Cameras are focused on us – on our hands!

The air is cool enough. Gamemaker's are sat up on the balconies and camera men are all around the others. The audience seems to never be ending and I feel myself gripping Peeta's hand tighter. Caesar Flickerman, bounces on stage with the crowd's roar of approval. He's been doing this for more than forty years. His appearance never changing, only the colours of him. This year he's going with the powder blue look. He doesn't look as freaky as last year's crimson, reminding the tributes of the blood that they will spill. A few jokes are shared and then Caesar gets down to business.

The girl from district 1 steps up, smiling. Three minutes is all you get and Caesar does try to help you out, being friendly, laughing at your jokes or getting the audience interested. I'm going to need him, a lot. Since mine and Peeta's chairs are sitting close, our joined hands can be hidden behind my dress and seats – giving us some sort of privacy from the audience. He occasionally rubs small circles, which helps calm me down. This was a bad idea, people could take this the wrong way – especially the Capitol – but it helps me.

I try following Effie's advice, by sitting like a lady and seeming engaged in what is happening. Districts fly by, 1, 2, 3 and different angels are approached. I look for Cinna, he sees me and gives me an encouraging smile. I'm sweating like crazy. Eleven. Rue.

Her dress is complete with wings, and my heart aches as I watch her flutter onto stage. A hush falls over the crowd. I watch as Caesar is sweet with Rue, offering her compliments. Then it is Thresh and then it is me. Peeta gives my hand one last squeeze and then I am walking, up onto center stage. I shake Caesar's hand, silently thanking him for not wiping of the sweat from my hands.

"So, Katniss, the Capitol must be quite a change from District 12. What's impressed you most since you've arrived here?" asks Caesar. A buzz is ringing in my ear, I can't think straight with thousands of eyes on me. I look through the crowd, to find Cinna. He nods his head, edging me on.

"Lamb stew." I say.

Caesar laughs, followed by the audience as I let out a relieved breath.

"The one with the dried plums?" he ask and I nod. "Oh, I eat it by the bucketful." He turns to the audience, in horror, hand on his stomach. "It doesn't show, does it?" The audience shout their reassurances to him and then applaud. I am silently thanking him again, maybe he can get me through this.

"Now, Katniss," he says, "when you came out in the opening ceremonies, my heart actually stopped. What did you think of that costume?"

Cinna raises an eyebrow. "You mean after I got over my fear of being burned alive?" I ask.

The crowd laughs. A laugh I managed to pull.

"Yes, start there," says Caesar.

I look to Cinna as I say it, the words are for him. "I thought Cinna was brilliant and it was the most gorgeous costume I'd ever seen and I couldn't believe I was wearing it. I can't believe I'm wearing this, either," I pull up my skirts, not passed the ankle. "I mean, look at it!"

The audience are buzzing over my dress and Cinna creates a circular motion with his finger. _Twirl. _I spin in a circle and the crowd goes insane. "Oh, do that again!" says Caesar and I lift my arms up, spinning around and around as my dress ignites me in flames, twirling and dancing with me. The audience are cheering. I have to stop, clutching Caesar's arm.

"Don't stop!" he says.

"I have to, I'm dizzy." I'm almost giggling, which is something I have hardly ever done. Prim is usually the only one who actually manages to make me giggle. But the adrenaline is rushing through me now.

He wraps a protective arm around me. "Don't worry, I've got you. Can't have you following in your mentors footsteps." The crowds are going crazy, the cameras find Haymitch, who points them back to me.

"It's alright," says Caesar as he reassures the crowd, "she's safe with me. So, how about that training score? E-le-ven. Give us a hint what happened in there."

I glance up to the Gamemakers, "Um… all I can say is, I think it was a first." The cameras shoot to the Gamemakers, who are nodding and laughing amongst each other.

"You're killing us," Caesar pulls a face of pain. "Details. Details."

"I'm not supposed to talk about it, right?" I ask them.

The one who fell in the punch bowl shouts, "She's not!"

"Thank you," I say. "Sorry. My lips are sealed."

"Let's go back, then, to the moment they called your sister's name at the reaping," says Caesar, the mood around the room going quieter. "And you volunteered. Can you tell us about her?"

I ignore them, they have no right to know, and instead I focus on Cinna. "Her name's Prim. She's just twelve. And I _love_ her." I choke a little, but that seems to send the message out more.

The audience have gone still, leaning in to catch every word I say.

"What did she say to you? After the reaping?" He asks.

I swallow hard. "She asked me to try really hard to win."

"And what did you say?" Prompts Caesar. _I told her that I would but it was a lie, I can't live and let Peeta die. He deserves to live. _My muscles have tensed and I look up to where Haymitch is sat. His eye brows are raised, questioning me to what to say. I see his eyes dart over to where Peeta is sat and I know – _I know_ – that if I want to save Peeta, then I am going to have to use this to my advantage. Declaring my feelings could keep him alive – could give us more than enough sponsors. Haymitch nods his head as if he knows what I'm thinking.

"I told her I would." The crowd sigh. "But I didn't tell her about Peeta." Gasps are shared across the circle, people quieting each other, eager to hear what I have to say. "I didn't tell her that I couldn't survive if he died. I didn't tell anyone. But I couldn't cope with the thought of upsetting her."

Haymitch nods his head. "Oh, and that's the buzzer! What a shame!" Caesar says and he generally looks upset about it. Thank god it's over. "Best of luck, Katniss Everdeen, tribute from District 12."

The applause is deafening, cries are called out for me and Peeta. Haymitch was right – this is going to keep Peeta alive. I look for Cinna and he gives me a thumbs up, as well as a small smile. Haymitch has his arms crossed, but he is smiling. Peeta doesn't look at me as he walks past.

I notice the tributes are watching me, clearly disgusted with the declaration, so am I. This wasn't what I wanted, I never wanted him to find out, especially not now that we're here, being shipped to our death. But this had to be done, the crowd are now admiring Peeta more, cheering and laughing at his jokes. He had them from the start, but my knowledge of feelings has given him a brighter light. If I die, the audience will support Peeta. Instead of feeling down, I sit up and smile as Peeta and Caesar sniff each other. Cameras will be watching me, wanting to see my emotions.

My feelings have seemed to have given Caesar a new side to take. And I'm not sure if I like him or hate him for it. "So, Peeta, do you have a girlfriend?"

The cameras flicker to me and I keep my posture as relaxed as possible. I know he doesn't have a girlfriend – I would have known, would have seen. Peeta hesitates, but shakes his head. My shoulders relax completely.

"Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, what's her name?" Caesar asks and sneaks a look back at me, making the audience go wild.

Peeta sighs. "Well, there is this one girl. I've had a crush on her since I can remember. But I always assumed she didn't know me until the reaping." The crowd let out a load of 'aws' and cheers, this is top entertainment for them. I am on the edge of my seat. Who is this girl?

"She have another fellow?" Caesar asks and I see another look is shot back at me, with a wink, and the audience scream. I can feel myself blushing.

"I don't know, but a lot of boys like her." I suck in a breath. It isn't me. No one likes me. Something deflates inside of me – it's stupid to feel like this when I'm close to dying – and I look away, embarrassed. The crowds see and go quiet.

"So, here's what you do. You win, you go home. She can't turn you down then, eh?" Caesar says.

"I don't think winning is going to work out. Winning… won't help my case." Says Peeta. My head darts back up to the stage, the crowd is gasping, whispering to each other.

"Why ever not?" Ask Caesar, acting mystified. But, like the audience, he knows why. And so do I.

Peeta blushes, the heat filling his cheeks in a handsome way. He stammers, "Because… because… she came here with me."

**(A/N): Sorry. Another evil cliff hanger, especially when everlark ship is about to set sail. Or is it? I hope you liked the chapter. Please do tell me what you think and what you think might happen next. Next chapter will be Saturday.  
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	7. The Hunger Games

**(A/N): I'm glad you all enjoyed the last chapter and the twist I made. Here is the next one, I hope you enjoy it just as much and now the story has taken its own.**

**Chapter 7: The Hunger Games**.

Peeta's beet root face is plastered on the screens for a second and then the cameras turn to me. My mouth is hanging open, I am on the edge of my seat and I am blushing just as red as Peeta. Does Peeta really mean what he said? Or is he just saying that to get more of an effect? For a second, my thoughts go over our time together. Our friendship that had grown over these few days, the jacket he wrapped around me, the hugs we exchanged, the hand holding, him comforting me and us sleeping in each others arms. It's not an act. He likes me – maybe even loves me and now we're going into an arena, where only one of us can come away alive. And it will be him.

The crowd are cheering – some are crying for our forbidden love. I can feel the tears build up in my eyes, but I don't dare let them fall. "Oh, that is a piece of bad luck," says Caesar and the pain is real in his voice. The crowd murmur in agreement with him.

"It's not good." Agrees Peeta.

"Well, I don't think any of us can blame you. It'd be hard not to fall for that young lady," says Caesar. "She didn't know?"

Peeta shakes his head. "Not until now."

"And did you know about her?" He asks and Peeta shakes his head, the pain clear on his face. My heart squeezes and I look up at the screens to see my reflection of Peeta's pain. I can see Peeta is trying not to cry, and the audience can see. They're calling his name and crying for him. "Well, best of luck Peeta Mellark, and I think I speak with Panem when I say our hearts go to yours and Katniss's."

The crowds are clapping, stomping, cheering and crying for us. We have completely taken over the show, our love making them forget about the over tributes. Peeta lets out a small "thank you." And then goes back to his seat. Forgetting the crowd, I stand up for a second and hug him, burying my head in his neck and then we sit down. Our embrace was shown on the cameras, the citizens of the Capitol are sobbing for us. The anthem is played. The cameras stay on us, the tragic lovers from district 12.

It's just me and Peeta in the elevator. The crowds are holding the others back. We wait in silent, not knowing what to say. Nothing can be said, nothing that can fix this or make things work. The doors open and I hug Peeta for a second, whispering in his ear. "Please, wait for me tomorrow. Promise me you won't leave me." I can't let him out of my sight, he needs to stay with me if I'm going to keep him alive. I don't want to go looking for him, wondering if every cannon is him.

"I won't. I promise." He says, holding me closer. We stand like that, embracing, my head on his shoulder and his hand running along my back, then playing with the strands of my hair that have fallen free. It's only when the ping of the elevator comes that we separate.

Effie, Haymitch, Cinna and Portia are standing in silence, watching us. I'm shocked to see that Effie's eyes are red, was she crying? General looks of sympathy flash on their faces.

"Oh, my two pearls!" Effie cries. "How the Capitol adore you."

"Yes, you've already got sponsors lining up." Haymitch says, nodding his head in approval.

No one seems to know what to say. The turn of events have left a sadness amongst us and I hate it. This is why I didn't want anyone to know, I didn't want any of this, I just wanted to save Peeta. Now I feel bad knowing how Peeta feels, knowing that he will have to go on living with my death, just like how I couldn't imagine surviving without him. I hate this. I hate the Capitol. I hate the Hunger Games.

"I'm going to bed." I say and walk down the hallway. When I know no one follows me, I let the tears fall. Joining the Capitol and their cries for the forbidden love in district 12. I close the door behind me, letting all the anger and emotions free from its cage. A lamp is thrown across the room. This time it isn't Peeta who cleans up the mess, but the read-headed Avox girl comes in and helps me. Seeing her adds to the guilt.

"I should have tried to save you," I whisper.

She shakes her head, concentrating on picking up the small pieces of the lamp that smashed. Her hands are shaking.

"No, it was wrong." I say. She taps her lips to her fingers and the points to my chest. I think she's telling me that I would have become an Avox, too. Probably that or dead. Instead of Peeta tucking me in, she does. It's a strange thing to do but I smile my thanks. She leaves after that.

I can't sleep. I'm too overwhelmed and anxious about tomorrow. My time is slipping through my fingers like sand. Prim flashes through my mind, I wonder how she reacted to the interview. Is she crying that she knows I won't try to win? Or is she tossing in her sleep worried about me? I never wanted to hurt her – always wanted to protect her, but I know with Gale and the others in district 12, she will be safe. I'm sure Peeta will go home and check on her for me.

I then feel bad for leaving so suddenly. I didn't say goodbye to Effie or Haymitch, didn't thank them for all the work they did. Instead I was to wound up in my feelings to realize that this was the end. It's too late now, dinner would be finished and everyone would be heading to bed. Instead I decide to write a few notes for them, thanking them, and telling Haymitch to save Peeta. I leave them on the dining room table, telling an Avox they're there for them. He nods his head, a promise that they will get them.

Haymitch comes in, a bottle in his hand. "What are you still doing up?" He asks.

"I couldn't sleep and I never got to say goodbye." I say.

"So you left love notes? Shouldn't you be leaving those for Peeta?" He questions.

"I could always rip yours up." I tell him.

"I'll make sure Effie gets hers." He tells me.

"Thank you."

"Katniss, I am sorry. But I promise I'll keep him alive." He says.

"Thank you." I whisper. I know he will keep that promise.

"I know it's going to be hard for you and him. But let the audience see." He tells me, meaning we need to show more of our feelings towards each other.

"I hate this." I whisper.

"You and I both." He takes a sip of his bottle, turning to leave the room. "Katniss, one last thing. I told Peeta this, too. Stay alive." He wobbles out of the room and I hope he is sober enough tomorrow to deal with all our sponsors.

I don't want to go back to bed. I don't want to give in to my thoughts and nightmares. The stars and the moon are calling for me. Just one last night under them, without the threat of anyone hunting me. The roof is cold, I'm glad I brought a jacket out with me this time. Chaos surrounds the city, cars honking, people screaming and cheering. Somewhere I hear my name being called. Peeta is standing out by the edge of the roof, the moon illuminating him and the city surrounding him. I stop for a second to admire him, how calm and peaceful he looks when tomorrow is close. He has been trying to sleep as his hair is a mess, making me want to run my hand through it.

My bare feet move soundlessly across the tiles, each step is icy cold. "You should be getting some sleep." I tell him.

He starts, not noticing me behind him, shaking his head slightly. "I didn't want to miss the party. It's for us, after all," he says.

I stand next to him, looking bellow to where the tiny people in bright costumes dance in the dark night. "Are they in costumes?"

"Who could tell?" Peeta answers. "With all the crazy clothes they wear here. Couldn't sleep, either?"

"Couldn't turn my mind of," I say.

"Thinking about your family?" He asks.

"Yes. And tomorrow. And… you." I say. He knows, so there isn't much point hiding it. We both know there's no point in anything.

"Thinking of your grand way to save me?" he asks. "I know, Katniss. You'd do anything to protect the people you love. You volunteered for your sister. But don't you think I want to save you, as well?"

"It has to be you," I say.

"Were see." He says.

"Peeta…" I groan. I defiantly didn't want this to happen.

"No. If anyone deserves to walk away from this, it's you, Katniss." He pleads.

"Don't." I tell him and rest my head on his shoulder again. We look out, watching the city.

"I've never been a contender in these Games anyway." He says and hesitates before putting his arm around me. This is our last time of privacy, just the two of us, before the Games begin and he goes home without me.

"That's no way to be thinking," I tell him. Resting my forehead against his neck.

"Why not? It's true. My best hope is not to disgrace myself and…" he hesitates, knowing I don't want to hear those words from his mouth. He isn't going to die. I won't allow it.

"Don't." I warn him.

"I want to die myself, Katniss." He turns his head, to rest his forehead against the top of my head. His breath is hot on my face. "Does that makes sense?" I don't answer, I don't want to talk about this. He continues. "I don't want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster I'm not."

He tugs at my heart. "Do you mean you won't kill anyone?" I ask.

"No, when the time comes I'm sure I'll kill just like anyone else. I can't go down without a fight. Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to… to show the Capitol they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their games." Says Peeta.

"But you're not." I say. "None of us are. That's how the Games work."

"OK, but within that framework, there's still you, there's still me," he insists, "don't you see?"

"A little. But stop." I tell him. I bury face into his neck, wishing he wouldn't lose hope in his survival – wishing that he would allow me to save him, but I understand why he doesn't because he is doing exactly what I am doing. And I know that I am going to go in pain, knowing that we both know there is no future for us, but creating our romance to help each other win, but only one of us can win. And I hate how the audience are going to be watching us – wanting to see our love story. Just so we can get sponsors.

"You will go home, be with your family and your friend." He tells me.

I pull back, looking up at him. "No. I won't let you die." I tell him.

"Do you think I can let you die?" He asks, getting frustrated now. I kiss him. I forget everything for a second and just bring him down to me. He doesn't resist and we're a hot mess. My hands find their way in his hair and his hands pull me closer. This is our first kiss, this is our goodbye kiss before the cameras turn up. And it is burning. The pain of the guilt, burns. The pain of the future we will never have, burns. And how he has given up, burns.

"You know what I hate most of all, other than your stubbornness to dying?" He questions me, putting his forehead against mine. We're both panting, the fire taking the oxygen away from us.

"What?" I ask him.

"How out of thousands of slips it had to be your sister's name and mine." He says.

"The odds were never in our favour," I say and he sighs in agreement.

"You should get some sleep," he tells me, kissing the top of my head.

"Will you stay with me?" I ask. I don't want to be alone to deal with all my thoughts.

He nods his head. Together we go down to my room, quietly, not waking anyone up or having Haymitch find us. He lays down on my bed and I lay in his arms, like two perfect matching puzzle pieces. We're silent, staring in the darkness with the warmth of our bodies pressed together. He plays with my hair, soothing me to a dreamless sleep.

Peeta gently places me on the mattress below him, bringing the covers up over me. I don't open my eyes because I can't deal with the thought of saying goodbye, knowing the next time we will see each other will be in the arena. Instead I pretend I'm still asleep. "I'll see you soon," he whispers and kisses the top of my head, gently tracing his fingers across my cheek. He leaves, closing the door quietly behind him.

Cinna comes for me in the morning, preparing me with an outfit and then we make our way to the roof. I take one last look around the city – later the streets will be full with cheers as the tributes kill each other off. A hovercraft appears, reminding me of the one that captured the redheaded girl, and a ladder appears. I place my hands and feet on the lower rungs, and then I am frozen. I'm lifted up, stuck in place with some sort of glue. Caring about our safety, again.

When I'm on the hovercraft a women appears in a white coat and a syringe in her hand. "This is just your tracker, Katniss. The stiller you are, the more efficiently I can place it." She says.

I can't move anyway. She breaks my skin with the needle, sending a sharp pain up my arm. The tracker is placed deep inside my arm. I'll be followed by the Gamemaker's now, they wouldn't want to lose a tribute.

The ladder realised me when the tracker is in place and then the women disappears. Cinna is then retrieved from the roof and an Avox boy directs us to a room, where breakfast is being served. My stomach is twisting with nerves, but I try to eat as much as I can. I eat while looking out of the window, envying the birds who are free. Soon, the windows black out, telling us we're near the arena. I wonder where we are. The hovercraft lands and Cinna and I are back on the ladder, being lead down into a tube underground. We are instructed where to go – to the launch room they call it. In District 12 we referred it as the stockyard, where animals go before slaughtered.

I shower and clean my teeth, ignoring how my breakfast threatens to come up. Cinna does my hair in my trademark braid going down my back and then the clothes arrive. He had no say in these outfits, these are provided to suit the arena we will be in. He helps me get dressed in the undergarments, simple tawny trousers, light green blouse, sturdy brown belt and thin, hooded black jacket that falls to my thighs. "The material in the jacket is designed to reflect body heat. Expect some cold nights." He says.

I then put skintight socks on, followed by the boots. The boots are made out of soft leather, with a narrow flexible rubber sole with threads, though. Good for running. I think I'm ready when Cinna pulls the gold Mockingjay pin from his pocket. I had completely forgotten about Madge's gift.

"Where did you get that?" I ask.

"Off the green outfit you wore on the train," he says, reminding me of when I pinned it to the green shirt. "It's your district token, right?" I nod and he pins it onto my shirt. "It barely cleared the review bored. Some thought the pin could be used as a weapon, giving you an unfair advantage. But eventually, they let it through," says Cinna. "They eliminated a ring from that District 1 girl, though. If you twisted the gemstone, a spike popped out. A poisoned one. She claimed she had no knowledge the ring transformed and there was no way to prove that she did. But she lost her token. There, you're all set. Move around. Make sure everything feels comfortable.

I move around, testing the outfit. "Yes, it's fine. Fits perfectly."

"Then there's nothing to do but wait for the call," says Cinna. "Unless you think you can eat anymore?"

I deny the food but accept a glass of water, taking small nervous sips as we wait on the couch. After, the nerves take over and I'm starting to gnaw on the inside of my cheek, trying to avoid biting my lip or nails. I don't want my terror to be obvious in the arena. I'm more nervous about Peeta. The terror of losing him in an hour, a day or a week scares me. I can't let that happen. I don't want him to see me die in a violent way, either. The thought of him having to cope with that for the rest of his life is horrible. My fingers circle the tracker, pressing on it until a small bruise appears.

"Do you want to talk, Katniss?" Cinna asks.

I shake my head and hold my hand out for him, he takes it in both hands. We sit in silence, the granules of sand getting slimmer as they fall through my hands. A women's voice announces it's time.

I'm still clutching Cinna's hand as we walk to the metal plate that will take me up to the arena. "Remember, run and then find water. The rest will follow," he says. I nod. "And remember this. I'm not allowed to bet, but if I could, my money would be on you."

"Truly?" I ask. He squeezes my hand gently, a sign that he knows that I don't plan on winning.

"Truly." He says, leaning down to kiss my forehead. "Good luck, girl on fire." A glass cylinder then slowly lowers around me, separating us. He taps a finger under his chin and I lift my head higher. The cylinder begins to rise, for a while I'm surrounded by darkness and then a bright light breaks through.

A strong wind blows past me and the hopeful smell of pine trees surrounds me. Claudius Templesmith's voice echoes around me. "Ladies and gentlemen, let the seventy-fourth Hunger Games begin!"

Sixty seconds. That's all we have until the gong realises us, if we step of anytime the landmines will go off. The cornucopia is in the middle, surrounded by weapons and supplies that will keep us alive. Right in front of me is my bow and arrows. Haymitch's instructions are replaying and I know, if I get those bow and arrows then I can truly save Peeta. I know where I have to run, now I search for Peeta. He's about five tributes to my right and he's watching me. He knows what I'm thinking. I'm fast enough, I can get my bow and then clear out, get him and then run. The chances of keeping him alive will be a lot higher. I think he might be shaking his head, but I can't see because of the sun. I squint harder and then the gong goes off. I've missed my chance.

Those lost seconds have cost me my chance of getting any weapons. If I go for them now then I am surely dead and then Peeta. My feet shuffle for a moment, to Peeta or to get something for us. I lunge forward, picking up a plastic sheet and a loaf of bread. Anything can help us. I'm angry at him as he's slimmed the chances, but there's still hope. I sprint twenty meters picking up the orange backpack and then I turn to where Peeta is waiting, anxiously. He's looking around him, while watching me and then I hear him shout my name.

I turn to see the boy from District 9 is behind me. But then he coughs, blood splattering in front of him. He drops to the ground, a knife sticking out of his back. The other tributes had made it to the cornucopia and are now spreading out to attack. We have to get out of here. The girl from District 2 is running towards me, clutching a half-dozen knives. I've seen her in training and she never misses. I'm her next target.

"Run!" I shout at Peeta. Hoping he will get the message and leave without me, before she kills both me and him. His eyes widen and I can hear the blade whistling towards me. I don't want him to see this. I pull the back pack up, protecting my head, and the knife lodges in the back. As I run, I pull both straps onto my shoulders and then take Peeta's hand, running into the woods.

I look back, seeing Peeta's red face and then the battle that goes on behind us. She's not chasing me anymore, but has gone onto another victim. Several already lie dead on the ground, others are still fighting. Those who fled would be running deep into the woods. We run for a while, before slowing down to a jog and then drifting between jogging and walking.

I walk next to Peeta, putting the loaf of bread in the back pack and then folding the plastic sheet up to fit in my pocket. I may not have my bow, but we have something. At least the girl supplied me with a long thick blade of a knife, I slide that into my belt.

Peeta is getting tired, he isn't used to long days of walking and hiking through woods. We stop, resting and we go through the back pack. One thick black sleeping bag that reflects body heat, a pack of crackers, a pack of dried beef strips, a bottle of iodine, a box of wooden matches, a small coil of wire, a pair of sunglasses and a two litre plastic water bottle with a cap for carrying water that's bone dry.

No water. Already my throat has started to gone dry and my lips have started to crack. I can see Peeta's the same. We need to find water soon. I just hope the lake at the cornucopia wasn't the only source. That will draw us all back for a fight. The careers are probably already set up on guarding it. We just need to keep going in search for another source. It's coming up to afternoon, if we keep heading out we could find water before finding somewhere for the night.

"You shouldn't have gone out there," Peeta says after we put everything back into the back pack. I need to camouflage it soon, the bright orange stands out.

"I could have gotten the bow and arrows if you hadn't distracted me." I tell him. I'm still angry with him but I understand why he didn't want me to risk it.

"You could have died." He whispered, his voice full of pain.

"But I didn't." We're alive with supplies that will keep us alive for now if we don't find water.

He shakes his head and I can see he is angry with me as well, for risking my life. I kiss his cheek, gaining a smile from him. The Capitol must be loving this. "Don't be mad. This will help us." I tell him.

"Then don't risk doing that again." He tells me.

I don't promise anything, or say that I won't because we both know I will. "Come on. Let's keep going and find some water." I offer my hand, which he takes and then we carry on walking.

The ground starts to slope down. I don't like this, I would rather be up high where I can see my enemies. But we keep going. Rabbits have started to appear, something that we can eat. If there's rabbits around, then there has to be water nearby, as well.

We're probably on screen right now, the star-crossed lovers holding hands in hope to save each other. I just hope if we go any longer without water, then someone would sponsor us some.

Its late afternoon when the cannons begin, each shot for each fallen tribute. That means the surviving tributes from the cornucopia have left and will likely be tracking us down now. We stop, counting the sound of each cannon. Eleven. Thirteen of us left. Eleven more to die and then I can go happily, knowing Peeta won. Out of all of them, I know the boy from District 9 is dead and I wonder who else has joined him.

Twilight is closing in and we're starting to get tired and hungry – as well as thirsty. We walk another hour before we start to look for a place to camp. I think about up in the trees but I don't think the branches will take his weight. At the moment, it's our best chance.

Night creatures have started to come out, a sign that other animals will be hunting the rabbits and perhaps us as well. I'm more worried about the tributes then the animals that lurk in these woods.

Peeta watches as I set up a few snares in the bushes, using the wire. I know it's risky to be setting snares when tributes could be hunting during the night, but it's the only way for us to get food at the moment and I can't set snares while on the run.

I pick a willow tree for us to rest. The branches are quite thick, sturdy enough to hold Peeta's weight if he's careful. It offers us concealment, in those long flowery tresses. I turn to look and Peeta and see he's watching me, curiously. "Up we go." I tell him.

"I don't think it will hold my weight." He says.

"As you climb, try to be light on your feet. And go for the thicker, sturdier looking branches." I say.

"Alright." He says and then takes a step onto the first branch, pulling himself up. He goes slowly, only putting a small amount of pressure on each branch. I follow behind him, looking at the branches that would do well for us.

"Wait." I tell him and point to the long, thick, sturdy looking fork on his right side. It will hold and fit both of us. He climbs onto the branch and looks down, we're not too high up but we will only be seen if you look up. I climb onto the branch with him, arranging the sleeping bag in a comfortable manner. "Get in."

"You're getting in as well, right?" He asks me.

"Yes." I say, rolling my eyes but I'm blushing slightly.

He gets in first and I follow in next to him. I open the flap of the back pack, pulling a quarter of the bread from the loaf and then push the back pack down to the bottom of the sleeping bag. I tear the quarter of the bread in half and hand a piece over to Peeta. "Thank you," he says.

Before I eat, I take my belt of and loop it around the branch and us, securing us to the tree in case we roll over. We eat the bread and then I pull my hood up, snuggling down next to Peeta. The temperature has started to drop.

"I bet you're glad I took the risk now." I tell him.

"Risking your life? No. But I'm glad you managed to get the sleeping bag, it's warm and I'm closer to you." He says. I smack his chest lightly, but I am smiling and blushing.

The anthem begins to play and the Capitol seal lights up in the night sky. Photographs of the fallen tributes appear with their district number. First to appear is the girl from 3, meaning all the career tributes from 1 to 2 have survived. The boy from district 4, then the boy from district 5. Both boys and girls from districts 6 and 7. The boy from 8. Both from 9, the boy who died in front of me. And then the girl from district 10. It finished with the anthem and then everything goes dark again. I let out a relieved sigh that Rue is still alive.

Peeta wraps his arms tighter around me, "we need to sleep." He says. I put my hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat underneath.

"We do." I agree.

He's quiet for a moment. "Can I ask you a question first?"

"OK." I say, looking up at him.

"When did you start to like me?" He asks and I can't help but laugh. We're out shivering and fighting for our lives, while desperate for water, and he wants to know when I started liking him? "What?"

I shake my head. "You really want to know?" I ask. I know the audience are all tuning in now, wanting to know. I wish we had privacy, I don't want any of them to know. They have no right.

"I do." He says, rubbing his nose in my hair.

"It was when you gave me the bread," I tell him. "Your kindness saved me and my family. It gave me hope that we could go on, that we didn't have to starve."

"Good," he says and kisses the top of my head.

"What about you?" I ask, curiously.

"It was the first day of school. We were five. You had on a red plaid dress and your hair was in two braids instead of one. My father pointed you out when we were waiting to line up." He says.

"Your father? Why?" I ask.

"He said, 'see that girl? I wanted to marry her mother but she ran of with a coal miner,'" says Peeta.

"What? You're making that up!" I exclaim.

"No, true story," Peeta says, "and I said, 'A coal miner? Why did she want a coal miner when she could've had you?' and he said, 'because when he sings… even the birds stop to listen.'"

"That's true. They do. I mean, they did," I say. It surprises me how Peeta's father had even spoken about me and the feelings he had for my mother.

"So that day, in music, the teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot right up in the air. She stood you up on a stool and had you sing it for us. And I swear, every bird outside the windows fell silent." He says.

"Oh, please," I say, laughing.

"No, it happened. And right when your song ended, I knew – just like your mother – I was a gonner," Peeta says. "Then for the next eleven years, I tried to work up the nerve to talk to you."

"Without success," I add, with a small sigh. If he had spoken to me, would things have turned out different?

"You didn't have much success, either," he points out, "but, in a way, my name being pulled out of the reaping was a piece of luck. Luck and a burden for us." He says.

I can't help but smile at how he remembers all those details. How he sees being pulled out of the reaping as luck to being with me. We have been brought together by the Games to only be ripped a part. I kiss him, lightly. We both know we have an audience, so we don't let it go out of control. Just a small, sweet kiss for us instead of them.

"Go to sleep," he tells me and I rest my head in the crook of his neck, spending the last of my time with him. My limited time spent with the guy I love.

He realises a sigh, kissing the top of my head one and then we settle down. I'm closing my eyes, ready for sleep to take over when there's a _snap_. _Snap, snap. _Our branch isn't snapping, we would have felt that. I look around, there's darkness for a second and then a spark of a fire appears. The fire grows bigger, illuminating the dark forest and a pair of hands warms over the flames. "Stupid person." I mutter to Peeta.

What are they thinking? Making a fire at night is risky and especially when the careers are out hunting the tributes. "They're just cold," Peeta says and we settle back down again.

"They're going to end up dead and bring danger right to us." I whisper. We lie low for a couple of hours, the fire still crackling behind us. It's more of a risk if we leave but either way we're still in danger – Peeta is still in danger. If I had my bow and arrow then I could kill whoever it is from her, but all I've got is a knife.

Peeta isn't asleep as he's playing with my hair, amusing himself while we wait for them to leave. We don't talk. I wish he would try to get some sleep, both of us don't have to be up to guard. Dawn is approaching and I think we – including the stupid person with the fire – may have gone unnoticed. Then I hear the six pairs of feet breaking into a run. The fire starter must have dozed off. It's a girl as she pleads with them and then her scream of pain, followed by silence. Someone cries out, "twelve down and eleven to go!" which then gets five other hoots of cheers.

I place a hand on Peeta's chest, telling him to be still and quiet. If we're seen then we're dead – both of us. The careers. They're fighting in a pack, which isn't surprising. They go round hunting the weak before turning on each other. They're checking her supplies and I wonder if it was Rue. No. Rue would have been smarter than that.

"Better clear out so they can get the body before it starts stinking." I'm certain that's the boy from District 2. The others murmur and then to my horror they're heading this way. A cannon goes off and a hovercraft soon appears, taking the girl away. They don't know were here but I'm worried. I push back against Peeta, trying to cover us by the tree as much as we can. He squeezed my hand. If they keep moving then they will pass us.

They stop just below our tree, flashlights and torches in their hands. I can see parts of them through the branches. We don't say anything. We don't move. We just hold hands.

"I want to find them soon." The boy from District 2, I think, says.

"They're probably cooped up in some hole together." A girl says, annoyance clearly in her voice.

"Better finding them both together. Alive. Let them watch each other die." Another one says.

"The poor love birds from District 12." Someone mocks.

I almost fall out of the tree. They're hunting for us.

**(A/N): I appologize if Peeta climbing the tree wasn't very realistic, but it was a Willow and I am no tree expert. Hope you liked the chapter. So Everlark are getting cosy together. Please do tell me what you think. This was the last long chapter for the time being and I think the next one will be up on Wednesday. I'm now going to go see Mockingjay part 1 again, wooo!  
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**Teaser: I've started planing ahead into catching fire and I am so excited with the ideas I have and the slight changes in the plot. **


	8. Water and fire

**(A/N): Here is the next chapter. I hope you like all the cute Everlark moments. This one has ended up longer then planned as its two chapters together again. **

Chapter 8: Water and fire.

They left soon after that. They didn't see us and I would hate to think of the time when they would find us. We have to avoid them as long as we can, but with them now hunting us gave an interesting new twist for the Gamemakers. One way or another they will eventually find us. We sit in silence for a while, watching as dawn approaches. Then I undo my belt, putting it back on and Peeta starts to climb down while I roll up the sleeping bag and put it back in.

"Where to?" Peeta asks, giving me a smile and I wonder how he can smile when they're hunting us. Still, I force a smile because I know the audience are watching, wanting to know how we take the news.

"First, I'm going to check the snares and then we're going to head the opposite direction to the careers." I say.

"After you, then." He says and I walk past him, smiling, and check on the snares that I hid in the bush. I want to be quick, wanting to get far away from the careers as I can. The snares caught a rabbit, I clean and gutted the animal, leaving everything a part from the innards on a pile of leaves. I don't really want to eat the rabbit raw, but starting a fire is too risky. Then I think of the dead tributes fire. I hurry over, finding that the coals are still hot.

"What are you doing?" Peeta asks.

"Cooking us breakfast," I say. He watches as I cut the rabbit up into strips, leaving them to cook on the hot coals. I hope the sponsors sees this, that I can hunt and give us something because of it.

"Do you want something to do?" I ask Peeta, I can see he hates being helpless.

"Yeah." He says.

I pick up a charred stick and hand him it and the backpack. "Grind this up and rub it on the orange,"

While I cook, he camouflages the bag. If we could find water then it would be easier to cover the bag, mixing it up with mud, but right now charred stick is all we have. We then clear out after, heading out the opposite direction, while eating the rabbit. I wrap the leftovers up in the plastic. We have to find water.

We hike along, standing close to each other but not holding hands. We both know the cameras are on us. I wonder how the Capitol are handling our love story, are they handling it enough to at least give us water to continue? I hate how our feelings are being displayed for their entertainment.

The sun is rising high and we are both weakening from no water. "Here," I say to Peeta, handing him some of the rabbit, "Rub the grease on your lips." I tell him. I do the same, trying to give my lips some moisture. But it's no use, we're both panting and are getting dehydrated, fast.

"Want a kiss?" Peeta asks, moving in to kiss me and I pull away. He laughs.

"Not with those greasy lips, I don't." I say.

Water runs downhill, so I know going down the valley isn't a bad thing. But I can't find any game or green vegetation around, nothing that will help me. We're heading for trouble. My tongue is dry, my head aches and I have little urine. I know the same is for Peeta. The sun hurts my eyes and I dig out the sunglasses, but find they do something funny to my vision. Peeta tries them on and he thinks the same, so we put them back in the bag.

"Peeta, look!" I say, around mid-afternoon. I pull him over to where a bush of berries sit and hurry to strip them of, wanting to squash the juiciness between my teeth. I'm holding them to my lips, but I stop, "Wait!" I tell Peeta, stopping him from putting the berries in his mouth. What I thought were blueberries have a different shape, and when I break the skin under my finger, the insides are blood red. I don't recognise them. They could be edible, but every instinct is telling me they're poisonous. This could be a trick from the Gamemakers, they know we're thirsty, desperate for water.

"Poisonous?" Peeta questions.

"I think so," I say, dropping the berries to the ground.

"I'm sure were find water soon," Peeta says, wrapping an arm around me.

"Let's just keep moving," I say, taking his hand this time. We're going to need each others support soon. Fatigue is beginning to settle on us. Peeta more than me. We have to rest frequently, using each other to lean on – to keep going. I decide to climb a tree, Peeta doesn't want me to as I'm shaking, but I do it. I can't see any source of water. Could this really be how I die? Going out that easily and _Peeta. _How can I stand a chance of saving him if I can't find the one thing he needs the most?

We are determined to keep going until night fall. Our arms holding each other up, leaning on each other as we try to catch our breath. Could we really be dying in each others arms? But when night falls, we find no water and I know Peeta won't be able to climb up a tree.

"Were going to have to hide and take watches," I say, looking around for some place to camp and hide. I find a bush, which is just big enough for us if we lay down. You can only just see out, but if anyone was going to come by they shouldn't be able to see us.

"You sleep. I'll take the first watch," Peeta says.

"No. I'll wake you up in a few hours. I promise." I tell him, laying out the sleeping bag. We get in and eat what's left of the bread, I give us some bones to suck on just for our mouths to do something. Night has fallen and the anthem plays, showing the girl that the careers killed, who is apparently from District 8.

"Sleep," I tell Peeta.

"Not until you've slept." He says and I glare at him.

"Sleep or I won't let you kiss me." I threaten and that seems to get him settled down. I can imagine the Capitol laughing, going crazy.

"Only for a few hours then," he says.

"I promise," I tell him. He rests his head on my lap, watching me. I kiss the top of his forehead, running my hands through his hair as he slowly drifts of to sleep. He looks peaceful, his eyes closed, flickering with dreams. I gently stroke his cheeks, feeling the smoothness of his skin and then the softness of his hair. _I love you,_ I think, wanting to tell him those words so badly but there's no point when those words can't give us anything. We only have these few moments and they're spent in front of an audience.

I sit watching him for ages, occasionally looking around to check if it's clear, but I don't disturb him. The career pack won't be near here, they went the other way but others could still lurk nearby. It's gone past midnight and I can feel my eyes closing. I gently shake Peeta, he's slept more than a few hours but I need my rest to be able to protect him.

"Katniss, that was more than a few hours," He says in a sleepy voice.

"You looked to peaceful," I say.

"I'm taking the first watch tomorrow, then. Now go to sleep." He tells me, sitting up and then pulls me down to lay on his chest. _Tomorrow _that's if there is one for us or if I'm still alive. I snuggle in, closing my eyes to the melody of his heartbeat.

Morning light wakes me up. The light causing my head to throb. Pins and needles shot through my arms and legs, a groan escaping from my lips. Everything is foggy. We have to get water soon or we're going to die. I think about the lake, but were never make it back. No hope of rain when there's not a cloud in the sky. Our only chance is to keep going. Wait.

Haymitch! He could send us water! He has too! With our love on show, he'll have to have sponsors lining up. They would want us to live, to see more of our love. I sit up straight, Peeta rises with me, raising his eyebrows. The leaves and twigs from the bush tangle in our hair, scraping our faces. "Water." I say loud and clear.

"Were keep looking," Peeta says, squeezing my hand.

I listen, waiting for a parachute to come, but there's nothing. Why? I know we have sponsors, out of all the Capitol citizens who cried, cheered or called for us and not one of them will sponsor us? I don't believe it. Haymitch is refusing. We made a deal to keep Peeta alive, I know he would send us water but why isn't he? I know he wouldn't go back on his word and he promised to help us, anyway.

"Katniss?" Peeta questions, turning my head round to look at him. What is Haymitch doing? Is he sending a message? Then I know. We've almost found it. That's why he's holding back.

"Were almost there." I tell him.

"How do you know?" He asks.

"I just do," I say and then I'm getting up. Peeta helps me wrap the sleeping bag up and then we're moving. I know we can find the water. We have too. It's hard to move, even with Peeta supporting me and me supporting him. We hold hands, squeezing each other to give each other a push to keep going.

Anyone could kill us right now. We're weak and an easy target. But we're alone a part from the cameras that are following us. I think of Prim, seeing the updates through school and I try to not look desperate for her. I don't want her to see me suffer.

We're shaking and stumbling by afternoon. And when I slip, I fall to the ground, bringing Peeta down with me. I can't get up and I know I've failed in keeping Peeta alive. We're going to die here, together. My fingers move, sliding in the mud, in hope to reach Peeta. If I'm going to die then I want to die in his arms. Mud! I gasp, digging my fingers into the ground.

"Peeta!" I shout and he makes a noise in response. "It's mud!"

I take a deep breath, taking in the smell of pond lilies. My body shakes with desperation and relief. "Peeta, come on." I tell him and start to crawl. We were five metres away from the pond lilies. Five meters away from the water.

I'm desperate to plunge my face into the water, to drink until I'm sick. But I resist and so does Peeta. With trembling hands I pull out the flask and fill it with water. I add the required amount of drops of iodine for purifying. The half an hour wait is agony. Peeta and I both lean on each other, waiting. After what I believe was half an hour, I take a sip and then hand it to Peeta. We take careful sips until the flask is empty. Two more flask full after that. I prepare another two as twilight begins to set.

"Are we climbing tonight?" Peeta asks.

I look up to the trees, all thing branches and not big enough to fit the both of us. Around us there isn't big enough bushes to camp in. Instead we camp in-between the trees and the pond lilies, giving us some cover. We snuggle down into the sleeping bag. Tomorrow were stay here, resting, gathering roots from the ground, catching fish and drinking water.

Peeta kisses me, I can feel the hunger and the heat in it. "Now go to sleep," He tells me.

"That was a goodnight kiss?" I questioned.

"I haven't been able to kiss you all day," He complains as I roll my eyes. He sounds more upset about that then the fact we was dying.

"You know, I don't think my mum would be approving right now," I tell him, hoping that gives the audience something, maybe a few extra sponsors.

"I'm sorry Mrs Everdeen, but I can't help it," Peeta gives a dazzling smile for the cameras and I hit his chest lightly, laughing. He kisses me again, a sweeter kiss this time. "Go to sleep." It's this time that I lay in the crook of his arm, as he stokes my cheek, soothing me to sleep.

Peeta shakes me, "Katniss get up!" I'm up and throwing my arms across Peeta, protecting him. That's when I turn to see the wall of fire descending towards us.

We both get out of the sleeping bag, Peeta grabbing it while I grab the back pack, which I fortunately put the water and food in. The world around us has gone from green and browns to oranges, reds and black. Peeta is rolling up the sleeping bag as we run. I lead us in between the falling burnt branches and away from the flames that are descending upon us. I follow where the animals run.

The heat is horrible and the smoke finds itself in me, making me choke. My face stings from the heat and the cuts branches have made. Peeta's hand finds mine and we run together, both choking and sweating, clutching to our small belongings. I know this is no tributes campfire. The flames have reached an unnatural height, telling me that this was created by the Gamemakers. Perhaps our love story wasn't enough entertainment to keep the audience engaged. Don't want the games to be boring. They're doing this to hurdle us all together, in hope for a fight and deaths.

Peeta lets go of my hand and we both jump over a burning log. He gets across fine, but the tail of my jacket catches the fire. I stop, ripping it from my body and stamping it out under my foot. Peeta takes my jacket, shoving it into the sleeping bag and then we're running again.

After a few minutes we stop, choking and clasping our chests in need to remove the discomfort from our lungs. I start coughing, leaning over and vomiting until there's nothing left to come up. I look up to see Peeta is in the same state. We have a teaspoon of water to wash our mouths and then we take a few sips. I'm trembling and the fire is nearing us again. I put the sleeping bag back into the back pack, taking deep breaths to calm my lungs down.

I look around, knowing we haven't been to this part of the woods before. Where are the Gamemakers directing us? Back to the lake or to the careers? We had just a few hours of peace, of water and then they take it from us! I look round, ready to go and then a fire ball comes hurling at us. "Peeta!" I shot and he ducks just in time. It explodes in the rocks behind him.

The audience really must be enjoying this if they're now attacking us. I hear a hiss and flatten myself to the ground and it hits a tree behind me. "Are you alright?" Peeta asks, helping me up. I'm barely up when the third is thrown at us. We both start running.

I can't see where they're being fired from and I defiantly know it isn't a hovercraft. A Gamemaker sits pressing buttons, triggers that could end my life and Peeta's in any moment. We zig zag, dive and leap from fireballs. They're only the size of an apple but contain a high amount of power. After watching the Hunger Games from the past I follow my instincts, knowing that this only has to be a trap for a certain part of the woods. We could escape this.

We've been running for ages, the fireballs coming slower and slower, but we don't dare stop. My throat burns and I start to retch again, my body wanting to get ready of the poisons I've inhaled. No more hisses or fireballs come. Tears sting my eyes and my shirt is wet with sweat. Peeta reaches for my hair, pulling back about fifteen center meters that has been seared of. His eyes widen and I see my hair crumble under his fingers. That's when I hear the next hiss.

I push Peeta out of the way and he hits the ground. The fireball crashes into the ground after skidding across my calf. Seeing my trouser leg on fire sends me over the edge. I fall to the ground shrieking. "Katniss! Roll!" Peeta shouts and I do what he says. The fire goes out as I roll it back and forth. Without thinking, I rip the material away with my hands.

Peeta's hands grab my wrists as I drop the material. My calf is screaming, my hands are covered in red welts and I am trying to hold back the tears. I'm shaking and I can't move. The attack seems to be over and now Peeta wipes the tears away before anyone can see. "It's alright," He whispers.

"I really am the girl who was on fire," I mutter and Peeta laughs quietly. The Gamemakers must be having a real laugh at this, killing me of how I was presented. I realise the attacks have stopped and that could only mean one thing. A tribute is nearby. "We need to go."

"Not until we sort your leg and hands out," Peeta says, moving down to look at my calf.

"No. Someone is close," I say and Peeta's eyes widen in realisation.

He helps me up, keeping an arm wrapped around my waist as he helps me walk. Even with Peeta's weight supporting me, my calf still screams with every step. The wall of fire stays behind us, only the black cloud following us. Daylight has started to appear. I wish Peeta would leave me and run but I know he wouldn't. I have to clench my teeth to stop myself from crying out. I hate burns. I always have. Even burns from a pan of bread from an oven. It is the worst kind of pain.

Peeta lowers me down into a pool, I didn't even know we was here until the wetness draws the heat from my calf and hands. I close my eyes at the relief. I rest my head on Peeta's shoulder and let him wash the ash away from me. What would my mother do? I know she would say for minor burns – like my hands – to put them in cold water, which I am. But what about my leg? I haven't seen how bad it is and I don't want to, but the water helps calm it down a bit.

Peeta wipes the blood from my face and then takes my hands in his. He brings them out of the water, the sting returning. I can see the flames of my nails from the interviews starting to chip. Peeta checks them over, being careful of the tender skin that had started to blister. After he helps me sit out of the water a bit, leaving my calf still in the water.

I remembered when a family once brought a young man to my mother, begging for her to help him. The district doctor had written him of, telling his family to take him home to die. They wouldn't accept that. I got a glimpse of him on our kitchen table, seeing the burned charred flesh right down to the bone. I ran, staying away from the house all day while Prim stayed to help. They tried their best but the man died, just like the doctor said.

It's Peeta that looks at my leg. I force myself to take deep calm breaths as I know the cameras are on me. Pity does not get your sponsors. Peeta gets the knife out of the bag and then cuts away the material from around the burn, allowing me to see it clearly. My leg is a bright red covered with blisters. The skin isn't black and I'm relieved I don't see bone. I know there are herbs that could speed the healing, if I could find them and remember them. Water and time is probably the only thing we have.

"It's not too bad," Peeta says giving me an encouraging smile. "Just keep it in the water."

"Just for a minute," I say putting my hands back in the water.

"No. Your leg needs to heal, Katniss." He says. I watch as he washes the ash and blood from himself, a part of me wishing I could do it for him but with my hands it's best to leave them in the water. He sees me watching and smiles, causing me to blush. If the cameras are on us now, then I have just embarrassed myself across Panem.

I look up, seeing that the smoke is starting to clear giving the sky a healthier look. I know we should keep going but I'm not sure what way. To walk back towards the fire or to go the direction the careers were in. I go to sort our gear out but Peeta ends up doing it, telling me to leave my hands in the water. I groan but do as I'm told. He fills up the bottle, treats it, and then we wait.

I go to take the bottle for a sip but Peeta shakes his head. "I'll do it."

"Peeta!" I snap.

"No, keep your hands in the water." He says and then puts the bottle of water to my lips, allowing me to take a sip. I glare at him after and he laughs.

He then gets out the crackers, "You're not feeding me." I say.

"Let me see your hands first," he says and then I pull them out of the water to show him. They're still red, blisters still covered the areas but they were better than before. "Fine." He hands me a cracker.

Peeta holds up my stinking and scorched jacket, at least thirty center meters of the back is beyond repair. He cuts of the damaged areas. "You can have mine," Peeta says.

"No!" I tell him, taking back my ruined jacket. I put it on and it now comes up to my ribs, but the hood is still attached. It's better than nothing.

Besides the pain, drowsiness has taken over and I know I'm going to need to rest soon. We would be too easy to spot in the trees and I don't want to leave the pool. I look round and decide to make a little meal for Peeta and I out of the leftover rabbit and edible roots from the water plants. We eat, drink and watch the sun slowly make its way across the sky.

Nothing could be safer than here. The careers are probably nowhere nearby. This time it's me that puts my head on Peeta's lap, letting him stroke soothing circles on my cheeks and play with my hair. "I love you, Katniss." He whispers as my eyes close.

Peeta shakes me and he doesn't need to say anything. I hear their foot prints not even a minute away. I put the bag on my shoulders and we move before even thinking where to go. If they find us I have to save Peeta. He has to get out of here alive. It's evening, I've slept for a few hours.

We run through the pool and into the woods behind that. My leg slows me down and Peeta pulls me along next to him. They aren't at their finest either. I can hear their coughs, their raspy voices coming closer and closer.

We come across a high tree, it's the only chance we have. "Go!" Peeta whispers, pushing me to go up the tree first.

"You first," I say.

"Just go, Katniss!" Peeta says and then I go. I'm not going to have this argument with him because I know it will waste time. Instead, I move up the tree fast, allowing Peeta to follow easily behind. It's agonizing, the pain in my calf and my hands on the bark but I keep going. I look down to see that the careers have just made it to the base and Peeta isn't even half way up.

"Come on, Peeta." I whisper, my voice straining.

They look up, grinning and snarling at us. Behind the smiles they look pretty beat up like us, but my main focus is the weapons they carry. They're bigger and stronger than I am, but also heavier. They won't be able to climb up here.

"Remember what I told you, Peeta?" I call down to him, urging him to follow my advice. He nods and seems to move faster, which is still very slow. He misses a branch but still keeps his grip on the tree. "How's everything with you?" I call down to the careers, distracting them from Peeta.

They wasn't expecting that and I know the audience must be loving this.

"Well enough," the boy from District 2 says, "Yourself?"

"It's been a bit warm for my taste," I say and imagine the Capitol's laughter.

"What's it like up there?" He asks.

"The airs better up here." I say, trying to look confident but I know what's coming.

"Really? I think I'll come up then." Says the same boy and I look down at Peeta, pleading that he would go faster. He misses a few branches and a few snap, but he keeps going up. Going way to slow for my liking and I have no way to distract them from climbing the tree.

"Here, take this, Cato," says the girl from District 1 and she offers him the silver bow and arrows. My bow! My arrows! I'm angry at them for taking my weapon. That weapon that I was supposed to use to protect Peeta from moments like these! He avoids my gaze, polishing his knife on his shirt.

"No," Cato says, pushing the bow away. "I'll do better with my sword." My eyes go down to the metal that gleams by his belt.

Cato hoists himself in the tree and starts to climb. Peeta looks up at me, a pleading in his eyes for me to carry on but I can't. I nod my head, he can do this. My leg screams as I hoist it back round, ready to go back down to get Peeta. To fight of Cato as much as I can while Peeta climbs.

I can see Cato is almost near Peeta and I hurry, racing down to him. No, no, no, no he can't get to Peeta. This was a stupid idea and now I've killed Peeta. Peeta hurries, "No!" I shout at him but it's too late. He's forgotten my words and he's put too much weight on the branch and it snaps. He tumbles to the ground, taking Cato down with him.

My hand flies to my mouth, covering the scream that wants to come. Peeta stands up, Cato is swearing and then they trap him. I watch as Cato gets over his anger and holds Peeta in his grip, stopping him from escaping.

"Don't kill him." I shout down. I know it's no use but I can't think of anything else to do to save him. My body is shaking again, the fear of losing him, him dying and me not being able to save him.

Cato laughs, the sound echoing around us and then the rest of them join in as well. "Why wouldn't I?" He asks.

"Because it's me you want to kill more, isn't it?" I ask.

"Let me." The girl from District 1 says and she tries to shoot me, clearly missing me. The arrow is lodged in a tree behind me. Cato holds Peeta in a headlock, one movement and he could snap his neck. My eyes find Peeta's, I know what he's trying to tell me and so I ignore him.

"Nice one, Glimmer." Cato growls. I almost laugh at her name, some of the names District 1 have are ridiculous. I look between them all, seeing they're all furious with me for being out of their reach, but they know they've got me.

"Why don't we give her till morning to come down or were kill the boy." The girl from District 2 says. I'm surprised she thinks that I'll fall for that, I know that if I go down then they will kill both of us. That's not going to save Peeta.

"Fine and if you run then you're dead." Cato tells Peeta and then throws him to the floor.

I climb up to the nearest fork, laying out my sleeping bag for the night but I know I won't be sleeping. I belt myself onto the branch. The heat of the sleeping bag is too much for my leg and I have to cut a piece of the material to allow the cold air to get in. I drizzle water on my leg and hands, calming the burn down.

Then I look down to where Peeta is laying. They're all still awake, setting up their camp but Peeta doesn't move, if he does then he's dead. He gives me a small smile, as if to say 'It's alright if I die'. I shake my head and point to my head, telling him I'll think of something. He shakes his head and I glare at him before looking away. I won't allow him to die.

I push my hands through my hair, trying to think of something that I could do to save him. The odds aren't looking in my favor with no weapons or numbers to fight them with, but I have to do something. Peeta should have just left me when I got burnt. Then I start thinking about those last words he said to me, he said it so quietly so no one else could hear. I have to find some way to save him, even if it means handing myself over.

Annoyed, I look up and see possum's eyes through the trees. Only when I look closer, they aren't possum's eyes but those wide dark eyes that have been haunting me. She is watching me through the branches.

Rue.

How long has she been here? The whole time, probably. Hiding in the shadows, watching what's going on underneath her. Perhaps she's hiding in there from the careers like we tried to do.

For a while we hold each others gaze. Then, she silently puts her hand out in the open and points to something above my head.

**(A/N): I hope you enjoyed the chapter and the slight twists I made. And Peeta has said the words to Katniss! When do you think Katniss will? I think you all know what's going to happen next as you've all read the book or seen the movie. Next one should be on Saturday if not then Sunday:)**


	9. Escaping

**(A/N): Here is the next chapter! It is shorter than the others but I hope you enjoy it. **

**Chapter 9:Escaping.**

She's pointing up towards the tree tops and I can see five meters up a vague shape covered by the dimming light. A low hum buzzes. A wasp's nest. Fear shoots through me, but I keep still. I don't know what kind of wasps they're but I know the Gamemaker's won't want normal wasps. They could be the Capitol's mutations, tracker jackers. Like the Jabberjays, these killer wasps were spawn in a lab and strategically placed around the Districts during the war. With a solid gold body and being even larger than normal wasps, they have a sting that raises a lump the size of a plum on contact. It can take a few or a single sting to kill someone. If you live, hallucinations brought on by the venom have drawn people to madness. And if you disturb their nest, then they will hunt them down in attempt to kill him or her. Back at home, when nests were left around forgotten, Gale and I would use to run the opposite way, never wanting to get anywhere near them.

I look back to Rue, wondering why she showed me the nest, but she has melted back into her tree. It doesn't really matter what nest it is, I am wounded and trapped with no way to help Peeta. It's still quite early in the evening, I've only been stuck up here – away from Peeta – for half an hour. I look down to see Peeta is watching me, the other careers are eating whatever food they have. Of course none goes to Peeta and if I drop him some food, they will only take it away.

He gives me a small helpless smile. I won't return one; I'm not giving up. Then my eyes widen, a plan coming to my head. Peeta's eyebrows crease together, clearly questioning me. If I'm going to do this, then Peeta is going to have to run and leave me behind. I look at him, mouthing for him to run when I give a signal and then I make a hand gesture of like I'm dropping something. He nods his head slightly.

I know the best time is when the Anthem is playing. So I start climbing my way up, the branches getting thinner, even for me. This is the only way I can save Peeta and that's only if he can run away fast enough. When I reach the branch that holds the nest the humming has become louder, but it's still quite like they're sleeping. _It's the smoke,_ I think, _it's sedated them. _

The seal of the Capitol appears above me and then the anthem blares out. It's now or never. I begin to saw, blisters burst on my right hand as I drag the saw back and forth. The anthem covers the sound of the saw. I get into a rhythm and look up to the sky to see no deaths today. Peeta's face won't appear tomorrow. I won't allow it. The audience would be entertained enough with Peeta and I being separated to hold off any deaths. But the anthem is coming to an end and I' only three quarters of the way through. The anthem ends. I am out of time.

Now what? I could probably finish it off with the sense of feel but I don't think that would be the best of plans. Instead I decide that my best next and last shot would be to come back at dawn, let it fall onto the enemies when they're asleep.

I inch back down to my fork, the careers torches guiding me in the dark. When I get back I find a surprise sitting on my sleeping bag. A small plastic pot attached to a parachute. The first gift from a sponsor! I look down to see if Peeta has anything, but I know Haymitch won't be foolish enough. The pot fits easily in my hand and I wonder what it can be. Not food. When I take the lid off and by the scent I know it is medicine. Cautiously, I probe the surface of the medicine and the throbbing in my finger vanishes.

"Oh, Haymitch," I whisper. "Thank you." He has not abandoned us and I know by giving me the medicine it will help me to save Peeta. The cost of this medicine would be a lot, many sponsors would have had to contribute to the pot. I would have rather had the sponsors saved for Peeta, but right now this pot could save both of us, if we're lucky and can get away fast enough.

I dip two fingers in the pot and gently spread the balm over my calf. The pain erases on contact like magic, leaving a cooling sensation behind. This is no medicine my mother grinds up with herbs and plants found in the woods, this is made in the Capitol's labs. After I've treated my calf, I rub a thin layer on my hands and then wrap the pot in the parachute, putting it safely into my backpack. Now that the pain has ceased, I can reposition myself in my sleeping bag, but I know I won't be sleeping.

I can't find peace when Peeta is in danger, when his life is on the line. I'm afraid if I fall asleep then I will wake up without him. The careers are starting to settle down, it seems the boy from District 1 is taking the first watch. Wouldn't want us sneaking of during the night. He watches Peeta or my tree for a while, but he soon gets bored and starts to scrape the bark of a stick with one of his long knives.

I look to Peeta and find he has settled down, but I know he wouldn't be stupid enough to fall asleep. He's watching me. An eyebrow is raised, him questioning me to what happened. I point to the sky, trying to tell him morning. He nods his head, he trusts me. I give him a small smile, I hate this separation and I hate the careers. He smiles back and I can't help but think about his last words to me, _I love you, Katniss, _he shouldn't have said it but I'm glad he did. I can die having heard those words from his lips, them directed at me, but I won't dare tell him. That wouldn't be fair to tell him and then to die.

This has been the longest night so far, without Peeta and not being able to sleep. I watch the moon travel across the sky, watch as the careers change shifts and exchange a few looks with Peeta. Every time I wonder whether these will be my last few times of seeing him. I wonder if I will die tomorrow and I wonder what the Capitol and my family are thinking. Will Prim get any sleep tonight?

When dawn approaches and birds start chirping in the trees. My hands have gone from bright red to a baby pink and the burning in my calf has cooled down. I apply another layer of cream. I eat a cracker as well as a few sips of water, not too much as I know Peeta hasn't eaten or drank as well.

I look down to see Glimmer has fallen asleep on duty. Peeta is still awake and gives me another smile when he sees me looking over my branch. I can't help but sigh a little, how is it that he could die in a matter of minutes and he still manages to smile? I nod my head, telling him it's time and he nods his head back. I watch him for a few more seconds, fear of that this may be the last time seeing him settles in. He better run fast or I might just kill him myself.

I look away, closing my eyes and locking his last smile to me up in the corner of my mind, wanting to hold onto it for as long as I can. My eyes open, squinting across to the tree where Rue was. It seems only fair to warn her as well. I call her name in a hushed whisper and her wide eyes appear on alert. She points up to the nest again. I hold up a knife and make a sawing motion. She nods and disappears. There's a rustling and then the same a bit further off. I realize she is jumping from tree to tree. I bite my lip to stop a laugh from coming out. This is what she showed the Gamemakers? She should have at least got a ten.

This climb is a lot easier than last nights. At the tree limb, that holds the nest, I position the knife where I left of last night. The something golden moves. On the nest is a bright gleam of a tracker jacker, making its way lazily across the nest. Its acting a bit subdued, but it is moving and that means the others will be out soon. I have to pat my sweaty hands on my top, time will be ticking as I saw the branch. If I'm too long then they will awaken. They could awaken and attack me, killing me and then Peeta.

This is our only chance, though. I take a deep breath and then grip the saw, bringing it back and forth on the branch. With every move, a new buzz is joined, the vibrations bringing them out. _Back, forth, back, forth. _A stabbing pain shoots through my knee and I know one has found me, the others will follow soon. I keep going, thinking of Peeta and him getting away, winning, and going home. And just as the knife goes through, I shove the branch far from me and Peeta. He better start running.

It crashes down to the ground, hitting a few branches along the way and then the nest explodes when it hits the bottom. Furious tracker jackers emerge and then go for the attack. There's a sting on my check and then on my neck, their venom making me woozy. I cling to the tree with one arm and rip their stingers out with my other hand. Only these tracker jackers had identified me before the nest went down, I hope none identify Peeta.

It's mayhem. The careers have awoken to a full scale attack, screaming and running away. Peeta - thank god - has up and bolted. Along with a few others. Cries of, "To the lake! To the lake!" are shouted. Glimmer and another girl, the one from District 4, aren't so lucky. They receive multiple stings before they're even out of my view. Glimmer has gone completely mad, hitting the wasps and calling or the others for help. No one will come or does come. The girl from District 4 staggers of but I doubt she will make it to the lake. Glimmer falls, twitching and then goes still.

The nest is empty, the wasps vanished along with the other tributes. I don't think they will return, but I don't want to risk it. I need to find Peeta. I scamper down the tree, hitting the ground and then run in the direction that Peeta went. The poison makes me wobbly. I find my way back to the pool, falling into the water just in case any wasps make their way back. I search the trees around me for Peeta but I can't find him. The stings are massive, no one has exaggerated their size, but they're more like an orange than a plum. A foul-smelled green liquid oozes from where I pulled the stingers out.

Maybe it's best if I don't find Peeta. If the venom is going to kill me then I don't want him to witness my death. I think of Glimmer, her twitching disfigured body and her swollen hands gripping the bow…

The bow! The venom have made me forgotten and now I'm on my feet again, hurrying back to Glimmer's body before the hovercraft take her and my bow away. I have to get them, if I do survive then I can help Peeta with them. The cannons haven't fired yet, so maybe she is in a coma like way, her heart still struggling against the venom.

I reach Glimmer just as the cannon fires. The tracker jackers have vanished. I think of the beautiful breath taking girl at the interviews and now she is unrecognisable. Her features hidden behind the swelling, her body three times bigger than her original size. The stinger lumps beginning to explode. I have to break her fingers to retrieve the bow and roll her over to free the sheath of arrows. I try to roll her over, the flesh disintegrates under my hands. I fall back onto the ground, the little breakfast I have churning in my stomach.

Is this real? Or have the hallucinations begun? I squeeze my eyes shut and take a deep breath. A cannon goes off again and I am hoping it was the girl from District 4 or one of the other careers. The birds go silent, then a warning call goes off, signalling a hovercraft is near. I have to get the sheath and then then go. I go back onto my knees, the trees spinning around me and in the middle of the sky I spot the hovercraft. I cover Glimmer's body, protecting the precious arrows but I see the girl from District 4's body is retrieved. It's not Peeta.

"Do this!" I command myself. I clench my jaw, grabbing a part of Glimmer's body and rolling her over onto her stomach. I'm hyperventilating, it's like a nightmare and the venom kicking in isn't helping. I tug on the silver sheath of arrows, but it's stuck on something, Glimmer's shoulder and I yank it free. I've just encircled the sheath with my arms when I heard the footprints. A part of me hopes it's Peeta but I could be wrong. They're coming back to retrieve their weapons or kill me.

It's too late to run and I am too weak to fight or shoot. But I still pull an arrow free, trying to position it ready to attack. If I can take a few down with me then it would help Peeta. But I can't even put the bow in properly, instead of one string I am seeing three. I can't do it. The only thing I have is that Peeta has hopefully gone far away and now I can only hope Haymitch will stick to his promise.

I'm hopeless as someone comes crashing through the trees, a spear raised in his arms. Then he drops it to his side, it's Peeta. I'm shocked and angry to see him here, especially when the careers are coming back.

"What are you doing here?" He hisses at me. I'm too weak to even reply, everything is spinning. Water drips off Peeta and he glows in the sunlight. I can see a lump under his ear, others around his body. All I can do is glare at him. "Are you mad?" He's picking me up now and my brain starts working again. We can run, just get far away from them. He starts pushing me away. "Run!" he screams. "Run!"

Behind him, Cato slashes through the bushes with his sword. I can see he's sparkling wet too. "Come on!" I manage to tell Peeta and grab his hand, pulling him to run behind me. I'm holding on tightly to Peeta and the bow, tripping and falling along the way. He helps me up and then we're running again. We run back past the pool and into the unfamiliar woods. I'm running into trees, Peeta is shouting at me to run and butterflies the size of houses appear. Trees turn into blood, splashing my boots and ants start to climb my body. I trip and fall into a small pit full with orange bubbles.

"Peeta," I groan turning around to find him among the bubbles. But he isn't there. "Peeta!" I shout louder, searching the forest for him. He's nowhere. He's gone. I've lost him.

I tuck my knees up into my chest, allowing the ants to consume me. I have failed at keeping Peeta alive, I've lost him and I will never find him. _"I'm sorry."_ I whisper as the world blacks out.

**(A/N): That was quite an evil ending, making her hallucinate Peeta but Rue needs to happen and I think it would be best if Peeta isn't around. Plus we don't want to lose the cave scenes. The next one will be Rue's chapter and it will have a few changes, some cute sad parts added. It will be up on Tuesday on Christmas eve eve. **


	10. Rue

**(A/N): Here is two long chapters as a gift from me to you to say thank you for the great response this story has had and Merry Christmas. I hope you enjoy them. **

**Chapter 10: Rue**

Nightmares of losing Peeta, watching him die in front of me and then the same for Prim. Watching my father go down to the mines for the very last time, watching his last moments. Every time I wake up I'm only pulled back under, forcing me to go through the torture again and again. What's worse is that my fears have become true in reality other than the venom, I have lost Peeta.

When I finally come around, I lie still, waiting for the nightmares to take me again but they don't. The poison has managed to leave my body, leaving me wrecked and feeble. To only be left with the fear of not knowing whether Peeta is alive or not. I'm still curled up in my ball, if Peeta is dead then death can come find me. I lift my hands up to find that there was no ants – they never existed.

I need to move. There is still a chance Peeta could have gotten away alive. I had hallucinated him running with me, hallucinated him holding my hand and helping me along the way. He stayed behind, where the careers were coming. I am angry at him but I'm more scared of the thought of having lost him completely. I move my limbs, pain shooting through my body, and slowly get up.

When I manage to sit up, I realize that I am in a hole with no orange bubbles anywhere to be found. My clothes are damp but I don't know what from. For a while I take tiny sips of water, thinking about where to go. Where would Peeta go if he survived? If he did survive then he has to be wounded and I just hope if he is then it's not fatal.

It's afternoon and by the stiffness of the body I know it has been more than a day. I'll have no way of knowing who survived, no way of knowing if Peeta is still alive. All I know is that Glimmer and the girl from District 4 died during the attack. I wonder if Rue managed to get away, but she had a head start so I'm sure she did.

A foul taste is in my mouth and the water does little to help it. I drag myself over to the honeysuckle bush and pluck a flower. I gently pull the stamen through the blossom and set the drop of nectar on my tongue. The sweetness runs down my throat and into my veins, reminding me of summer in the woods with Gale.

I wonder what Gale would have thought about Peeta and I. Peeta saved my life when I was supposed to be the one saving him. I'm mad at myself and the Gamemaker's, as well as Peeta. But if Peeta is dead then I will avenge his death and then I will join him. I won't go home without him.

I have my bow and arrows and I practice shooting on a tree nearby. They're just like the ones at the Training Center. It's something I can work with. I have these weapons to defend Peeta but I had them too late. But I am no longer prey, I am now the predator and if Peeta is dead then I will be at the top of the food chain.

Before I can search for Peeta or the careers, I have to find some of my strength again. My bones are starting to stick out and my water supply is dangerously low. Then I have my wounds to contend to, burns, cuts and bruises. Then not forgetting the tracker jacker stings, which are sore and swollen as ever. I spread the medicine on my burns and try it on the stings, but it doesn't work. My mother knew a leaf that could draw out the poison, but I can't remember the name or what it even looked like.

I decide to look for water first and then hunt along the way. If Peeta escaped then he would have fled from them, but which way? I decide to head the other way from where I came, hoping Peeta was fleeing the same way I was. I can't move to quickly but I establish the slow hunter's tread I use when hunting. Soon I have made my first kill with the bow and arrows when I spot a rabbit. It's not my usual clean through the eye shot, but I'm not complaining.

After about an hour, I find a stream that's shallow and wide. While I wait for my water to purify, I strip down to my underclothes and wash away the dirt and blood in the water. In the end I lay down in the water, thinking about how Peeta had washed me only a day before. My stomach twists in fear for him and I'm doing everything I can to put on a brave face for the cameras.

I quickly wash my clothes before hanging them on a bush to dry. I sit on the bank, untangling my hair with my fingers. My appetite returns and I eat a cracker and a strip of beef. The moss I find is then used to polish the blood from my silver weapons. After, I treat my burns again and braid my hair, then dress in the damp clothes knowing the sun will soon dry them off. Following the stream seems the smartest way, if Peeta survived then he would need to head out and look for water. I'm traveling uphill, with a source of water and game nearby. I find some sort of bird that looks like a turkey but still looks edible to eat. By late afternoon, I decide to make a small fire in hope that maybe Peeta will find me. I clean my game, plucking the bird until it is on the size of a chicken and place it on the coals.

I hear a twig snap, I turn to the sound bringing the bow and arrow to my shoulder. Please be Peeta or be one of the careers, I'll make them pay for separating us or killing Peeta. There's no one there. No one I can see, anyway. Then there is the tip of a child's boot poking out just behind the tree. My shoulders relax and I grin. She can move through the woods like a shadow.

"You know, they're not the only ones who can form alliances," I say. I don't know why I want to create a new alliance, but if Peeta is dead then I would rather Rue win than anyone else.

Everything is silent and then Rue slowly peeps around the trunk. "You want me for an ally?"

"Why not? You saved _Peeta_ and I with those tracker jackers. You're smart enough to still be alive. And I can't seem to shake you anyway," I say, my voice slightly breaking saying his name and not knowing whether it actually saved him or not. Rue blinks at me, trying to decide. "You hungry?" I can tell by the swallow she makes that she is. "Come on then, I've had two kills today."

Rue carefully steps out into the open. "I can fix your stings."

"Can you?" I ask. "How?"

She digs into the pack she carries and pulls out a handful of leaves. I am almost certain that those are the ones my mother uses. "Where'd you find those?"

"Just around. We always carry them when we work in the orchards. They left a lot of nests there," says Rue. "There are a lot here, too."

"That's right. You're District 11. Agriculture," I say. "Orchards, huh? That must be how you can fly around the trees like you've got wings." Rue smiles. "Well, come on, then. Fix me up."

I sit down by the fire, rolling my trouser leg up to reveal the sting on my knee. To my surprise, Rue puts a handful of leaves in her mouth and starts to chew. My mother would have used another way but it's not like we have other resources to use. After a minute, Rue presses the gloppy green wad of leaves and spit on my knee.

"Ohhh." The sounds escapes me before I can even stop it. It's as if the leaves are drawing the pain from the sting.

Rue gives a giggle. I can't help but think of Prim. "Lucky you had the sense to pull the stingers out or you'd be a lot worse."

"Do my neck! Do my check!" I almost beg.

Rue stuffs another handful of leaves into her mouth and soon I am laughing in relief. I notice Rue has a long burn on her forearm. "I've got something for that." I set aside her weapons and spread the medicine on her burn.

"You have good sponsors," she says.

"Have you got anything yet?" I ask. She shakes her head. "You will, though. Watch. The closer we get to the end, the more people will realize how clever you're." I turn the meat over.

"You weren't joking, about wanting me for an ally?" she asks.

"No, I meant it," I say. I can almost hear Haymitch groaning as I join up with a child. If Peeta is alive then I wonder what he would think or say when we find him. But I want her, she's a survivor and she's clever. And she reminds me of Prim, so how can I say no?

"OK," she says and holds out her hand. We shake. "It's a deal."

I've been holding the question back in fear of what the answer could be. "What have I missed?" I ask.

"Peeta's alive." She tells me. I let out a breath that I had been holding - he's alive. I just have to find him. "Is that all true? Do you love him?"

I bite my lip and feel my cheeks redden. She doesn't need an answer, she knows and now she's giggling again. "Is he your boyfriend?" She asks this time.

"It's complicated," I say and she nods her head in understanding.

"Do you know where he is?" I ask.

"No. All I know is that his picture wasn't in the sky. Only the girls from District 1 and 4." Rue says.

After, Rue contributes some roots to the meat that gives it a sharp sweet taste of parsnip. She recognizes the bird as a groosling, from her District. We stop talking while we fill our stomachs. I'm trying to decide what to do. I want to go find Peeta and for Rue to stay with us, for some reason I want to protect her as well as him. But when it gets to the final three and it's us left, how will I be able to save Peeta? This will be temporary, probably until a few more tributes or one of us die.

"Oh," says Rue with a sigh, "I've never had a whole leg to myself before."

I bet she hasn't. "Take the other," I say.

"Really?" She asks.

"Take whatever you want. Now that I've got a bow and arrows, I can get more. Plus I've got snares. I can show you how to set them," I say. Rue still looks uncertainly at the leg. "Oh, just take it," I say, placing the drumstick in her small hand. "It will only keep a few days anyway, and we've got the whole bird plus the rabbit." Once she has hold of it, her appetite wins over anyway.

"I'd have thought, in District 11, you'd have a bit more to eat then us. You know, since you grow the food." I say.

Rue's eyes widen. "Oh, no, we're not allowed to eat the crops."

"They arrest you or something?" I ask.

"They whip you and make everyone else watch," says Rue. "The mayor's very strict about it."

I can tell by her expression that a whipping occurs a lot. In District 12 a whipping is very rare, although occasionally one does occur. Our District is quite relaxed, if not then Gale and I would get a lot worse that a whipping for what we do every day. But, the mayor and peacekeepers buy our meat and what we gather.

"Do you get all the coal you want?" Rue asks.

"No," I answer, "Just what we buy or track in with our boots."

"They feed us a bit extra during harvest, so that people can keep going longer," says Rue.

"Do you have to be in school?" I ask.

"Not during harvest. Everyone works then," she says.

Its strange hearing about other Districts lives. Usually we're only told what we have to know in school. It wouldn't surprise me if the Gamemaker's were blocking out this harmless conversation.

At Rue's suggestion, we lay out all our food to plan ahead. She has quite a collection of roots, nuts greens and even some berries. All I have is the leftover meat, crackers and beef strips.

I roll an unfamiliar berry in my finger, "You sure this is safe?"

"Oh, yes, we have them back home. I've been eating them for days," she says, popping a handful in her mouth. I take a slow bite into one, they're as good as out blackberries back at home. We divide up our food, just in case we're separated so we're set for a few days. A part from the food, Rue has a small water skin, a homemade slingshot, and an extra pair of socks. She also has a sharp shard of a rock that she uses as a knife. "I know it's not much," she says as if embarrassed. "But I had to get away from the Cornucopia fast."

"You did just right," I say. I spread my gear out in front of us. Rue gasps when I pull out the sunglasses.

"How did you get those?" She asks.

"In my pack. They've been useless so far. They don't block the sun and they make it harder to see." I say, shrugging.

"Those aren't for the sun, they're for darkness," Rue tells me, "Sometimes, when we harvest through the night, and they'll pass out a few pairs to those of us highest in the trees. Where the torchlight doesn't reach. One time, this boy called Martin, he tried to keep his pair. Hid them in his trousers. They killed him on the spot."

"They killed a boy for taking these?" I say.

"Yes, and everyone knew he was no danger. Martin wasn't right in the head. I mean, he still acted like a three-year-old. He just wanted the glasses to play with," says Rue.

I had always thought we had it worse, but we could be seen as a heaven compared to District 11. "So what do these do?" I ask Rue, taking the glasses.

"They let you see in complete darkness," says Rue. "Try them tonight when the sun goes down."

I give Rue some matches and she gives me some more leaves in case my stings flare up again. We extinguish our fire and head upstream until nightfall. "Where do you sleep?" I ask her. "In the trees?" She nods. "In just your jacket?"

Rue holds up her extra pair of socks. "I have these for my hands."

The nights have been so cold. "You can share my sleeping bag if you want. We'll both easily fit." Her face lights up like I have given her the sun.

We pick a fork in a tree and the anthem begins as we're just settling in for the night. There we no deaths today. I'm already dreading every cannon fired between mine and Peeta's separation, the fear of each canon being him.

"Anything about the careers?" I ask Rue. They were stung so they could be just awakening from the poison like I did or maybe it has weakened them.

"I spied on them at their base down by the lake," she tells me. "They made it back before they collapsed from the stingers."

I pull out the glasses, wanting to see if Rue was right. She was. I can see everything from our fork, I could kill anyone from here with these. "I wonder who else got a pair of these," I say.

"The careers have two pairs. But they've got everything down by the lake," Rue says. "And they're so strong."

"We're strong, too." I say. "Just in a different way."

"You are. You can shoot. What can I do?" She questions.

"You can feed yourself. Can they?" I ask.

"They don't need to. They have all those supplies," says Rue.

"Say they didn't. Say the supplies were gone. How long would they last?" I say. "I mean it's the Hunger Games, right?"

"But, Katniss, they're not hungry," says Rue.

"No. They're not. That's the problem." I agree. For the first time I have a plan. A plan that could weaken the careers and help us, as well as helping to keep Peeta alive. I'll just have to delay finding Peeta until after. "I think we're going to have to fix that, Rue."

Rue snuggles up closer to me, her heart completely trusting me. She's fallen asleep in my arms reminding me of those few times I slept in Peeta's arms. I miss him, a lot. But I'm glad I'm not alone. Perhaps we will only have our alliance until we destroy the careers supplies and then part ways for me to find Peeta and for her to go on. Tributes from other Districts usually win when the careers have no food or supplies for survival. They don't know how to survive on what surrounds them, it has to be handed to them.

The boom of the cannon jolts me awake. Peeta. Was it him? I can feel my body shaking with fear and I was right, each cannon is going to torture me. Have I lost my boy with the bread? Rue sits on a branch across from me, her hands cupping something. No more shots follow.

"Who do you think that was?" My voice is shaking slightly.

"I don't know." She says. "It could be any of the others." She adds as if to reassure me. "I guess we'll know tonight."

"Who's left again?" I ask.

"The boy from District one. Both from two. The one from three. Thresh and me. And you and Peeta." Says Rue. "That's eight. Wait, and the boy from ten, the one with the bad leg. He makes nine."

There's someone else, but neither of us can think who. My stomach is threatening to bring everything up, the idea of Peeta being dead isn't settling well.

"What's in your hands?" I ask Rue, wanting to change the conversation from who just died.

"Breakfast," says Rue. She holds her hands out, showing me two large eggs.

"What kind are those?" I ask.

"Not sure. There's a marshy area over that way. Some kind of waterbird," She says.

It would be nice to cook them, but neither of us want to risk a fire. My guess is whoever died – I'm not accepting that it was Peeta – was probably a victim of the career pack. They're back in the games. We both suck out the egg, eat the rabbit and a few berries. It's a good breakfast.

"Ready to do it?" I say, pulling on my backpack.

"Do what?" She asks, bouncing up, ready to do whatever I propose.

"Today we take out the careers' food," I say.

"Really? How? I thought we would be going to look for Peeta." She has a gleam of excitement in her eyes, the only way she is different from Prim when it comes to the idea of an adventure.

"No idea. Come on, we'll figure out a plan while we hunt and then after we can find Peeta." I say.

"Would Peeta want me as an ally?" She asks.

"Of course. If not then I'll make him," I grin at Rue.

She giggles again. "I think he'll do anything you want anyway."

We don't do much hunting, I get as much information as I can out of Rue. She is very observant. They have set up their camp beside the lake, their stash is about thirty meters away and during the day they have been leaving the boy from District 3 to watch over the supplies.

"The boy from District 3?" I ask. "He's working with them?"

"Yes, he stays at the camp full-time. He got stung, too, when they drew the tracker jackers in by the lake." Says Rue. "I guess they agreed to let him live if he acted as their guard. But he's not very big."

"What weapons does he have?" I ask.

"Not much that I could see. A spear. He might be able to hold a few of us off with that, but Thresh could kill him easily," says Rue.

"And the foods just out in the open?" I say. She nods. "Something's not quite right about that whole set-up."

"I know. But I couldn't tell what exactly." Says Rue. "Katniss, even if you could get to the food, how would you get rid of it?"

"Burn it. Dump it in the lake. Soak it in fuel." I poke Rue in the belly, just like I would with my sister. "Eat it!" She giggles. "Don't worry. I'll think of something. Destroying things is much easier than making them."

For a while we gather food, create a plan in hushed voice and I come to know Rue. She's the oldest of six kids, who she gives her rations to the younger ones and is fiercely protective over them. Rue who loves music more than anything else in the world.

"Music." I say. "You have a lot of time for that?"

"We sing at home. At work, too. That's why I love your pin," she says, pointing to the mockingjay that I have forgotten all about, again.

"You have mockingjays?" I ask.

"Oh, yes. I have a few that are my special friends. We can sing back and forth for hours. They carry messages for me," she says.

"What do you mean?" I say.

"I'm usually up the highest, so I'm first to see the flag that signals quitting time. There's a special little song I do," says Rue and she starts singing a four-note song in her sweet voice. "And the mockingjays spread it around the orchard. That's how everyone knows knock off," she continues, "They can be dangerous, though, if you get to near their nests. But you can't blame them for that."

I unclasp the pin and hold it out for her. "Here, you take it. It has more meaning for you than me."

"Oh, no." Says Rue, closing my fingers back over the pin. "I like to see it on you. That's how I decided that I could trust you. Besides, I have this." She pulls out a necklace woven out of some kind of grass, where a wooden star of flower hangs. "It's a good-luck charm."

"Well, it's worked so far," I say, pinning my pin back on my shirt. "Maybe you should just stick with that."

By lunch, we have a plan. By afternoon, we are ready to carry it out. I help Rue collect and place the wood for the first two campfires, the third she'll have time for on her own. We decide to meet at the sight where we had our first meal together. Before I leave, I make sure Rue has enough to eat and drink, insisting she takes the sleeping bag.

"What about you? Won't you be cold?" She asks.

"Not if I pick another bag down by the lake," I say. "You know, stealing isn't illegal here." I say with a grin.

At the last minute, Rue decides to teach me her mockingjay signal. "It might not work, but if you can hear the mockingjays singing it, then you'll know I'm OK, only I can't get back right away."

"Are there many mockingjays here?" I ask.

"Haven't you seen them? They've got nests everywhere," she says. I haven't noticed.

"OK, then. If all goes to plan, I'll see you for dinner." I say.

Surprisingly, Rue throws her arms around me. I hesitate a moment before hugging her back.

"You be careful," she says to me.

"You too," I say. I turn and head back to the stream. Not only am I worried about Peeta and the chance that he could be dead, but now I'm worrying about Rue. I follow the stream downhill, back to where the tracker jacker attack was and the last time I saw Peeta. I'm hoping he will just bump into me that I will find him and together we will destroy the supplies and then go find Rue. But he's nowhere. Perhaps he's already on his way back home in a wooden box before me.

I stop to stock up my water supply and cover the orange of my backpack with mud again. When I near the careers camp, I put all my worries to the side and concentrate on the task at hand. An arrow is fitted to my bow and I'm pausing, listening to my surroundings. When I reach the tree with the abandoned nest, I pause to gather my courage. I grip my bow tighter and make it to the copse. I am the hunter now. Its right at the edge of the wood, but the bushy foliage is so thick down low I can easily spot the career pack without being spotted. I have to admire Rue for her cleverness.

The boy from District 1, Cato, the girl from 2 and the boy from 3 are sitting around their camp. I remember nothing about the boy from District 3, but he must have some value to them, otherwise he would be dead.

I can see the lumps from their stingers from here. They probably haven't even pulled the stingers out and the medicines from the cornucopia have had no effect. The cornucopia is completely clean, all the supplies are piled up in a large heap, in a questionable distance from the camp. Others are sprinkled around the pyramid like at the start of the games.

This isn't going to be simple. Something is going on and I'll stay put until I find out what. My guess is that it's booby-trapped in some way. While I'm thinking, Cato shouts out and points to the fire that Rue has started. We'd gathered enough green leaves to create smoke, drawing them in. The careers begin to arm themselves.

An argument breaks out, loud enough for me to hear about whether the boy from District 3 should accompany them or not.

"He's coming. We need him in the woods, and his jobs done here anyway. No one can touch those supplies," says Cato.

"What about our lover boy?" Says the boy from District 1. I inch closer a little, needing to know what they're about to say.

"I keep telling you, forget about him. I know where I cut him. It's a miracle he hasn't bled to death yet. At any rate, she's probably found him by now and he will weaken her. She won't leave him, they won't raid us," says Cato. If Peeta is badly injured – dying – it takes everything in me to stay quietly still. My heart is beating too fast.

"Come on," says Cato, thrusting the spear into the boy from District 3's hands. They head of in the direction of the fire. "And when I do find her, I kill her in my own way and no one interferes."

I look forward to that day, to when I can kill him and make him regret ever laying a finger on Peeta. I'm worried about Peeta and I just hope Haymitch is keeping his side of the deal. Right now, I stay put, trying to figure out what to do about the supplies. The only advantage I have with the bow and arrows is distance. I could send a flaming arrow, but the chances of it catching fire isn't good and I would have given myself away.

I'm going to have to go out and look myself for an alternative. A movement catches my eye, just before I am about to reveal myself. Someone emerges from the woods nearby. Foxface – the one we couldn't remember this morning – slowly creeping out. I watch as she runs to the pyramid, in quick, small steps and stops before she reaches the pile. Then she begins to hop the rest of the way, landing on one foot, sometimes taking a few steps. I watch as she over hops and falls onto her hands, letting out a small squeal, but nothing happens. She gets back onto her feet and continues until she has reached the pile.

So, I'm right about the booby-trap, but it was a lot more complicated than I thought. I was right about the girl, too. Watching as she takes a little something from the crates and boxes, not too much to make it noticeable. And how she found a safe path to the supplies is clever. I watch as she does her little dance back and disappears back into the woods again.

What kind of trap has the boy set? The frustration of not knowing is angering me. I think about Foxface's reaction when she fell to the earth, when her hands made contact. You'd have thought – wait – that the ground would have exploded!

"It's mined." I whisper. That explains everything. How the careers are willing to leave their supplies and how the boy from District 3 is still alive. It's not like the Gamemaker's to provide mines, they prefer blood to be spilled. I slip out of the bushes and cross to one of the ground metal plates that lifted the tributes into the arena. The boy from District 3 must have reacted the mines that were disabled after the sixty second countdown was over. No one has ever done that before.

What am I supposed to do now? I can't go strolling over to the pyramid and to be blown sky-high. No, but I have an idea to destroy the supplies. Thank you to the boy from District 3. I can blow it up. It doesn't need to be a lot of pressure to blow those mines up. One year, a girl dropped her token, a small wooden ball and they had to scrape her parts up after.

But how to blow it up. I could chuck a few rocks, but that could only set of one mine. Maybe that could start a chain reaction but the boy has spread them out. The second fire is smocking and I know my time is running out. I have to find a way to blow the supplies up, there has to be a way. I could shoot a few arrows, but at what? But then I see the bag of apples and I know I could sever the rope in one shot; didn't I do that in the Training Center? If I could free all the apples then it could make a big enough explosion.

I know what to do. Three arrows is all I'm going to risk. I take my range, placing my feet carefully and focusing on the apples. The first arrow tears through the side and then the second widens it to a hole. An apple wobbles, wanting to fall and then when I fire the last arrow, the apples spill to the ground. I watch them fall and then I'm blown backwards into the air.

The wind is knocked out of me and my backpack digs into my back. Around me the ground shakes with the explosions. I can't hear them; I can't hear anything. Just a ringing that goes off like a constant bell. Falling debris cause other mines to go off and I cover my face as bits of fire rain down, as well as matter.

I roll onto my side, allowing myself to see the mess that I have created. The careers won't be able to save anything from that. I need to get out of here, before they come back. But I find that I'm dizzy, making me fall back onto the ground. I wait, but it doesn't pass. I can't stay here. They will find me. I put a hand to my left ear for it to come back bloody. The idea that I could have gone death frightens me. I am live on screen across Panem, I cannot let my fear show.

I pull my hood up over my head, tying the cord round tight to make sure that I don't leave a blood trial. The only option I have at the moment is to crawl. Another three mines go of, probably from fallen crates or debris. I think about Prim and how I don't want her to watch my painful death at Cato's hands. About Peeta and Rue seeing my picture in the sky tonight.

I have literally just dragged myself into the tangle of bushes, when there's Cato, running into the plain, followed by his companions. His rage terrifies me and I'm glad the cameras can't see me in my hiding place. The boy from District 3 is throwing stones at the mines, declaring they have all been activated.

Cato has finished his tantrum for now when he and the rest of the careers start looking for anything that survived. Nothing has. The boy has done his job too well and now Cato realizes that. He starts shouting at him, the boy turns to run, but Cato has him in a headlock and twists his head to the side. It's that quick.

The other careers are trying to calm him down, pointing up to the sky. Of course they think whoever it was, was killed in the explosions. The cannon shot could have been lost in the explosions. They retire to the far side of the lake, waiting for the hovercraft to take the boy and the assumed dead person away. One only comes for the boy, of course.

Night falls and the seal appears, I assume the anthem has begun. I'm anxious again about Peeta's face appearing, but Cato's words have told me his is still alive. They show the boy from District 3 _and_ the boy from District 10. I close my eyes in relief. But now they know the person responsible is alive. I watch as they put their night-vision goggles on and light torches. They stride back into the woods to hunt.

The dizziness has stopped, the ringing keeps going in my right ear but the left has gone completely silent. They probably think the bomber has a 2-3 hour head of them, so I don't risk moving yet. First, I dig out my own glasses and put them on. Right now I'm concentrating more on my eyes than my ears. I drink some water and wash the blood from my ear. I make a meal out of the roots, greens and nuts Rue and I gathered today.

Where is my little ally? I hope she made it back safe. I'm glad her face wasn't in the sky. There is only eight of us left, betting must be getting really serious in the Capitol. They're probably interviewing our families, I'm sure they have a lot of questions for mine and Peeta's.

A cold breeze blows past me, making me shiver. I remember how I was supposed to pick up another sleeping bag since I gave mine to Rue. I scoop out a hollow and cover myself in leaves and pine needles, but I'm still cold. At least Rue will be warm tonight. Then I decide to lay the sheet of plastic over me to block the wind, which makes it a little better. Somehow, I manage to drift off to sleep.

When I wake up the world looks strange, I take of the glasses and put them in my backpack. I hear a laugh nearby, making my body go still. It's disorientated but at least I've got my hearing back, but only in my right ear. I peer through the bushes to find Foxface, standing in the rubble of the pyramid and laughing. She's clever than the careers, finding a metal pot and knife under the ashes. Now would be a good time to shoot her, but she hears something and scurries back the way she came. Nothing shows up, but I decide to head out anyway.

I have no idea where the careers are, so I hurry back to the stream to follow it back to where I'm supposed to meet Rue. I walk with an arrow in my bow and a drumstick in another, using my eyes to check my surroundings since my ears aren't at their best. I refill my water and wash, being careful of my ear. I travel uphill and soon find boot marks in the mud. The careers have been here but no in a while as the mud has dried in the sun. I decide to strip my socks and boots of and travel in the stream.

I manage to shoot to fish, eating one and saving the other for Rue. I can't wait to tell her what happened and then to find Peeta. I imagine the three of us together, I think Peeta and Rue would get on. The ringing in my right ear has stopped and the left is still silent, I keep cleaning it but nothing helps.

When I reach the site of our first meeting, I start to panic as everything is undisturbed. She should have returned by now, but there is no sign of my little friend. She's probably being cautious on her way back, but I hope she hurries. Did she even light the third fire? I clean the blood from my jacket and hear, before treating all my wounds. My ear is now my main concern. I go ahead and eat the second fish.

The afternoon goes slowly as I sit in a tree, waiting for Rue or the careers or Peeta and chew on leaves to apply them to my stings and comb my hair before braiding it. My stomach is growling and I know that today is a hollow day, where no matter how much you eat, you're still hungry.

I start to eat what remaining food I own, the wing of the groosling, some nuts and the last of the crackers. I even end up daydreaming about all the rich wonderful food the Capitol has, how I wish I could push a button and have it appear. The minty taste of the mint leaves keeps me sustained for now.

I watch the sun slowly sink down the sky and I start to worry over Rue. Where is she? I've decided to go look for her, to go to the third fire in hope that she's around there. Before I go, I scatter a few mint leaves around to show Rue that I was here if she comes back.

In less than an hour, I am where the third fire was supposed to be lit. Everything has been neatly arranged but the fire wasn't lit. Rue has set up the fire but has never made it back. She ran into trouble between the second fire and this one.

I don't even know if she's dead or alive. In the early hours of the morning the cannon could have gone off and my ears wouldn't have picked it up. But I refuse to believe that she is dead. She's most likely stuck out there, hiding from a tribute or an animal that was hunting her. Something is keeping her up a tree and I think I'll go find out what.

I make my way out, checking my surrounds for any sign of struggle or clue that Rue was nearby. I've stopped for a moment when I hear it. I have to cock my head to the side to make sure, but there it is again. Rue's four-note tune carried by the mockingjays. That means she's alright.

I grin and move in the direction of the birds, allowing them to lead me to her. I swallow and sing back, searching the trees and around me for her. A mockingjay repeats the melody to me and then I hear her scream.

It's a young girl's scream, a kind of scream you never want to hear. And I'm running now, knowing that this could be a trap, a way for the careers to get to me, but I don't dare stop. "Katniss! Katniss!" She's screaming my name.

"Rue!" I shout back, letting her know that I'm coming. "Rue! I'm coming!"

When I break into the clearing, she's on the ground entangled in the net, tears streaking her face. She reaches for me, my name is whispered and then the spear enters her body.

They boy from District 1 drops to the floor dead before he can even take the spear from Rue's body. My arrow is deep in his neck and he rolls around in his own blood during his last moments. I'm reloading, searching around me. "Are there more? Are there more?"

She has to say no several times before I can hear it.

She has rolled to her side, curling up around the spear. I shove the boy from District 1 away and pull out my knife, freeing her from the net. One look at the wound and I know I am not going to be able to save her. The spearhead is buried deep inside her stomach. I crouch next to her, starting helplessly at the wound. We both know she's going to die. Her hand reaches out and I clutch it, stroking her hair gently.

"You blew up the food?" She asks.

"Every last bit of it." I say.

"You have to win," she says.

A tear rolls down my cheek. I promised to Prim and now I'm going to promise Rue on her deathbed when I know I won't be keeping it. "He's going to. He's going to win for both of us."

"You mean Peeta?" She asks.

I nod my head, he will win for both of us. A cannon goes off, it must be for the boy from District 1.

"Tell him I say thank you." I look up to the sky. "Don't go."

"Course not. I'm staying right here." I say and move in closer, bringing her head on to my lap. Gently, pushing her hair behind her ear and stroking her face.

"Sing," she says so quietly.

Sing what? I do know a few songs – my father taught me – but I haven't sung much since he died. The only times was when Prim was sick. My voice burns with the tears and I know I have to do this, this is Rue's last request. I'll sing her a lullaby, sing her to sleep.

_Deep in the meadow, under the willow _

_A bed of grass, a soft green pillow _

_Lay down your head, and close your sleepy eyes_

_And when again they open, the sun will rise. _

_Here it's safe, here it's warm _

_Here the daises guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

Rue's eyes close, her chest only slightly moving and the tears fall down my face, wetting the ground below us. I have to finish the song for her.

_Deep in the meadow, hidden far away _

_A cloak of leaves, a moonbeam ray_

_Forget you woes and let your troubles lay_

_And when again it's morning, they'll wash away._

_Here it's safe, here it's warm_

_Here the daises guard you from every harm_

_Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true_

_Here is the place where I love you._

The mockingjays take up my song, playing it for Rue. I sit there, watching as my tears fall onto Rue's face as I hold her close, watching her still body, watching as she seems at peace. Her cannon fires, creating a sob from me and then I kiss the top of her temple. "Goodbye, my friend." I whisper and gently rest her head on the ground.

They will want me to leave now. So they can collect the bodies and there is nothing for me to stay for anyway. I roll the boy from District 1, taking his backpack and then I cut Rue's from her back. I know she would want me to have it.

I can't stop but watch Rue. How she deserved better than this and how small she looks. Even the boy from District 1 looks peaceful. I hate the Capitol for doing this to all of us. No one deserves this, not even Cato. Peeta's words from our last private night together come back to me "_the Capiol don't own me. That I'm more than a piece in their games." _I now understand what he means.

I want to do something, to show them that we're more than pieces in their games. To show them and Panem that they don't control us. That Rue or any of us never deserved this. A few steps into the woods grows some wild flowers. I pick as many colours as I can find, violets, yellows and whites.

One flower at a time, I decorate Rue's body. Covering the ugly wound, weaving them through her hair and along her body. They will have no choice but to show Rue's body when they come to collect it and everyone will see what I did. She looks like she's sleeping in a meadow.

"Goodbye, Rue," I whisper and then I press the three middle fingers of my left hand to my lips and then hold them out in her direction. I walk away without looking back and all the birds fall silent. Soon the birds start singing again and I know she is gone.

She's good and safe now. No one else to harm her. And the birds show this by playing her four-note melody, filling the forest with her music.

I wonder around, not sure where to go and not even bothered if I come across anyone. Let them find me and then I will kill them. I need to find Peeta, but I have no idea where to look. There's so few of us left and the arena is large. He could be anywhere.

A parachute falls towards me. I'm mad because Haymitch shouldn't bother sending me anything and save it for Peeta. But I do hope it's something for my ear. I open the parachute to find a small loaf of bread. This is no Capitol bread. It's made from dark ration grain and shaped in a crescent, sprinkled with seeds. I flashback to Peeta's lesson on the District's bread and know this is from District 11. This must have cost a lot for people who can't even afford to feed themselves. Was it meant for Rue but because she died they sent it to me as a thank you? I don't know why, but this is a first. No other District has given other tributes a gift before.

I lift my face up to the sun, to the cameras. "My thanks to the people of District eleven." I say, wanting them to know that I know where it came from. That their gift has been recognized.


	11. Finding him

**Chapter 11: Finding him.**

I don't want to be alone more than ever. Peeta is what I need but I have no idea where he is or where to even start to look for him. Plus it's getting late and wouldn't be wise to look for him when the careers are out, it wouldn't help Peeta. I climb a tree, climbing into my sleeping bag that was in Rue's bag and start to eat the bread District 11 gave me. Tomorrow I will find Peeta and I will help whatever state he is in.

Soon the anthem is played and the Capitol seal appears, followed by the boy from District 1 – _who_ I killed – and then Rue. Her picture haunting me in the dark night. Only six of us left, only four more to die before I die, before Peeta goes home and wins for both Rue and myself. I soon fall asleep.

My dreams are full with Rue, her laughing and signing. The mockingjays singing along with her and she is happy. It's peaceful and comforting to listen to, to know that she is now at peace. But when I wake up I am welcomed back to the sadness of the reality and how the Games are likely to get a lot harder now that six of us remain.

But the reality is going to lead me to Peeta and then I can join Rue with her signing. I wake up at Dawn and start to sort out the packs. There is no point in laying around grieving about Rue when I could be out looking for Peeta.

Rue's backpack holds my sleeping bag, her nearly empty water skin, a handful of nuts and roots, a bit of rabbit, extra socks, and her slingshot. The boy from District 1 has several knives, two spare spearheads, a flashlight, a small leather pouch, a first-aid kit, a full bottle of water and a pack of dried fruit. It seems the careers only pack enough food for their hunting trips, so they will be hungry a lot sooner than planned. Good.

I finish of the last of the bread from District 11 and the rabbit. I'm going to have to hunt while I look for Peeta. Before I leave, I conceal the boy's knives and spearheads behind a pile of rocks since I don't need them and I don't want anyone else to have them.

I'm heading back in the direction of the stream, I know this as I pass Rue's unlit fire. That's where I find a flock of groosling, where I easily take down three and use Rue's fire to cook them. I'm not even bothered about the smoke, let it draw in the careers or let it be a signal to Peeta that I'm here. The careers killed Rue and they separated me and Peeta, so let them come.

I really do think Peeta has a chance of winning. At first I was determined, but really the chances weren't great with the other tributes. But now, the tables have changed and I am at an advantage. If I could just get to Peeta then I can knock down anyone who stands in our way. I really do hope Cato comes after us.

I overcook the bird, hoping someone or anyone comes but everything is silent. Perhaps there is another fight going on somewhere else. I wrap up the food to steam, replenish my water and then gather some supplies.

Then I'm looking, searching the woods for Peeta in hope to find him. I watch as the sun travels across the sky, evening slowly approaching. Where would he be? I'm mad at myself for not knowing, for not coming up with a place to meet if we separated in the first place and mad at Peeta for not following me.

I climb up a tree for the night, deciding to think of a better plan while resting. If I don't find him tomorrow then I think the tables will be turning again. He's injured and as it was Cato I know that it's not going to be good. How long has he got?

But while I'm thinking about Peeta's state and where he is, I'm also thinking about the events that happened yesterday. Rue's death and then the boy. How I killed him so easily without a second thought. Gale was right, it wasn't any different from killing an animal. But somewhere he had a family, maybe even a girlfriend and I took him from them, just like he took Rue from hers.

No deaths today, so I go to block my good ear from the anthem but trumpets are played. I'm completely listening now. An announcement is going to be made, usually it's a feast inviting all players to a banquet to fight over something. It's a good chance to kill people, but Peeta is my main priority.

Claudius Templesmith's congratulates us on making it to the final six from above. But he isn't inviting us to a feast, he is, in fact, suggesting a rule change! There's never been any rules before, a part from the not stepping of the circle before the sixty seconds is up. Then he is telling us that both tributes from the same District can be crowned winners if they're the last two standing. Two winners!

"Peeta!" I whisper his name. We could both win, both of us can go home. I can save him and keep my promise to Prim. This has been announced for our benefit, perhaps our love story is a bigger hit then we thought and the audience are wanting a happy ending for us. I want one too.

I know I am smiling, perhaps my biggest smile since entering the arena, but I can't help it. And I know the cameras are on me and I can't help but think what Peeta's reaction to the announcement is.

The only people who benefit from this rule other than us is Cato and the female tribute from District 2. I wonder what they think about this. Then there is Foxface, who is alone and evade instead of attack. Thresh, he is a threat and I think his domain is near the lake, where Foxface came alarmed when she saw something or someone.

I have to force myself to stay put and sleep. Now I want nothing more than to find Peeta. I snuggle down in my sleeping bag, tomorrow we will be together again sharing this sleeping bag. My thoughts lead to our reunion, will we kiss? But then I remember he's injured and I'm not sure what I'm going to find.

Somehow I do manage to get some sleep and in the morning I am cautious of leaving. Worried that the careers could have set an ambush for me, anything to stop me from finding Peeta. I make sure I am fully prepared, by having a big breakfast, securing my pack and weapons.

The careers will know I will be trying to find Peeta. But by what Cato said, it seems he wanted me to find Peeta in hope to weaken me. If I do find Peeta then I will be defending both of us. But if he is badly injured then how is he still alive? I think about Peeta and anything he said in hope it might ring bells to where he is. The last time I saw him, sparkling in water and yelling at me to run. Cato came up behind him and must have wounded him then. How far did he get when wounded and stung? If these haven't killed him then how has he gone without water?

That's when I realize the first place to look. I'm angry with myself for not thinking about this sooner, but now that I have a clue I head out in that direction. He has to be hiding around some sort of water source. Not the lake since that would be too risky. A few spring pools that wouldn't be big enough to hide him. The stream. How I've walked back and forth along that stream and hadn't even thought that maybe Peeta could be around. That seems the perfect place to start.

The water is cool on my feet as I head downstream, the sun beating down on what seems the hottest day here yet. I want to call out Peeta's name as I go, but I thought against it. He has to know I'm looking for him so hopefully he will be looking out for me.

It doesn't take long till I reach the spot that goes up to the careers camp. I've been here three times since the tracker jacker attack and haven't seen a single clue of Peeta, so it doesn't surprise me when I don't find him. The stream begins to curve to the left into a part of the woods that's new to me. Rocks start to grow in size and height, mud along the banks and then I see a bloody streak going across a boulder. It's dry, but by the way it is smudged it shows that someone tried to wipe it away who wasn't fully in control mentally.

The sight of his blood scares me, but I follow it along the rocks, knowing I am getting closer and closer to him. I find a few more blood-stained and bits of thread, but no sign of Peeta. "Peeta! Peeta!" I say his name in a hushed voice but stop when the mockingjays take up my voice. I sigh and go to turn back down the stream, he must have moved on.

"Katniss?" A voice breaks out. It came from the left so I'm not sure if I'm hearing things or if it was actually him. My eyes search around for him but I can't find him.

"Peeta?" I whisper. "Where are you?" I'm moving around, trying to find the direction of where his weak voice came from. "Peeta?"

"Well, don't step on me."

I jump back. His voice was by my feet. When I look I find nothing and then he opens his eyes, the blue of them so bright against the mud and green leaves. I gasp and am rewarded with a smile of white teeth.

I fall onto my knees next to him, trying to control my emotions of finding him. The cameras have to be on us now, wanting to see our reunion. His camouflage is unbelievable. He should have painted himself instead of thrown heavy weights around. "Close your eyes again." I order him. He does and his mouth to, making him blend into the nature around him completely. My fingers trace where I know his mouth was and I feel his warm breath. "I guess all those hours decorating cakes paid off."

Peeta kisses my fingers and smiles. I've missed his touches. "Yes, frosting. The final defence of the dying."

"You're not going to die," I tell him, pulling the rocks and leaves of his body.

"Says who?" His voice is so weak.

"Says me. I won't let you die or sacrifice yourself for me." I tell him and he flashes me another smile when I glare at him. He isn't getting away that easily.

I help him sit up and then I wrap my arms around him, holding him close. His hand rests on my hair and I hear him let out a long sigh. "I've missed you so much," I whisper so the audience can't hear.

"I've missed you, too." He says.

Then before I forgive him completely, I pull away, hitting him on the chest but not too hard. "Don't ever do that again! Do you know how scared I was? I thought I lost you!" I say, biting my lip to hold back a sob that threatened to show. I'm looking way to weak lately.

"I'm sorry I scared you," he says, the only thing he's apologizing for. "I really want to kiss you. You won't allow me when I have mud on my lips, will you?"

"No." I grin. He sighs. I hand him the water bottle that he drinks and then uses to wash his lips with. My smile grows wider.

"How about now?" He asks. I kiss him, only the slight taste of mud is left behind, but I don't care. His lips are slightly hot and burn at the touch. The kiss is full with desperation, both of us hungry for more and hating the separation between us. I lightly place another kiss on his lips before pulling away. We have other things to worry about then our needs.

"Was that good enough?" I ask.

"That was perfect." He says.

"Did Cato cut you?" I ask, turning serious. All I have is a first-aid kit to help him out and I don't know whether that's going to be any good.

"Left leg. Up high," he answers.

"Let's get you in the stream, wash you off so I can see what kind of wounds you got," I say.

When I help him to the stream, the happiness has deflated from him and now he cries out in pain. He is weak and has to lean on me for support. I hate seeing him like this and I have to end up dragging him through his pain, it's horrible. Were close to the stream, he's lying on the ground with his teeth gritted and tears have stained his painted cheeks.

"I'm so sorry, Peeta," I say. My heart breaking for him. "I'm going to roll you into the stream. It's very shallow here, OK?"

"Not your fault. Go for it." He says.

I crouch down next to him, squeezing his hand gently in hope to reassure him that everything's going to be all right. This is going to be painful for him and I have to tell myself to keep going till he's in the water. "On three," I say. "One, two, three!" I mange one full roll because of the horrible sounds he's making. I don't know how to help him if everything I do causes him pain. I've never felt so helpless before and I haven't even looked at his wound yet. When I see Cato next, I'll make sure he suffers real hard for what he's done to Peeta.

He's on the edge of the stream and I don't have the heart to move him any closer. I don't want to hear his cries or screams again, ever. "OK, change of plans. I'm not going to put you all the way in," I tell him. Anyway, if I get him in how am I supposed to get him back out again?

"No more rolling?" He asks.

I rub the mud and tears from under his eyes. "That's all done. Let's get you all cleaned up. Keep an eye on the woods for me, OK?" I say. He's covered from head to toe in mud and matted leaves. I don't even know where to start or where his clothes are. That's if he's wearing any clothes. I'm blushing and I know Peeta can see. Naked bodies are no big deal, but seeing his body? My hands are shaking even at the thought.

All I've got is two water bottles and Rue's water skin. Two are propped against the rocks to fill while the third is used to pour over Peeta's body. It takes a while but eventually I am able to get all the mud and leaves of him. I gently unzip his jacket, unbutton his shirt and ease them of him. His undershirt is so plastered into his wounds that I have to cut it off with my knife and drench him again to work it off. He is badly bruised, with four tracker jacker stingers and a burn that runs along his chest. These I can fix. I decide to work on his chest first, wanting to relieve some of the pain and start with something that I know I can help. Really, I'm afraid to find out what Cato has done.

The muddy water makes it pointless to treat his wounds, so I push him up against the boulder. He sits there, quietly, while I wash all the dirt and blood from his skin and hair. I noticed he's looking paler and skinnier than I remembered him. The stingers have to be dug out from the lumps, causing him some pain until I apply the leaves. While he dries, I wash his shirt and jacket, spreading them over the boulders to dry. Then I apply the burn cream to his chest, blushing, but I notice how hot his skin has become. Just like his lips. I dig through the first-aid kit, pulling out the pills that reduce his temperature.

"Swallow these," I tell him, holding out the water and pills that he takes slowly. "You must be hungry."

"Not really. It's funny, I haven't been hungry for days," says Peeta and when I offer him the groosling he wrinkles his nose up. That's when I know how sick he is.

"Peeta, we need to get some food in you." I insist.

"It'll just come right back up," he says.

"Fine. If you don't eat then you get no kisses," I say, crossing my arms over my chest. He manages to eat a few bites of apples after that.

"Thanks. I'm much better, really. Can I sleep now, Katniss?" he asks.

"Soon," I promise, giving him a sweet kiss to wake him up a bit. "I need to look at your leg first. I'm trying to be gentle when I take of his boots and socks, followed by his trousers that I slowly inch down. I can't look at him. When I see his wound I want to cry. The deep inflamed gash is oozing blood and pus. His leg is swollen and the smell of festering flesh makes it even more horrible.

I'm never good at things like this. I have no idea what I'm going to do. The sight of it makes me want to run but I can't leave Peeta and I have to help him however I can. But I don't have the skill or the courage to face this like my mother or Prim.

"Pretty awful, huh?" Peeta says. He's watching me closely.

"It will be fine," I tell him, shrugging like it's not a problem. Inside I'm trembling with the fear of that I really could possibly lose him. I don't know how to treat this. "You should see some of the people they bring my mother from the mines." I decide not to tell him that I'm the one that runs away. "First thing is to clean it well."

I've left Peeta's undershorts on as I don't want to hurt him when I pull them of and the idea of seeing him naked makes me nervous. Especially on camera when everyone is watching us. My mother and Prim don't find nakedness embarrassing. It's almost laughable how much use Prim would be to Peeta right now than me. I place the plastic sheet under him, cleaning of his legs and around the wound. He has a few stings and burns that I can easily treat. Now I'm left with Cato's cut with no idea how I'm supposed to help it.

"Why don't we give it some air and then…" I trail off.

"And then you'll patch it up?" says Peeta. I know he knows that I have no idea what I'm doing and I don't want him to feel sorry for me. It is his fault for not following me but I was supposed to be the one to protect him. And what about Haymitch? He promised me and he won't even send Peeta any medicine! He sent me burn cream!

"That's right," I say. "In the meantime, you eat these. If you eat them all then you can have another kiss." Kisses seem my best way of persuasion when it comes to Peeta, offer him them or threatening him with none. I place a few dried pear halves in his hand and then go to wash the rest of his clothes. When they're left out to dry I go to examine the contents of the first-aid kit, hopping there is something there that can help Peeta. It's only the simple stuff. Bandages, fever pills, medicine to calm stomachs. Nothing will help Peeta.

"We're going to have to experiment some," I admit. The tracker jacker leaves draw you infection, so that seems the best way to start. Peeta seems amused me with the chewing the leaves, but when I place it on his leg the smile is gone. The pus starts to run down the side of his leg. This has to be a good thing but my breakfast is threatening to come up.

"Katniss?" Peeta says. I meet his eyes, hoping I don't appear too confused or green to him. He mouths the words. "How about that kiss?"

I can't help but smile. With everything that's going on with his leg all he is worried about is receiving his kiss for eating his dried pears. I kiss him, having spent too much time away from him I can't get enough of him, but I end up laughing over the whole situation.

"Something wrong?" He asks too innocently.

"I… I'm no good at this. I'm not my mother. I've no idea what I'm doing and I hate pus." I say. "Euh!" I groan as I rinse away the first layer of leaves before applying the second layer. "Euuuuh!"

"How do you hunt?" he asks. I can see he is amused.

"Trust me. Killing things is much easier than this," I said. "Although for all I know, I am killing you."

"Can you speed it up a little?" He asks.

"No. Shut up." I say. All I have to do is keep him alive until the end, letting the doctors take over. Sounds simple.

It takes three applications of the leaves for what seems all the pus to come out. His leg isn't as swollen now and I can see the cut goes all the way down to the bone.

"What next, Dr Everdeen?" Peeta asks.

"Don't call me that," I say.

"Alright. What about sweetheart? Darling? Kitty? Kitten? Kat? Cookie?" Peeta says and then laughs when I blush.

"Kat? Cookie?" I question.

"Kat, short for Katniss." He shrugs. "Cookie was what my dad use to call my mother."

"Seems appropriate for a baker," I say.

"So, what next, cookie?" Peeta asks with a smile.

"Just because I said it was appropriate for your dad, doesn't mean you can use it." I say, but I'm smiling. "I think I'm going to put some burn ointment on it. I think it helps with infection anyway. And wrap it up?" I do as I say and the whole things seems a lot better and manageable. His undershorts look filthy compared to the white bandage.

I pull out Rue's backpack. "Here, cover yourself with this and I'll wash your undershorts."

"Oh, I don't care if you see me," Peeta says.

"You're just like the rest of my family," I say. "I care, all right?" I turn my back, looking out at the stream and hopping the red of my cheeks calms down before I turn back round again. The undershorts splash into the water. He must be feeling better if he can throw.

"You know, you're kind of squeamish for such a lethal person," Peeta says as I beat his shorts against the rocks to clean them. "I wish I'd let you give Haymitch a shower after all."

I wrinkle my nose at the memory. "What's he sent you so far?"

"Not a thing," Peeta says and I look up in shock. Not a single thing to help him? What is Haymitch doing? Is he too drunk to remember his promise or doesn't he care? "Did you get something?"

"Burn medicine," I say, "Oh, and some bread." I'm mad at Haymitch, why would he give me medicine and not Peeta?

"Good. You needed it. But why the bread?" He asks. I stop beating the pants, the conversation taking everything from me. Haymitch, Rue, as well as no medicine for Peeta, drains me. Peeta knows I can hunt and that I have my bow and arrow, it does seem weird to why Haymitch would send me bread.

"A gift from District eleven," I say.

"Rue?" He asks, losing his smile completely as if he knows. I nod my head, sitting down next to him and he puts an arm around me. He keeps the bag in his lap – her bag.

"She says, 'thank you', by the way." I say, needing to tell him.

"For what?" He asks confused.

I bite my lip. "I don't know." I lie. It feels wrong to lie but if I tell him the reasons behind it then it will only cause arguments and I don't want to argue.

"OK," he says. He knows I'm lying but he doesn't press on it.

I let Peeta doze off while we wait for his clothes to dry of, but by late afternoon I know we need to get going if we're going to find somewhere to rest. I gently shake his shoulder, "Peeta, we've got to go now."

"Go?" He seems confused. "Go where?"

"Away from here. Downstream, maybe. Somewhere we can hide you until you're stronger," I say and help him dress, leaving his feet bare so we can walk in the stream. I help him upright and his face drains of colour when he puts pressure on his leg. I kiss him, trying to distract him from the pain of it. "Come on. You can do this."

We make it about fifty meters down the stream, with me supporting most of his weight and I know he's about to black out. I gently sit him on the bank, putting his head between his knees and rubbing his back soothingly. I want to climb up a tree but I know I would never get him up there. But I notice some of the rocks form cave-like structures. When Peeta's able to stand again, I half-carry and half-guide him to the cave. By the time we get there he is pale, painting and shivering when the temperature is only just cooling off.

I cover the ground of the cave in pine needles, roll out my sleeping bag and tuck Peeta into it. I manage to get a couple of pills and water into him, but he is completely refusing the food, even when I offer him kisses. Then I know he is watching me as I make a hide out of vines to conceal the front of the cave. But by the time I've finished I know that no one is going to fall for it. Frustrated, I pull the vines down.

"Katniss," He says. I go over to him and brush the hair away from his face, tracing his cheekbones with my fingers. "Thanks for finding me."

"Of course I was going to find you, were supposed to stick together, right?" I say, resting my hand on his forehead. His skin is still hot. I'm so scared that he is going to die.

"Yes. Look, if I don't make it back –" He begins.

"Don't talk like that," I say.

"I know. But just in case I don't –" He tries to continue.

"No, Peeta. I'm not going to let you die. I don't even want to discuss it." I put my fingers on his lips, to try and stop him from talking. His lips part at my touch.

"But I –" He insists.

I lean down to kiss him, the temperature of his lips are unnatural but the fear of possibly losing him makes me kiss him harder. The only reason I pull away is because I know it will be tiring him out. "You're not going to die. I forbid it. Me and you are going to go home, where we can be together. All right?" I tell him. I don't even want to think about what's going to happen if we get home, I just want to concentrate on the now.

"All right," he whispers, letting me pull the edges of the sleeping bag around him.

I slip out into the cool evening air, wanting to have time to myself to think about how I'm possibly supposed to save him. Then a parachute finally falls down from the sky, about time. My fingers quickly untie the knots, in hope that it's medicine for Peeta. Instead I find a hot broth and an apple.

Haymitch's message isn't clear. Why would he send us this instead of medicine? And then why even bother with the apple? I think back to when I shot an arrow through an apple near the Gamemaker's. Is this Haymitch telling me that the Gamemaker's won't allow him to send Peeta medicine? If so, then why?

At least Haymitch has given Peeta something to eat. That I can work with. Perhaps if the audience sees me caring for Peeta, they will make the Gamemaker's send us medicine. But now I'm afraid that the Gamemaker's are wanting Peeta to die, to give us hope that we can both go home for it to only end tragically. If that is the case then I won't let it happen. Peeta will go home with or without me.

"Peeta!" I call when I enter the cave again. He's asleep and I wake him up with another kiss. He opens his eyes, smiling at me. I can't help but kiss him again. "Peeta, look what Haymitch has sent you."

**(A/N): Those are the two chapters then. Please tell me what you think. A lot of cute Everlark chapters are being planed. After the Hunger Games is finished I'm going to have a few chapters of Everlark being together before we start Catching Fire. I'm curious, should Peeta have a pet name for Katniss, if so what one? Darling? Kitty? Kitten? Kat? Cookie? **

**Thank you again for all the positive support. AND MERRY CHRISTMAS. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas! Next chapter should be Saturday. **


	12. Caring for him

**(A/N): I hope everyone had a good Christmas! Mine was amazing, I got lots of books and mockingjay merchandise. My parents got me a poster signed by the whole cast! Let me know in the reviews or message me what you got! Anyway, here is the next chapter and its cute! **

**Chapter 12: Caring for him.**

It takes a long time to get the broth into Peeta, I have to beg him, plead with him and persuade him with kisses. I won't give up, he will have every last drop of it. When he does I let him drift back off to sleep and then I eat some groosling and roots, while watching the reports in the sky. No deaths. I can only hope that mine and Peeta's reunion is enough to keep the audience entertained for a while.

I place on the glasses and ready my bow to make watch. But the temperature soon drops and I decide to get in the sleeping bag with Peeta. Not only is it warmer, it's boiling with the heat Peeta is radiating of. I check his forehead, brushing the strands of hair from his face. Should I keep him in the sleeping bag or take him out to cool in the night air? Instead I rest a damp strip of bandage on his forehead.

This is how I spend my night. Looking out for any threats, keep dampening the bandage for Peeta and worrying about the fear of losing him. Having him injured with a fever is going to make it harder to save him, but now I believe we can both go home. He just has to hold on, just a little longer.

When the sun starts to rise, Peeta's fever breaks and beads of sweat start to show. I gently wipe them away, hoping that this is a good sign. He's only cooled down a few degrees but it's something. I go outside, collecting berries from Rue's bush that I spotted yesterday and mix them with water.

Peeta's struggling to get up and I rush over to help him. "I woke up and you was gone," he says. "I was worried about you."

I laugh while helping him lean back against the wall behind him, putting the bags under him to try and get him comfortable. "You were worried about me? Have you seen yourself lately?"

"I thought Cato or Clove had found you," he says.

"Clove? Which one is that?" I ask.

"The girl from District two. She's still alive, right?" He says.

"Yes, there's just them and us and Thresh and Foxface." I say. "How are you feeling?"

"Better than yesterday. This is an enormous improvement over the mud," he says. "Clean clothes and medicine and the sleeping bag and I've got you again."

I touch his cheek and he catches my hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss. It's something my father use to do to my mother. Where did Peeta get it from? Surely not his mother and the witch, other known as Cookie. "You've always got me." I say.

"Always?" He questions not quite believing it.

"Always," I say. "Now eat. No more kisses until you've eaten."

He manages to sip a few spoonfuls, claiming for a kiss with each one. I try to get him to eat the groosling, but he won't touch it, not even for a kiss.

"You didn't sleep," Peeta says.

"I'm all right," I say but I'm exhausted. "Sleep now. I'll keep watch. I'll wake you if anything happens," he says and I hesitate. "Katniss, you can't stay up for ever."

He's right. I do need sleep. I can't protect him if I'm tired. And he's wide awake right now, so it's probably better to sleep now. "All right." I say. "But just for a few hours. Then you wake me."

I smooth the sleeping bag on the cave floor next to Peeta. It's too warm to get inside it, so instead, I lay on top of it, facing Peeta. I'm scared that if I go to sleep I'll wake up and he'll be gone or dead. He seems to know what I'm think and reaches out to take my hand, his other brushing a few strands of hair from my face. "I'm not going anywhere," he says. I watch him as he traces my face with his fingers, going down my nose and over my lips. He gently closes my eyelids. "Go to sleep." And I do at the gentleness of his touch.

The sun is high in the sky, already sinking. I've slept too long, it's afternoon. Peeta's right beside me, his hand still in mine and his position unchanged. I'm better rested then I have been in days.

"Peeta, you was supposed to wake me up after a few hours," I say.

"For what? Nothing's going on here," he says. "Besides, I like watching you sleep. You don't scowl as much. It improves your looks."

This, of course, brings on a scowl that makes him grin. "I'm only teasing, Kat," he says. "You're beautiful no matter what."

It's the first time he's ever said I was beautiful and it brings heat to my cheeks. This only causes him to grin more. "The nickname again?" I ask.

"Yes, I like Kat. Do you?" He asks.

"Well, it's better than Cookie." I say. No one's ever called me Kat before, the only nickname I've ever had is 'Catnip' from Gale. Peeta giving me a nickname makes me smile slightly, something that only he will call me. I kiss him, my way of thanking him but I find that his lips are dry and his skin is as hot as it was last night. He claims he's been drinking the water, but the bottle is still full. I give him a few pills, standing over him while he takes them and then two liters of water. Apparently, my scowl persuades him just as much as kisses. Then I tend to his minor wounds, the burns and stings that are starting to improve. I then start to unwrap his leg, my heart beaten fast.

My heart drops. It's much worse. I have to do everything I can to hide the fear from my face. There's thankfully no more pus, but the swelling has increased and the tight shiny skin is inflamed. But that's not even the worse part. Red streaks are starting to crawl up his skin. Blood poisoning. It will defiantly kill him for sure. The thought makes my body shake. The chewed-up-leaves won't do anything for this. We're going to need some kind of medication from Haymitch, an anti-infection drug from the Capitol. But the Gamemaker's won't allow Haymitch.

I have to swallow the tears and pull myself together before I can face Peeta. "Well, there's more swelling, but the pus is gone," I say.

"I know what blood poisoning is, Kat," says Peeta. The name now breaks my heart, how long will I get to hear him call me that? How am I supposed to save him if the Gamemaker's won't allow me? They want to take everything from me. "Even if my mother isn't a healer."

"You're just going to have to outlast the others, Peeta. They'll cure it back in the Capitol when we win," I say, the only thing I'm clinging onto right now.

"Yes, that's a good plan," he says and I know it's mostly for my benefit.

"You have to eat. Keep your strength up. I'm going to make soup and you're going to eat every bit of it." I tell him.

"Don't light a fire," he says. "It's not worth it."

"We'll see," I say. He looks at me sympathetically and I give him a kiss before taking the pots out to the stream. He's given up. It pains me as well as the thought that he could possibly die. Out of everything, it had to be something like this that stopped me from saving him. Something I'm completely helpless in. Outside the temperature has increased again, but the temperature gives me an idea.

After purifying half a pot of water, I place it in direct sunlight and add several egg sized stones to the water. I'm not much of a cook, but since soup is just tossing everything into the pot and waiting, it's the better option. I mince the groosling since it's practically mush and mash some of Rue's roots. Fortunately, they only need to be heated up as they've already been roasted. The water is already warm from the sun and rocks, so I add the groosling and roots. I then go to find something green to spice it up with, where soon I find a tuft of chives growing at some rocks. Swapping the rocks, and closing the lid, I let it boil.

I've spotted a few game around and I don't want to leave Peeta, so I set a few snares up in the bushes. I wonder how the other tributes are doing with food, I know Thresh would be fine, but the others, who were relying on supplies. Then I sit at the lake waiting for the soup to be ready. I don't know what I'm going to do. How I'm supposed to keep Peeta alive until the end. But I can't lose him. They can't take him away from me. If the Gamemaker's are wanting a tragic ending for us then I will make sure they won't get it.

I hate being alone left with my thoughts and feelings, so I decide to go check on Peeta. Seeing him alive will put everything at ease for now. He's not looking great and I put a few strips of damp bandages on his head.

"Do you want anything?" I ask.

"No," he says. "Wait, yes. Tell me a story."

"A story? What about?" I say. I think of Rue and how I sung her to sleep and I can't help but think that I'm telling Peeta a story for him to sleep. No, he just wants a story. I'm not much of a storyteller, either, but occasionally Prim gets one out of me.

"Something happy. Tell me the happiest day you can remember," says Peeta.

I let out a long sigh of exasperation. This will require a lot more effort than the soup. A happy story? A lot of them involve me and Gale hunting, but I doubt Peeta wants to hear about any of those, or the audience. I'm going to have to tell one about Prim.

"Did I ever tell you how I got Prim's goat?" I ask and Peeta shakes his head. I know I'm going to have to be careful with what I say, people can work out that I hunt illegally, but I don't want Gale or Greasy Sae or anyone at home to get in trouble.

"I had been saving for a while, selling a few things to people around town," I say, leaving out how really I went out, with Gale, to hunt game and gather what I could find to trade with. "At first I thought why not go to the bakery and see if I can buy any of the cakes or cookies. Prim would love that and buying something from your bakery when you was there was exciting to think about." I know I'm blushing. "I would sit and imagine Prim's face when she ate one of your cakes or just hold them in her hands. But then I would also imagine buying them, would you talk to me or would I talk to you? Would we touch? When I looked into the window and saw you working with your father, I couldn't do it." This is making me look weak, but I know the audience will be loving it.

Peeta squeezes my hand. "You should have just come in. I would have baked Prim a birthday cake."

"Well at the time I was too scared. I had spent all those years at a distance, the idea of talking to you had me nervous," I say.

Peeta smiles, "what happened next?"

I continue, "So, instead I left you and the cakes behind. I then thought I could get some nice material for a dress, but then something caught my eye. The goat man was milking a goat, but she was laying on the cart her shoulder bitten by something and was infected. I knew someone who could fix it. I walked over to him and brought a glass of milk, watching the goat curiously. He told me to wait around as the butcher was coming to take her. When she came she cancelled the deal, saying how she wouldn't be able to get any meat out of her and as she left she winked at me. She let me have her. I made a deal with the goat man and then a man helped me carry her home. You should have seen Prim's reaction, though, she had cried over our cat Buttercup, but she got so excited and started to cry and laugh at once. I had even managed to get a pink ribbon on the goat. Mom didn't seem to like the idea but the two of them worked on fixing her back together. Prim had insisted on sleeping with Lady that night, both of them sleeping next to the fire. Lady had licked her cheek as if it was a goodnight kiss. Now Lady is even healthier as she was with the goat man being in Prim's hands." I finish.

"Was it still wearing the pink ribbon?" he asks.

"I think so," I say. "Why?"

"I'm just trying to get a good picture," he says. "I can see why that day made you happy."

"Well, I knew that goat would be a little gold mine," I say.

"Yes, of course I was referring to that, not the lasting joy you gave the sister you love so much that you take her place in the reaping," says Peeta drily.

"That goat _has_ paid for itself. Several times over," I say in a superior voice.

"Well, it wouldn't dare do anything else after you saved its life," says Peeta. "I intend to do the same thing."

"Really? What did you cost me again?" I ask.

"A lot of trouble. Don't worry. You'll get it all back." He says.

"You're not making any sense," I say testing his forehead again. My hand still comes away hot. "You're a little cooler, though."

The sound of the trumpets startle me. I'm up on my feet at the mouth the cave fast, not wanting to miss a single word to what Claudius Templesmith is saying. He's inviting us to a feast, but no ordinary feast. Something that we all need desperately. Now I know why the Gamemaker's wouldn't allow Haymitch to send Peeta's medicine, it's because they were saving it for the feast. I have to get it. Claudius even reminds us that this is our last chance. Either I get it or die and then Peeta dies with me.

I jump as Peeta grips my shoulder from behind, "No," he says. "You're not risking your life for me."

I settle him back down to bed, but he keeps his arms wrapped round me, holding me close. "Who said I was?" I say.

"So you're not going?" He asks relieved.

"Of course I'm not going. Give me some credit. Do you think I'm willing to run straight into a free-for-all against Cato and Clover and Thresh? Don't be stupid," I say, pushing his hair away from his eyes and then resting my hand on his cheek. "I'll let them fight it out. We'll see who's in the sky tomorrow night and then were work out a plan." I kiss him to try and distract him and make him forget about it. It doesn't work.

He smiles against my lips and grips my wrists lightly, pulling them down to his chest. "You're such a bad liar, Kat. I don't know how you've survived this long." He begins to mimic me. "_I knew that goat would be a little gold mine. You're a little cooler, though. Of course I'm not going._" He shakes his head. "Never gamble cards. You'll lose your last coin." He says.

Anger heats my face. "All right, I am going and you can't stop me!"

"I can follow-you. At least partway. I may not make it to the cornucopia, but if I'm yelling your name, I bet someone can find me. And then I'll be dead for sure." He says.

"You won't get a hundred meters from here on that leg," I say.

"Then I'll drag myself," he says. "You go and I'm going, too."

I know he will as well. He's stubborn enough and maybe just strong enough to do it. Then I won't be saving him, we would both die for no reason. But it's our only chance. I'm going even if I have to tie him up in here. But I fall into his chest, wrapping my arms tightly around him.

"What am I supposed to do? Sit here and watch you die?" I groan. His arms wrap around me, trying to soothe me as if it's all right if he dies. It isn't and it never will be. I love him too much to accept that.

"I won't die. I promise. If you promise not to go," he says and kisses the top of my head.

"But the medicine can save you," I whisper as a protest.

"I'll hold on and then the Captiol can do what they have to do," he tells me.

"I can't lose you," My voice breaks.

"You won't. I promise." He says burying his head in my hair. I can feel his heart beating underneath me and I wonder how long it will last. Can he hold on enough until the end? Or am I gambling everything? We need that medicine and his promises won't stop me from going.

"Then you have to do what I say. Drink your water, wake me when I tell you, and eat every bite of the soup, no matter how disgusting it is!" I sit up, glaring at him.

"Agreed. Is it ready?" He asks.

"Wait here," I say. The air outside has gone cold, but the soup is still warm and surprisingly doesn't taste too bad. Peeta eats without a fuss, even scraping out every last drop to keep his end of the deal. He's going on about how delicious it was and I give him some more fever tablets just in case he's losing it slightly.

Then I go down to the stream to wash up. I notice how my hands are shaking and my heart is beating faster than usual. If I don't go to the feast then Peeta is going to die. If I don't go then I won't save him and he would die on my hands. Then a parachute comes and I reach for it, hoping that its Peeta's medicine, hoping that the Gamemaker's have shown us mercy. It isn't. But it's the next best thing. It's got a sweet scent and I know its sleep syrup that my mother sometimes uses on patients. A vial like this could knock Peeta out for a whole day. That's more than I need.

I mash up some berries, trying to hide the taste of the syrup and then add a few mint leaves for good measure. Peeta is still sitting up when I enter the cave. "I've brought you a treat. I found a new patch of berries a little further downstream."

Peeta opens his mouth for the first bite without hesitation. It takes everything in me not to smile. He swallows, frowning slightly. "They're very sweet."

"Yes, they're sugar berries. My mother makes jam from them. Haven't you had them before?" I ask, poking some more into his mouth. I'm trying to do it slowly but I need to get as many in before he realizes.

"No," he says puzzled and then I shovel another load in. "But they taste familiar. Sugar berries?"

"Well, you can't get them in the market much. They only grow wild," I say. Another mouthful, just one more to go.

"They're sweet as syrup," he says, taking the last mouthful as I smile. "Syrup." His eyes widen as he realizes the truth. I clamp my hands over his mouth and nose, forcing him to swallow. He tries to vomit it back up, but it's too late, he's already losing consciousness. It pains me to see the anger in his eyes as he slips away. I did the right thing.

I watch him for a while, the sadness of what I did but the happiness of going to get the medicine. He will never forgive me if I die or survive, but it would have been worth it. A berry sticks to his chin and I gently wipe it away. "Who can't lie, Peeta?" I say, even though he can't hear me, and kiss his cheek.

**(A/N): Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please do tell me what you think. I don't know where Peeta giving Katniss a nickname came from but I kind of like it. I'm going to try and write as many chapters as I can this week, so I think the next one will be Monday and then whenever. **

**If anyone has any ideas they want to happen in the next few chapters or in Catching Fire or Mockingjay let me know and I'll try adding them in. **


	13. Medicine

**(A/N): I finished this one earlier then planned, so I thought why not share it early with you? Hope you enjoy it.**

Chapter 13: Medicine.

With the remaining time I have I try to camouflage the cave as best as I can, wouldn't want anyone finding Peeta while I'm not around. I'm gathering rocks up and when I'm done the cave just looks like a pile of rocks, but I'm still able to crawl to Peeta through a hole that doesn't look detectable from the outside. And if I don't make it back then Peeta won't be imprisoned, but he won't live for much longer. There is a lot of pressure. I have to get the medicine and survive.

I make a small meal out of the smaller bonier fish from the stream and purify all the pots of water, before cleaning my weapons. I have nine arrows left. I think about leaving the knife with Peeta but there's no point when he's hidden away and unconscious. I will be back before he wakes up.

I'm certain Cato, Clove and Thresh will join the feast. I'm not sure about Foxface as it doesn't seem her style. She'll probably be hiding around the tree-lines, seeing what she can scavenge. But the other three are a lot bigger than I am, a lot stronger and more skilled. I only have the advantage of distance with my bow and arrow, but even then I'm going to have to go in and get the backpack.

I watch the sky in hope one person was killed, but no one appears. Tomorrow the Capitol will be thirsty for blood, perhaps even thirsty for me to get Peeta's medicine. The only hope for the star-crossed lovers. It's my only hope of saving Peeta, that bag is worth more than my life.

I crawl into the cave, placing on my glasses, and curl up next to Peeta. Luckly, thanks to Peeta, I had that long sleep today so now I can stay up and keep watch before leaving. I don't think anyone would risk attacking our cave tonight, but I don't want to take any chances.

I curl right up to Peeta, wanting to absorb all of he's fever heat to protect me from the cold night. He's completely knocked out, just laying their asleep and I've never felt so lonely. Having him with me but so far away like he's out of my reach. This is going to be a long night.

The weather only gets colder and I find myself wrapping up even closer to Peeta if that's even possible. I think about whether my mother and Prim are sleeping or are they up worried about me. Prim likely won't be going to school tomorrow, so they could either watch the feast in privacy at home on our static-filled television or have the support in the square. I wonder if the Baker has sought them out, especially now that Peeta and I are – what? What are we? I look down to him, watching his peaceful face and wonder what we possibly are. Before there was only the now, we both knew there was nothing for us in the future with only their being one winner, but now we both can win. I've never wanted any of this before the games and now I don't know what I want for the future. But, right now, I need to focus on saving him. Worry about the future later and focus on the present.

I close my eyes thinking about the people in District 12 cheering us on instead. Greasy Sae, Madge and even the Peackeepers, who buy my meat, cheering us on to come home. And Gale. I know he won't be cheering and shouting, but he will be watching every moment, willing for me to come home. I wonder if he's cheering for Peeta as well.

The moon slowly makes its way across the sky and by the time where I predict its three hours before dawn, I start to prepare to leave. First, I make sure to leave Peeta some water and the medical kit beside him. These won't keep him alive if I don't return but at least it's something. Then, after some debate, I strip him of his jacket and zip it over my own. He won't need it with his fever and the sleeping bag. My hands are stiff from the cold, so I pull out Rue's spare pair of socks, cutting holes for my fingers and thumbs. I fill her small pack with food, a water bottle and bandages, tuck the knife into my belt and get my bow and arrows. Before I leave, I lean over Peeta and give him a long kiss. "I'll be back. I promise." I whisper. It takes a lot to hold back the tears.

Then I leave. I imagine the Capitols cries and sighs over my small goodbye and promise. But I did it for him, not them. It's as cold as winter outside, even my breath makes small white clouds. The glasses are a huge help in the dark, especially when I don't have the use of my left ear. I make my way back up stream and follows Rue's path back to the hiding place near the lake. There's no one around along the way, not a breath in the sky or a snapping branch. Either I'm the first one here or others came last night. I wiggle into the underbrush, still an hour or two early. Now I can only wait for the blood to begin to flow.

I chew a few mint leaves; a distraction from my mind worrying about Peeta, but it doesn't work. The jacket isn't much help, either. Not with his scent smelling strong. The sky slowly turns to a misty grey and no one can be seen. It doesn't surprise me, really. I wonder if Cato thinks I'll have Peeta with me and hopes that will weaken me like he thought it would. I doubt Thresh and Foxface even know he's injured, which gives me an advantage of them thinking he's covering for me when I go to get the backpack.

The arena is light enough to remove my glasses, but there are no backpacks to be found. The morning birds begin to sing and I start to panic about being in the wrong place. But I'm sure this was where Claudius Templesmith said. If so, then where is the feast? Just as the sun begins to gleam on the cornucopia, the ground begins to shuffle and the ground splits into two, where a round table rises. On the table sit four backpacks, two large ones with the numbers 2 and 11, a medium sized green one with the number 5 and then a tiny orange one with the number 12. Peeta's medicine.

The table has just gone into place when a figure darts out, grabbing the number 5 bag and already running towards the forest. Foxface! I'm shocked for a moment over her clever risky plan. I could have shot her down, but that would have exposed me. No one else moves and no one wants to chase her down when their packs sit vulnerably on the table. She didn't take anyone else's packs, knowing that then she would defiantly have someone chasing her. The others may be stronger and bigger than me, but perhaps Foxface is the main opponent here.

It's clear that I have to get to the table next, otherwise they will snatch up Peeta's medicine knowing how costly it is. I sprint to the table, knowing this is my only shot. The emergence of a dagger catches my attention and am able to deflect it with my bow. I turn, drawing back my bow string and aim the arrow at Clove's heart. She turns, missing the fatal hit and my arrow punchers her left arm. Unfortunately, she throws with her right arm but it's enough to slow her down for the moment, to pull the arrow from her arm. I keep moving, positioning my next arrow ready.

My fingers are reaching out and then they close around the small orange bag. I yank it over my arm, turning to fire again and then the second blade catches me in the forehead. It slices down my right eyebrow, opening a gash that blinds me with the blood. It's a constant flow, running down my face and into my mouth, leaving that metallic taste. I take a step back, sending my arrow at my assailant, knowing it will miss as soon as it leaves. And then Clove slams into my, sending me to the ground and pinning me down by the shoulders.

I have the medicine and now I'm going to die. I've failed at saving Peeta and what's worse is that his death will be on my hands, but he will also die alone. I'm hoping for Prim's sake it will be quick but knowing Clove, she will want to savour this moment. If Peeta does manage to hold on till the end, he will be forced to watch my brutal death.

"Where's your boyfriend, District twelve? Still hanging on?" She asks.

"He's out there now. Hunting Cato," I snarl and then I scream from the top of my lungs. "Peeta!" But of course he won't be there to rescue me, I'll never see him again.

Clove jams her fist into my windpipe, cutting of my voice. Her head is twisting from side to side, watching me carefully and waiting for Peeta to come. He doesn't, of course.

"Liar," she says with a smile. "He's nearly dead. Cato knows where he cut him. You've got him strapped up in some tree while you try to keep his heart going. What's in the pretty little backpack? That medicine for Lover Boy? Too bad he'll never get it."

Clove opens her jacket showing a display of all different kinds of shapes and sizes of knives. She selects an almost dainty-looking number with a cruel, curved blade. I sure hope Gale or someone takes my sister far away. And I'm sure glad Peeta isn't here to see this. "I promised Cato if he let me have you, I'd give the audience a good show."

I'm struggling in effort to unset her, but she is heavy and has me locked down. "Forget it, District twelve. We're going to kill you. Just like we did your pathetic little ally… what was her name? The one who hopped around in the trees? Well, first Rue, then you, and then I'll think we'll just let nature take care of Lover Boy. How does that sound?" Clove asks. "Now, where to start?"

She carelessly wipes the blood away from my face and tilts my head left to right like she is trying to decide where to carve first. I attempt to bit her hand and she stops me, pulling my hair back to force me back onto the ground. "I think…" she almost purrs. "I think we'll start with your mouth." I clamp my teeth together as she teasingly traces my lips with the edge of her knife.

The fury of the comment about Rue and the fury about not being able to save Peeta keeps my eyes open. As my last act of defiance, for both of them, I will stare her down for as long as I can but by thinking about what she's about to do, I know I won't last long.

"Yes, I don't think you'll have much use for your lips any more. Want to blow Lover Boy one last kiss?" She asks and I work up as much blood and saliva, spitting it at her. Her face flushes with rage. "All right, then. Let's get started."

I brace myself for the agony that is about to happen. Thinking about the small time I have spent with Peeta and how the final granules of sand are slipping through my hands. As I feel the first cut on my lip a heavy force lifts Clove of me. And then she's screaming. I'm too stunned for a moment, unable to process what happened. I push myself up, finding Clove a foot above the ground imprisoned in Thresh's arms. The sight of him towering over me, Clove a rag doll in his arms, makes me gasp in shock. He's seemed to have gotten bigger since joining the arena. He flips her around, slamming her into the ground.

His loud voice makes me jump, completely different from the quiet voice. "What'd you do to that little girl? You kill her?"

Clove is scrambling around on the floor, too shocked to even call for Cato or to do anything. Her eyes are wide with fear. "No! No, it wasn't me!"

"You said her name. I heard you. You kill her?" Rage fills his face again and I have to back up a step, but I don't dare run. He'll catch me before I even get anywhere. "You cut her up like you was going to cut up this girl here?"

"No! No, I –" Clove sees the stone in Thresh's hand and loses it. "Cato!" she screeches. "Cato!"

"Clove!" I hear his voice, but he is too far away to save her. What was he doing? Searching for Foxface or Peeta? Looking for Thresh and misjudged his location?

Thresh brings the rock down hard against Clove's skull, creating a dent like shape. It doesn't bleed but the only sign of life in her is the rise and fall of her chest, as well as the small moan that escapes. She's a goner.

Thresh turns to me, the rock still in his hand and my bow is empty. No point in running or doing anything. I'm trapped in the glare of his golden-brown eyes. "What'd she mean? About Rue being your ally?"

"I – I – we teamed up. Blew up the supplies. I tried to save her, I did. But he got there first. District one," I say. I'm hoping that if I tell him I save Rue he will make it a quick easy death for me.

"And you killed him?" he demands.

"Yes. I killed him. And buried her in flowers," I say. "And sang her to sleep." The emotions of losing Rue, knowing I've lost Peeta if I die and the tension of the fight bring tears to my eyes.

"To sleep?" Thresh says gruffly.

"To death. I sang until she died." I say. "Your district… they sent me bread." My hand reaches up to wipe my nose. "Do it fast, OK, Thresh?"

He lowers the rock, pointing at me accusingly with a conflicted confession on his face. "Just this one time, I let you go. For the little girl. You and me, we're even then. No more owned. You understand?"

I nod understanding. About owing and about hating it. If Thresh wins then he would have to go home and face his District that has already broken the rules to thank me. And I understand, for the moment, that Thresh is not going to bash my skull in. He hasn't just save me; he's save Peeta as well.

"Clove!" Cato shouts and I can tell by the pain that he has seen her body on the ground.

"You better run now, Fire Girl." Thresh says.

I don't have to be told twice. I head straight for the woods, the opposite way from Thresh, Cato's cries and Clove's dying body. Only when I do look back, Thresh has taken both backpacks and has fled for the area I have never seen. Cato has pulled Clove into his lap, begging her to stay with him. But he and I both know she's as good as dead. I take that as my chance to leave and hurry back to Peeta as fast as I can. The blood pours down my face, mixing with the sweat and stinging my eyes.

After a few minutes a cannon goes, signalling that Clove has died. I think about who Cato is going to chase down me or Thresh? But then I remember that Thresh took his backpack so will likely be after him first. And it was him who killed Clove. But, I don't slow down. I splash through the stream, my boots still on and use Rue's socks to try and put pressure on the cut on my head. They soak up within minutes.

I manage to make it back to the cave. I've just got to give Peeta his medicine and then if I'm dying I die, as long as he survives. I pull open the backpack, emptying the contents the ground. One slim box containing a hypodermic needle. Without hesitating, I jam the needle into Peeta's arm and slam down the plunger, watching the medicine go into his bloodstream.

My hands wipe the blood from my head, coming back painted red. Everything starts to spin before going into complete darkness. At least I saved Peeta.

"Katniss," a voice says. "Katniss, can you hear me?"

My eyes open, the roof of the cave appearing above me. Peeta's pale face then slides into view, his expression worried but relieved. "Peeta," I cry in happiness and relief.

"Hey," he says, resting his hand on my cheek. "It's good to see your eyes again."

"How long have I been out?" I ask.

"Not sure. I woke up yesterday evening and you were lying next to me in a very scary pool of blood," he says. "I think it's stopped finally, but I wouldn't sit up or anything."

My hand goes to my head to find that it is bandaged. Peeta holds a bottle to my lips and I drink thirstily. "You're better," I say in relief.

"Much better. Whatever you shot into my arm did the trick," he says. "By this morning, all the swelling in my leg was gone."

I thought he would have had a go at me or would have at least been angry with me for tricking him, drugging him and then running off to the feast, but he doesn't say anything. Maybe I'm just too beat-up at the moment and he'll give it all to me later.

"Did you eat?" I ask, taking his hand.

"I'm sorry to say I gobbled down three pieces of the groosling before I realized it might have to last a while. Don't worry, I'm back on a strict diet," he says.

"No, it's good. You need to eat. I'll go hunting soon," I say.

"Not too soon, all right?" he says. "You just let me take care of you for a while."

He wouldn't take no for an answer. Somehow he even managed to feed me this time, smiling with every glare I gave him and starts rubbing warmth into my feet, wrapping them up in his jacket. The whole time I'm blushing. He seems to enjoy seeing me blush and every time he ends up giving me a kiss. I'm not sure what makes me dizzier the headache I have or every time he kisses me.

"Your boots and socks are still damp and the weather's not helping much," Peeta says. Outside, there's a clap of thunder and then lightning lights up the dark sky. Rain drips through the roof of the cave, but Peeta has made a canopy over my head and body with the plastic sheet. "I wonder what brought on this storm. I mean who's the target?"

"Cato and Thresh," I say without thinking. "Foxface will be in her den somewhere, and Clove… she cut me and then…" my voice trails off.

"I know Clove's dead. I saw her in the sky last night," he says. "Did you kill her?"

"No. Thresh broke her skull with a rock," I say.

Peeta puts his arm around me, pulling me close against him. "Lucky he didn't catch you, too." Says Peeta.

The memory of the feast plays back in a full force. "He did. But he let me go." Then, of course, I have to explain what happened. I have to tell him completely about Rue and the boy from District 1. He presses his lips together when I say about how I told Rue he would win for both of us, but he said, "We will both win for her now." I then tell him about what happened at the feast and how Thresh spared me to pay of his debt to me.

"He let you go because he didn't want to owe you anything?" Peeta asks in disbelief. I'm lying on his chest now, his arms wrapped round me like he's securing me from what happened.

"Yes. I don't expect you to understand it. You've always had enough. But if you'd lived in the Seam, I wouldn't have to explain," I say.

"And don't try. Obviously I'm too dim to get it," Peeta says.

"It's like the bread. How I never seemed to get over owning you for that and –" _loving you for that. _Those words don't come out, I end up biting my lip. I always thought if I could just stay in the distance, loving him from afar and looking out for him I could owe him like that. Owe him the chance of having a better life than being with someone like me from the Seam.

"And what, Kat?" Peeta asks, pulling my head up to meet his eyes. I know I'm blushing and I've never wanted to admit those words to him before, but he must know how I feel. And I especially don't want to admit them in front of an audience. Then I'm thinking about how Peeta whispered them to me, those last words before we were separated.

"Well, you know, that was when I first started to like you," I say. His eyes narrows and I know he knows that wasn't what I was going to say, but he doesn't force it out of me.

"I know. If I had known that then I think I would have ended up chasing you down or maybe even had the courage to talk to you at school," He says.

"I think I would have ended up running from you, anyway," I say with a smile.

"Was I really that scary?" He laughs.

"Terrifying," I say.

His body shakes with his laughter and I smile, knowing I caused that laugh from him. After he gives me one of those sweet shy smiles and I end up kissing him, it's hard not to when he smiles like that.

"So, Cato and Thresh, huh. I guess it's too much to hope that they'll simultaneously destroy each other?" Peeta says.

The thought only upsets me. "I think we would like Thresh. I think he would be our friend back in District twelve," I say.

"Then let's hope Cato kills him, so we don't have to," Peeta says grimly.

But the thing is, I don't want anyone else to die. This is not the thing victors go round saying in the arena. Despite my efforts, the tears are starting to pool in my eyes. I've been more emotional during these games then I have at home.

Peeta looks at me in concern, cupping my cheeks. "What is it? Are you in a lot of pain?"

"I want to go home, Peeta," I say. Now that I know both him and I can go home, together, I want nothing more for it to happen. But I don't want anyone else to die. I've seen too much death.

"You will. I promise," He says and bends down to give me another kiss.

"I want to go home now," I say. "I want to go home with you."

"We'll both go home and then we can be together without anyone splitting us up. How does that sound?" He says with a small smile. "Tell you what. You go back to sleep and dream of home. And you'll be there before you know it. OK?"

"Promise me when we get home you'll never leave me no matter what," I say. I'm panicking now, panicking that when we get home I will lose him or he will realize that he could do better and leave me. But I don't know what I want when we get home. I don't know where we could possibly lead.

He strokes my cheek gently, "I promise, Kat. I will never leave you." He says. "Now go to sleep."

"OK," I whisper, placing my head above his heart as it soothes me off to sleep.

**(A/N): Tension for the end of the Games have begun. What do you think could possibly happen? What will Gale possibly have to say when they go home? I've planned it out and a lot of Drama is going to go down. And I've planned Catching Fire out and the ideas I have for that is going to be some emotionally good and heart breaking. Please do tell me what you thought about this chapter. I love seeing what you think. Next one could be whenever, tomorrow or Tuesday.**


	14. Thunderstorms

**(a/n): Hope you all enjoyed the last chapter. The response to Gale was great. Yes, there will be Gale wanting Katniss in future chapters (actually, he'll be coming in pretty soon) but let's guide him towards a brighter light? **

**Chapter 14: Thunderstorms.**

Peeta wakes me up around evening time. Outside, the rain is pouring down and is leaking through the roof of the cave. He's put the broth pot under the worst hole and then repositioned the plastic sheet so I don't get wet. I'm feeling a bit better, only a little dizzy when I sit up. But my stomach is rumbling and I know Peeta's is as well. There's not much food left. Only two pieces of groosling, a handful of roots and a handful of dried fruit.

"Should we try and ration it?" Peeta asks.

"No, let's just finish it. The groosling's getting old anyway, and the last thing we need to get sick off spoiled food." I say, dividing the food up into two equal piles. We try to eat slowly, but we're both hungry and both finish quicker than planned. My stomach is still rumbling, unsatisfied.

"Tomorrows hunting day," I say.

"I won't be much help with that," Peeta says. "I've never hunted before."

I smile. "I'll kill and you cook," I say. "And you can always gather."

"I wish there was some sort of bread bush out there," Peeta says making me laugh.

"The bread they sent me from District eleven was still warm," I say with a sigh. "Here, chew these." I hand him a few mint leaves, putting some in my own mouth.

The anthem plays and the projection appears. It's hard to see but it's obvious that there was no deaths today. Cato and Thresh haven't had it out yet.

"I wonder what we'd have to do to get Haymitch to send us some bread," says Peeta. My cheeks blush slightly, knowing that the audience sponsor us because of the romance. Peeta seems to know as his hand finds mine, his thumb traces circles on my palm.

"Well, he probably used up a lot of resources helping me knock you out," I say mischievously.

"Yeah about that," Peeta says, bringing my hand up to his lips. "Don't try something like that again."

"Or what?" I ask.

"Or… or…" he can't think of anything good. "Just give me a minute."

"What's the problem?" I say with a grin and elbow him slightly, teasing him.

"The problem is we're both still alive. Which only reinforces the idea in your mind that you did the right thing," says Peeta.

"I did do the right thing," I say.

"No! Just don't, Katniss!" There's real anger in his voice and his grip on my hand tightens, hurting me. I've never seen him angry like this and I move towards him, wanting to comfort him. "Don't die for me. You won't be doing me any favours. All right?"

"Then don't die for me!" I snap. "You would have done it for me, wouldn't you? You even sacrificed yourself for me!"

"I delayed Cato so you could get far away," he says.

"By sacrificing yourself!" I pull my hand from his, angry with him. I turn away, watching the rain drip down instead of looking at him. "Why? Why did you do that?" I ask but of course I know why.

"Because I love you." He says. "Why did you?"

"I… I… because," I try, but I can't. My body turns, my eyes flicker to his and the words are on my tongue, ready to be said but they won't come out. I'm afraid of him dying if I admit those words, afraid that something will happen to split us up again and I don't want the audience to know. They must be all on the edges of their seats, wanting me to say those three words but all I can manage is silence.

"Because what, Kat?" He asks. I can see the pain starting to build in his eyes, could he really be doubting my feelings?

"I'm no good at this," I say.

"Good at what?" Peeta asks.

"Saying what I want to say," I look down.

He reaches out, pulling me onto his lap, so I'm straddling his hips and leans in to whisper in my ear, "You don't have to say anything." He leans back to kiss my nose, before my cheek and then he trails kisses to my lips. This seems a bit much when the cameras are on us; I don't want to stop him. His kisses always leave me gasping and wanting for more. His hands wrap around my waist, our chests pressing against each others.

"I think your wound is bleeding again. Come on, lie down, its bed time anyway," he says, gently tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. I close my eyes for a second, remembering how I did that to Rue and all the times to Prim.

My socks are dry enough to wear and I make Peeta take his jacket back. We both climb into the sleeping bag together, me resting on his arm. It's strange, but ever since coming to the Capitol and the Hunger Games, I've felt safer than I have since my father died, being with Peeta and in his arms. I take the first watch, wearing the glasses and watching the drops as they fall. But after a few hours, I have to wake Peeta because I can't keep my eyes open any longer. He doesn't seem to mind.

"Tomorrow, when it's dry, I'll find us a place so high in the trees we can both sleep in peace," I promise as I drift off.

But the weather doesn't change. The thunder claps louder and the rain falls heavier like it's trying to wash us away. Perhaps that's what they're doing. There's no point in heading out, we won't be able to find anything to eat or see where we're going. Instead, we stay curled up in the corner together, ignoring how our stomachs rumble.

I wonder what Haymitch could possibly be doing. Surely, we must have enough sponsors to get one meal, but he doesn't send anything. How is this keeping his end of the promise? But then I think about Peeta's medicine and how the Gamemaker's wouldn't allow him. Are they not letting him?

"Tell me a story. Your happiest moment." I say needing something to distract me from the hunger.

He chuckles lightly. "But I've already told you about the time I first saw you," he says.

I hit him lightly on his chest, smiling and blushing. Was that really the happiest moment for him? "No, seriously. What was it?" I ask.

"Other than the first time I saw you? Or our first kiss on the roof? Or when you found my dying body?" he says.

"All right. I get it. Your happiest moments are with me or to do with me," I say kissing him on the cheek.

"Can't get much happier than that, can it?" He says. And I can't help but think about how the Hunger Games kind of ruins the happiness when people are always dying around us.

"Don't you have any other happy moments?" I ask.

"All right. A happy moment." He pauses for a while to think. There must be something else other than me. He has a family, brothers, I know his mother is a witch, but still. "There was this one time in school," he begins. "I was sitting with my friends at our table at lunch. You was the other side sitting with Madge. The two of you were eating silently, like you did every day." I touch the Mockingjay badge, remembering that I have it because of Madge. My friend I never thought I had. "Delly would tease me about watching you and the others would laugh. It didn't bother me, though."

"And that's your happy moment? Because no one laughed at you?" I ask confused.

"No. Let me finish," he says. "I don't even think you remember it. But when we walked out, Delly had nudged me, saying your name and you looked up. For a split second you looked at me and smiled, the first time you had ever smiled at me. I remember thinking how I wanted to make you smile like that all the time. Like you are now." I didn't even realize I was smiling, perhaps I didn't realize I was then. Peeta was right, I don't remember that. How many times have I smiled or looked at him without knowing?

"That wasn't a different happy moment," I say.

"You asked if I had any other happy moments other than the ones I listed." He says. Perhaps he does have other happy moments, but he doesn't want to share them. Maybe it's like how I didn't want to tell him about Gale and so he's holding back his happy times with Delly.

"I guess so," I say.

"I guess the happiest moment now would have to be my name being pulled out of the Reaping, otherwise we wouldn't be together," he says.

"But you would be safe at home," I say. If I could have kept him away from here I would have, I would have done anything.

"Safe but not with you," he says.

"Who knows maybe I would have worked up the courage to speak to you," I say but I know I wouldn't have. There is only us now because of the games. If we were still home then our lives would have gone on without each other. I never wanted any of this, not even for him to know my feelings, but now I'm not sure.

"But then I would have had more competition there then here," he says.

I sit up, thinking he's talking about Gale. Does he really think that? "You don't have any competition anywhere," I say and then I lean down to kiss him. Our kiss is longer than any others, but it feels like that every time. We never want it to end and we're only force to end with the clunk of metal. My bow is armed and aimed at the source of the noise, my body half protecting Peeta. There's no other sound and Peeta peers through the rocks, giving a little whoop.

Before I can stop him, he's out in the rain and handing something to me. A silver parachute, attached to a basket. Really, Haymitch? I open it to find fresh rolls, goat's cheese, apples and that incredible lamb stew that I told Caeser I liked.

Peeta wiggles back in, his face as bright as the sun. "I guess Haymitch finally got tired of watching us starve," he says.

Yes, it looks like he has. But why now when he could have sent it earlier? What was holding him back? They have even sent us silverware and plates. I think back to at home when my father was alive and how my parents had eaten together. How my father used to say that he cooked my mother special meals, her favourites. Have they sent us this for the audience more than us? For us to put on a show of our romance?

"We better take it slow on that stew. Remember the first night on the train? The rich food made me sick and I wasn't even starving then," Peeta says.

"You're right. And I could just inhale the whole thing!" I say regretfully. We each have a roll, half an apple and an egg sized serving of egg sized stew and rice. I have to force myself to eat it in small mouthfuls, savoring each bite. "I want more."

"Me, too. Tell you what. We wait an hour; if it stays down, then we get another serving," says Peeta.

"Agreed," I say. "It's going to be a long hour."

"Maybe not that long," says Peeta. "What was that you were saying just before the food arrived? Something about me… no competition… best thing that ever happened to you…"

"I don't remember that last part," I say, blushing slightly as he grins.

"Oh, that's right. That's what _I _was thinking," he says. "Scoot over, I'm freezing."

I make room for him and we lean back against the cave wall, he puts his arms around me, allowing me to snuggle closer to him. What he doesn't realize is that what he's thinking is correct. He and what he did for me is the best thing that ever happened to me. "So, since we were five, you've never even noticed any other girls?" the words leave my mouth before I can't stop them.

"No, I noticed just about every girl, but none of them made a lasting impression but you," he says.

"I'm sure that will thrill your parents, you liking a girl from the Seam," I say.

"More like loving," he says, causing me to blush, again. "But, hardly. I couldn't care less. Anyway, if we make it back, you'll be a girl from the Victor's Village."

That's right. If we win Peeta and I will be living only a house away from each other. We've spent our lives so far apart from each other for us to be brought closer. The thought excites me but scares me, as well.

But then a disturbing thought distracts me, "But then, our only neighbor will be Haymitch!"

"Ah, that'll be nice," he says, squeezing me gently. "You and me and Haymitch –"

I cut in, "Let's not forget Prim and my mother."

"Of course. All of us. Very cosy. Picnics, birthdays, long winter nights around the fire retelling old the Hunger Games tales." But then I am thinking about the distant future, how, if were still together and survive, the kids will come along and be chosen for the Reapings. The thought scares me, this is why I told Gale I never wanted to get married or have kids. That was one of the reasons why I never spoke to Peeta, I didn't want to be caught up in anything and now here we are.

"Haymitch hates me!" I say, trying to bring the conversation away from the future. It's a good job Peeta can't see my face at the moment.

"Only sometimes. When he's sober, I've never heard him say one negative thing about you," says Peeta.

"He's never sober!" I protest.

"That's right. Who am I thinking of? Oh, I know. It's Cinna who likes you. But that's mainly because you didn't run when he tried to set you on fire," says Peeta. "On the other hand, Haymitch… well, if I were you, I'd avoid Haymitch completely. He hates you."

"I thought you said I was his favourite," I say.

"He hates me more," says Peeta. But it's not about who Haymitch favors or hates because he's promised no matter what to keep Peeta alive. "I don't think people in general are his sort of thing."

It's been about half an hour and Peeta and I give in, our stomachs begging for more. While I'm dishing up two more small servings of lamb stew, the anthem begins to play outside. Peeta puts his eye up to the hole to look out.

"There won't be anything to see tonight," I say. "Nothing's happened or we would have heard the cannon."

"Katniss," Peeta says quietly.

"What? She would split another roll, too?" I ask.

"Katniss," he repeats, but I'm too focused on the food. For some reason I don't want to hear what he wants to tell me.

"I'm going to split one. But I'll save the cheese for tomorrow," I say. I look up to see Peeta is staring at me. "What?"

"Thresh is dead," Peeta says.

"He can't be," I say.

"They must have fired the cannon during the thunder and we missed it," says Peeta.

"Are you sure? I mean, its pouring buckets out there. I don't know how you can see out there," I say. But when I peer out at the dark, rainy sky, I catch a glimpse of Thresh's projection in the sky for about ten seconds before it is gone.

He's dead. I slump against the rock, not sure why I'm not happy about it. It's one more tribute down to getting Peeta home safely. But all I can think about is Thresh letting me go and Rue curled up with the spear in her stomach.

"You all right?" Ask Peeta, placing his hand on my shoulder.

I give a shrug and hug my elbows close to my body, wanting to bury the pain deeply away. "It's just… if we didn't win… I wanted Thresh to. Because he let me go. And because of Rue," I say.

"Yeah, I know," says Peeta, kissing the top of my head. Then he bends down to pick up one of the plates, handing it to me. "But this means we're one step closer to District twelve. Eat. It's still warm."

I sit back down on the sleeping back, starting to chew on the lamb stew again but it's like glue. "It also means Cato will be back hunting us."

"And he's got supplies again," says Peeta.

"He'll be wounded, I bet," I say.

"What makes you say that?" Peeta asks.

"Because Thresh would have never gone down without a fight. He's so strong, I mean, he was. And they was in his territory," I say.

"Good," says Peeta. "The more wounded Cato is the better. I wonder how Foxface is making out."

"Oh, she's fine," I say, somehow still angry that I didn't come up with the idea of hiding in the cornucopia. "Probably be easier to catch Cato than her."

"Maybe they'll catch each other and we could just go home," says Peeta. "But we better be extra careful about the watches. I dozed off a few times."

"Me, too," I admit. "But not tonight."

After we've finished the food, Peeta offers to take the first watch. I don't deny and bury down in the sleeping bag next to him, our hands staying entwined. If we do win, and we will, I'll do something for Rue's and Thresh's families.

When Peeta wakes me with a kiss, he's holding out half a roll with the spread cheese and topped with apple slices. "Don't be mad," he says. "I had to eat. Here's your half."

"Oh, good," I say taking a bite from the roll, my mouth filling with the sweet cheesy goodness. "Mm."

"We make a goat's cheese and apple tart at the bakery," says Peeta.

"Bet that's expensive," I say.

"Too expensive for my family to eat. Unless it's gone very stale. Of course, everything we eat is practically stale," says Peeta and then he kisses my cheek before sliding into my sleeping bag.

I always thought Peeta and the other shopkeepers always had it easy. Yes, he's always had food on the table, but it's depressing how he's lived on stale hard bread all his life. That and the game I trade with his father. The downpour stops and from the hole I can see the full moon. How long have we been in here? I'm guessing we've been in here for about two weeks and then there was that week before the games.

The sun eventually rises, finishing a long dull night. I lean over Peeta, gently shaking his shoulder to wake him up. He pulls me down for a long kiss. "We're wasting hunting time," I say with a sigh.

"I wouldn't call it wasting," he says and kisses the top of my nose and then my forehead. "So do we hunt on empty stomachs to give us an edge?"

"Not us," I say. "We stuff ourselves to give us staying power."

"Count me in," he says. But he's surprised when I divide the rest of the stew and rice and hand it to him. "All this?"

"We'll earn it back today," I say. Even cold, it's still the best meal I have ever had. I never thought how much I would miss lamb stew before. Even after, I scrape up the remaining gravy with my fingers. "I can feel Effie shuddering at my manners."

"Hey, Effie, watch this!" says Peeta. He tosses the fork behind his shoulder and then licks his plate clean. After, he blows a kiss in general to her and calls, "We miss you, Effie."

I cover his mouth with my hand, but he falls with me landing on top of him. I am laughing, my hand still covering his mouth. "Stop! Cato could be right outside our cave."

He grabs my hand away, placing it above his heart. "What do I care? I've got you to protect me." His hand rests on my hip, holding me down against him.

"Remember there's cameras around and my mother is at home watching," I remind him and I can hear the Capitol's laughs. But then I really wonder what my mother is thinking.

Peeta only laughs. "Am I supposed to fear your mother?" he asks.

"I'm not sure," I say. "But come on." He still holds me down, wanting another kiss before we start packing to leave. But when we get outside, the playfulness is over. I hand Peeta my knife, wanting him to have something to protect him. Seven arrows is all I have left and I can't afford to lose any more.

"He'll be hunting us by now," says Peeta. "Cato isn't one to wait for his prey to wander."

"If he's wounded –" I begin.

"I don't think it would mater," Peeta says.

The streams have overflowed on either side of the bank. We both refill our water and I check the snares that I set days ago. As expected, they appear empty. I haven't seen any signs of animals in this area.

"If we want food, we better head back up to my old hunting grounds," I say.

"Your call, just tell me what you need me to do," says Peeta.

"Keep an eye out," I say. "Stay on the rocks as much as possible; no sense in leaving him tracks to follow. And listen for both of us."

The rocks slowly decrease to pebbles and then to the pine needles, back to the forest. But, I notice a problem, Peeta may have a bad leg but his foot prints are loud. Loud enough to scare away any game. It's like he's stomping his feet. I turn to look at him.

"What?" He asks.

"You've got to move more quietly," I say. "Forget about Cato, you're chasing off every rabbit in a fifteen-kilometer radius."

"Really?" he says. "Sorry, I didn't know."

We start moving again, he's a tiny bit better but even with my one ear I can still hear him. "Can you take of you boots?" I suggest.

"Here?" he asks in disbelief. I have to remind myself that he's isn't use to being out in the woods. Something inside me twists as I know Gale would be laughing at Peeta at home.

"Yes," I say patiently. "I will, too. That way we'll both be quieter." I've been in the woods for years, like I was making any noise. We both strip down our boots and socks. But even bootless, I swear he's trying to snap every branch we encounter.

It takes several hours for us to reach my old camp with Rue. And during that time I've shot nothing. If the stream calmed down, then fish could be an option, but the current is too strong. We stop to rest, drinking some water while I try to think of a solution. The only thing I can think of is leaving Peeta to gather roots from around, but the thought of leaving him makes me nervous. What if something happens? He's only got a knife to defend himself and even that won't be enough against Cato.

"Katniss," he says. "We need to split up. I know I'm chasing away the game."

"Only because your legs hurt," I say sweetly. That's only a small part of the problem.

"I know," he says. "So, why don't you go on? Show me some plants to gather and that way we'll both be useful."

"Not if Cato comes to kill you," I groan.

He just laughs. "Look, I can handle Cato. I fought him before, didn't I?"

And look how he ended up after that. I pull at his jacket lightly. "What if you climbed up in a tree and acted as a lookout while I hunted?" I say, trying to make it sound like an important job.

"What if you show me what's edible around here and go get us some meat," he mimics my tone. "Just don't go far, in case you need help."

I sigh and show him some roots. Am I really going to be risking this? I just hope Cato is far away or if he's nearby that he bumps into me. After, I teach him a whistle – not Rue's one – but a simple two note one. He's good at this. Leaving him with the pack, I head off.

It takes me a while to convince myself that Peeta will be fine and nothing is going to happen to him. Eventually, I have taken down two rabbits and a fat squirrel. This will be enough. If I set some snares and later try the fish, we will have plenty. Especially with Peeta's roots.

I realize we haven't exchanged notes in a while and when I get no response I start running. There has been no cannon, he is fine, he will be fine, and he has to be fine. But, I find the pack, the pile of roots beside it. The sheet of plastic is laid out, a pile of berries laid on top of it. Where is he? "Peeta!" I shout. "Peeta!" I know I'm crying, but, really, I couldn't care.

There's a rustle in the bush and then I almost send an arrow through him. Luckily, I pull the bow back at the last second and the arrow sticks in the oak tree to his left. He jumps back, the berries in his hand drop to the ground. I run to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my head in his chest. He holds me, gently rubbing my back as I cry.

"What are you doing? You're supposed to be here! Not running around in the woods!" My fear is turning into anger. I shouldn't have left him.

"I found some berries down by the stream," he says clearly confused, but he holds me and tries to calm me down.

"I whistled. Why didn't you whistle back? You scared me!" I snap.

"I didn't hear. The water's too loud, I guess." He says and cups my cheeks, forcing me to look up at him. "I'm sorry, Kat."

My body is trembling. "I thought Cato killed you!"

"No, I'm fine." He whispers and wipes the tears away. But I can't stop crying. I pull away, trying to sort my emotions out.

"If two people agree on a signal, they stay in range. Because if one of them doesn't answer, they're in trouble, all right?" I say.

"All right!" He says.

"All right. Because that's what happened with Rue and I watched her die! I can't do that again, especially not with you!" I wipe my own eyes, turning away from him to get the bottle of water out of the bag. My hands are still shaking and I know Peeta feels bad, but I'm not ready to forgive him.

Then I notice the food. The rolls and apples are untouched, but someone's picked away at the cheese. "And you ate without me!" It doesn't bother me, I'm just in a bad mood.

"What? No, I didn't," Peeta says.

"Oh, and I suppose the apples ate the cheese," I say.

"I don't know what ate the cheese," says Peeta slowly as if he's trying not to lose his temper. "But it wasn't me. I've been down by the stream collecting berries. Would you care for some?"

Peeta hands me some of the berries and I take a good look at them. These aren't Rue's berries but they're like the ones from home. My father's voice comes back to me, "Not these, Katniss. Never these. They're nightlock. You'll be dead before they reach your stomach."

Just then, the cannon fires and I whip round to see Peeta is just standing there raising his eyebrows. A hovercraft appears nearby and picks up what's left of Foxface. Her red hair glints in the sunlight. The missing cheese…

Peeta pushes me towards the tree, "Climb. He'll be here in a second. We'll stand a better chance from fighting above."

"Oh, Peeta," I say. "She's your kill, not Cato's."

"What? I haven't seen her since the first day," he says. "How could I have killed her?"

I leave him for not even an hour and he ends up picking poisonous berries. How was he supposed to survive and go home without me? Without me, he would be dead. In answer to his question, I hold out the berries.

**(A/N): Can you believe we're almost done with the Hunger Games? I hope you'll already for an emotional roller coaster of Catching Fire and then Mockingjay! What part are you all looking forward to most? Mines a spoiler so I can't say, but I know you're all going to love it! Please do review and tell me what you think! Next one will be up on Wednesday as I have to start course work... which is analyzing the Catching Fire movie. **


	15. Together

**(a/n): Glad you all enjoyed the last chapter. Happy New Year! I hope everyone has a wonderful evening and thank you so much for all the response this story has gotten! This one. I can't even begin to explain the emotions I had at the end of this chapter. I've never written and cried at the same time before. Good luck.**

**Chapter 15: Together.**

"I wonder how she found us," Peeta says. I'm holding his hands, trying to comfort him in any way that I can. It's the first death on his hands, I hate seeing the shock and sadness in his eyes, as well as the guilt. "My fault, I guess, if I'm as loud as you say."

"And she's very clever, Peeta. Well, she was. Until you outfoxed her." I say. It was likely that she could hear us, but I don't think that would comfort him.

"Not on purpose. Doesn't seem fair somehow. I mean, we would have both been dead, too, if she hadn't eaten the berries first." He checks himself. "No, of course we wouldn't, you recognized them, didn't you?"

I nod. "We call them nightlock."

"Even the name sounds deadly," he says. "I'm sorry, Kat. I really thought they were the same ones you gathered."

I kiss him on the cheek. "Don't apologize. It just means we're one step closer to home, right?"

"I'll get rid of the rest," Peeta says, squeezing my hands and then goes to pick up the plastic sheet.

"Wait!" I cry. I find the leather pouch that belonged to the boy from District one and fill it with a handful of berries. "If they fooled Foxface, maybe they can fool Cato as well. If he's chasing us or something, we can act like we accidentally dropped the pouch and if he eats them – "

"Then hello, District twelve," says Peeta. What I do know is, however Cato dies I will make sure he dies in my name, not Peeta's. I don't want to see him having to live with peoples deaths on his hands. Seeing him react to Foxface was bad enough.

"That's it," I say securing the pouch to my belt. Perhaps the berries is too kind of a fate for Cato after what he did to Peeta, but I just want to get us home.

"He'll know where we are now," Peeta says. "If he was anywhere nearby and saw that hovercraft, he'll know we killed her and come after us."

He's right. Even if we do run, there's still the meat that needs to be cooked and lighting a fire somewhere else would only announce our whereabouts again. "Let's make a fire. Right now," I say, already picking up branches.

"Are you ready to face him?" Peeta asks. I can see he looks nervous.

"I'm ready to eat. Better to cook our food while we have the chance. If he knows we're here, he knows. But he knows there's two of us and probably assumes we were hunting Foxface. That means you're recovered. And the fire means we're not hiding, we're inviting him here. Would you show up?" I ask.

"Maybe not," he says.

"But, even if he doesn't show up, don't go anywhere. You stay right here." I tell him.

"I promise, Kat." He says.

"And if he does come. Run." I say. Let me be the one to sacrifice myself to Cato this time, as long as Peeta is out the way safely.

"I'm not going to do that. If he comes, I'll stand by you," he says.

I glare at him, but nothing I say or do will change his mind. Instead, he starts on making the fire and he may not have the skills in hunting, but starting a fire is something he is skilled in. Peeta cooks the rabbits and squirrels, while I keep an eye out for Cato. But, like I predicted, Cato doesn't show up. When it's all cooked up, I wrap it up, leaving both of us a rabbit leg to eat while we walk.

It's back to the trees for us. The memories of Peeta falling with Cato come back and I have to squeeze my eyes shut to send them away. That won't ever happen again. He will be fine and if Cato comes then I can kill him now.

"I don't think I can climb with my leg," Peeta says. "Can't we just go back to the cave?"

"That's several hours of walking," I say.

"I'll let you hold my hand," he suggest, holding his hand out for me to take.

I take it, entwining my fingers with his. "That makes it a lot more bearable," I say. Really, I wasn't bothered about the walking.

Before we go, we throw some more food and leaves into the fire, letting it smoke. It will go on burning smoke for a few hours, hopefully making Cato believe we're still here. We walk, hand in hand, which is strange giving how Cato is still out there, but neither of us are afraid if he shows up. If he does then I'll just push Peeta out of the way and take Cato down.

At the stream, we take of our shoes and walk through it, kicking water at each other as we go. Peeta smiles when I laugh. It's almost like I'm back home, but instead of Gale with me it's Peeta. He pulls me back by the hand, my other hand still armed with an arrow ready to fire, and kisses me. When we reach the cave, we're both tired and smiling, returning to what has become out little home. We make ourselves a dinner, which Peeta keeps nodding of during. After, I demand him to go to bed and he does, letting me tuck him in. I kiss him, then his nose and his forehead, so thankful to have him. So glad that I will have saved him and kept my promise to Prim. And we have both forgotten the audience that are watching us, too happy with the moments we have been sharing.

My hand is between Peeta's hands that are on top of his heart. I watch the night sky, thinking about where Cato is hiding. It has worried me how Cato has overcome Thresh, but now he is likely wounded making him weaker. Then Foxface appears in the dark sky, reminding me of Peeta's reaction when he realized her death was on his hands. How Peeta's own ignorance had brought her down. If only Cato would make an appearance on the stream now, let me shoot him down and get Peeta home, away from this nightmare.

My body is exhausted, but my mind is wide awake wondering on what the next day will bring us. Will this be our last day? Is there a chance I could really lose Peeta today? Dawn is just approaching when I shake Peeta's shoulder. "I slept the whole night. That's not fair, Kat, you should have woken me."

I stretch and curl up next to him, not wanting him to leave the sleeping bag. "I'll sleep now. Wake me if anything interesting happens."

Apparently nothing happens, as the sun is high in the sky when I wake up. "Any sign of our friend?" I ask, turning round to face Peeta.

Peeta shakes his head. "No, he's keeping a disturbingly low profile."

"How long do you think we'll have before the Gamemaker's drive us together?" I ask.

"Well, Foxface died almost a day ago, so there's been plenty of time for the audience to place bets and get bored. I guess it could happen at any moment," says Peeta.

"Yeah, I have a feeling today's the day," I say and sit up to face Peeta. "I wonder how they'll do it."

Peeta remains silent. I take his hand, squeezing it. We will both be all right. I won't let anything happen to him.

"Well, until they do, no sense in wasting a hunting day. But we should probably eat as much as we can hold just in case we run into trouble," I say.

I lay out the rest of the rabbits, roots, greens and rolls spread with the last of the cheese, while Peeta packs up our gear. The only thing I leave is the squirrel and the apple. For a second, I think the apple could be another message from Haymitch, about a choice the Gamemaker's have chosen, but then why would it?

After, when we're all done, all is left is a pile of rabbit bones. My hands feel greasy and I'm suddenly embarrassed by how I look in front of Peeta. I may be from the Seam, but I have always kept myself clean. Now I can feel the grime that lingers on my body.

Leaving the cave is a strange feeling, we both know it is for good, both believing this is our last day in the arena. I could either end this day leaving alive with Peeta or dead. Peeta shall be going home tonight. I gently pat the rocks, saying my goodbyes and thanks. Peeta puts a hand on my waist to guide me away and then we go to the stream to wash up. But only when we get there do we find that the stream is now bone-dry. I reach down, wanting to find some sort of source. Nothing.

"Not even a little damp. They must have drained it while we slept," I say. We have a fairly decent amount of water left, but between two of us and under the hot sun that will soon go.

"The lake," says Peeta. "That's where they want us to go."

"Maybe the ponds have some," I say hopefully.

"We can check," he says. But we both know that we will find just another dry hole like the stream. We make the trip anyway for our thoughts to only be proved true.

"You're right. They're driving us to the lake," I say. Of course, they're going to want a good bloody death for the final. Something that will leave the audience satisfied with. "Do you want to go straightaway or wait until the waters tapped out?"

"Let's go now, while we've had food and rest. Let's just go end this thing," he says.

I nod. Peeta wraps his arms around me, squeezing me lightly. I search his eyes, wanting to see any fear or worry has for what could happen, but he's only smiling at me. "Two against one. Should be a piece of cake," he says.

"Next time we eat, it will be in the Capitol," I answer, wrapping my arms around his neck. We will be in the Capitol where Peeta will be safe and on our way home.

"You bet it will," he says, his hot breath blowing on my face. "Then we can have lamb stew and hot chocolate."

"And chocolate covered strawberries," I add imagining the food laid out in front of us.

"Yes. It will be a date." Peeta says and then kisses the top of my head. A date. The suggestion of it makes me blush and I know the Capitol would be going mental over it, really I am, as well. I bring him down for a kiss, one that could possibly be our own or one of many more.

We're not bothered with how much noise we make while we walk to the lake. If Cato comes then let him, but I doubt that's what the Gamemaker's want. They want it out in the open. We come across the tree where the careers trapped me and caught Peeta, the last place I saw him before we were separated. When Rue was in the tree. The hallucinations… Peeta…

"Let's move on," I say wanting to escape. Peeta doesn't object.

When we reach the open plain, evening is already approaching. And there's no sign of Cato. In case he decides to pull a Foxface on us, we look all around the Cornucopia. Then we walk over to the lake to fill our containers.

I frown at the shrinking sun. "We don't want to fight him after dark. There's only the one pair of glasses."

Peeta carefully squeezes the drops of iodine into the water. "Maybe that's what he's waiting for. What do you want to do? Go back to the cave." What I want to do is hide Peeta up in a tree or somewhere I know will be safe from Cato while I end this. But I know he won't agree with that and the two of us are better at facing Cato than just me.

"Either that or find a tree. But let's give him another half an hour or so. Then we'll take cover," I say.

We sit by the lake in full sight. If he makes an appearance then he will be able to see us easily and we will be able to see him coming. I sit in-between Peeta's legs, leaning back against his chest. His arms are wrapped tightly around my waist, I know he's nervous about what could happen. So am I.

The mockingjay's sit in the trees, bouncing melodies between each other. I open my mouth and sing Rue's four-note. They pause, curiously listening to the sound of my voice. I repeat the notes for them and Rue. They're completely silent and then one starts to repeat the notes, followed by the others.

"Just like your father," says Peeta kissing the top of my head.

My fingers find the pin on my shirt. "That's Rue's song," I say. "I think they remember it."

Peeta squeezes my waist lightly and I close my eyes, listening to Rue's melody as the notes overplay each other, creating an unearthly, lovely harmony. Then the Mockingjays voices cut of in shrieks, crying in alarm.

We're both on our feet. Peeta pulls out the knife and I arm my bow ready. Cato shoots through the trees, running straight for us. He has no spear, no weapons at all. My first arrow is fired, hitting his chest and falls to the ground.

"He got some kind of body armor!" I shout to Peeta.

Cato is upon us and I push Peeta as far as I can, letting Cato come to me instead. But instead, he rockets straight past me not even stopping his speed. I look at Peeta, confused, but find him glaring at me as well as the confusion. Ignoring his anger towards me, I look back at Cato, who is still running away from us and is panting and sweating. He's been running. But from what?

My eyes scan the woods from where Cato came and that's when I see the first creature step out on the plain. As I start to push Peeta towards Cato's direction, I see another half-dozen have joined them.

"Run!" I shout at Peeta, pulling him by the hand towards Cato.

Muttations. I've never seen these kind of mutts before, but they're not natural born animals. They resemble huge wolves, but what wolf stands on its hind legs and waves the pack on as if it has a wrist? In front of me I can see that Cato has headed for the cornucopia and without question, I follow him, pulling Peeta along behind me. Without me, it would be impossible for Peeta to outrun them, impossible for him to get away from them alive. I know he is starting to limp, his teeth grinding as he tries to run fast. When we reach the Cornucopia I look at him, wanting him to go up first.

"Climb!" Peeta shouts at me and I do. If I can get up there and start shooting them down, while Peeta climbs it might be a better way of saving him. The heat of the metal from the sun burns my hands, but I climb. When I reach the top I see that Cato is laying on the metal, panting as he tries to catch his breath. I turn to see the mutts are closing in, faster than I thought.

"Climb, Peeta!" I shout down to him and he does. They close in on him and I aim an arrow at the first mutt, making him claw out at the others. That's when I see the claws. Ten centimeters and clearly razor sharp.

He reaches my feet and I help him climb up, pulling him far away from the mutts that go to tear at his legs. Then I remember Cato, he is still doubled over, worried more about the mutts then us. He's growling something around the mutts.

"What?" I shout at him.

"He said, 'can they climb it?'" says Peeta. I'm still holding him in my arms, frightened about having lost him. I slowly let go.

The mutts are beginning to assemble. Standing around the cornucopia on their back legs, giving them an eerily human quality about them. Each of them have different furs and colours, but something about them is similar and raises the hairs on the back of my neck.

They put their snouts on the horn, sniffing and tasting the metal. We watch as they make yapping sounds to each other, they're communicating. And then they start to back up. A good-sized mutt with silky waves of blonde fur, starts running and then leaps at the horn. It lands three meters away from us, its mouth pulled back in a snarl. Then I noticed the thing that unsettled me. It's the eyes. The green eyes are not like any animal eyes I have seen, but familiar and human. Around the mutts neck is a collar with the number one on written in jewels. The blonde hair, the green eyes, the number… it's Glimmer.

A startled shriek escapes my lips. The arrow in my hand stays in place, I am running low of them and I don't have enough to take them all down, including Cato. I'm still waiting to see, if in fact, the creatures can climb. Their claws scrap down the metal like scraping on a blackboard. I fire the arrow into its throat and watch as it drops to the ground, flopping around.

"Katniss?" Peeta grips my arm.

"It's her!" I get out.

"Who?" Peeta asks.

My eyes dart back and forth as I take in the fur colours and eyes. The one with the red coat and amber eyes… Foxface! All of them are here, every tribute who has died. But worst of all, the smallest mutt with dark glossy fur and huge brown eyes. The number eleven on its collar, woven from straw. Its teeth bared at me. Rue…

"What is it, Kat?" Peeta asks, shaking my shoulder.

"It's them. It's all of them. The others. Rue and Foxface and… all of the other tributes," I choke out.

Peeta gasps in recognition. "What did they do to them? You don't think… those could be their real eyes?"

The eyes are the least of my worries. What about their brains? Could they have been given real tribute' memories? Let the ones we killed want revenge for their death? The thought of that possibility terrifies me. While I'm thinking about this, they have changed plans and have split into two groups, jumping up at the horn with snapping teeth.

That's when I hear Peeta's cry. A sound that makes me scream and hold onto him as he is dragged over the edge. It takes all my strength in my arms to stop him from falling and I am screaming at him, "Kill it, Peeta! Kill it!" I hear him stab the creature and then the pull has lessened, allowing me to drag him back up. I hold him close to me, my body shaking with the fright, but I know this isn't over yet.

Cato has not yet regained his feet, but his breathing is slowing. I arm my bow and arrow, ready to kill him and then the arrow takes out Thresh instead. Of course he would be able to jump that high. A sigh of relief escapes me and I turn back to face Cato when Peeta's jerked from my side. I'm so scared the pack has gotten him until his blood splatters my face.

Cato stands before me at the lip of the horn, holding Peeta in some kind of headlock, cutting of his airway. Peeta is clawing at Cato's arms, but it's no good when Cato's hold is stronger. I aim one of the last two arrows at Cato's head, but I know if I shoot then Peeta will fall down with him.

Cato just laughs. "Shoot me and he goes down with me."

Peeta is the only thing that is keeping him alive. If I shoot him, then Peeta will die. And if Cato kills him then I will shoot him. But then there would be no winner of the 74th Hunger Games. My body is shaking with what is about to happen, but my hands are still, holding the arrow in place for that one chance. I've clenched my teeth, trying to hold back the screams and cries I want to release.

Peeta's lips are turning blue and I know Cato is hoping he'll die of asphyxiation. That gives him the option of using Peeta as a weapon against me. The triumph smile shows that I am right. But I can't let this happen. I can't lose him.

My eyes travel down to Peeta's hand, where he raises his blooded fingers up to Cato's arm. He doesn't try to wrestle free, instead he makes a deliberate 'x' mark on the back of his hand. Cato's smile drops in realization one second later than I did. By that time my arrow has pierced his hand. He cries out, realising Peeta reflexively, who then slams back against him. A cry escapes my lips as I think they're both going over. I dive forward, catching hold of Peeta as Cato loses his footing on the blood-slick ground and falls to the ground.

We hear him hit the ground, the air go out of him, and then the mutts ascend on him. Peeta and I hold each other, while waiting for a cannon that doesn't come. This is the climax of the show and the audience are going to want an ending to be remembered.

I don't watch, only forced to listen at the cries of pain, the snarls and growls from both human and mutt. Cato is doing his best to fight back, but there is no point. I can't believe he's surviving this long, then I remember the body armor that he's wearing. This is going to be a long night. He must have a knife or a sword or something as well as the occasional mutt dies or cries in pain. But even in the end he is overpowered.

They end up dragging him back to the cornucopia and now I think this is when the cannon comes. But it still doesn't. Night comes and the anthem appears, Cato's picture doesn't appear only his moans from beneath us. If he's going to take his time dying then I need to stop the blood flowing from Peeta's leg. Our packs and supplies remain down by the lake where we abandoned them. I have no bandages to stop the bleeding. Even though I'm shaking in the bitter wind, I take of my jacket and my top underneath, before putting my jacket back on.

I make Peeta lie down as I probe at his wound. His face is grey in the pale moonlight. I can't lose him now. Not after everything and not when we're so close. My hands are soaked with his blood. My top or bandages won't be enough to stop it. I focus on my mother's experience, ripping a part of my shirt up and tying it around Peeta's legs twice before knotting it. I end up using my last arrow to twist the knot tighter. Peeta could end up losing his leg, but I would rather he lose it then his life. I wrap his wound up with the rest of my shirt.

"Don't go to sleep," I tell him, trying to keep my voice as normal as possible. I'm so terrified that if he drifts of then he will never wake up again.

"Are you cold?" He asks. He unzips his jacket and I press against him, letting him zip it up behind me. It's a bit warmer with us sharing our body heat and I think I could keep him awake with distracting him like this.

"Cato may win this thing yet," I whisper to Peeta. Could this be our last night or hours together? Huddled together trying to keep warm. Will he die in my arms like Rue? Then will I die next to him and Cato will go home the winner?

"Don't you believe it," he says, pulling my hood up. His hands are shaking and I hold them in mine, trying to keep them warm. But even my hands have turned icy cold.

The cold isn't the only torture of the night. For hours we have to listen to Cato slowly dying, whimpering as the mutts work their way at him. I don't care who he is or what he did to us, I just want this suffering to end.

"Why don't they just kill him?" I ask Peeta.

"You know why," he says and pulls me closer to him.

And I do know why. No viewer could turn away from the show now. The question on who will survive the night, Peeta or Cato? The audience know I won't be going home without Peeta so it's all down to who survives first. This must be top entertainment for the Gamemaker's.

The night goes on. I'm not sure what's worse, hearing a boy suffer or each time Peeta nods of. I have to shout his name louder each time, keeping him awake with kisses. He's fighting it, I know he is, but I'm so scared that he's going to give up. "Please, Peeta. Stay with me." I whisper.

"Always," he says.

Then he starts talking to me about the moon, how it is slowly rising across the sky and then sunrise is soon coming. I talk with him, saying and doing anything to keep him awake. He just has to outlive Cato and then the Capitol can do what they have to do.

But when dawn is approaching still no cannon has fired. I press my good ear against the metal of the horn, just making out Cato's voice.

"I think he's closer now. Kat, can you shoot him?" Peeta asks.

It sounds like he is near the mouth. If I can take him out it would be an act of mercy at this point. "My last arrow is in your tourniquet," I say.

"Make it count," says Peeta and he unzips his jacket, letting me out.

I free the arrow from Peeta's tourniquet, tightening the knot as tight as I can with frozen fingers. I rub my hands together, trying to get the circulation going again. Then I hang over the edge, Peeta's hands supporting me. It takes a few moments to find Cato in the dim light, in the blood. Then the figure that use to be my enemy makes a noise, _please._

It's not vengeance that sends my arrow flying into his skull, its pity. Peeta pulls me back up, my bow in hand and the quiver now empty.

"Did you get him?" he whispers.

Then the cannon fires in answer.

"Then we won, Kat," Says Peeta, pulling me into his arms.

"We did," I say. Relieved that I can get him home, now that the Capitol's doctors can sort his leg out. I've saved him and kept my sisters promise. I have to rub my eyes to stop the tears from appearing.

A hole opens up in the plain, then if on cue, the remaining mutts disappear into it. Disappearing for good. And then we're waiting for the hovercraft to take Cato's remains, followed by the hovercraft to pick us up. No one comes.

"He!" I shout. "What's going on?" The only response is the morning birds. My stomach twists inside me, something is telling me that whatever is going on isn't good.

"Maybe it's the body. Maybe we have to move away from it," Peeta says.

I try to remember what happens in previous games when the last kills is made, but what other reason could they have to delay? "OK. Think you could make it to the lake?" I ask.

"Think I better try," says Peeta. We inch to the tail of the cornucopia, dropping to the ground. My limbs are stiff and I don't know how Peeta is going to move. Somehow he does, with my help and soon we get to the lake. I scoop up a handful of water for Peeta and then a second for myself.

A mockingjay gives of its warning call. A sigh of relief escapes my lips as the hovercraft appears, taking Cato's body away. Now it's our go. Now they will come and take us home. Now they will come and give Peeta medical treatment.

But, still, no one comes.

"What are they waiting for?" Peeta says weakly. The use of the arrow has reopened Peeta's leg again and now I'm panicking. What are they doing?

"I don't know," I say. I get up to go find a stick for Peeta, something to help stop the bleeding while we wait. Then I find the arrow that bounced of Cato's armor.

Claudius Templesmith's voice booms into the arena. "Greetings to the final contestants of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games. The earlier revision has been revoked. Closer examination of the rule book has disclosed that only one winner may be allowed," he says. "Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favour."

I had made my way back to Peeta during the first part. Stopping a few meters away from him when the rules changed. There was never going to be two winners. I should have never brought into it. But I always knew that they were building our story up for it to only have a tragic ending. Now, the tears stream down my face in front of Panem.

"If you think about it, it's not that surprising," he says softly. He's painfully getting up onto his feet, pulling the knife from his pocket. I throw my arrow into the lake, letting him kill me and then he can go home safely. But instead he throws the knife into the lake with my arrow.

We both stand looking at each other, with no weapons now we have no way to kill each other. But then we both know we won't be able to do it. Neither of us want to go home without the other. "Peeta…" I begin.

"No. It doesn't matter if we have no weapons. I'll go first anyway," he says and then he rips the make-shift bandage from his leg, letting the blood gush down. I drop to my knees, trying to put the bandage back together, to stop the blood from flowing.

"Kat," he says. "This is what I want."

"I'm not going home without you," I say. I haven't cried like this since my father died, since my mother left me to defend for our family. Then I remember the berries, I stand up, pulling them out in front of me. Peeta's eyes widen. "I can't let you die."

"Do you think I can let you die?" He asks, the tears falling from his eyes.

My hands are shaking as I hold the pouch of berries. I will take them, it's the only thing I have left to keep him alive. My life for his.

"Listen," he takes a painful step towards me. "Please, don't eat those berries. I won't let you. Go home. For me." I take the berries out of the pouch, my hands are shaking. "Katniss! If you love me then stop, _please._"

The berries stay in my hand. Seeing him like this has crushed me. The pain in his voice, the tears that have fallen and the fear he has of me losing me. He can't live without me, just like I can't live without him. Then I'm thinking about those happy moments, how all his were with me and if I die, what would he have to go back to? "What choice do I have?" I sob.

Peeta is saying something, but I'm not listening. _What choice do I have?_ There's always another choice. If both of us can't live without the other, if we're both willing to die for each other then why don't we? But then if they thought we were going to die…

"Do you love me?" I ask taking a step closer to him.

"I love you, Kat," he says. I can see the hope in his eyes that this will make me change my mind.

Then my arms wrap around his neck. I whisper, "Trust me." He looks me in the eye and I know that with his mind and heart that he trusts me. Either we die together or the Capitol lets us both live. I pour some of the berries in his hand, gently closing his fingers around them. Then I pour the remaining berries into my hand. He kisses me, a deep long kiss. Our last kiss. "On the count of three?"

He kisses the top of my head and then my nose. And then berries his head into the crook of my neck. "On the count of three."

I hold him closer, whispering only for him to hear. "I love you, Peeta." His tears slide down my neck, tears of happiness and sadness. And then we open our hands for the cameras to see the berries.

"One." If they cared they would stop this.

"Two." Perhaps everyone is bored of our romance.

"Three." The last few tears escape my eyes, knowing that I haven't saved Peeta and we're both going to die in each others arms. I've lost him. But we stay focused on each other, bringing the berries up to our mouths. We came here together and we're leaving here together.

Claudius Templesmith's shouts. "Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victors of the Seventy-fourth Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark! I give you – the tributes of District twelve!"

**(a/n): That was a really emotional end. I write it and had to take a break from it before I read through the chapter. Now I'm scared to write Catching Fire and Mockingjay if you get why. This is just the start of emotional chapters. But, last chapter of the Hunger Games is coming to you next year! Probably tomorrow or Friday as I'm really excited to start writing it. Happy New Year! **


	16. Reunited

**(a/n): I'm sorry for making you cry in the last chapter. But that was an emotional end. This one is emotional but just so sweet and lovely. Some of you have been wondering whether Peeta is going to be a bigger part of the rebellion. This chapter does kind of answer your question if you look into some parts more, but mainly its going to be the chapter where Snow visits Katniss where you find out. Until then, enjoy this chapter:). The first chapter of 2015. **

**Chapter 16: Reunited**

I fall to the ground, spitting the berries out and then wiping my tongue with the sleeve of my jacket. Peeta pulls me to the lake, where we both wash our mouths, getting rid of any trace of the berries.

"You didn't swallow any?" I ask Peeta in fright.

He shakes his head. "You?"

"Guess I'd be dead now if I did," I say and then I collapse into his arms, hiding my face in his chest as I cry my last few tears of relief. He's alive and going home. We're going home together. But I know we're not out of the woods yet, not until his leg has been sorted out.

As if on cue the hovercraft appears and two ladders fall down. Only, I'm not letting go of Peeta. I'm not leaving his sight until I know he is safe and fixed. I'm helping him up, keeping an arm around him and then we freeze as we hold onto the first rung. The hovercraft takes us up, away from the arena and the nightmare we has just been a part of. My eyes look down to find that the blood is still gushing from his wound and when the door closes behind us, he falls unconscious in my arms.

"Peeta?" I croak, holding him close. Men and women in white with sterile masks come through, wanting to take Peeta from me. I'm scared to what they are going to do to him. They pull him away from me, leaving me with a fistful of his jacket and tears of watching his pale face disappear. He's on the metal table and then I can't see him, I'm screaming his name, shouting at them to leave him alone. But when I do see him, he's laying still with wires attached to his arms. I'm so petrified that the Games aren't actually over, that they're going to kill Peeta.

I lunge forward, but a glass door seals between us, blocking me from Peeta. My fists pound on the glass, my voice breaking as I scream his name. A Capitol attendant offers me a beverage. My eyes never leave Peeta and eventually I slump down to the ground, resting my forehead on the glass as I cry his name. We've come so far to only be separated by a glass window.

It's horrible what I'm watching. My brain eventually tells me that they're saving Peeta, they're stopping the bleeding and doing what I couldn't do. They're working with their brows drawn together in concentration and lights blink, drawing their attention. "Please, Peeta. Please." I beg. I think of all those families, who brought their loved ones to my mother, watching as they pleaded but slowly watched them die. This won't be Peeta. It can't be.

I watch helplessly as the doctor's rush around, trying to get Peeta's heart beating. My hands press against the glass, needing to get closer. "Don't die, Peeta. I love you. Stay with me," I whisper. I close my eyes, picturing him telling me 'always'. The Capitol attendant has left the room and for a second I hope it's a way out, a way to get to Peeta, but the door locks behind her. Peeta's heart must have started up again as the doctors go back to concentrating on his leg.

Then we're back at the Training Centre, the door opens and the doctors leave, taking Peeta with them. I'm left behind. Fear causes my body to tremble even more, they can't do this. They can't separate us. I'm shrieking, throwing myself at the door with everything I have left in me. "Peeta!" I'm screaming at the top of my voice. He doesn't come. It's like when I was with Clove, calling for Peeta to come rescue me but I knew he really wasn't there. Then I see a glimpse of pink hair that has to be Effie. She's come to save me, come to take me to Peeta! And then needle jabs me from behind. "No… Peeta… I love you."

When I awake, I am almost too afraid to move. I'm surrounded by four white walls, no doors or windows that I can see. The air smells like antiseptic. About several tubes are linked from my arm to the wall behind me. I'm naked, but the soft bedclothes offer me some cover. My body has been completely scrubbed down, nails filed into perfect ovals and my scars and burns are less prominent. I run my hands through my hair, when I notice that my left ear can hear again.

I try to sit up, finding myself strapped down to the bed by my waist. The panic and fear begins to build again, which only calms down when the side of the wall slides upon revealing the red-headed Avox girl. We're probably being watched, so I don't do anything that causes any questions about us recognising each other. She places the tray on my lap and then goes to press a button, which slowly rises me. While she adjusts my pillows, I ask one question that surely everyone would know that I want to ask. "Did Peeta make it?" She gives me a nod and I lean back against the pillows, relieved. She slips a spoon into my hand. I guess she did not want me dead after all.

Peeta has made it. He's alive and going home, with me. I can't hide the small smile that forms on my lips. The Avox then leaves and I turn to the tray that sits in front of me. I wonder, if after, I'm allowed to see Peeta. Seeing him alive and well again, that smile on his face and him even calling me Kat. I look down at the meal, trying to conceal my blush. A broth, with a small serving of apple sauce and then a glass of water. That's it? I eat the meal anyway, my stomach rumbling and I wonder how long I've been asleep. There's usually a few days between the competition and the presentation of the victor – victors in our case. Cinna and Portia will be creating out final outfits. Haymitch and Effie will be arranging the banquet for our sponsors, then reviewing the final questions for our interviews. District 12 is probably in chaos, trying to organize Peeta and mines homecoming. It's been nearly thirty years since the last one.

Home with Prim. I've managed to keep the promise to her as well as save the boy with the bread. Now I will have both of them in my life, both of them safe and protected from harm. Especially now when we're both Victors. And Gale! How I will see my best friend again, how we can go hunting together!

I don't want to wait any longer. It feels too long of a separation between Peeta and I. They can't keep us apart any longer and I won't allow them. But, when I go to move, I feel a cold liquid seeping into my veins, knocking me out like the last one.

This happens too much for my liking. Waking up, eating and then trying to escape before being knocked out again. I think I'm hallucinating again as every time I wake up, I find that my scars are disappearing. The only company I have is the red-headed Avox girl, who isn't allowed to answer my questions about Peeta since she doesn't even look at me.

Then on the final time, the tubes have been taken from my arms. The restraint from my middle has been removed and I am free to move. I sit up and find myself shocked with how perfect, smooth and glowing my skin is. The scars from the arena is gone, but also those I have gained during my years of hunting. My head feels like satin and when I go to touch the burn on my calf, it's completely disappeared without a single trace.

I slip my legs out of bed, nervous with how they will handle weight, but they're strong and steady. I flinch when I notice the outfit at the end of the bed, the same all the tributes wore into the arena. Of course, I have to wear this outfit to greet my team.

I'm dressed in less than a minute, anticipated and nervous about seeing Peeta again. My stomach twists with the emotions, but I can't wait any longer. The door slides open, greeting me to freedom. I step into the wide deserted halls, wondering which door has Peeta behind. I trust the Avox girl was correct about Peeta being all right, but I need to find out for myself.

"Peeta?" I call out, to only be answered with my own name. But it isn't Peeta's voice, its Effie's voice and I find that better than nothing. She can lead me to him. I've strangely missed Effie and guilt works on me as I remember I never said goodbye to her.

I turn to find them all sitting in a big chamber at the end of the hall. The sight of them – Haymitch, Effie and Cinna takes me running in their direction. I know this will all be on camera for Panem to see, but I'm so happy to see them. Surprisingly, I throw myself into Haymitch's arms, whispering my thanks to him for keeping his promise, for saving Peeta and warning me when he couldn't. "Nice job, sweetheart," Haymitch says and it isn't sarcastic. Effie is all teary, patting my hair and telling me how she told everyone we were her pearls. Cinna just hugs me, holding me tight and we both know nothing needs to be said. Then I'm looking for Peeta and Portia.

"Where's Porita? Is she with Peeta? He is all right, isn't he? I mean, he's alive?" I blurt out. The fear of this being too good to be true.

"He's fine. Only they want to do your reunion live on air at the ceremony," Haymitch says.

"Oh, that's all," I say somewhat disappointed that I can't see him now, but relieved that he is alive. "I guess I'd want to see that myself."

"Go on with Cinna. He has to get you ready," Haymitch tells me.

Yes. Get me ready to see Peeta. Cinna puts his arm around me, guiding me from the cameras and into the elevator that leads to the lobby. The hospital is even lower than the gym, where tributes use to learn to tie knots and throw knives, now the gym remains empty. Guards stand around the lobby, the windows are darkened. But no one else is here a part from the echoes of our footprints. We reach the twelfth floor and I can't help but think about all the tributes who won't return.

As soon as the elevator doors open, Venia, Octavia and Flavius appear, hugging me and speaking to me all at once. They're thrilled to see me and I am happy to see them, too. I'm taken to the dining room, where I'm give a real meal of roast beef, peas and soft rolls, I'm clearly on a strict diet. The rolls make me think about Peeta and I wonder if he's thinking about me as well.

We go back to my room after and Cinna leaves me with the prep team to get ready. "Oh, they did a full body polish on you," says Flavious, the tone of jealously clear. "Not a flaw left on your skin."

But when I look in the mirror, it isn't my flawless skin that catches my attentions, it's how skinny I am. I'm sure I was worse when I first came back from the arena. Now, I could easily count my rib cage. They do the shower settings for me and then they're doing my hair and nails. They're talking, but mainly about where they were when a specific event happened. They don't bring me in much, which is good as I'm not feeling very talkative. It's obvious they've been told not to talk about me and Peeta, as not a single event which happened that involved us is mentioned.

Cinna eventually comes in with a yellow dress across his arms. "Have you given up on the whole 'girl on fire' thing?" I ask.

"You tell me," he says, slipping the dress over my naked body. I notice how the dress has a lot of padding in, adding curves that the hunger has stolen from me. He's even added padding on my breasts.

"I know," says Cinna before I can object. "But the Gamemkaers wanted to alter you surgically. Haymitch had a huge fight with them over it. This was the compromise." He stops me before I can look at my reflection. "Wait, don't forget the shoes." Venia helps me into the sandals and then I turn to the mirror.

I am still the girl on fire. Only now the flames have changed to a candle light, allowing the yellow to glow, to flicker like a candle. It makes everything seem brighter compared to the chariot and interview dresses.

"What do you think?" Cinna asks.

"I think it's the best yet," I say. When my eyes flicker away from the fabric, I find with a surprise that my hair is left down, held back by a simple headband. The make-up, with help from the dress, makes my face glow. The whole look makes me seem like a little girl. An innocent child. It's shocking to see after I've just won the Hunger Games. But I'm not sure the motivation behind the look.

"I thought it'd be something more… sophisticated-looking," I say.

"I thought Peeta would like this better," Cinna says but I know that there is something more than that. The yellow of the dress is sending of a warning to me.

We take the elevator back down to where we trained. It's customary for the victor and his or hers prep team to rise from the stage. First the prep team, followed by the escort, the stylist, the mentor and then the victor. Only this year changes would have to be made. I'm left on the metal plate, alone, while my prep team and Cinna go off to get changed. There is a makeshift wall ten metres away and I know Peeta is behind it. It's just like the glass window, only this time I can't see him at all.

A hand touches my shoulder, startling me and I spring away still half in the arena. "Easy, just me. Let's have a look at you," says Haymitch. I hold out my arms turning around once. "Good enough."

That's not much of a compliment. "But what?"

He pauses for a moment, making a decision. "But nothing. How about a hug for luck?"

That's an odd request coming from Haymitch, but we're both victors and he does understand what I am and Peeta are going through. When I find myself linking my arms around his neck, he traps me in his embrace. He's talking very quietly, his lips hidden in my hair.

"Listen up. You're in trouble. Word is the Capitol's furious with you showing them up in the arena. The one thing they can't stand is being laughed at, and they're the joke of Panem," says Haymitch.

The dread joins the other emotions in my stomach, twisting it, but I laugh like Haymitch has just told me something delightful. "So what?"

"Your only defence is your love for Peeta that you wasn't responsible for your actions," says Haymitch. He pulls back, adjusting my hair. "Got it, sweetheart?"

"Got it," I say. "Did you tell Peeta?"

"I thought I would leave that up to you," says Haymitch. I nod my head, thanking him, this is something I don't want Peeta worrying about.

I sort out his bow tie. "Better take our places," says Haymitch. "This is your night, sweetheart. Enjoy it." He kisses the top of my head and then disappears.

My hands are shaking, I tug on the short skirt wanting it to be longer. I'm more nervous about seeing Peeta than the actual interview. The excitement of our reunion, but the fear of having a live audience watching us. It's different from being in the games, the audience are actually there.

But then I know that this interview has to go a certain way. I'm in a dangerous place – and Peeta – I need to control that before it ends up getting worse. I'll just have to focus on us, our reunion and the love we have for each other. Perhaps it would have been better if I just ate the berries and let Peeta go home, but we're here now. I take a few deep breaths.

All the audience needs to believe is that the whole thing was a part of the games. That the double suicide was just because we couldn't live without each other, which it was, but the audience have thought more into it. All I wanted to do was outsmart the Gamemakers, to save the boy I loved. Now I have one more challenge to face if I want to save him completely.

The anthem booms and then Caesar Flickerman is greeting the audience. In a matter of moments I will be back in Peeta's arms and I know I can do this with him by my side. Caesar must know what is going on and he will be willing to help us as well. The crowds break into applause as the prep teams are introduced, bouncing around and enjoying the attention. Then Effie is introduced. I hope she enjoys this moment, she's waited so long for it. She must know how much trouble we're in. Cinna and Portia receive huge cheers and I'm glad because they both deserve it with the costumes they made. Haymitch's arrival brings on a stomping that goes on for ages. Then I am sweating again, my breathing is hitched and I'm shaking with the adrenaline of the event. Peeta. I'm so close to him. I can feel the stage lifting me up.

The lights blind me, the sound of the audience deafening me. And then I see him. His name escapes my lips as the audience turn silent. Peeta stands a few meters away, looking clean and healthy and beautiful. His smile makes the whole room seem brighter and all we can do is just stand there, watching each other with smiles as we both hold back the tears. He's alive. He's cured and well.

"Well come on then, we haven't got all night, sweetheart!" Haymitch shouts gaining a laugh from the audience. I secretly thank him while the blush fills my cheeks. But it's all I need. It's like Haymitch has given me that final push. I dive into his arms, hugging him and kissing him. He stumbles back, then I see the cane in his hand. I don't care, he's alive and he's right in front of me. Everything else is forgotten, the audience are left behind and it's just me and him. The two of us, together. Reunited.

He doesn't let me go, his arms tighten around me and his head is buried in the crook of my neck. I rest my forehead on his chest, my eyes closed and savouring this moment for the rest of my life. And when Caesar Flickerman puts a hand on his shoulder, asking if they can continue with the show, Peeta pushes him away and then he is kissing me again as the audience roar with laugher and cheers.

Finally, Haymitch interrupts us and shoves us towards the chair. Usually, it's a chair for the victors to sit in, but this year they've provided a plush red couch. But Peeta doesn't let go of me that easily, he pulls me down so I'm almost sitting on his lap. My legs land over his, being careful of where I knew his wound was. And I notice we're in matching outfits again as Peeta's shirt is made out of the same fabric as my dress. I can't help but snuggle in closer to his side.

Caesar Flickerman makes a few more jokes and then the shows is beginning. Three hours is how long this show is going to be. And when the anthem begins, I realize I am not prepared for this. Peeta holds my hand, squeezing it lightly to reassure me. His other arm wraps around me. I don't want to watch my fellow twenty-four tributes die. How have they coped with it in the past? Some pumped their fists in achievement and others sat quietly shocked.

Several weeks is fitted into three hours. And they're telling our story during the games, our love story. Our kisses we shared, the smiles and comments exchanged, the hand holding and support for one another, all built up to that final moment. Even the nickname has created quite a hype, the audience screaming for their favourite. It seems Kat is the winning one. Questions are asked whether we knew the others feelings before the interviews and how we felt about each other being reaped. But it's when Rue comes in that I find it hard to control my emotions. Peeta's arms tighten around me and I grip his hand. They play the whole part of Rue's death, reminding me of what happened and her loss. The only part they leave out is how I decorated her in flowers.

But everyone can see the love we have for each other. It's clear that neither of us want to live without the other. So how are the berries being seen to upstage the Gamemakers if it's clearly because we love each other? But worst of all, something I wasn't expecting, was footage of me pounding on the glass shouting Peeta's name as they try to revive him. Begging him to stay with me. Shouting that I love him.

"Always," I hear him whisper next to me.

"Look at that ladies and gentlemen," Caesar Flickerman says. "Our victors really couldn't live without each other."

The crowd are crying in agreement. I notice how our story has touched them, left them a sobering mess. If one of us really did die would our story be sadder or would they be angry? Both Peeta and I exchange a smile that leaves the crowd screaming.

The anthem plays and then we rise as President Snow takes the stage, followed by a little girl that holds the crown on a pillow. You can hear the crowd's confusion with their being one crown instead of two, then President Snow gives it a twist and the crown splits into two. He places Peeta's crown on with a smile and then when it comes to me, I can see how unforgiving his snake eyes are.

I was the one that pulled the berries out, the one who didn't eat them and die. The one who suggested that we should both die instead of them having a victor. I'm the one to blame and if he's going to punish, then make it be me.

Then the crowds are cheering and their bowing and waving, until finally Caesar Flickerman wishes the audience goodnight, reminding them about the interviewers tomorrow. Peeta and I are then taken to the president's mansion for the Victory banquet. We don't even have time to eat, don't even have time to speak to each other as sponsors come wanting to take pictures with us. Haymitch gives me reassuring smiles and President Snow sends me looks that terrify me. I don't dare let go of Peeta's hand. Then when the sun is just starting to rise we finally make our way back onto the twelfth floor. Everyone bids us goodnight, understanding that we need some time to ourselves. I've been aching all night for this time.

We both walk in silence to my bedroom, it seems strange after our time in the arena. I still don't know what we're, what this is leading to. The future scares me but right now I want to focus on us going home. He sits down on the bed, pulling me down to sit beside him.

Out of everything he can say the first thing that comes from his lips are: "You love me?"

I look up at him, to find that shy sweet smile and a happiness shining in his eyes. "I've always loved you," I say. "From the moment you gave me the bread."

He sucks in a breath. "Is this real or not?" He whispers.

I tell him, "Real."

He cups my cheeks, bringing me up for a sweet loving kiss. The happiness and love that explodes in the kiss is overpowering. It's nothing like the kisses we share in public, in front of the cameras, it's something between the two of us. Just ours to share with each other. Love.

He lays down on the bed, bringing me down to lay on top of him. Nothing needs to be said. Just lying in his arms with them wrapped around me is enough. Even when he kisses the top of my forehead, soothing me off to the most peaceful sleep. And then in the morning we're woken to a startled Effie, announcing another big, big, big day and I can hear her squealing as she leaves the room. We even have breakfast brought to us and then after that Peeta is kicked out by Cinna, wanting him to go before the prep team get here. After the prep team are done with me, Cinna puts a white dress over my body with pink shoes. And then he readjusts my make-up, giving me a soft rosy glow. I want to ask him about the berries, but I'm almost afraid that we're being watched.

The interview takes place in the living room. The red love seat is back and is now surrounded by pink and red roses. Only cameras for these interviews, no audience.

Caesar Flickerman gives me a warm hug when I come in. "Congratulations, Katniss. How are you faring?"

"Fine. Nervous about the interview," I say.

"Don't be. We're going to have a fabulous time," he says, patting my cheek reassuringly.

"I'm not good at talking about myself," I say.

"Nothing you say will be wrong," he says.

Oh, who knows? Maybe President Snow is already arranging my death. As long as I can keep Peeta out of this then it will be all right.

Peeta comes in, looking handsome in red and white, pulling me off to the side. I think I can hear Caesar Flickerman let out a small sigh. Peeta's arms stay around my waist and I have to balance my hands on his chest. "I've missed you," he whispers.

"Really? It's only been a few hours," I say smiling. We've spent how many days apart from the games and he can't go a few hours? But neither can I, I don't ever want to be separated from him again or too lose him.

"That's too long," he says.

"Well, when we get home we will be free to see each other whenever we like," I tell him.

"No one around to watch us," says Peeta. "And then we can do that date."

He kisses my cheek and I'm thankful that I already have rosy cheeks to conceal my blush. And then Haymitch is clearing we throat, we turn to see that everyone is ready to begin. Now I'm defiantly glad no one can see my blush.

We sit back down on the sofa, Peeta keeping an arm around my waist this time and we still hold hands. A man counts backwards and then we're live across Panem. Peeta and Caesar have the friendly rapport going between each other, sharing jokes and teasing. I only speak up now and then, smiling. But soon the jokes are ending and the questions are coming. "Well, Peeta, we know from that night in the tree, that it was love at first sight for you from what, age five?" Asks Caesar.

"From the moment I laid eyes on her," he says.

"But, Katniss, we know you first started liking him when he gave you the bread. When did you realize you was in love with him?" He asks.

I look at Peeta when I say this, but, of course, he already knows. "It was exactly that moment when he gave me the bread."

"The bread that saved your life," says Caesar. "Did you always plan on saving him?"

"From the moment his name was called out at the reaping. I just knew that I couldn't live without him." I say and Peeta squeezes my hand.

"You couldn't live without each other," he says, confirming the berries for Panem. I hope that has sorted the problem out.

Peeta presses his forehead against my temple, causing Caesar to bring out a handkerchief as he's so moved. "There would be no home to go to without her." Peeta says and then he kisses me. Around the room people sigh.

"Was that why you pulled out the berries, Katniss?" he turns to the cameras. "My heart is still broken over that ending. The tissues I went through!" People around the room sigh in agreement. This has to be it, what I say now is going to affect what happens next. If I say the wrong thing then I could end up being punished or killed or even worse Peeta.

"I… At first I just wanted to kill myself, to make sure Peeta went home. But then it seemed selfish, what happiness would he go home to?" I look to Peeta. "He wanted to save me just like I wanted to save him. But in the end we were going to save each other from the pain of having to live without the other."

"I think your love for each other touched the nation." Caesar says and lets out another sigh as Peeta buries his head in the crook of my neck. Is our love really touching people? "The two of you can go have your happy ending now."

I kiss the top of Peeta's head. Then rest my chin on top of his head and my hand in his hair. His head is still buried in my neck but everyone is silent. They're all watching us, some are crying and others have their hands over their hearts. Caesar has to take a moment to compose himself. "I have one more question for you, Peeta." He waits for Peeta to sit up again and I laugh flattening his hair back down. "How are you coping with your new leg?"

"New leg?" I ask the smile leaving my face and I reach down, pulling his trouser leg up to reveal the metal and plastic device that has taken his leg. "Oh, Peeta."

"No one told you?" Caesar asks and I shake my head, trying to stop the tears that have started to fall. This was not what I wanted to do. Crying in the arena is one thing but crying during an interview is another.

"It's my fault," I say. "Because I used that tourniquet."

Peeta wraps his arms around me, bringing me onto his lap and rubbing my back to try and help me to calm down. I take a few deep breaths. This is getting embarrassing, but I can see that others have started to cry again. Is this proving that I did the berries out of love more than anything? It has to be. "This is why I haven't told her yet," Peeta says. "I knew she would blame herself. Even though I'm alive because of her."

"He's right," says Caesar. "He would have bled to death for sure without it."

I bury myself in Peeta's shirt, wanting to calm down my emotions before facing the cameras again. I don't think the Gamemakers are the laughing stock of Panem, I think I am. Slowly, Peeta coaxes me back out.

"What an emotional end it's been," Caesar wraps up. "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you this year's victors of the seventy-fourth Hunger Games!" We wave and smile to the cameras before they shut off.

Caesar is hugging me again and then somehow he is hugging both Peeta and I before leaving. Then I reach Haymitch. "OK?" I whisper.

"Perfect," he answers.

Then after I go back to my room to collect the mockingjay pin Madge gave me, we're driven through the streets of the Capitol in a black tinted window car. The train is already waiting for us. We barely have enough time to say goodbye to Cinna and Protia, but we will see them again in a few months for the victory tour. Effie is accompanying us back, Haymitch, too, of course. Then the train is leaving, swallowing us in darkness before I can take my first free breath when the lightness comes.

Soon I will see my mother and Prim. Even Gale. They will all be waiting for me to come home. I go off to the bathroom, washing the make-up away and bradding my hair back. Now I look like Katniss Everdeen the girl who is from the Seam and hunts. But so much has changed since that Katniss. When I join the others, Peeta wraps his arm around me on the sofa, reminding me just how much everything has changed. What will happen between us when we reach home?

When the train makes a brief stop for fuel, we're allowed out for fresh air. Peeta and I walking hand in hand along the tracks and woods. He stops to gather a wild of bunch of flowers for me, making me smile as he doesn't realise that they're in fact tops of onions.

Haymitch nods at us as we hop back on, rolling his eyes at the flowers. I don't hide the smile or the blush on my face and Effie even offers to find a vase for them, saying how adorable the two of us are. Then I spend the rest of the day in Peeta's arms, laughing and talking about things that never were spoken during the games. And even when I go to bed, he follows me shyly, but I allow him to stay as I don't want him to be anywhere else but with me.

Then in the morning the train is pulling back into District twelve, excitement and nerves are building inside me again. But this time it's because I'm about to see my family. Maybe, also, because I'm worried about what my mother would say about Peeta.

"Worried about your mother?" Peeta asks, taking my hand.

"I'm more worried about what she'll do to you," I say.

"Thank god the cameras are here then," he says and then laughs. The cameras won't be round for long and soon he'll have to face my mother. But for last time we hold hands and face the cameras together.

The train stops. Outside, District twelve has gathered to meet us. Already I am searching for my family. The door opens and then Effie is walking out, waving to the crowds and cameras. Followed by Haymitch, who just nods. And then it is us. We step out, feeling the welcome of our home. My eyes search the crowd, finding Prim and my mother, who are both smiling and crying. Then, Gale. He's standing with his family, a proud smile on his face.

"Katniss!" My mother says hugging me. Surprising me, but I welcome her embrace. "Your cousins are here to see you as well." I look up to see she is pointing at Gale and his family. Cousins? Perhaps it didn't look good having a male friend with the whole romance. Gale and I do look like each other with the Seam brown hair and grey eyes.

"I forgive you!" Prim wraps her arms around me and I pick her up, holding her closer.

"Oh, Prim." I whisper. "I always wanted to keep your promise, I just didn't know how."

"It doesn't matter. You're home." She says and I know she is crying.

"Congratulations, Catnip," Gale says but something is different about him, his tone is harder and he can't completely look at me. Hazelle rolls her eyes and gives me a somewhat awkward hug as Prim is still in my arms. Then the rest of her kids, Vick, Rory and Posy are hugging me, telling me they knew I could win.

I turn to find Peeta, finding him standing with his father, mother and brothers. His witch of a mother is glaring at me, but she nods her head towards me. Why, I don't know. Peeta sees me watching and smiles, coming over to join us. Oh, no. Is this really about to happen.

Prim jumps down to the ground, she's gotten too big for me to hold her and instead she holds my hand. I can't help but see Rue in her now and I close my eyes, sending the memory away. She squeezes my hand. Peeta takes my other hand. And I notice that all cameras are on us now.

"Peeta Mellark," my mother says. "I know my daughter warned you that you should be frightened of me." I can hear the Capitol laughing from here. I'm relieved my mother is creating some sort of show out of this, but I hope it isn't permanent.

"She has, Mrs Everdeen." He says politely.

"And I hope you understand that she is too young for a boyfriend," she says and then Peeta lets go of my hand, stepping away from me. This must be top entertainment for the Capitol today.

"Good luck trying to keep them apart," says Haymitch.

"Oh, leave them be!" says Effie smiling. "Anyway, I'm staying to help you settle into your homes before I leave."

"Katniss, I get to stay with you, don't I?" Prim asks.

"I wouldn't go anywhere without you," I poke her belly and she giggles. The sound reminds me of Rue again. "How does it sound to have your own room?"

"It sounds wonderful," she says, hugging me again.

"Come on, then!" Says Effie. "We have another big, big ,big day!"

**(a/n): I hope you enjoyed that sweet ending. Of course, Gale has started to make that awful appearance we're all dreading. But at least we know how Katniss feels. The next few chapters will be all from my imagination as it will be between the hunger games and catching fire. I think it will be up on Saturday or Sunday as I've left all my homework to the last minute. Please tell me what you think.**

**Teaser for next chapter: They move into the victor houses but Gale manages to create drama. What do you think could happen?**


	17. Finding home

**(a/n): In Catching Fire you only get a glimpse of what it was like for Katniss to come home. I don't think it was that easy to settle back down to reality, so this is my take on what happened. There is some cute Everlark moments and Katniss and Prim. I forgot Madge at the home coming, I feel so bad, but I've covered it. Enjoy the chapter. **

**Chapter 17: Finding home**.

After everyone had welcome us home, packages were handed out to all the families. This is the best bit about winning, seeing all the Seam children's faces light up as they are handed food that will last them a month. Us winning has given them this for a year, a package every month. It's touching to see. Adults walked past us, nodding their heads and thanking us. All of them going home to have a cooked meal, a proper meal. All those children's stomachs will be full tonight.

"I'll meet you at your house, if you like?" Peeta asks shyly. Now that we're home around our families, he's turning shy? My smile only gets bigger.

"OK," I say. I know everyone is watching us, including my mother and his parents, but he doesn't hesitate to kiss me. Then he leaves with his family, turning around now and then to look back at me as I watch him leave. I have to take a few seconds to calm myself down, he's home now, he can be away from me and nothing will harm or kill him.

"Katniss," Prim whispers to me. "You have nothing to worry about. He's going to be fine now."

But I'm not thinking about the tributes that wanted to kill us, the tributes that are now dead, I'm thinking about that time with the bread, when his mother gave him that red welt. The games have made me protective of him, I just want to put him up on a shelf where no one can harm or touch him.

"Katniss!" Effie calls. "We're wasting daylight!" She seems to think we have a lot to pack up. A lot of furniture and belongings that needs all my family, Effie, Gale and his family and even Haymitch, who Effie is demanding that he helps. But with a sinking feeling I know that Effie is going to be shocked when she comes across our small house, how she will pity us.

What I'm happy for is how everyone has given me and Prim some distance, allowing us to spend some time together. She holds my hand, telling me how she listened to my instructions and how she's doing at school. And then she asks a question, "Is Peeta your boyfriend now?"

The blush reddens my cheeks, causing Prim to giggle. I'm thinking back to Rue again, how she asked me a similar question. Prim sees my face and she stops giggling, feeling bad. "Oh, Katniss! I'm so sorry."

"Why are you sorry?" I ask her confused.

"It's none of my business," she says.

"Prim, of course it's your business. You didn't do anything wrong." I say. It's not her fault that everything reminds me of Rue, or how the games are still and will never leave my mind. "I don't know what to call me and Peeta."

"But you love him. Everyone could see that," she says. "I can see how it's changed everyone."

"Changed? How?" I ask.

"Ever since the interviews, the love you and Peeta have for each other has started to give everyone hope." She says.

"Hope?" I question.

"It's hard to explain, you have to see it to understand," she says. Understand how mine and Peeta's love is changing people? Is this to do with the berries? I'm suddenly worried that I haven't calmed down the situation, and that President Snow will be coming to punish me and Peeta.

"But you've changed as well," Prim says. "When you're with Peeta you open up more just like you did at home. Everyone got to see this new side to you. We would stand in the square and watch. The two of you moved everyone."

"We did?" I say shocked.

"Yes," Prim says. "Even during those final moments. We were told to watch from the square, all of us crammed together. When they changed the rules and you brought out those berries. There was complete silence. When you won, everyone raised their three middle fingers for both of you. They respect and support you." Her words shocked me. This is what the berries are doing? Have I managed to contain from any further rebellious behavior being made?

"We should have brought the cars," Effie says when we reach my house. "That was an extremely long walk and we have to carry everything to your house."

I don't have the heart to tell her that there won't be much to carry. Not even my mother or Prim want to tell her. Instead Prim says, "I have my red wagon that we can fill up."

"Perfect. It's Gale, isn't it?" Effie asks Gale. I can see that Gale isn't impressed about talking to Effie.

"Yes." He says. "Katniss' cousin." The way he says it makes me flinch. What is wrong with him?

"The cameras are all gone, dear. We don't have to pretend anymore." Effie whispers. "But a strong man like you can pull the wagon."

"Fine," Gale says.

We all enter my house, behind me I can hear Hazelle reminding Gale about his manners and his promise to her. I guess I'll just have to ask what's wrong with Gale later, if he doesn't tell me then I knowHazelle will.

Just as I predicted, Effie's face drops as she takes in our small house. The one bedroom, bathroom that only has a tub, the kitchen and then our small makeshift living area. We're probably only going to need Prim's wagon to carry our belongings to our new home.

"Well… it looks cosy." Effie says trying to compose her face. "I like what you did with the living room." We watch as she crosses the room, her heels echoing on the wood, to look at the pictures on the fire place. She looks completely out of place, her bright colours next to my old run-down home.

Haymitch exchange a look with me, he was obviously expecting this. I want to talk to him about what Prim told me but now isn't the time. Prim takes Effie of to the bedroom, wanting her to help her pack up her few clothes and belongings. Effie seems to love Prim already, who could blame her, really. My mother starts to pack up her herbs and medicines, Hazelle helping her. The kids are told to play outside but Rory helps Gale with the putting pictures in a box carefully. Was I really in the Hunger Games? Everything seems normal a part from Effie and Haymitch, as well as us packing to move out. It doesn't seem right to just go back home and go on like the past several weeks haven't happened.

"Your get used to it soon, sweetheart," Haymitch says standing next to me. "You learn to go on with your life."

"It's like I'm still trying to find home." I say.

"That's because you never leave the games. Your mind will always be back in those woods," Haymitch says taking a sip of his flask. "It's going to take you time before you'll find your home here again."

"Have you ever found home again?" I ask.

"No," he says. "At least you have the boy and your family to help you find yours."

I can't help but wonder if Haymitch drinks to get through with having been in the games and whether it's because he's lonely as well. Every year he's spent shipping kids off to their death, but now he isn't alone as Peeta and I will be joining him. But I have a feeling it's something more than just that.

Effie and Prim come out of the bedroom, their arms full with Prim's clothes and other belongings of hers. I can also see she has Buttercup. The cat growls at me as I walk past, making me jump more than anything. Everyone turns to look at me and I hurry into the bedroom, embarrassed. How did a cat scare me after I've just been in the games?

Perhaps it is harder coming home then I thought it would be. Seeing my family and Gale have given me relief, I thought I would never see them again. But even Gale seems as distant as when I was in the Capitol. I put on my father's hunting jacket, shoving all my clothes in his bag and a box. That's all I have really, my mother would have picked up the family book that has drawings of plants in that we can eat and use for medicine. When I turn around I'm startled by Gale and I end up dropping the box.

"Why does everyone keep doing that?" I snap picking up the box again.

"I should have knocked," Gale says. "I didn't mean to startle you. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," I say. There's an awkwardness between me and Gale and I have no idea why.

He pauses for a second, his eyes lingering on the floor and then he moves to sit down on the bed. I have to turn my body to face him, confused with what's wrong with him. "Was I really that forgettable during the games?" He asks.

"What?" I say.

"I've known how you've felt about him and I've coped with it, I learned to ignore it. But didn't you ever think about me once during those games?" he asks.

"Of course I thought of you!" I tell him.

"But not in the way you thought of Peeta," he says. His eyes flicker up to mine and the pain is clear in them.

"What are you talking about, Gale?" I ask confused.

"You was oblivious to his feelings towards you all these years and now you can't even see my own feelings towards you! I had always hoped that maybe you would get over him that you would never find out how he feels," he says, burring his head in his hands.

The box almost falls from my hands again as I realise what Gale is saying to me. He doesn't just see me as a little sister or a best friend that I thought he did. His feelings go deeper than that. I don't know what to say, what to do to make this better. How can I tell him that I don't feel the same way without hurting him even more? He takes my silence as a response.

"You may be in love with Peeta but a part of you has feelings for me," he tells me.

"Gale…" I begin.

"No. And do you want to know what's funny?" he lets out a hard laugh. "How before the reaping you told me that you never wanted a relationship, to make a commitment to anyone. You never wanted to get married or have children in the future. And now look where you are, _Kat._"

"I still don't!" I snap at him. "I never wanted any of this. And now after living through those games, after being a part of them, I never want that future. That's why I never spoke to him and kept my distance. Don't you see? I stayed away because I didn't want it to end up like this! Now I don't have a choice!"

Gale looks up, looking behind me and I turn to see Peeta standing in the doorway. The pain on his face causes my heart to break. He heard everything I said. After saving him, I'm the one to now destroy him. "Peeta…"

"Don't bother." He says, turning on his heel and leaving the room.

I turn around, wanting to run after him. Wanting to apologise and tell him I never meant it, that it wasn't true. But, really, it was true. Gale catches my arm, "Let go!" I snap at him, blaming him for this. He lets me go and then I run out of the room. People shout after me, but I ignore them needing to find Peeta.

He's walking down the road, his hands clenched into fists and his shoulders are tense. I hate myself for hurting him. He can't run on his leg, so I easily catch up to him. "Peeta. Please let me explain," I beg him.

"There's nothing to explain." He says, turning the other way so he doesn't have to look at me.

"If you don't stop then I'll make you stop," I threaten him and it works. He turns around to face me and my heart squeezes when I see that he is close to tears. I've caused him pain, I never wanted this to happen.

"What, Katniss?" He asks. "I think I got the message and don't worry I'm not going to force you into being with me or not."

"It wasn't about being forced to be with you or not," I say.

"Then what?" He asks and he's looking down the road, not wanting to look at me. I can feel the tears building up again, but I hold them down needing to explain myself.

"I don't have a choice because I don't want to be away from you anymore. Now that I know you feel the same way and after the games… I can't go on living without you." I tell him.

"But you never wanted to be with me in the first place," he says his voice breaking with the pain.

"Of course I wanted to be with you!" I take a step closer to him. "I stayed away because a future like that scared me. You were from town and I didn't think you would ever have feelings for someone like me from the Seam. You deserved a lot better."

"But I didn't care where you came from, Kat." He says.

"How was I supposed to know? How was I supposed to know that you felt exactly the same like I did?" I say.

"So what? Do you just want to be friends like you and Gale? Because that seems to be working out great for the two of you," he says.

I take his hand, entwining my fingers with his. "I want you. That's all I want now."

"But you don't want a future with me?" He asks.

"Can we just live in the present for now? Worry about the future later," I say not wanting to talk about it anymore with Peeta. We're both still only sixteen.

"What is the present?" Peeta questions, bringing my hand up to kiss it. I smile, relieved that we're back to where we started. Happy to see that the pain has now disappeared from his face.

"You and me." I say.

"Together?" he says.

"Together." I say and then he kisses me. He wraps his arms around me, moving his hands along my back and into my hair as I wrap mine around his neck. This is our first proper kiss being home and I know people are looking as they walk by. Peeta rests his forehead against mine. "I think we have an audience."

"We always do," he says and we both laugh.

"Where's all your belongings?" I ask him as we walk back to my house, my hand in his.

"I left them at the bakery for now. I'll just bring them back tomorrow after work." He says.

"Work? You've only just got home," I say.

"My mother wanted me back helping at the bakery. I managed to get just the afternoon shift thanks to my dad," he says. I grit my teeth, I keep quiet because its Peeta's mother but she is a real witch to him. "Dad wants you to come round soon. For dinner."

I imagine sitting and eating dinner at the Mellark's. Most of the food laid out in front of me would likely be what I traded the baker that morning. How his father would sit down silently and his brothers would most likely tease him. Then his mother. I don't think I could sit through a whole dinner with her. "Really?" I say.

He laughs at my reaction. "Don't worry, Kat. He just wants to get to know you as my girlfriend instead of someone he trades with."

So I am Peeta's girlfriend? That must mean he's my boyfriend. "I can't wait," I say.

"You sound so excited," he teases and then kisses the top of my head.

When we get back to my house, no one questions what went on between Peeta, Gale and I. But Gale and Hazelle have left with the family. I don't question why. Peeta brings out some cookies and hands them to Prim, who smiles.

"Thank you! I've never had a whole cookie to myself before." Prim says and I knock a box of the table. Everyone looks at me confused. _I've never had a whole leg to myself before. _It's all too much. I'm seeing Rue in Prim in everything she does and says. How am I supposed to find home if I'm still back in the arena? How has Haymitch managed to cope all these years? How is Peeta copying?

"Kat?" Peeta questions, taking my arm.

"I- I'm fine," I say bending down to pick up what fell out of the box. My hands are shaking and I have to quickly move them before anyone can realise. But in the end I give up on picking everything up and leave the house, needing the fresh air.

I end up sitting behind an old oak tree that's near our house, curling myself up in a ball as I cry. All the loss, the deaths and everything we went through has seemed to have hit me. The emotions of the games and coming home to find everything normal. People getting on with their lives. How everything reminds me of the arena, the woods and Prim, reminding me of Rue. Peeta pulls me into his chest, allowing me to cry as he whispers soothing things to me. I don't know how I'm supposed to move on from the arena but I'm glad I have Peeta to help me. We will help each other.

It takes me some time to calm down, until my body is unable to produce anymore tears. Even when Peeta tells me that it will get better, I know he's telling himself that as well as me. But how do you live with having being a part of the games? How does it get better? The crying has worn my body out and soon my body is too exhausted to stay awake.

I'm in the living room of my new house. Prim is sitting in front of me, Buttercup is on her lap. Then my mother is sat on the other sofa watching the TV. I see myself on the screen, standing next to Peeta with my family as they play the welcoming home. Then I realise my head is on Peeta's lap and I wonder what he is doing here. My hand reaches out, playing with Prim's braid like I use to do to soothe her. Peeta is doing the same with mine.

"You're awake," Prim says turning around.

"I am," I say.

"Peeta was going to put you into bed but they wasn't made when we got here," Prim explains.

"Oh, let me guess, you've already chosen your room," I say grinning at her.

"I've waited until you've woken up," Prim says.

"You get the best pick, little duck," I say sitting up.

Prim gets up and then turns back to me, "Can I sleep with you tonight, though?"

"Yes. I tell you what, go pick your bedroom and then I have a surprise for you," I say smiling. The cupboards will already be stocked with food from the Capitol, a present from Effie.

Prim leaves after that, going up the stairs to the second floor. Stairs! Second floor! Our old house was only the one floor and now we have more rooms than we need. My mother has seemed to have disappeared, busying herself in the kitchen. One thing I want to do is try and fix my relationship with my mother.

I turn to Peeta, he's watching me with an amused expression. "What?" I ask.

"Nothing. I'm just thinking about how you brought Lady for the money and not because it brought your sister happiness," he says with a grin.

"Well then if that's what you're thinking about then you can't have any of the surprise," I say.

"I wasn't planning on invading the time with your sister," he says and the sweetness makes me smile. "But are you all right?"

He takes my hand, holding it up to his lips again. "I'm fine, now," I say. "She just reminds me a lot like Rue." I have to whisper her name, even saying it out loud hurts.

He nods his head. "My brother came up behind me, making me jump," Peeta says. "Haymitch told me that it will take us a while for us to control dealing with being in the games."

I rest my forehead on his shoulder. "I thought coming home would be simple."

"So did I," Peeta says.

"But I've found it hard to find home. So far it's only with you, Prim and my mother." I say.

"Things will go back to normal eventually," Peeta says kissing the top of my head.

"I don't think there will be a normal for us anymore," I say and then Prim is coming back downstairs. She's smiling and telling me how she's found one that allows her to see Lady from her window.

Peeta kisses me. "I'll see you tomorrow." He says and then kisses me again. I don't want him to leave, we've shared all those nights together and now coming home means we live in two separate buildings.

"It was nice to meet you properly, Prim," he says, hugging her.

She whispers something to him and then Peeta looks up grinning at me. "If I need you I'll come and get you then, but I have to talk to someone else first." He says. I raise my eyebrows as the two of them laugh.

Peeta gives me one last look, it's strained and I know, just like me, he doesn't want to be separated. When he leaves it's like a part of me is gone with him, but he's right I do need to spend some time with just me and Prim. I will see him tomorrow, he's only next door sleeping. No harm will come to him.

"Katniss, he's going to be fine. Nothing is going to harm him here. He is safe. You both are," Prim tells me again.

"You're right, little duck," I kiss the top of her head, she's grown up so fast in the time I've been away. "How about that surprise?"

We go into the kitchen, I even let my mother join us as I show them what hot chocolate is. Prim gets all excited and asks if we could dip strawberries in the chocolate. This is something we've never done before, not since my father died, so my mother melts the chocolate, while Prim and I cut up the strawberries and whatever else we can find that would taste good. Maybe I won't find home but maybe I can make a new one with my family and Peeta. Even Haymitch.

But even finding a new home within my home is hard. Prim sleeps with me that night but sleep doesn't find me, I lay awake playing with her hair while I think about the boy next door. How my body aches to be in his arms, to listen to his heartbeat under his chest knowing that he is alive and let him soothe me of to a peaceful sleep. And how the next day Madge visits, bringing strawberries as a house warming gift. She couldn't be at the train station as her mom needed her help. But all I can think about is how Gale likely picked those strawberries and I wonder whether he is all right.

I want to escape to the woods, to join him in hunting and gathering. But I know Prim and my mother are wanting to spend time to me. They've been afraid that they may never get to see me again and I hadn't planned on seeing them again, either. Peeta comes round after his shift at the bakery, bringing more cakes and sweets for Prim. He even brought cheese buns for me. My favourite.

Haymitch doesn't show up and Peeta and I go round, Prim wanted to come but I was worried about what state he is in. He's drunk, the promise of him staying sober to help us is now over. And I can't help but wonder if I am alone to face the consequences of the berries.

For the next week it's like that. Madge comes over to visit and when I offer her the mockingjay pin back she tells me no, telling me it's a gift and that I will need it. Then after Peeta's shifts at the bakery he sees me, where we spend time together. It's the worst part, seeing each other is limited because of our different lives. We both check in on Haymitch, make sure he has food and enough drink to sustain him. And then we walk round the town, holding hands, kissing and laughing, ignoring how everyone watches us. But it's hard to miss how people nod their heads, smile at us and people from school all want to talk to us.

It's then when I see what Prim meant. Something has changed about our district, hope is everywhere I look. In people's eyes, there smiles and especially when they see us. It worries me. But I pretend that everything is normal, not wanting to worry Peeta or have him involved. The games are over and I am still protecting him.

Then, finally, after a long wait, when Prim is forced to go back to school and my mother has patients, I can change from the new clothes given by Cinna to my old father's jacket and escape to the woods. Checking the fence for silence and when there is no buzz, I smile, slipping through the fence.

A part of me is anticipated in seeing Gale, thinking we would just make up over the other day and be friends again. But now he's declared his feelings for me I don't think it will be that easy. And we only have limited time in the woods together before he is sent off to the mines.

When I reach the hollow tree, I find that Gale's bow is already missing. It sends a thrill of excitement that he will be waiting on the hill for me. But also having the familiar bow and arrow of my fathers in my hand sends a happiness through me. Until I think about the boy from District one I killed firing an arrow. I shake the memory away, refusing to allow the games to ruin my time in the woods. My family may not be counting on me anymore, but I still have Gale's family to feed. Or help him feed.

Soon I am waiting in the space where we always meet. The hills. How I sit there waiting for hours for him to show up. But he doesn't. It's only when the sun reaches mid-afternoon that I know I've lost my hunting partner, my best friend. How I thought I could find my home out here again but to only lose Gale instead.

**(a/n): Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I do feel for Gale but he just needs to realise that he will never have a chance with Katniss and that there could be someone else... but who? The next chapter will be up tomorrow. Please do review and tell me what you think. **

**Teaser for next chapter: Katniss and Peeta go on a date together. **


	18. A date

**(a/n): Thank you all so much for all the reviews. This chapter is cute and a little sad if you think mockingjay wise. If you haven't read or seen catching fire and mockingjay then this story is obviously going to have spoilers. But enjoy the chapter.**

**Chapter 18: A date.**

Nightmares of losing Peeta, watching as Rue dies again and the mutts chasing us appear every night. The woods around me comfort me, while Peeta is at work this is all I have. Before I have gone to the bakery needing him or lay around waiting for him to come home. If I go to the bakery then I have to deal with his mother shouting at him and sometimes that makes it worse.

I'm alone in the woods. Gale has gone off to work in the mines, the only day we can see each other is on a Sunday but he never comes. I spend the day sitting in the hills, on my own, waiting for someone who never shows up. But while he is working, I check the snares and keep his family supported. It's not like my family need me supporting them now.

At first it took me a while to be able to hunt again. With every shot I made I saw the boy from District one die, leaving me staring at nothing that's there. Every twig snap in the forest, every animal that made an appearance startles me. I know Peeta worries about me when I'm out in the woods but we both know I will never stay away. The woods or my old home to sit in with Buttercup, who, like me, can't get used to the new house, are the only places I have to be alone.

I've managed to get enough game to trade around the Hob and game that would feed Gale's family for a few days. The last of the strawberries for the season are picked and I gather what I can find. Winter is soon coming, so soon roots and greens will be gone. First, I decide to go to Hazelle's.

She sees me through her window and smiles, opening the door for me to come in, "Honestly, Katniss, you're a true sweetheart. Isn't there anything I can give you?"

"No, its fine. Gale kept my family fed when I wasn't around," I tell her. She nods her head, understanding that I owe him.

"Have the two of you made up yet?" she asks taking the squirrel and rabbit from me. I empty my bag of roots, greens and some of the strawberries that I've put in separate bags.

"No. I haven't seen him since," I say. "I never wanted this to happen."

"I know you didn't." she gives me a small hug. "But give him time and he'll soon come round."

After that I go round trading with the Peacekeepers, but there isn't much they can give me now that I have more than enough. Madge takes the strawberries for free now, it took me a while for her and her father to accept it, but in the end I think they did for me. Before I go to the Hob, I stop by at the bakery. This part always makes me nervous now as it's so different from before the games.

"Katniss," the baker says opening the door. "You know you're welcome inside."

"I have to go to the Hob," I tell him and hold up the squirrel for him. "I brought you this."

Just like Madge and her father, it took the baker a long time to accept my offerings without payment, but he's Peeta's father. He takes the squirrel. "Come in. We haven't opened yet."

"For a bit then," I say and enter behind the baker. I hug my elbows closer to my chest, this isn't going to go down well. Especially, when I'm still carrying a few rabbits. But the baker leads me round to the bakery, to where Peeta is baking. Before, I've always come through the customer entrance if I needed to see Peeta. Sometimes it was just needing to see him in front of me, alive, others I needed him to hold me, to tell me we are safe. The back entrance makes me feel even more out of place. But when Peeta looks up and sees me, his smile seems to make me forget. "Hi."

"Hi," he says patting the flour from his hands. "What are you doing here? On the other side of the counter."

"She brought us dinner for tonight," says the baker holding up the squirrel.

"Your father let me in," I say and watch as Peeta flashes me an amused grin. He knows how I'm feeling and its amusing him, I can't help but glare at him that only makes the grin bigger.

"How about some tea and biscuits?" the baker says busying himself with getting cups and boiling water. I don't have a choice, so I stand awkwardly in the kitchen. Its obvious Peeta's mother isn't here or I wouldn't be allowed to stand where I am.

Peeta puts the last of the bread in the oven before he comes over to join me. He whispers in my ear, "You don't have to be shy, it's only my father."

"I'm glad this is amusing you," I whisper back sarcastically and he flashes me another grin.

"Would you like some breakfast?" he asks taking my hands. "Cheese buns have just come out the oven or I could cook you something else?"

"It's fine. Greasy Sae has a new dish she wants me to try," I tell him. When I first went to the Hob, Greasy Sae had demanded to meet the boy. So when I brought him, we both laughed as he tried her soup, neither of us telling him what was in it. His sweetness and politeness never made him question it. "You go ahead and eat something, though."

"I've already eaten," he says pulling me closer by my hands. I'm blushing as his father is in the same room, but he doesn't seem to care. "Did you sleep all right?"

I look up, biting my lip and he seems to know. The nightmares are always the same and Peeta dreams the same, about losing me. But seeing my light on in the morning helps him clam down, so now I always look to see if his light is on as well. "It will get better," he says and kisses the top of my forehead.

"Do you kids want to go upstairs?" the baker said and the name 'kids' makes me flinch. It's a reminder that we're still young, still supposed to be in school and it seems the games have taken even that from us. "I'll be up in a bit."

Peeta leads me out of the bakery by the hand and as soon as we leave the room he pulls me in for a kiss. His thumbs rubbing soothing circles around my cheekbones. I smile, kissing him again and then he takes me upstairs to where he used to live.

His house has its similarities and differences from my old one. There isn't much furniture, but it has more rooms. It seems a lot brighter than my old home and the smell of cinnamon is heavy in the air. I can't help but feel out of place, even though we both live in the victor houses, his old house makes me feel like I don't belong here. And I don't. You never hear of children from the Seam going into the town's people's houses.

"Kat?" Peeta questions seeing my expression.

"Hmm?" I say looking up and forcing a smile on my face.

"Don't feel like you don't belong," Peeta says seeing through my defence. "My father and I want you here." I know his mother doesn't but what about his brothers?

Peeta pulls me down onto the sofa next to him, wrapping his arm securely around me. I rest my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes. He rests his forehead against my head, letting the silence take over. This is where I find peace. Having him next to me helps calm me down, it allows my mind to rest from all the worrying and panicking that something has happened to him. That Snow hasn't taken him away from me.

His father puts a tray on the table making the both of us jump. "Sorry, kids," he says.

I smile slightly, embarrassed to be caught in an embrace with Peeta. But I try to welcome the baker more in, for Peeta. A part of me knows that this is important to him and I know that he has been trying to win my mother over. And the baker is good, he doesn't talk about the games or about us, most of the time we sit in silence. He talks to me about hunting and what it's like out there in the woods. Then I somehow find myself explaining everything I see when I'm out there. The only thing I don't tell him about is the lake as that is just mine and my fathers.

"I even thought about taking Prim out in the woods," I say laughing. "Teaching her how to hunt."

"Was she scared?" Peeta asks. He's smiling again the story amusing him.

"No, I never asked her. Prim would be the one that cried whenever I shot game down," I say thinking about how she cried over Lady and Buttercup. "She would have tried everything she could to save it."

The baker laughs. "Just like her mother would. You'd be surprised how much they have in common."

It's strange hearing the baker talking about my mother but I remember what Peeta told me about him wanting to marry her. "Really?" I say.

"Yes, there was this one time after school. We was all walking home. Your mother was walking with her friends," he pauses and I know he is watching what he says. Why? "Back then, you have to understand, the Peacekeepers weren't like how they're today. We had all watched as one of them shot a dog, him claiming that the dog was about to attack him. It wasn't, you could see it just wanted some attention. Your mother had screamed just like everyone else. The Peacekeeper left finding someone else to take his anger out on. Of course, your mother went straight to the dog, not caring that she would get into serious trouble. We had all watched as she tried everything to save the poor thing, but it was already dead."

My mother has never told me that before, not now or even before my father died. It's strange to hear a story about my mother, to even hear a story about the Peacekeepers like that. I can't help but imagine Prim instead of my mother. There's a silence between the three of us that lasts a while as we finish our tea and the biscuits.

"We better get back downstairs. Bakery is about to open," the baker says.

"I have to get going," I say thinking about how the meat is likely to go rotten soon if it isn't contained. "People at the Hob will be wondering where I am."

"Don't be a stranger, Katniss," the baker says. "Has Peeta told you we've arranged for you to come over for dinner next week?"

"No, sir," I say. The baker has started to grow on me, but having dinner with Peeta's brothers and his mother isn't going to be pleasant.

He looks up to his son smiling, "I see," he says and then he looks back to me again. "You don't have to call me 'sir'. Call me David."

"OK, David," I say testing his name out. It's strange, all these years I've just known him as the baker or Peeta's father. Now he has a name.

The baker – David – goes downstairs after that, leaving me alone with Peeta again. He takes me down, walking me towards the back door and pauses. "I'll see you at lunch, then," he says.

"See you at lunch," I say and kiss him. He holds onto me longer, not wanting to let go and I don't want him to. I think about how my mother told me that we should keep some distance that it will help us to settle down again. We have to learn to believe that the other is safe without us being together. I kiss him again, before kissing his cheek and then opening the door.

"I love you, Kat," he says smiling. I give him a smile and then I'm returning back to the square, telling myself that he will be fine. My gut is already twisting with the separation again and it's going to take time for it to calm down. I walk to the Hob, breathing in the fresh air.

The worst part of the day is when I enter the Hob. Everyone turns to look at me and I do my best to ignore there expressions of gratitude and respect. The heavy bag of money tied to my belt feels even heavier here. Greasy Sae waves me over, a bowl of soup she made is already served for me. Since I found out that everyone in here sponsored for us, I have been trying to go round buying something from every stall to pay them back.

"You're later than usual," she says. "That boy been distracting you?"

The blush on my face must answer her question as she laughs. "What's in the soup today?" I ask.

"Beef with a bit of spice," she says with a wink.

The wild dog I shot down yesterday must be her beef, the spices could be anything. Still, I eat the soup up, handing her over the rabbits and what's left of the greens and roots. "This will make a lovely soup," she says.

"How many different soups can you make?" I ask.

"As many as my imagination creates," she says as I laugh. "Any sign of Gale lately? He only pops by around Sundays."

"He's started the mines now, hasn't he?" I say. The Gale topic with people hurts to talk about, it's hard to even talk to Peeta about him.

"Yes, but that doesn't mean he should stop seeing you," she says waving her wooden spoon at me.

"I've tired, he doesn't want to talk to me," I say.

"When I see that boy next I'll make sure he'll speak to you," she says shaking her head.

After I make my way around the Hob, buying a few things here and there. Some more herbs and bandages for my mother. Then some string and spices. I make my way back home after, watching the sky as the sun slowly makes it way to midday.

"I'm home," I say when I enter the house. I hang the bag up, taking my father's jacket of and my shoes.

"Katniss?" Prim calls from the living room where I find her with Buttercup on her lap. "Mom is in the study."

The study is used for Prim to do her homework or my mother to deal with patients documents. I leave the herbs and bandages on the kitchen table, not knowing where they go. Then I sit on the sofa next to Prim.

"Katniss, you need to start finding you talent," Prim says, reminding me it's only a couple of months before the cameras return wanting to see my talent and start the victor's tour. A month since I've come home, a month since I last spoke to Gale. "And practicing it by the looks of things."

"What else have you got on your list?" I groan and Prim pulls out her notebook from her jacket pocket.

"Um… how about gardening? Sculpturing? Candle making?" Prim says. We've already gone through two pages of her notebook. Peeta's all sorted. The talent he has for painting takes my breath away, but I can only watch him paint for a while before the memories of the games are too much.

"No," I sigh. This is how I spend the next few hours, Prim going through her new list of hobbies for me. Answering some before I even have the chance to open my mouth. We even try a few that we can, coming to the conclusion of crossing them of her list. But I can see with everyone we try that Prim is enjoying herself. And even then Prim ends up being good at a few of them more than me.

"It's hopeless, Prim." I put the pillow on top of my head, burying myself from the world. All I'm good at is the bow and arrow, but apparently that's not acceptable for a talent.

There's a knock at the door and Prim goes to answer it. I hear Peeta's voice greet Prim and then I am groaning again, embarrassed how I'm not good at anything. Not a single talent when how many does he have?

Peeta chuckles. "I leave you for a few hours," he says shaking his head. "Have I come at a wrong time?"

"We're trying to find Katniss' talent but so far we've found nothing," Prim says and I'm hoping she doesn't show her notebook to him or explain myself trying to attempt them.

"Now she's hiding from everyone?" Peeta says and I know he's grinning. It must be lunch if he's back. The smell of cinnamon and the bakery is already strong and I'm covering my face with a pillow.

"I'm almost running out of ideas," Prim says thinking. "Maybe sewing or jewellery making."

"I don't think that's her type of thing," Peeta says and the two of them laugh like I'm not here. "Why don't you sing? That's your talent."

"I don't sing," I say closing my eyes. Singing use to be mine and my father's talent, now it only reminds me of how I sang Rue to sleep and how my father is dead. They're both silent only reminding me even more and then Peeta pulls the pillow away from my face.

"Enough of talent hunting then," he says giving me a kiss. "Come on, I have a surprise."

I frown. "I hate surprises."

"But you're going to love this one," he says taking my hands to help me up. "Prim helped me with it."

Prim only gives me a smile, "Have fun." And then she is heading into the study.

Peeta is smiling even more than usual, which causes me to raise my eyebrows. He buttons up my coat for me, the weather outside is turning cold. Then he takes my hand, pulling me out of the house behind him. I follow him, thinking we're going out somewhere, but he is leading me towards his house. Then he brings out his keys, opening his door. "Close your eyes," he says and I do, he chuckles at the frown on my face. Then he is guiding me into the house, into his living room. "Open them."

My eyes open, finding a red blanket spread out on his floor and a basket is in the middle. Plates and wine glasses sit laid out on either side of the basket, with matching red napkins. I turn to face him, seeing a shy smile on his face. "We never had that date," he says.

"Oh, Peeta," I say kissing him lightly. "Thank you."

He helps me take of my coat and then we're sitting down on the blanket. I can't stop smiling over how sweet an thoughtful he is. The weather outside is too cold to go out on a picnic so he's brought it inside. "I even asked your mother for permission. I think she's growing on me," he says grinning. Of course my mother is growing on him, who can't help but admire him? "And then your sister wanted to help me plan our first date. It was actually what she whispered to me on the first day home. Do you remember how yesterday I asked Prim if she wanted to come help me?"

"Yes, how she had a massive grin on her face. I had wondered what the two of you were up too," I say grinning. Really, it frustrated me how they had kept whispering to each other and then Prim disappearing with Peeta. They had built a friendship all on their own.

"Well, she came round mine and helped me do the icing on the biscuits," Peeta says. I'm overwhelmed with how much he's done for me, especially in the past month when we've both leaned on each other with going back to normal. The thought of him and Prim together icing biscuits together makes me smile, how he could have done it himself but allowed her to help. I can't stop myself, when I pull him by the shirt towards me for a kiss.

"Thank you," I tell Peeta against his lips. "I love you." We both know I don't say these words much and right now I could say them over and over again. His smile spreads and then he is kissing me again, his hand in my hair holding me closer.

And then he rests his forehead against mine, "I love you, too."

He pulls me in close to him, keeping his arm wrapped around me as we open the basket to get to the food. These past few weeks with him have been more than I could have asked for. Every day without him is painful, the different scenarios that run through my head of losing him. It makes me feel guilty how I had planned on sending him home alone and I know he wouldn't have been able to cope without me, he would have probably ended up like Haymitch or worse.

But now we're slowly learning to go on with our lives while having to deal with being a part of the games. I never found the home from before the reaping, but now I have this new one. My family, my drunk neighbor and the boy with the bread. I've even noticed that, while drunk Haymitch may be, he has seemed happier. Coming over for dinner when we drag him from his drunken state, smiling whenever Prim talks to him. He's not as lonely anymore.

Peeta pulls out the biscuits he and Prim iced, I can see she's trying to do Peeta's flowers that he does on the cakes in the bakery. I smile with pride as I eat one of the biscuits, saving the rest for Prim later. He even has strawberries, cheese buns, apple tarts, cakes and chocolate. Lots of sweet food from the bakery and strawberries that I had gathered for him. Even hot chocolate to drink in our wine glasses that makes me laugh.

Then after the food is all gone, we both lay down on the blanket, facing each other and holding hands. "Did you get all that food from the bakery?" I ask.

"Yeah, my dad said I could take anything I wanted. As long as I brought you home in the next week, sorry." Peeta says smiling.

"I'm not getting out of this, am I?" I say. That was what his father was talking about, saying that I was coming over next week.

"Nope. My brothers want to meet you as well. Riley is always teasing me about you and he ended up mimicking what happened when the rules changed," Peeta pauses and I squeeze his hand, reminding him that we're both here. It's hard talking about the games, even listening as someone talks about it. "He doesn't think before he acts. I know he felt really bad when he realised. My father has never raised his voice at any of us before, but he did and…" he pauses and I know he's keeping something from me. Usually, he leaves his mother out when he's talking about his family and I let him, knowing he needs time before he can talk about her. "Well, my parents got into a big fight about it. Riley had apologised."

"Did he stop teasing you after that?" I ask. I'm glad that the baker had risen his voice at his son and then argued with his wife, it's about time he started standing up for Peeta.

"No, but he watches what he says more often," he says.

"Do your brothers even like me?" I ask. Before, I thought no one liked me and just learned to put up with me. Now it seems everyone respects me and wants to talk to me.

Peeta takes a long time to answer that causes me to frown. "They do… it's just that they've always seen you as this tough girl, who shows no emotions. And then they saw a different side to you during the games."

"Prim said the same thing," I frown.

"You opened up, Kat. How many people had seen that before? Three," Peeta says placing a hand on my hip and pulling me closer to him. "When I first saw you, you were this completely different girl. Someone who would sing given the opportunity and would talk and smile to everyone. You were so much like Prim, you've forgotten. And then your father died and you pulled away from the world. People would whisper around school how they saw you trade something with someone and everyone respected you. They all knew that you was the one feeding your family, while still in school and only eleven years old. People wanted to be you, Kat. But you intimidated them, you had your defences built up and only your family or Gale could break into it."

"But now who am I?" I ask.

"You're still the same girl. What's funny is you still don't know the affect you can have, even after the games. But you've become this braver woman, who would sacrifice herself to save her sister and then the boy she loves. A girl everyone thought was so tough, showing emotions on screen and that has moved everyone. I've heard people talking about you, about us. Something is happening, Kat, and we're the cause of it." He says. I think he thinks that whatever is happening is good, but I know better. Everyday I'm proved to know how wrong I am, how I didn't calm this all down before it even started. But what exactly is starting? What have we moved people to do? I don't understand and Haymitch is too dunk for help.

I don't bother replying, there is nothing to be said after that and I don't want to say anything that could lead to me knowing what could possibly be going on. Peeta already seems to know what I am anticipating and he pushes me down to the floor, leaning over me as he kisses me. This is a completely private kiss. One that leaves me gasping and wanting more. My eyes stay closed as he trails kisses down my jaw and neck, before coming back to my lips. This is the longest we've kissed and I hope it never ends. My hands are sliding up his chest and down his back. He's on his elbows supporting his body from crushing mine. It seems to go on for ever but not long enough and soon he pulls away, stopping before it gets too far.

Then he pulls me closer to him, allowing my head to rest on top of his heart, welcoming the familiar beat of it. I can't help but notice how it's beating faster than usual because of me. He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "Can I ask you a question?" he asks.

"What?" I question.

"What's your favorite colour?" he asks and I look up to him. "I want to get to know the girl I love."

"Green," I say. "What about you?"

"Orange," he says. "But not like the kind of orange Effie wears. Sunset orange."

The smile forms on my lips, he's so sweet and loving. I bury my head closer to his chest, feeling how his hand trials down my spine, making me shiver.

Peeta asks me a load of questions after that, where I found out that his favorite lesson is Art, like I thought and how he guessed mine was music, even though I didn't participate in music anymore. I find out that: his favorite fruit is strawberries; his favorite time of the year is autumn because of all the different colours; his favorite tree is a willow, like mine; and we find out more about each other.

"What's your favorite animal?" he asks.

I have to think long and hard about this one. Before, it would use to be a rabbit because they were usually always around and easy to catch, but now I'm not sure. "I think… the mockingjays because… they remind me… that I'm not alone." And they remind me of my father.

"They've been my favorite since I was five," he says and I roll my eyes smiling. "I love how they all go silent as you sing. It's beautiful."

I look up at him, smiling and wondering how I got so lucky to deserve him. He cups my cheek, leaning down for a loving tender kiss. I can't help but smile against his lips, at the happiness of the moment between us.

**(a/n): Aw. I hope you liked the chapter and their date. I certainly did enjoy writing it. And I've come to love the baker, which, if you know why, is sad. Now he has a name as well as Peeta's brothers. Next chapter will be on Wednesday as I'm back to starting college tomorrow. But please do review and tell me what you think:)**

**Teaser: Katniss goes to dinner with the Mellark's. Do you think everything will go all right between her and his mother? **


	19. Dinner

**(a/n): Thank you for all the lovely reviews. Here is the next chapter. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Chapter 19: Dinner**

I wait outside Prim's school for her. The scarf and gloves Cinna gave me keep me warm from the cold winds that blow. She sees me and smiles, saying goodbye to Rory and her friends before coming over. I accept her hug, turning and taking her hand to walk home.

Soon Peeta will be turning up to take me to his family home for dinner. The thought of having to sit around with him and his family makes my stomach flop. I'm no good at that kind of thing. It took me a while before I could even talk to Peeta's father, now his whole family. But I know this is important to him and it's what his father wants. The fresh air helps clear my head and Prim supports me, but she doesn't talk about it.

When we get home, my mother surprises me with another parcel sat on the sofa. It's from Effie. I don't want to open it. Prim opens it for me, revealing even more booklets and a new lists of talents I should try, then a note from Effie telling me I better read them and that they will help me with preparing for the tour. I don't even look at them. This is the second parcel from her, the last one containing the same and a picture of me and Peeta, a present from her. It now sits on my bedside table, Peeta's on his as well.

I go to the bathroom to shower. There is no tub anymore, we have a working shower with a bath as well, and both have running hot water. I keep the towel wrapped around me, going into my room and opening my wardrobe. "Prim! Mom!" I call.

They both appear at my door, their eyes wide with fright and I give them a small smile, telling them that I'm fine. When I wake up in the nights I call out for them and Peeta, on the worst nights my mother even lets me out to Peeta's. I know she's trying to be a responsible parent, but I can't help but think how she left me to defend myself and our family since I was eleven, now she wants to protect me from boys.

"Sorry," I say. "I just wanted help deciding what to wear." I bite my lip not good at this sort of thing. This is when I need Cinna.

"Why don't you just wear what you like?" Prim says.

I don't want to explain it to them how I don't want to look like that girl from the Seam. How his brothers and mother worry me. But they seem to know and they pull out a nice pair of trousers and a green shirt, like the one I wore on the train. They're all clothes that Cinna have given to me, an outfit that he had planned. Then when I'm dressed my mother brushes and towel dries my hair. I close my eyes trying not to think about the reaping and how she did exactly the same. My hair is then braided.

"Just be yourself," Prim whispers. "Peeta knows that you're not comfortable about this and he won't leave you."

I squeeze her hand. "I know."

Then Peeta is knocking and Prim runs downstairs to get it. My body trembles and I have to force myself to take slow steady breaths. This is a great start. My mother squeezes my hand, something she hasn't done in a long time and then we're going downstairs. I take these few seconds to compose myself, to force a smile onto my face. But when I see Peeta the smile isn't forced.

He's wearing trousers and a shirt, so similar to what he wore at the reaping. He smiles when he sees me, creating a startled gasp as I watch his face light up. In his hands is a red rose bouquet. My mother gives me a little push towards him and then his arms are wrapping around me again. "You ready?" Peeta asks me.

"Let's just go and do this," I say taking his hand, which he squeezes.

"I brought these for you," he says shyly with a sweet smile.

"Thank you," I say blushing as he passes me the flowers.

"I'll put them in a vase for you," my mother says taking the roses. "Have a wonderful time."

We leave after that, walking to the square and to Peeta's family's bakery. He can feel my body shaking and he squeezes my hand again. "Kat, you don't have to do this if you don't want to," he says.

"No. I'm doing it," I say. My name is Katniss Everdeen, I won the Hunger Games, and I can do dinner with Peeta and his family. How is it that I can face the Hunger Games and support my family from such a young age as well as going into the woods, but when it comes to talking to people I can't do it?

"Have you noticed how quiet my father is?" Peeta says trying to distract me. "In public he doesn't talk but at home he's more open. The two of you are like each other in that way."

I kiss his cheek, thanking him. He always knows what to say at the right moment. The bakery comes in sight and I make my face go expressionless, only leaving the smile for everyone to see. We walk down the alley towards the back door, but Peeta pauses bringing me closer for a kiss. "Thank you for doing this," he says kissing my cheek. "I love you."

I smooth his hair back out and let my lips touch his for a second. Then his arm wraps around me and he is knocking on the door. One of Peeta's brothers answers and I swallow my nerves. "Peeta," he grins and I wonder what brother this is. Riley or Alex? "You must be Katniss."

"I must be," I say raising my eyebrows. Everyone knows who I am in District twelve, the whole nation knows my name and he acts like I'm the girlfriend that's being brought home for the first time. The girlfriend the boyfriend has always spoken about. Does Peeta talk a lot about me to his brothers?

"Katniss, this is Riley." Peeta says introducing me to his brother. "Riley, Katniss."

Riley extends his hand. "It's good to _finally _meet you."

I take his hand and shake it. "Likewise."

We go into the house after that, the smell of cinnamon and spices fill the air making my stomach rumble. A clatter of noise comes from the bakery. Peeta guides me upstairs towards their dining room, Riley following behind us. Alex – who has to be the other brother – is sat at the table and stands when we enter. The baker is sat at the head of the table and smiles at me.

"It's good to meet you, Katniss," Alex says shaking my hand. "Peeta has told us a lot about you."

"Has he?" I say wondering what he has possibly said.

"He won't shut up about you," Alex says grinning. "The baby of the family is full with a lot of love."

I turn to look at Peeta, finding him blushing. "Thanks, Alex."

"Stop teasing your brother, Alex," says the baker. "If it wasn't for that love then the two of them wouldn't be joining us for dinner." I flinch at his words, knowing he probably means that we wouldn't be together, but I can't help but think about Peeta lying dead on the ground.

Peeta ignores the comment and I know he is thinking exactly what I am thinking. I take his hand, squeezing it gently as he leads me round the table. Pulling out my chair and then I sit down. I'm relieved when Peeta sits next to me. He takes my hand under the table.

"I'll go down and help your mother with the dinner," the baker says and then pauses at the door. "Behave boys and treat her like a lady."

He leaves and I can't help but notice how everyone turns to look at me. "What?" I ask hating the attention. Peeta starts coughing and I can see that he's trying to hide a laugh.

"How's it been coming home?" Alex asks trying to make conversation.

"Fine," I say, which it hasn't been but I'm not going to share that with them. This is harder than what I thought it would be and it doesn't help when Peeta keeps laughing. I squeeze his hand hard, which quietens him down.

"Look at that," Riley says. "She has complete control over him."

"That's because he doesn't like it when I'm in a bad mood with him," I say glaring at Peeta. He stops laughing completely and gives me a small apologetic smile.

Alex and Riley both end up laughing, teasing Peeta. I don't know how he's put up with it but it's already starting to annoy me. They're about to say something but the baker walks back in again. "I can hear you laughing from downstairs. Leave them alone or you can seat and eat nothing." He threatens before disappearing again. The grin is on my face before I can even I hide it, perhaps I will come to like the baker.

"I saw Delly earlier today, Peeta," Alex says changing the conversation. "She was wondering if you would go round and see her soon. She misses you at school."

An emotion swells up inside me: jealousy. Not because I think Peeta has feelings for her, but because he still has his best friend. I look at my plate in front of me wondering if Gale is eating the game I brought his family this morning.

"I might go round tomorrow after work then," Peeta says. Then there is another awkward silence that I must be the cause of. When I'm not here they can't sit round the table like this. And it's strange as Peeta is good when it comes to talking.

"Any luck finding a talent yet?" Riley asks me. I look to Peeta feeling betrayal that he told them. "Peeta didn't tell me, I figured it out when he kept avoiding the question."

"No," I say. "I think Cinna is going to help me come up with something tomorrow." Our new houses come with phones, they sit on the walls abandoned. Now I use it to talk to Cinna or sometimes Effie. It took all of us a while to work out how to use it.

"Your stylist?" Riley says.

"Yeah," The baker comes in then followed by his wife. No one in the room can miss the glare she gives me and Peeta squeezes my hand. I clench my teeth; I will get through this. They have trays in their hands and they set them on the table, revealing the food underneath.

"Squirrel and rabbit? That's what we have every night," says Alex. I stare at the squirrel and rabbit meat on the tray, knowing those are the ones I shot down this morning.

"Well, they're specially brought from our guest," the baker says smiling at me. "It seemed rude not to cook them and it's a meal she is familiar with."

"And the cheese buns are her favorite as Peeta tells us," the bakers wife grumbles.

"That's where all the cheese buns keep disappearing too," says Riley laughing. "I've been baking more than they've been selling."

I blush. "You always take cinnamon rolls to Mara." Peeta says and I'm assuming that's Riley's girlfriend.

"All right," says the baker. "You all have special bread you nick for your loved ones. Shall we just eat?"

Everyone helps themselves to the food in front of us. I take a few bits of rabbit, squirrel, some of the greens and a cheese bun. There's normal rolls as well, but I can't bring myself to pick one up without thinking about the bread Peeta gave me and the red welt his mother gave him.

"Katniss," she says my name sourly. "It's been a while since we last spoke."

I grip my fork, wondering why she has to be so spiteful. But I'd rather it was aimed at me than Peeta, I don't know what I'd do if she says or does anything to him in front of me. Tension goes across the table, waiting for me to talk. I know, for Peeta, I'm going to have to stay polite to her. "It has." I say.

"When was it, again? When you was eleven?" she says and I focus on eating my dinner, listening to her at the same time. "You was a thin sickly thing then and now look at you."

Peeta tenses next to me, but I take his hand under the table again, squeezing it. I don't understand why she is doing this, how Peeta could possibly be her son. "A lot has changed since then," I say keeping my voice normal.

"Yes, what's it like to go from living in the Seam to the victor's village?" she asks.

I look up to her cold blue eyes and smile. "It's been great, thank you."

"Peeta was showing me some of his paintings the other day," the baker says trying to change the subject. I'm so thankful for him. Peeta is defiantly his son. "They're extremely good. He's seemed to have mastered painting you."

"The one in the flowers, what was her name again?" His mother questions and I know she is taunting me. She knows just how much this will get to me and I don't know why anyone would be that horrible. I can tell everyone around the table is just as shocked. I've noticed how Riley and Alex have kept silent. Are they really afraid of her? Peeta's jaw is tense, his hand squeezing mine.

"Her name was Rue," I say but my voice has turned cold. My hands are shaking gripping Peeta's hand for support and the fork in my other hand.

"Rue," she tests her name out. "Primrose... all names of flowers."

"Mom," Peeta warns quietly.

"How have you managed to survive with all these weak people holding you back?" she questions. I know she isn't just talking about Rue, she's talking about Prim and Peeta as well. Her own son. The fork falls out of my hand and I know everyone is waiting for my reaction.

"Those _weak _people are the reason I've survived." I say.

"Do you want to go?" Peeta whispers to me. What makes me stay is the look in his eyes, how he fears his mother and I don't want to stay away anymore. If I can bring his mother's anger towards me instead of him then I will. Even away from the rest of his family.

"No, the food is too nice to go." I say and then kiss his cheek. If I go then she has won, so I'm not leaving until I'm told to go.

"David, I was out in the woods the other day and this bear turned up," I say catching everyone's attention. I won't let his mother get to me. "Before it saw me, I climbed the tree reaching the high branches."

"Another bear?" Peeta says laughing, remembering the story I told him at lunch time during training.

"What does he mean another bear?" Riley asks seeming impressed.

"Well, there was this time where I was chased by a bear," I say watching there expressions go from impressed to shocked.

"A bear?" the baker is leaning in now, listening. My eyes flicker to the baker's wife, finding her quiet and glaring at me. Good.

"Yes. Well, you see there was this beehive that was empty a part from the honey," I say. "I had already claimed the hive first, but of course the bear turned up wanting it."

"Did you get it?" Alex asked.

"Of course I did," I smile. "But the bear wanted to challenge me for it. I was already half way up the tree, already reaching for the honeycomb before the bear had even thought about climbing."

"How did you get away?" the baker asks.

"The honeycomb was mine," I said. "But then the bear had started to climb. I knew I was in trouble and Gale wasn't there to help me. The next branch wasn't much of a distance away, but I was going to be risking it."

"You jumped?" Riley says in disbelief.

"I waited until the bear was near my branch. The moment he reached the branch below me, I jumped landing on the branch on the next tree. I wobbled, holding onto the trunk, safe," I say watching their amazed expressions. My grip on Peeta's hand lessened and he put his arm around the back of my chair instead. "I wasn't safe, yet. The bear was challenging me on who could climb down the tree the fastest."

"We've seen you climb trees. You beat the bear, didn't you?" Riley asks. For a second I imagine them sitting around watching us in the games on their small TV or in the square. Watching as Peeta and I l climbed the trees, him falling, us separated… I take a second to push the memory away.

"I did," I say earning cheers from the brothers. "The bear had chased me for a while, but he soon gave up when he knew I was near the fence."

The dinner after that seemed to go better. I found it easier to talk to Peeta's brothers as they asked me questions about hunting. Wanted me to tell more stories. Their mother hadn't spoken again. And when the baker suggested about doing the dishes, I insisted to help.

He washed the dishes while I wiped them down. "I am sorry about my wife."

"She doesn't like me," I say stating the obvious.

He smiles, "I think she does, she just doesn't want to admit it."

"Why?" I ask.

"You know what Peeta told you in the arena, the moment he started loving you." The baker says and then I realise. It isn't just because I'm from the Seam or because I'm the girl who her son is in love with. No, it's because I'm the daughter of the women the baker wanted to marry.

"Oh," I say as he nods. "I guess that's a fair reason then."

"But it doesn't give her the right to say the things she says," he shakes his head. "I don't know what my boy has ever done to make her hate him so much."

"Is it just him? Or all of them?" I ask. It isn't my place to pry but he seems to want someone to talk about it to.

"It's mainly Peeta. The others do get a fair share of it," He says. But there is a deeper sadness behind his eyes and I wonder if the baker is a victim as well. Perhaps that is why he can never defend his sons because he is scared of the women himself.

We finish of the dishes in silence. It's strange to be in the bakery, to be in the kitchen where they bake the bread and cook their meals. This doesn't feel like home, but I have come to like the baker – even Peeta's brothers. Once they get past the teasing of Peeta, they're just as lovely as him but not as comfortable at speaking as he is. But even Peeta seems uncomfortable around here.

There is a lout clutter upstairs, making the both of us jump. We exchange a nervous look before heading upstairs. A lump has risen in my throat as I hear their mother screaming. "Look what you did! You're useless boy! A coward."

I push through the door, finding Peeta picking up the pieces of a vase that he must have knocked over. He's still getting used to his leg, he probably tripped and knocked it over. She's standing over him, calling him all sorts of things. I run over, blocking Peeta's view from her with my body. Riley and Alex stand in the corner.

"Don't you dare say another thing to him," I say quietly.

She glares at me, "You've out stayed your welcome. I think its best you leave."

"She is welcome to stay as long as she likes," the baker says standing next to me. I bend down, helping Peeta up and leaving the shards of the vase on the floor. But I keep him behind me, protecting him from his own mother.

"I am not having this Seam girl in my house anymore," she growls. "And you disgraceful thing of a son aren't going to be seeing her anymore. You're a coward compared to her."

"Coward? Did you not just watch your son in the games? Watching him sacrifice his own life for me," I snap at her. "That is no disgrace or cowardness. That is bravery."

"Kat, let's just go," Peeta says behind me and I silence him by squeezing his hand.

"The only disgrace here is you," I tell his mother and then I turn to the baker. "Thank you for the dinner."

"You're very welcome, Katniss," he says. "You're welcome to come back anytime."

Riley and Alex are watching me in shock, "It was nice to meet the two of you."

"Same to you," Alex says.

Peeta says goodbye to his father and brothers. Then he is taking my hand and we're leaving. I knew the dinner wasn't a good idea that something would happen between me and his mother. But I got to meet his brothers and see the baker. I let go of his hand, walking in front of him for a few minutes as I calm down.

"Kat…" Peeta says trying to catch up with me. "Can we talk about this now?"

"Talk about what? How your mother doesn't like me or how she treats you?" I snap. Closing my eyes, I turn away wanting the anger to go away.

He cups my chin, turning my face around to him. I open my eyes finding his glazed blue eyes, he's sad and worried about me. "Please don't look at me like I'm wounded. She didn't hit me."

"She didn't have to hit you to hurt you," I say.

"I've had worse, Kat," he says making me flinch. "Are you all right?"

"You're asking if I'm all right?" I say in disbelief.

"Yes," he says. "Are you?"

"I'm mad," I think of all the things she said to both us, all her words hitting me now that we've left. "How do you put up with her?"

"You just learn to live with it," he says. "We know when it comes."

I rest my head on his shoulder and let him wrap his arms around me. "You don't believe the words, do you?"

He doesn't say anything for a while. "I am a coward compared to you."

"You're not!" I snap angry at him.

"I'm not ashamed of it. I had you to protect me," he says. "But all I managed to do was get injured."

I look up at him, cupping his cheeks. "You're not a coward because you got hurt. Are you forgetting that you throw yourself at Cato for me?" It hurts saying it, especially twice in one night, but I don't want him thinking about himself like this.

"Suppose you're right," he says sighing.

"I am right." I tell him.

He laughs. "You're right, Kat."

I smile, pulling him down towards me for a kiss. His arms wrap around my waist, picking me up so I'm a few inches above the ground. I laugh, startled, and kiss him again, wrapping my arms around his neck. He kisses my cheek, putting me back down on the ground. "At least your brothers like me."

"See, I told you," he teases, keeping an arm around my shoulders as we walk. "And I see how you and my father are bonding well."

"I like your father," I say meaning it.

"Well, he certainly likes you," He says. "You've certainly given him a lot of back bone when it comes to mom. He's never stood up to her like that before."

He kisses my cheek again. I look up to see Gale in front of us walking with other men from the mines. All the air leaves me as I see him for the first time in over a month. Peeta's arm tightens around me. His friends exchange looks with each other, they all must know that Gale was my friend.

"Gale?" I say hoping that he will talk to me.

He stops for a moment, looking at me and then Peeta's arm. I watch as he shakes his head, turning around and walking towards his home. His friends follow behind him, giving me apologetic smiles. I'm left staring hopelessly after Gale.

"Kat, he just needs some time to accept," Peeta says taking my hand.

"It doesn't matter," I say walking in the opposite direction from him, towards our homes. He's had enough time to accept, enough time to even talk to me but he doesn't. Peeta doesn't talk about it anymore, but I look back catching Gale's eye for a second.

**(a/n): I do feel bad for Gale but he should have told her sooner. I hoped you liked the chapter! It's sad knowing Peeta's family's names. Did you all enjoy the Katniss and Peeta's mother? I think she'll be back in future chapters... Next chapter will be on Saturday. The last one before Catching Fire.**

**Teaser: I've written the first few chapters of Catching Fire and I'm honestly impressed with how things are turning out. Especially when Snow comes to visit. **


	20. checkers

**(a/n): Hope you all enjoyed the last chapter! Here is the last one before Catching Fire starts! I didn't know what to call this chapter, so it was pretty random, but still to do with the chapter.**

Chapter 20:Checkers

Haymitch is thrashing around, angry that there is no liquor. Ripper hasn't been able to get any for a few days and Haymtich had finished the last lot this morning. He's sober right now and Peeta has gone to do his shift at the bakery, leaving me to babysit Haymitch.

"Can we talk?" I say trying to keep my temper cool around him, but it isn't going well. He growls at me once more and then sits on a chair, holding a bottle upside down in hope that liquor would appear.

"About what, sweetheart?" he questions.

"The berries," I say getting his attention. "Something has changed around here, Haymitch."

He rests his elbows on his knees, thinking. "I've noticed that as well," he rubs a hand over his eyes. "It's whenever you're around. Or when the two of you are together."

"What does it mean?" I ask needing to know how to contain it before President Snow shows up or anyone from the Capitol.

It's a long time before Haymitch answers. "I don't think we handled the berries in the right way," he says. "You didn't see what you and Peeta's love did to the audience. Both Capitol and District."

"We didn't make it worse, did we?" I ask afraid that we're all just sat around waiting for our punishments to come. I can't let anything happen to Peeta or my family.

"If we did, I think you and Peeta would already be dead or arrested," says Haymitch not unkindly. My breakfast threatens to make an appearance. "I don't think there is much we can do until the victory tour."

Prim comes over then bringing lunch for Haymitch and I, she comes in whistling happy. Rue's four-note song starts playing in my head, I close my eyes wanting the song to leave. The conversation drops, Haymitch's anger disappears at Prim's presence. Maybe I should bring her around more often. She sits down and eats lunch with us.

"Katniss, Cinna phoned earlier wanting to tell you that your designs are looking great so far." Prim tells me.

Over the phone, Cinna and I had realised that there would be no talent that I would be good at, so he offered to design some clothes for me, saying that my talent is fashion designing. We both laughed over it, but in the end that was the best decision. "That doesn't surprise me," I say.

"Let's hope it doesn't set the house on fire," Prim says with a giggle.

"That would look good on camera," grumbles Haymitch.

"Girl on fire living in a house on fire," says Prim and she and Haymitch laugh.

The two of them sit talking and eating together. After lunch Prim pulls out Haymitch's checkers board that has gone dusty from years of no play. I see him smile as she suggests playing with him. Haymitch can't say no to Prim – no one can. She has that effect on everyone.

"Shall I go get some sweets and cakes from the bakery?" I ask them, knowing they're too busy playing their game. And Haymitch doesn't need me to babysit him while Prim is here. Let Prim keep Haymitch entertained and distracted from the lack of liquor.

"You don't have to lie, sweetheart," Haymitch says. "Go see the boy. We're not going anywhere."

Prim smiles. "Go."

The weather is turning colder outside, the victory tours are getting closer. In a month's time we will be visiting all the District's, seeing the families of the dead tributes. We've only just started to settle down to be welcomed back by what we're trying to forget. I ignore the looks people give me, walking through the square pretending I am the Katniss before the games. But I'm not, I'm going to the bakers to see Peeta.

I did want to see Peeta, but I also wanted to get away for a while. Thinking about what Haymitch told me and how we'll have to wait till the victory tours to decide what happens. I still don't understand how our love can change people. We both declared each others feelings for the others survival and then spent what little time we could together, both trying to save the other. I pulled out the berries to save both of us, to make sure Peeta goes home completely. If I had just ate the berries and died he would have come home destroyed, I wouldn't have saved anything. But even now I haven't saved him, we could all be arrested and killed at any moment.

The bell of the bakery goes as I open the door, welcomed by the smell of cinnamon and something sweet. Peeta looks up, smiling at me and Riley behind him waves. "What are you doing here?" Peeta asks.

"Prim and Haymitch are too busy playing checkers to talk to me, so I came to get cakes," I say.

Peeta frowns. "Is he still angry about the liquor?" he asks.

"Liquor?" Riley questions. "Has he not got any?"

"No," I say. "Prim is keeping him distracted."

I lean on the counter, looking at all the different cakes under the glass. The bright colours of frosting reminding me of the things I used to not be able to afford. The different rolls and breads reminding me of that day Peeta throw me those burnt rolls. "Maybe we should just use Prim to keep him contained until we get more liquor," Peeta says laughing.

"She's all we got at the moment," I say. Peeta leans down on the counter opposite me, giving me a sweet kiss. Riley groans, but keeps quiet when I glare at him.

"Are you sure you just came for the cakes?" Peeta whispers grinning.

I blush causing him to kiss both patches of redness. "Yes, you know you do bake some good cakes," I tell him.

"You're such a bad liar, Kat," He grins kissing me again.

"This is a bakery," Riley reminds us. "And Peeta that is not how we treat our customers."

Peeta cups my cheeks, kissing me once more and then he is laughing. "What?" I ask him.

"You have flour on your cheeks," he says throwing me a cloth that I use to wash the flour of.

I glare at him as he gets out a box, choosing cakes he knows Prim, Haymitch and I like. "Thanks," I grumble. "Where's your dad and Alex?" I ask. I don't care where their mother is, they both know how I don't like her. Ever since the dinner we've both stayed away from each other. But I know they've all started to stand up to her more.

"Dads out ordering more supplies and Alex is just out I guess," Riley says taking a new load of cakes out of the oven. I can't help but peek over to the cakes that Peeta has been decorating, seeing those yellow flowers on them again. One even looks like a dandelion. Peeta picks a few of them up, putting them in the box.

"All those years watching me paint them," he says handing me the box. "And now you have an unlimited supply of them."

"You're going to make me fat," I say. "Cinna won't be happy or Effie."

"But you'll know that I love you no matter if you're fat or thin," he says giving me one more kiss.

Riley groans and I laugh before taking my money bag of my belt to pay for the cakes. "What are you doing?" Peeta asks.

"Paying for the cakes," I say. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Kat," he says crossing his arms so he doesn't take the money.

"Fine, Riley can just take it," I say.

"No can do, Katniss," Riley says crossing his arms as well. "You're a part of this family now and we don't take money from family."

I can't help but think how a family means kids. How Riley must think that one day me and Peeta will get married and bless him with nieces and nephews. I drop my hand, putting the money bag back on my belt. "But I don't like owning people."

"You give us enough," says Riley. "We've gone years eating your squirrels."

"Fine," I groan as they both smile. I'll just have to give David an extra haul tomorrow. "See you later then."

Peeta gives me one more smile and then I close the bakery door behind me. I make sure I go to the sweet shop to get some mints and a few other sweets for Prim. When I get back to them I find that they're on their second game of checkers.

"You were right, Prim," Haymitch says. "She did get us cakes as well. I thought she would have forgotten about us around him."

"I got you sweets as well," I say bringing them out of my bag. "But I think I'll just let Prim have them."

"And who exactly kept you and Peeta alive in the arena?" He asks causing me to glare at him. It may be starting to get easier to talk about some things in the games, but about living and dying is still hard to even think about.

"Just eat the damn sweets," I say leaving them on the table. "Make sure you save a cake for Peeta."

"And what if we eat all the cakes?" Haymitch questions.

"I'll make sure Ripper doesn't get you anymore liquor," I tell Haymitch.

Prim laughs. "Leave a cake on the side for Peeta. You must know his favourite." And I do, of course. So, I take Peeta's cake leaving it in Haymitch's kitchen for him when he finishes his shift.

The three of us sit around, apparently it's hard to beat Haymitch at checkers so Prim and I both team up against him, Haymitch claiming that's not fair. The cakes are eaten and then we start on the sweets. It's the closet I've been with Haymitch since knowing him. There is this different side to him when he's sober, I hadn't got to know him properly before the games and we all know this is only temporary. When the liquor is back, he'll go back to his drunk state. Or even before that when he can't go any longer without any.

Peeta walks through the door. "Don't talk. We're close to winning," I say. "There is a cake for you in the kitchen."

He doesn't say anything and goes to the kitchen coming back with a plate, the cake on it. Prim makes her final move, taking his last counter and then we're both cheering. "And you said we wouldn't win," I say grinning.

"Maybe I let you win," Haymitch says. "But that was a good game."

"This is something you don't see every day," Peeta says. "I'm shocked the two of you even had a civilized game."

"Trust me, it wasn't civilized," says Prim popping another mint in her mouth. "I have to get back to mom. I'm helping her with a patient."

I'm surprised when Prim gives Haymitch a hug, she's given loads to Peeta before, but never to Haymitch. I hand her the rest of the sweets to take back with her and she does, leaving the three of us. Pride travels through my veins. How my little sister is now helping my mother with patients, training to follow in her footsteps.

"She's something special," Haymitch says. "You know, she was telling me how she was never mad or angry at you for lying to her. She had even made a promise to you that when Peeta came home she would look after him, for you."

I imagine Peeta in Haymitch's place with Prim coming round every day to make sure he's eaten and drank. How the thought breaks my heart but manages to make me smile. My sister. I'm not even ashamed when the tears start to fall, I've always been proud that she is my sister, but I couldn't be more proud.

Peeta crouches down next to me, resting his hand on top of mine. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I say wiping the tears from my eyes. "I just don't know what I did to deserve a sister like Prim." Even someone like Peeta. How is a horrid person like me surrounded by good hearted people?

"You kept her alive when no one else could," says Peeta. "You even sacrificed yourself to take her place in the games. Of course you deserve someone like her."

"The boy is right," Haymitch says. "Now, both of you get going before you get all loved up around me."

I narrow my eyes at him. "Are you going to be all right on your own?"

"I've managed to survive without your help before," he says. "I'm sure I can cope again."

We both leave after that, deciding to check on Haymitch again tomorrow. Peeta asks if I want to come into his and I don't reject. He sits on his sofa, pulling me down next to him. My feet create a bridge of his lap as I lean back against the arm of the chair, watching him.

He leans towards me kissing the top of my nose. "You know, I think Haymitch is growing on you. I told you he liked you."

"He's just having to put up with me," I say entwining my fingers with his. "Being the good neighbor and all."

"Well he's never really had neighbors before," Peeta points out.

"It must have been so lonely living around here on your own," I say and I'm surprised that I feel bad for Haymitch.

I can see Peeta feels bad as well. "Well, he's not lonely anymore."

"I think by the end of the tour he's going to be fed up with our romance," I say grinning.

"Well that's his problem then, isn't it?" Peeta says leaning in for a kiss. The amount of kisses we share between each other and each one still leaves me gasping for more. He hovers above me. "You know, I think the tours are going to be different than previous years." His breath is hot on my face, sending shivers through my body. I breathe in his scent, welcoming the cinnamon and faint smell of roses.

"Well this year there is two winners instead of one," I tell him trying not to show the shakiness of my voice due to his closeness. Only Peeta manages to make me weak and vulnerable.

He pauses studying my face for a while as I blush. "I know that, but they've never had victors in love."

"No," I say. "But other victors have fallen in love after the games." That's usually in the District's where winners are common, mainly the careers, some of them end up getting together and married. You see them standing together as mentors. How their children end up being in the future games.

"Now that I've had these couple of months with you, no cameras around to record us or no audience to watch us, I don't want anyone to see our love again," he says. "I just want you for myself now."

"We only have the victory tours," I tell him. But we both know we will be dragged back to the Capitol every year to mentor two other tributes. Our story will always be shown to the audience, the Capitol will always be wanting to know about our love. And that's what terrifies me the most that I won't have a choice and be forced into having children with Peeta. If we lived somewhere else, in another world, I would want to marry him and raise his children, but we live here where the games take away our children. And the odds will never be in their favor.

"I know what you're thinking about," he says resting his forehead against mine. "I want children with you, but now after the games, I can't put them through that."

"But we don't need children, right?" I ask needing to know.

"Right," he says sadly. "All I need is you."

"That's all I need as well," I say. He closes his eyes, allowing me to play with the ends of his hair and run my hands through the softness of it. My fingers trace his face, going over the outline of his lips, cheekbones and down his nose. I can't help but think about what Haymitch told me, how if Snow was coming to kill us then he would have done by now. He's still right here in front of me, his breath warm against my face and his heart beating under my fingers when I touch his chest.

"What's wrong?" he whispers opening his eyes.

"Nothing," I say meeting his eyes.

He cups my cheek again. "You don't have to shut away from me."

"I'm not," I say. "I'm just glad you're here with me."

"I'm not going anywhere. Not until you tell me to go," he says burying his head in my neck.

"I never want you to go," I whisper in his ear and feel him kiss my neck. I close my eyes, holding him close to me as I shut away all the fear of losing him and him leaving me.

We must have dozed off as a knock on the door wakes us up. I move my legs, freeing Peeta to get up. Outside his window the sky has turned dark, we've slept longer than we thought. I hear my sister's voice and then there is a long silence.

"Peeta?" I call.

"Yeah," he says shutting the door. "I was just making sure your sister got home safely."

"Oh," I say. "Thank you."

He smiles. "Prim dropped these off for you," he says. "I think she and your mom assumed you was staying the night."

I blush slightly. "I guess I am now."

He smiles. "I'll make us some dinner then and you can…"

"Are you lost for words, Peeta?" I tease grinning. I've come over during the night when I have a bad nightmare, but never like this. Something nervous flutters inside me, as well.

"No," he says blushing. "You can do whatever you want."

I smile. "OK,"

He disappears, going to make us some dinner. I open my father's hunting bag, finding pyjamas, clothes for tomorrow and essentials. She knows what Sunday's mean for me as well, knowing that I will defiantly be going hunting in hope that Gale will turn up. I can't help but smile at her thoughtfulness.

I go to help Peeta with the dinner, helping him cut up the vegetables. I'm not a great cook, cutting up is fine but cooking is a no go. Something is always cooking around Peeta's, a pie or cake. It seems he's either baking or painting when he's on his own. I help as best as I can and he gives me small things to do, biting his lip to hide his amused expression, but I see it.

Then we sit at the table eating dinner just the two of us. We've had our picnic before and Peeta comes over a lot to eat with me and my family, but this is new. Nothing like the dinners we had together in the games. He tells me about how Riley dropped a bag of flour on his foot just after I left and I smile trying to imagine it. My stomach twists, threatening to bring up the food after, and thinking about how this is what my parents did. Having dinner together.

"I think my talent is coming on," I tell Peeta after dinner, we're both laying on the sofa together. "Prim said that Cinna rang and said that my designs are looking great."

Peeta laughs. "You do realise you're going to have to talk about them as well."

I frown. "I know," I say. "I guess Cinna will just tell me what is what."

"Katniss Everdeen talking about her latest fashion designs," Peeta says with another laugh.

I slap his chest lightly. "I can talk about clothes."

"Really?" he says.

"Yeah," I say. "How hard is it?"

"You're lying again," I look up at him to find him grinning.

I sit up facing him. "Am not."

"You can't lie to me, Kat." He teases.

He watches as I glare at him, the smile never leaving his face. I look away, not wanting to admit that I was lying. Clothes aren't my thing, not even girl talk. He chuckles, kissing the top of my head.

"Do you want a shower or a bath before bed?" he asks shyly making me blush.

"OK," I say biting my lip.

"I'll stay down here," he reassures me. "Just shout down when you're done."

"OK," I say again getting up. I'm still blushing and Peeta pulls me down for a kiss before letting me go. I pick up my hunting bag, taking it upstairs with me. When I'm at the top of the stairs, I let out a few shaky breaths. The conversation making me nervous.

His bathroom is just like my bathroom and somehow that makes me blush even more. Can I get any redder? I turn on the shower, nervous about stripping down and getting in. Eventually I do. He even has shampoo that smells like roses that makes me think about his interview with Caesar, when we both found out about the others feelings. That's why he always smells like roses. Then the cinnamon is from the bakery.

Luckily, Prim has even packed my brush. So after my shower, I am able to brush my hair, towel drying it a bit before braiding it. The pyjamas are long trousers and a short sleeved shirt that are green like the woods around District twelve. Green like the woods in the arena.

When I am done, I call down for Peeta and sit on his bed waiting for him, tucking my knees up to my chest. He comes in smiling at me, a new blush spreading on his cheeks. "What?" I ask.

"Nothing," he says shaking his head. "I'm just going to have a quick shower."

The room starts to get cold and I move under his covers, keeping warm while I wait for him. I listen to the shower, trying not to think about him in it. From his window you can see my house and the moon illuminating behind it. I wonder if Prim is asleep, Buttercup curled up beside her. On his bedside table is the picture of me and him that Effie gave us, the one of us stepping of the train with our hands entwined and smiles at seeing our family. Out of all the pictures, I'm glad it's this one.

The door opens and Peeta comes in. A new blush fills my cheeks at the sight of his wet hair, cheeks flushed from the heat and his skin is shining due to his wetness. He's wearing grey bottoms with a black shirt. The wet drops that drip from his hair make me think about the last time I saw him in the games before we were separated, when Cato cut his leg.

"You all right?" he asks getting in next to me.

"Fine," I say.

He grins, pulling me down on top of him. "I could get used to this," he says tucking damp strands of hair behind my ears.

"But I stay almost every night," I tell him breathing in the fresh smell of roses.

"Yes," he says. "But you've always came when you couldn't sleep."

"True," I say.

"It was nice having you here all evening," he says squeezing me gently. "I even got to see how good of a cook you are."

I snort. "And now you'll never want me to cook again."

"You wasn't that bad," he laughs. "You were great at cutting the vegetables up."

"Yes as that takes a lot of skills to do," I say.

"Well, we wouldn't have had that dinner if it wasn't for you bringing me the rabbit or wild turkey," says Peeta. He leans down to give me a quick sweet kiss. "Now go to sleep."

I kiss his cheek before listening to the calm beat of his heart as he falls asleep. The rhythm of it closing my eyes and leaving me to a peaceful sleep. With Peeta there are no nightmares, knowing that he is here with me keeps them locked up.

The next morning, I wake up before Peeta, waking him up with a long kiss. He opens his eyes, rolling me over so he is on top of me, surprising me with an even deeper kiss. Then I have some breakfast, before dropping my belongings at home and repacking my hunting bag for my trip out to the woods.

Then I remember Haymitch and the lack of liquor. I cringe at what awaits me behind the door and Prim even offers to come with me. Peeta is going to see Delly and then he'll come back in a bit to check on Haymitch as well. Inside there is already smashing of glasses, sounds of a growling animal that has to be Haymitch and a loud crash.

"Haymitch!" I shout getting his attention as we walk into the kitchen. Prim is standing close to me.

"Have you got any?" Haymitch asks walking over. I push Prim behind me, she shouldn't have come. "It's all gone."

"No," I say. "Ripper said it will be a few days."

"I need it now!" Haymitch shouts throwing another bottle at the wall and making Prim jump.

"You're scaring Prim!" I shout back.

Haymitch pauses for a second looking at Prim. "Then leave." He snarls.

"Fine!" I snap. "I won't bother helping you next time!"

Haymitch doesn't answer, he's shouting again as he picks up another bottle, finding it empty like the others. It's thrown against the wall. We leave. One thing I am certain of, is that from now on I will start saving bottles of liquor at my house, never letting this happen again.

Prim goes back inside to help mother with her patients and I go hunting. I'm hoping today is the day Gale will show up, but really, deep down I know he isn't. I do love him, but not in the way he wants me to. I'm sure of that. He needs time, I know that, but he's had months and he won't even talk to me. How can we work it out if he doesn't talk?

When I reach the fence all I can hear is the whip of the wind, the fence is completely silent. I slip through the hole, emerging myself into the woods. The mockingjays surrounding me are carrying a tune across the trees. I sing a new tune for them, listening to their silence and then them singing the notes to each other.

I go to the hollow tree and take my bow, finding that Gale's is still there. He hasn't left for the woods yet. He'll see mine is missing and I hope he will know I'm at the hills waiting for him.

A fog covers the hills, a sign that winter is approaching, perhaps snow as well. Cinna's scarf and gloves keep me from freezing. I remember when I didn't have these clothes to keep me warm in the winter, how we only had fires at home to keep us warm. The morning slowly goes by, the only company I have is the mockingjays and curious animals that appear.

I eat rabbit from yesterday and pick on some of the mints Prim left behind. When they go, I find some mint leaves and suck on them. There's too many memories of the games out here, but I can't stay away from the woods. I won't allow the games to take the woods away from me.

Being alone in the woods is hard when you have nothing to distract your mind, the memories come back one by one or all at once. I close my eyes, only letting the sound of the mockingjays in. When I open them I'm startled, my bow loaded and aimed at the target. Gale.

He's standing at the edge of the woods, watching me and my father's bow is on his back. I whisper his name, knowing he won't hear. I let the arrow sink to the ground. Picking up my bag and putting the arrow back into the quiver, I walk over to him slowly. Anticipation, nerves and excitement that he is here and wants to hunt.

I pause a few meters away. "You came," I say.

"I did," he says not looking at me. "I saw some wild turkeys on the way here. Crossed right in front of me like I wasn't even there."

"How rude of them," I say.

"That's what happens when you spend six days a week working in the mines, stupid birds start to think they own these woods," he says. "Shall we hunt?"

I nod my head. He leads the way, still not being able to look at me. The woods don't seem as lonely now with Gale, a slight pressure has been lifted off my shoulders, but not completely. We check all his snares, catching what game we can find and search for whatever we can gather. Even going back for the wild turkeys.

Then after we even go round trading with our usual customers. Watching as they all seem shocked to see us together again, smiling happy for us. Neither of us talk. At the bakery, the baker trades with us and I am thankful that he doesn't talk to me as David, only the baker before the games. He understands that today is for me and Gale. Understands how Gale must feel, seeing that I have created a relationship with Peeta's father. I do make sure I give him an extra rabbit for the cakes, though.

After we go to the Hob, where Greasy Sae makes us soup in celebration and seems to get us laughing again. Ripper and Darius join us. For a moment everything seems just like it did before the games, but there is still an awkwardness between Gale and I. Greasy Sae gives me a wink as we leave.

"I'll see you next Sunday," Gale says when we leave to go separate ways. Separate lives. Separate homes.

"Yeah," I say and then before I can stop myself I put Cinna's gloves in his hands. "A present from me to say thank you for everything you've done." His jaw tightens and I know what he is thinking, how the gloves are from the Capitol. "They're Cinna's."

"I don't want them," he says.

"Please," I say. "Just take them for me."

He does. It seems he takes them more out of pity than anything. I watch as he leaves, seeing him put the gloves on and I wonder whether our friendship can go back to where it was before the games. But before he leaves completely, he walks back, cupping my cheeks and leans down to kiss me. I shove him away, shocked.

"Damn you, Gale!" I shout, taking a step back away from him.

"I had to do that at least once," he whispers.

"Why?" I ask. "Can't you just be happy for me? I'm sorry that I don't feel the same way but you've known for years how I felt for Peeta. You could have told me any time between then and before the games, but you didn't!"

"How could I tell you when you were always thinking about him?" he asks getting mad, taking the gloves of throwing them back at me. "I had hoped that if I gave you time, you would have gotten over your feelings. Then the games happened and I saw how much he loved you. I knew I would have no competition."

"I'm sorry," I say clutching the gloves to my chest.

He looks away. "Do you know what the worst part was?" he asks. I don't respond. "It wasn't just having to watch you in love with him. It was how you had forgotten about me when you was with him."

"I didn't –" I begin, but he shakes his head, walking away.

"It doesn't matter, Katniss," he says. "I'll see you next Sunday."

I wipe my lips, wanting to remove any trace of his kiss from me and my mind. I'm mad at him for kissing me, but what breaks me is how bad I feel. Gale being forced into watching me be with Peeta, seeing each kiss, each word spoken and each touch. I can't begin to imagine how horrible that was and how it would seem how I had forgotten about him. But how can you bring up your best friend in an arena? Surely he must have known I was thinking about him. I had hoped things could go back to normal for us, and it had started to until he kissed me.

**(a/n): the Gale drama is almost over, surely you can all see how he's coming to turns to accepting Katniss and Peeta. He needs some happiness, but who? I hope you enjoyed all these happyish chapters, now someone is going to turn up in the next chapter creating more problems. I think I might post it tomorrow as I'm really excited about it. Please do review and tell me what you think! **


	21. President Snow's visit

**(a/n): I hope you all enjoyed the last chapter. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. I know who Gale is ending up with and I think its the best choice for him. Also, some of you're asking about Peeta and what happens in Mockingjay still happens (sorry, I know its going to emotional). And someone asked if Katniss and Peeta have sex, I'm not going to answer completely but there could be a possibility. (I'm not into writing smut or anything like that its awkward and embarrassing for me). Enjoy this chapter, it answers a lot your questions.**

**Chapter 21: President Snow's visit.**

My old house looks even run-down than before. The inside abandoned, reflecting the coldness from outside. I watch as the sun only just rises and I wonder whether Peeta is waking up yet, finding me disappeared from his side. I didn't want to leave him, I just needed some time to myself. To accept that the victory tour starts today. The Capitols way of reminding us that the Hunger Games never end.

I've already managed to get a good haul today, thanks to Gale's snares. We haven't spoken or brought up the kiss or our argument since it happened. It didn't count as a kiss, I pulled away, sickened by him. Instead we just hunt together, only occasionally talking. But that's it for us. He's now just my hunting partner. I haven't even told Peeta about it and I don't want to. It makes me feel sick just thinking about it, let alone talking about it.

Buttercup had joined me, enjoy the comfort of this home rather than our new one. I feed him fat from the beaver, letting the two of us enjoy this one last sun rise before the cameras come. But soon we have to go. I scoop Buttercup up, letting him down outside as he growls at me and runs of home to Prim.

My first place to go is Hazelle's, to give her todays haul. She opens the door for me, tea already made. I see she's already starting on her washing, working her fingers to the bone. She nor Gale will take any money from me. And they're both determined that none of the younger kids will sign up for tesserae.

"He's going to make a nice stew," she says taking the beaver from me.

"Good pelt, too," I say wrapping my cold fingers around the warm cup of herb tea. "You know, when I get back from the tour, I was thinking I might take Rory out with me sometimes. After school. Teach him to shoot."

Hazelle nods. "That'd be good. Gale means to, but he's only got his Sunday's."

Perhaps having Rory out with us on Sunday's could lighten the mood between us. I gulp down my tea, even though it's still hot. "I better get going. Make myself presentable for the cameras."

Hazelle hugs me. "Enjoy the food."

"Absolutely," I say.

Before the Hob, I make my stop at the bakery, deciding to give the baker my last rabbit and squirrel as my mother and Prim can buy butchers meat while I'm away. He opens the door, grinning at me.

"One last hunt before you leave?" he says taking the squirrel and rabbit from me.

"Yes," I say. "Are you coming to the train station?"

"To see you and Peeta of, yes," he says grinning. "Riley and Alex will be coming as well."

"Well, I'll see you all soon then," I say.

The baker's wife hardly makes an appearance now, I've heard from Peeta that his brothers and the baker have stood up to her, including Peeta. Apparently my standing up for Peeta had encouraged them to do the same. I only see her in the bakery now. I'm glad, happy, that they've finally stood up for themselves. Not allowing her to hit them physically or emotionally anymore.

Then I'm making my last stop to the Hob before the tour. People still turn to look at me when I enter, murmuring and whispering, but it's easy to ignore them now since I'm used to it. First, I buy more liquor for Haymitch. Both Peeta and I had decided to make sure we had a supply of liquor for Haymitch as we both never want to see him go through the withdrawals again. The first day was fine, but the second, even Prim was afraid of him.

Cray frowns when he sees the bottles I carry. "That stuff is too strong for you, girl," he says. Next to Haymitch, Cray is the next heavy drinker.

"Aw, my mother uses it in medicine," I say.

He slaps down a coin on the table for a bottle. "Well, it'd kill just about anything."

Greasy Sae has another new dish for me to try when I sit up by her counter. Some kind of gourd and bean mixture. Darius comes and buys a bowl while I'm eating. "Aren't you supposed to be on a train?" he asks me.

"They're collecting me at noon," I answer.

"Shouldn't you look better?" I smile at his teasing. "Maybe a ribbon in your hair or something."

"Don't worry. By the time they get through with me I'll be unrecognizable," I say.

"Good," he says. "Let's show a little district pride for a change, Miss Everdeen. Hm?" he shakes his head in mock disapproval and then joins his friends.

"I'll want that bowl back," shouts Greasy Sae after him but she is laughing. "Gale going to see you off?" she asks me.

"No, he wasn't on the list," I say. "I saw him Sunday, though."

"Think he'd have made the list. Him being your cousin and all," she says wryly. It annoyed me how they had to make up the lie just because it conflicted with mine and Peeta's relationship during the games. How it forced Gale out of the way, making it look like I had forgotten about him.

"I just can't wait for the whole thing to be over," I whisper.

"I know," says Greasy Sae. "At least you have your boy with you. The two of you will get through it to the end. Better not be late."

Outside a light snow has begun to fall on my way back to the victor's village. I enter Haymitch's house, preparing myself for the foul smell. Bones, glass and things I can't imagine crunch under my feet. I find Haymitch at his kitchen table, his face in a puddle of liquor. "Get up!" I say shaking his shoulder.

He carries on snoring, then I push him harder. "Get up, Haymitch! It's tour day!" I force open the window, inhaling the fresh clean air. The coals are still hot, so I light up a fire, filling up the coffee pot with water.

Haymitch won't wake up. I fill a basin with icy cold water and dump it on his head as I spring out of the way. Haymitch always sleeps with a knife and as an animal cry escapes him, he swipes the air finding the person who disturbed him. He slowly comes to his senses, noticing me on the windowsill.

"What are you doing here?" he sputters.

"You told me to wake you an hour before the cameras come," I say.

"What?" he says.

"Your idea," I insist.

He seems to remember. "Why am I all wet?"

"I couldn't shake you awake," I say. "If you wanted me to wake you up nicely then you should have asked Peeta."

"Ask me what?" I look up to where he stands, a smile on his face when he sees me and I know I'm smiling. A loaf of bread is in his hand, the cold has flushed his cheeks. A laugh escapes him. "Should I ask what you're doing on the windowsill?"

My smile gets bigger. "Protecting myself from Haymitch."

"I shouldn't have asked," he says laughing again and then he puts the bread on the table. I watch him curiously as he walks over to me. My arms wrap around his neck, bringing him closer for a kiss. Haymitch groans behind us. "I missed you this morning."

"I didn't want to wake you," I say.

He takes my hand, bringing it up to his lips. "Are you all right?" he asks.

"I'm fine, thanks for asking," Haymitch grumbles.

I glare at Haymitch. "I just needed to be alone for a while," I tell him.

He kisses me again. "Everything will be fine," he says and I wish I could believe him, but how do I know if I've contained the berries or not? "I love you."

"This is my house, you know," Haymitch tell us. But hearing those words from Peeta does reassure me, but not enough for the fear to settle down.

Peeta laughs, kissing my cheek. "Would you like some bread?" he asks me.

"No, thank you, I ate at the Hob," I tell him, watching as he walks back to the table. Haymitch hands him his knife and Peeta cleans it with the liquor. "I better go anyway."

"I'll see you soon," he says giving me a warm sweet smile.

I swing my legs round, hoping out of the window and head across to my house. Footprints of snow are left in my wake. At the front door, I brush the snow of my shoes, knowing my mother has spent day and night making sure everything is perfect for the cameras. She's there at my side when I open the door.

"Don't worry, I'm taking them off here," I say, leaving my shoes on the mat.

My mother lets out an old breathy laugh, taking my game bag from my shoulder. "It's just snow. Did you have a nice walk?"

"Walk?" She knows I've been round Peeta's and that I went to the woods this morning. But then I see the man standing behind her in a freshly groomed suit. He's from the Capitol. Whatever Greasy Sae made is starting to make an appearance. "It was more like skating. It's getting really slippery out there."

"Someone is here to see you," she says and her face is just as pale as the snow outside.

"I thought they weren't due till noon," I say pretending that I don't notice her state. "Did Cinna come early to help me get ready?"

"No, Katniss. It's –" My mother begins.

"This way, please, Miss Everdeen," says the man gesturing me down the hallway.

I give my mother a reassuring smile, "Probably more instructions for the tour." Deep down, I know that it's something more than that. How a part of me knows that it is to do with the berries and what Peeta and I have done to the audience. My mind is racing and I have to clench my fists to stop them from shaking.

"Go right in," says the man.

I twist the golden door knob, opening the door to my mother's study. What hits me first, is the scent of roses and blood. A small white-haired man sits in the chair, where my sister does her homework, a book is open in his hand, which he isn't focusing on as he's observing the red roses Peeta got me yesterday. "Give me a moment." He says causing my heart to thud. The eyes are the snake eyes of President Snow.

This is about the berries. If he's made this journey in person then I am in serious trouble. I'm glad Peeta doesn't have to be here. He's safe eating bread with Haymitch. I don't know what the berries or our love has done, but the unforgivness in his eyes tells me it's bad.

I never pulled out the berries intending it to be an act of rebellion, a way to humiliate the Gamemakers. All I wanted to do was save him. It was an act out of love.

The men outside could be called at any time to kill me. How he makes me look like the intruder in my own home. I don't treat him like a guest, standing motionless, not offering him a chair or something to eat or drink.

"I think we'll make this whole situation a lot simpler by agreeing not to lie to each other," he says. "What do you think?" I watch as he plucks a rose from the bouquet.

My tongue feels dry but I am able to speak in a steady voice, "Yes, I think that would save time."

He smiles, the skin stretched too tight. They have been altered in hope to make him more appealing, it hasn't worked. "My advisors concerned that you would be difficult, but you're not planning on being difficult, are you?"

"No," I answer.

"That's what I told them. Any girl who goes to such lengths to preserve the life of the boy she loves or her own isn't going to be interested in throwing it away with both hands. And then there's her family to think of. Her mother, her sister, and all those… cousins. Let's not forget how she's come to love her extended family, the boy she loves father and brothers. The boy himself." He says hitting me where he knows he has me. Threatening my family and Peeta.

"Please, take a seat," he says gesturing to the chairs in front of him, instructing me in my own home. I sit down on the chair, keeping my face emotionless. The chair is for someone taller than me as my toes only just touch the ground. He sits in the desk chair, Peeta's rose clutched in his gloved hands.

"I have a problem, Miss Everdeen," says President Snow. "A problem that started during those interviews, but began the moment you pulled out those poisonous berries in the arena."

He continues, "If the Head Gamemaker, Seneca Crane, had had any brains, he'd have blown you to dust right then. But he had an unfortunate sentimental streak. So here you are. Can you guess where he is?" he asks.

I nod because it's clear that Seneca Crane has been executed. My eyes focus on the rose pinned to his suit, the white version contrasting with the red rose Peeta gave me in his hand. The smell of roses and blood makes my stomach churn.

"After that, there was nothing left to do but let you and Peeta continue what you had started, hoping it would contain. Do you understand, my dear, what your love has done?" he asks.

"No," I say.

"You've seen it around your District, haven't you? Hope. I believed it was the only thing stronger than fear. That was until you and Peeta proved that love is stronger. But what happens when that love starts giving people hope?"

"I don't know," I say.

"It creates a spark, one that had already started to ignite during your interviews," he says rubbing a spot on his forehead. "This, of course, you don't know. You have no access to information about the mood of other districts. In several of them, however, people viewed your trick with the berries as an inspiration to start, shall we say, an uprising? People are viewing your love and willing to die for each other as a way to lead them. Your defiance against the Capitol was to save the boy you loved, what is to stop them from defying for their loved ones?" he says.

His words hit me, it takes a while for them to sink in. "There have been uprisings?" I ask shocked at the possibility, but afraid to what it could mean for me and Peeta, as well as our families.

"Not yet. But they'll follow if the course of things doesn't change. And uprisings have been known to lead to revolution." President Snow says. "Do you have any idea what that would mean? How many people would die? What conditions those left would have to face? Whatever problems anyone may have with the Capitol, believe me when I say that if it released its grip on the districts for a short time, the entire system would collapse."

The directness of his speech takes me back. How his primary concern is the citizens of Panem. "It must be very fragile, if our love and a handful of berries can bring it down."

He examines me, taking a long pause, "It is fragile, but no in the way you suppose."

There's a knock at the door and then the Capitol man is sticking his head in. "Her mother wants to know if you want tea."

"I would. I would like tea," says the president and then my mother enters the room, holding a tray with a china tea set she brought to the Seam when she was married. "Set it here, please." He puts his book down, followed by Peeta's rose resting between me and him and pats the center of the desk.

My mother sets the tray down. It holds a china teapot and cups, sugar and cream, and a plate of cookies. They're Peeta's cookies. Beautifully iced with flowers.

"What a welcome sight. You know, it's funny how often people forget that presidents need to eat, too." The president says charmingly. It helps relax my mother down.

"Can I get you anything else? I can cook something more substantial if you're hungry," she offers.

"No, this could not be more perfect. Thank you," he says, dismissing her. My mother nods, shooting me a look and then leaves. President Snow pours us both tea and sits stirring his cream and sugar. It's my go to speak.

"I didn't mean to start any uprisings," I tell him.

"I believe you. It doesn't matter. Your stylist turned out to be prophetic in his wardrobe choice. Katniss Everdeen, the girl who was on fire. Like I said, you have created a spark, left unattended, will grow into a blaze that destroys Panem." He says.

"Why don't you just kill me now?" I blurt out drawing the attention to me, hoping he will spare Peeta.

"Publically?" asks Snow. "And leave the boy alone? That would only add fuel to the flames."

"Arrange an accident then," I say.

"Who would buy it?" he asks. "Not you, if you were watching."

"Then just tell me what you want me to do. I'll do it," I say.

"If only it were that simple," he says picking up one of Peeta's cookies and examines it. "Lovely. Your mother made these?"

"Peeta," I say not being able to hold his gaze.

"Peeta, how is the love of your life?" he asks.

"Good," I say.

"It would be a shame if something was to happen to him, wouldn't it?" he says. I try to keep my face expressionless, my fists clenched to stop them from shaking, but it's not use. He knows the one thing to destroy me with.

"Please don't hurt him," I whisper.

"I don't want to, Miss Everdeen. But killing the boy may well solve the issue. They're all looking at you, more than your love. Killing the boy would destroy the image, destroy you without having to kill you and the inspiration you created," he says.

"Please don't kill him," I say my voice breaking.

"Hold on," he tells me. "At first I was thinking of another way, how to contain the spark from catching? I thought, perhaps we should split the two of you up, end the love that started it all. But the citizens would know the Capitol was behind it. That and the citizens of the Capitol would disapprove. This is what I want you to do. On the tour, I want the two of you to show them your happy ending, that you know nothing. I want you to show them that you're only in love with the boy."

"I will show them," I say.

"And if you don't," he rises from the chair, dropping the napkin and picking up his book, as well as the rose. He walks around the desk, holding the rose out for me. "Then the boy's death will be on your hands."

**(a/n): dun dun dunnnnn. Are you all seeing it now? Does that answer your questions to Peeta's bigger role? Trust me, he will be important. I hope you all enjoyed it and like how the story is heading. But what could Snow possibly mean? hmmmm... Please do review and the next chapter will be on Wednesday.**


	22. Victory tour

**(a/n): If you're not understand then think back to what Plutarch was saying in the Catching Fire movie about showing Katniss as one of them. Yeah? It will make more sense over time. But here is the next chapter. **

Chapter 22: Victory tour

The click of the door shuts behind me. A shaky breath leaves me. Peeta's body lying on the ground flickers through my mind, an accident or an illness that the president could easily get away with. All he has to do is click his fingers. I need to pull myself together, my mother will be asking questions and the cameras will be showing up soon.

Outside, a car takes of silently just like it came in, unnoticed. Peeta's beautiful cookie is crushed in my fist. Have I saved Peeta from the games or have I destroyed him? A direct threat to him and our families. If I don't stop the uprisings from happening then all my loved ones would be dead, destroying me.

But I have the tour to change things. To save Peeta and our loved ones. All I have to do is show our relationship to the world, show people that I never intended for uprisings and rebellions to happen. That we're only in love. That should be easy, right? Everyone already knows we're in love, so do I just carry on how we are or is he intending something more?

I hear my mother's light quick footsteps on the wooden floor. Getting louder and louder as she nears me. I take deep breaths, closing my eyes and swallowing the bile that rests in my throat. I put the rose back in the bouquet, sickened by the sight of them now. Then I brush the cookie crumbs of my hand onto the tray and take a shaky sip of my tea to give my hands something to do.

"Is everything all right, Katniss?" she asks.

"It's fine. We never see it on television, but the president always visits the victors before the tour to wish them luck," I say brightly but inside my stomach is twisting.

My mother's face floods with relief. "Oh. I thought there was some kind of trouble."

"No, not at all," I say. "The trouble will start when my prep team see how I've let my eyebrows grow back in." My mother laughs.

"Why don't I start your bath?" she asks.

"Great," I say seeing her pleased by my response.

She leaves and I down the last of my tea, trying to settle my stomach. It's not President Snow that scares me the most, it's the fact that I could lose Peeta and our families if I don't calm things down. The thought of failing terrifies me. I had spent the last few months fearing he would take Peeta from me and now he's came threatening. But I can't lose him, I can't lose any of them.

I go upstairs to the bathroom. A steaming tub awaits, flowers perfume the air from the dry flowers and I'm relieved it takes away the smell of roses and blood. I undress and slip into the silk water, letting the oil that my mother put in, soak into my skin.

I'm going to have to tell someone. I can't go through this alone and I am going to need someone to point me in the right direction, someone who will know what to do. Peeta can't know, I don't want him to worry or bring him into this anymore. Cinna, he's already at a risk and I don't want to pull him further into it, either. That means all I have is Haymitch, who could be more help than I'm thinking. He helped me with the interviews and he won't leave me alone with this again, I'm sure his life is at risk as well.

I slip under the water, wanting to escape reality and decide to go back to the time I went swimming with my father. When he taught me to swim in the lake, how the mud from the bottom would get in-between my toes and I could float freely. Then after we would dig for Katniss roots, going home for a good meal.

I've thought about taking Peeta to the lake, but with his leg and the idea of him out there stops me from asking him. Also it's always belonged to me and my father, I'm not sure if I'm ready to share that with anyone else.

Even underwater I can hear the cars honking, people shouting and talking. I want to slip further away, to escape from everything. But I can't and I have to do this for Peeta. I have just enough time to slip out and into a robe before my prep team come bursting in.

"Katniss, your eyebrows!" Venia shrieks. I have to bite my lip to stifle a laugh. Her aqua hair has been gelled up into spikes and the golden tattoos that swirl around her eyebrows, now go under her eyes as well.

Octavia comes up, patting Venia's back soothingly, her curvy body looking plumper than usual next to Venia. "There, there. You can fix those in no time. But what am I going to do with these nails?" she grabs my hand between her now evergreen skin hand. "Really, Katniss, you could have left me something to work with!" she wails.

I've bitten my nails down to stubs, the worrying over something happening to Peeta and thinking about the Hunger Games has made a habit out of it. "Sorry," I mutter having bigger things to worry about than my nails.

Flavius lifts up strands of my wet tangled hair, shaking his head so his orange curls bounce. "Has anyone touched this since you last saw us?" he asks. "Remember, we specifically asked you to leave your hair alone."

"Yes!" I say, not wanting to make them feel like I've taken them for granted. "I mean, no, no one's cut it. I did remember that." My hair has either been left in its braid or down.

This seems to make them smile and then they're greeting me, kissing me and then sitting me down on a chair in my bedroom. Non-stop talking begins, no one pays attention to me. Venia reinvents my eyebrows, Octavia gives me fake nails and Flavius massages some goo into my hair. I hear all about the Capitol, what a hit the games were, how adorable Peeta and I are, and how they can't wait to see us on our tour. Then, of course, we hear all about the third Quarter Quell.

"Isn't it thrilling?"

"Don't you feel so lucky?"

"In your first year of being a victor, you get to be a mentor in the Quarter Quell!"

"Oh, yes," I say naturally but really I'm thinking about all the kids I see come out Prim's school and wonder which one I'll be mentoring. That's if we even live to the Quarter Quell. I close my eyes, sending the thoughts away from my mind. I just need to focus on today and then I can speak to Haymitch later.

"Haymitch better be preparing himself for a lot of attention!" squeals Octavia. Haymitch has never mentioned his personal experience in the Hunger Games. I would never ask. It's a good thing Peeta and I are mentors during the Quarter Quell as Haymitch will likely be wasted. And I can't really blame him.

Soon the conversation leads to their private lives with all the social events that take place. I block them out, not needing to know or caring about what happens in the Capitol. My eyebrows are soon stinging, and my nails are ready to be painted. They've been told to only work on my nails and face, going for the girlish look again. Good. It will help show everyone I'm the girl in love, not the girl wanting a revolution.

"Oh!" Venia squeals when she puts down a pallet of make up on my bedside table. Their equipment is taking up every space in my room. I see that Venia is holding the photo frame Effie gave me in her hands, looking at the picture of me and Peeta. "Octavia, Flavius, look how sweet this is!"

Octavia and Flavius put down what they're holding and join Venia looking at the picture. They're all squealing and talking together. "Does Peeta have one too?" Flavius asks.

"Yes," I say.

"Aren't they just adorable?" Venia squeals.

"Girls, come on!" Flavius says, wiping his eyes a little. "We need to finish our girl."

"Wait till I tell everyone at home!" Octavia says with a squeal. Venia puts the photo frame back where it was and then comes over to finish my make-up. I think about how they go home and gossip about it at their social parties and gatherings.

"Having that photo helps me sleep at night when we're not together," I tell them wanting to build to their gossip stories. Really, I don't want them to know, but if it helps show our love more then it could help us. Send them home gossiping for everyone to hear. "It gets really lonely."

"Oh, you poor things," Venia says.

"Sometimes the picture doesn't even help and I just need to be in his arms," I say. This seems to send them in hysterics, which was not what I planned, but I know they will have to go on telling everyone now. Let the news travel around, it would likely appear on TV when Caesar hears about it letting the nation know, as well. My privacy and our love will always be there's now, as well. Will it ever be just the two of us? Before they can go on asking questions, my mother comes in, shyly, saying Cinna wanted her to show my prep team how she does my hair on the day of the reaping. They watch her with enthusiasm, eagerness with every step my mother does. I wonder if I was born in the Capitol would I have ended up like them.

When my hair is done, I find Cinna downstairs in the living room and just the sight of him sparks a bit of hope in me. He looks the same as normal, nothing like the Capitol. We embrace, I have to bite my lip to stop me from spilling out my visit from President Snow. But Haymitch is the best person to go to first.

"What did you do to them up there?" Cinna asks raising his eyebrows.

"They found a photo of me and Peeta," I say. He shakes his head, grinning, and then he leads me over to what he has been working on.

Clothing, fabrics and sketchbooks have been arranged around the room. My talent. I pick one up, examining Cinnia's fine work. "You know, I think I show a lot of promise," I say thinking how Peeta would be proud.

"Get dressed, you worthless thing," he says chucking a bundle of clothes at me.

I may not be interested in fashion but I can't help but admire Cinna's clothes. Now, he has me dressed in black flowing pants made out of a warm thick material. A white shirt and a jumper woven from strands of greens, greys and blue. Then laced leather boots that don't pinch my toes.

"Did I design my outfit?" I ask.

"No, you aspire to design your outfit and be like me, your fashion hero," says Cinna handing me a stack of cards. My stomach drops. "You'll read these off camera while they're filming the clothes. Try to sound like you care."

Effie then arrives in a bright orange wig that makes everyone turn to look at her. I can't help but think about mine and Peeta's date, how he told me his favourite colour was orange but not the colour of Effie's wig, sunset orange. "We're on schedule!" she kisses me on both cheeks and then waves the camera crew through.

I try to put enthusiasm into the clothes I pick up to show the cameras, trying to prove to Peeta that I can talk about fashion, as well as for Cinna. They record me reading the cards in an enthusiastic voice and then they're kicking us out, wanting to film mine/Cinna's work.

Prim got out of school early for the event, now she stands in a light blue flock talking to a camera crew. The blue matches her eyes and her hair is pulled back with a matching ribbon. I can't help but notice how she is leaning on her toes, like she is about to take flight. And then I am seeing Rue instead of Prim. I take a startled step back, knocking into Cinna. He raises his eyebrows and I nod my head, telling him I'm fine.

He's then helping me into my coat, the softness of the fur hiding my shaking body. The animal isn't familiar. "Ermine," he tells me as I stroke the white sleeve. Then he passes me leather gloves, a bright red scarf and then something covers my ears. "You're bringing earmuffs back in style."

I hate them. They remind me what it was like when I couldn't hear in my left ear, making a ringing come back that isn't there. I know it's repaired, but I have to check to make sure I can still hear.

My mother hurries up to me. "For good luck," she says dropping the mockingjay pin Madge gave me into my hand. Cinna pins it to my red scarf.

Effie claps her hands. "Attention, everyone! We're about to do the first outdoor shoot, where the victors greet each other at the beginning of their marvelous trip. All right, Katniss, big smile, you're excited, right?" I feel like my breakfast is going to come up. Seeing Peeta is making me nervous, we've seen each other every day since coming home but now after Snow's visit…

Effie shoves me out of the door. I can't quite make out anything at first, the snow is falling too hard and then I see Peeta's figure coming out of his door. The smile is already on my face. _Show them your happy ending. _I will. He's smiling when he sees me and then I am running towards him, wanting to be in his arms.

He catches me, spinning me around and then he slips, falling to the ground with me on top of him. We both laugh, knowing this has happened a few times before with him getting used to his leg and then we're kissing. His touch takes all the nerves and fear away, it's just me and him, the world is paused around us. I press my forehead to his after not wanting to go anywhere else.

"Peeta! Katniss!" Effie is calling but we're not listening. "Come on, we're going to be late!"

Peeta flicks snow at me and then I am getting up, offering him my hand. The cameras are still rolling, the camera people watching us with smiles, a few crying and I wonder how long the cameras have been on for. Cars are then picking us up, taking us to the train station where we're catching the train to District eleven first.

It's only my mother, Prim and Peeta's family that made the list to come say goodbye to us. The baker surprisingly hugs me. "Enjoy as much of it as you can, all right?" he says.

"The food I'll enjoy," I say earning a chuckle from him.

"Don't eat too much lamb stew," Riley says smiling.

"Can't promise anything," I say.

"Take care, Katniss," Alex says. "We all know our brother is in safe hands."

Peeta smiles, "Couldn't be anywhere safer."

I leave Peeta to say goodbye to his family. The hurt is clear on his face when he realised his mother didn't turn up, but he isn't letting it show. His father said that she had to stay to watch the bakery for the cameras, but we all know better. I hug my mother, telling her I got her enough game to last them a few days and David said he'll drop a few things round from the bakery. I'm not worried, they have enough money now to feed themselves.

Prim hugs me tighter. "I'm going to miss you."

"I'll be home soon," I tell her. "Then we can have another hot chocolate night, yeah?"

"Yeah." She agrees.

Then we're going onto the train, waving goodbye to our families as we leave. Looking at them I think about how if I fail then they will all end up dead, including the boy holding my hand. We're taken to a dinning cart where dinner awaits for us.

"Well, how about that," Effie says. "I think that was an excellent first day."

"It was exhausting," I say piling my plate with the lamb stew and taking a few rolls. I can think of a few other ways to describe today, nerve wrecking, terrifying and horrible.

"Well, you was up well before dawn," Peeta says with a grin.

"I guess tonight will just have to be an early night for all of us then," says Effie. "Of course, we need to watch the recapping's first. I'm not sure what they're going to edit out."

"Have you all seen Peeta's paintings?" Portia asks. "They're hauntingly beautiful."

His paintings are lovely to look at for a few minutes, until the dreams of his work turn into nightmares. "Wait till you see Katniss' fashion, everyone is going to want to wear it," says Cinna.

"That's all thanks to my inspiring fashion hero," I say grinning.

"Where would you be without him," says Cinna.

"I think the fashion is going to improve your image," Haymitch says taking a sip of his drink. The fashion designing helping with the look of the innocent girl and I have to agree with him.

After dinner we all sit around the living room. I sit in-between Peeta and Cinna, gripping Peeta's hand for support. President Snow will likely be seeing this, wanting to see me show our happy ending, our love story.

Caesar Flickerman kicks of our tour, telling the audience how excited he is to see us together again. But first, we're to see our talents. Peeta is on screen first showing his paintings, the ones of me are mainly at the front. Me in the trees, running, injured in his arms and then in the cave. I notice how his paintings of Rue have disappeared. Confident as ever in what he is saying.

Then I am on screen and I let out a groan making everyone around me laugh. Peeta puts his arm around me. You can tell I don't have a clue what I'm talking about, just saying how I love the colours or the style or feel of whatever it is I'm holding. But even with the recordings going over it still sounds like I'm not really sure.

I can feel Peeta grinning without even having to look at him. "Stop grinning." I tell him.

"How do you know I'm grinning?" he asks.

"Because I know you too well," I say turning to prove my point. His grin in wide, clearly amused with watching me with my fake talent and having me know that he's grinning.

"Your talent was great," he tells me. "Who would have thought you had all that in you?"

"You're such a bad liar," I tease. He kisses my cheek making me blush as everyone else is in the room with us, this seems to amuse him as well.

Then I'm on screen again, looking for Peeta and my face transforms when I find him. I'm shocked with how my face glows, how my eyes light up and my smiles brightens just by the sight of him. Surely this must show them. Then I am running into his arms, the two of us falling together in the snow. We're laughing and kissing, the amount of time it goes on for makes me sink down the sofa.

"Well this is top entertainment," Haymitch says.

Effie comes in, making us all laugh. Peeta flicks the snow at me and another laugh escapes, as well as a smile. Then we're getting up, our hands entwining as we follow Effie. It goes back to Caesar, who we can all see has been clearly crying.

"Look at that," he says wiping his eyes. "A fairy-tale ending that's only just begun."

Even when we're miles apart, Caesar still knows the right thing to say that helps me. Really, if that wasn't what Snow was looking for than I don't know what is. That was full with love, happiness and longing to be together. Everything he wanted. No signs of rebellion.

"How touching," Effie says, close to tears.

"You're certainly moving people, girl on fire." Says Cinna sending a shiver through me.

And then it's the goodbyes at the train station, Caesar taking note on me talking with Peeta's family. The hug his father gives me. They've also managed to get Peeta in with my mother, him hugging her and then Prim, showing the relationships built between our two families.

"And there we go," concludes Caesar. "A beautiful start to the tour with our Star-Crossed lovers. Join me tomorrow for our victors in District eleven, you're not going to want to miss it!" No, you're not. They don't have a choice but to watch it.

"Wasn't that moving?" Haymitch says getting up. "I need another drink."

"Well, we better all be getting some rest," says Effie. "It's another big, big, big day tomorrow!"

I think everyone assumes Peeta and I will be sleeping together, as no one stops us when we got to his room. And I'm blushing when I realise that his room has been stocked with clothes for me as well. But when I look through the draw where the pyjamas have to be, I can't find anything suitable a part from flimsy thin gowns. A bright red blush feels my cheeks.

"Here," Peeta says handing me one of his pyjama tops and trousers.

"These are going to be too big," I say.

"Wear them tonight," he tells me. "Then you can talk to Cinna about… his choice in night wear tomorrow."

I get changed in the bathroom, washing all the make-up off and untangling my hair from its braid for the night. Then I put on Peeta's pyjamas, the top coming down to my thighs and then the trousers have to be rolled up a few times. I don't understand Cinna's choice, he knows I won't feel comfortable in wearing clothes like that. I'll have to ask him tomorrow. Peeta is waiting for me when I enter and I climb in next to him, resting my head on his chest.

"They're defiantly too big for you," he says with a laugh.

"Stop laughing," I tell him thinking about the other option of pyjamas for me tonight.

He puts his arm around me. "Are you embarrassed?" he asks.

"Embarrassed about what?" I question.

"Those night gowns," Peeta says.

"Can we not talk about them?" I say.

"You don't have to feel embarrassed or awkward, Kat," he says holding me closer to him. "I don't know why Cinna would leave you them when he knows you."

"Did you like those night gowns?" I ask before I can stop myself. I close my eyes, burying my head closer to his chest, wanting to hide.

Peeta laughs lightly. "Kat, I love you no matter what you wear. I'll never force you to wear something like that if you're not comfortable."

"Good because I never will," I say feeling the vibrations of his laughter underneath me.

"Are you going to be all right tomorrow?" he asks after his laughter has died down. His voice has turned serious and protective.

"No," I say. "But I don't have a choice."

He kisses the top of my head. "I'll be there with you. You won't have to talk if you don't want to."

"Thank you," I whisper kissing him lightly.

Then I wait for Peeta to fall asleep, letting his body relax underneath me. Only when I know he is deeply asleep, I untangle myself from his arms and carefully get out of the bed. A robe is hanging for me on the door and I slip that on, putting my slippers on my feet. At least these are decent.

I quietly creep down the hallways, knocking several times on Haymitch's door before he answers. He's scowling like he knows I've brought bad news.

"What do you want?" he asks his breath foul with wine.

"I have to talk to you," I say.

"Now?" he asks. I nod. "This better be good." He waits, but I have a feeling that every conversation we have is being recorded. "Well?" he barks.

Fortunately, the train stops for fuel. "The train's so stuffy," I say.

Haymitch's eyes narrow in understanding. "I know what you need." He pushes past me, walking down the hall towards a door. The door is pushed open, letting in the cold air and snow. He trips out onto the ground.

A Capitol attendant ruses to help, but Haymitch waves her away staggering of down the track. "Just want some fresh air. Only be a minute."

"Sorry. He's drunk," I say apologetically. "I'll get him." I hop down soaking my slippers in the cold snow as I catch up with him. He leads me to the end of the train so we won't be overhead.

Then he turns to me. "What?"

I tell him everything about Snow's visit, about Peeta and how we're all going to die if I fail.

I watch as his face goes sober, growing older in the red light. "Then you can't fail."

"I know," I say. "I just needed someone to… I just didn't want to be alone going through this."

"Why don't you tell Peeta?" Haymitch asks.

"I don't want him to worry or have to deal with any of this," I say.

He shakes his head. "I think you know want Snow is wanting from this."

I watch him for a second, slowly thinking about what he is saying and then it hits me. All the air is taken from my lungs. _Show them your happy ending. _I'm only sixteen. Not even seventeen for a few months. But the president is wanting me to marry Peeta.

**(a/n): You all starting to see where this and Snow was leading now? Please don't start hating Cinna for the 'night wear' and just wait till the next chapter when Katniss speaks to him about it, but I think you can all guess. Next chapter will be on Saturday. Please do review. **

**THIS IMPORTANT: So, my laptop screen has started to crack, which is obviously a huge problem. The next chapter is already written, so I will post in on Saturday. But soon my laptop will be going into repair for a few weeks. I'm going to slow down on posting and write a few chapters, so I will still be able to post through my Kindle while my laptop is being repaired. I'm so sorry. **


	23. District eleven

**(a/n): here is the next chapter. I hope you all enjoy it. It's really hard to type when my screen is cracked so I've only gone over it once. **

Chapter 23: District Eleven

We walk back to the train in silence. I know deep down that I won't be able to escape this. I'll probably have a few years till they start demanding children, they could already be planning my children's games. But this wasn't what I wanted. I wanted to spend my life with Peeta, without having children. Haymitch pats my back outside his compartment door. "At least you love each other." And then goes back into his compartment.

In our room, Peeta is spread out fast asleep in bed, my disappearance hasn't woke him. I take of my slippers and robe, change into a different pair of his pyjamas and climb into bed next to Peeta. I face him, his eyes closed flickering with dreams and his breathing is calm and relaxed. Not only are we being forced into having a family together, we've had our freedom taking away. Our decisions on our relationship aren't up to us now. I push his hair away from his eyes wanting to take him away from the threats and future we're being pushed into. I think about Prim and how I had the chance to take her place when my mother couldn't. With our children I won't have that chance, I'll be mentoring them for slaughter.

But maybe we can runaway together. If we all disappeared into the woods and never came back. Peeta would constantly be at threat, he will always be used as a weapon to control me by the Capitol. Perhaps it's safer to take that risk of running, for him and our families. I shake the thoughts away from my mind. I need to focus on the victory tours. Just take one step at a time.

I snuggle closer to Peeta and as if on instinct he pulls me in closer to him, keeping his arm on my hip. But even with his comfort, sleep doesn't come. I feel the sun rising behind me, heating my back, but I don't take my eyes of Peeta. I watch him sleep, worried that if I close my eyes then he will be taken from me. Effie then taps on the door.

Peeta stirs next to me, opening his eyes to find me awake. "Did you sleep?" he asks in a sleepy voice.

I shake my head, not sure what I'm supposed to say to him. He reaches out to me moving a strand of hair away from my face. "We'll get through this and then go home," he tells me.

I take his hand before he can pull it away, squeezing it gently. "I just want to go home now."

"I know," he says pulling me down for a hug. "Did you change your pyjamas?"

My eyes widen, thanking how he can't see my face as it's hidden in his neck. "Yeah, I went for a walk and then some fresh air."

"Why didn't you wake me? I would have gone with you," he says rubbing small circles on my back.

"I know," I say. "I just wanted to be alone to my thoughts."

He nods his head understanding. Then he disappears to the bathroom to get dressed while I get dressed in the bedroom. We then meet Effie in the dining room. I wonder how early she has to wake up to get ready.

"You didn't have to get up so early, Peeta," says Effie as we take our seats. "Katniss needs more time getting ready."

"Why? It's too cold for anything to show," I grumble thinking about all the hair that's surely planned to be ripped from my body. Peeta hasn't had to have his body hair waxed, but I know they did something to him and the rest of the boys, stopping their beards from growing. His skin around his jaw is completely smooth.

"Not in District eleven," says Effie.

The kitchen staff are trying to please us. Bring out all the food and drinks Peeta and I like, the attendants smiling when they catch our eye. Peeta already has a hot chocolate and I dip some of my bread into his before getting my own cup.

"Your prep team are waiting for you in your room," says Effie once I've finished my breakfast. "Hurry, they've got a lot to work with."

"Fine," I snap standing up. I lean down kissing Peeta, worried that something will happen to him in the time we're apart. Even if it is only a few hours, theses Capitol attendants could be given orders at any moment. The thought leaves me gulping for air as I leave the room.

In my bedroom, my prep team are drinking cups of coffee and popping small pills. They don't seem to be used to getting up at dawn, unless it is a national emergency. Apparently my leg hair is. I sigh, running my hands along the curly downs of my leg before giving myself over to them. They're not up for small talk, so I can hear every strip ripping the hairs from skin.

Flavius sighs, "Cinna wasn't happy with this but he was given orders."

Orders by who for what? I soon find out, followed by another rip. My cheeks are heated and my fists are clenched more in anger than the pain. Cinna was ordered probably by President Snow for me to be waxed completely. Was he ordered to leave me the night gowns, as well? There isn't a hair left on my body a part from my eyebrows and my hair. With every strip I'm thinking about the marriage he wants, followed by the children. Giving Cinna orders to show that he is still in control of what happens with our relationship.

When they leave me to soak in a tub full with a thick unpleasant smelling solution, my face and hair are plastered with creams. A few tears escape my eyes, the future being forced onto me taking everything it has from me. The fear of not doing what he wants and failing causing Peeta's death. Going home to find my families dead bodies. Whether I want it to or not, it's going to happen. They come back in and I pull myself together. I'm put through another two baths with less offensive contractions. Then I'm plucked, messaged and anointed until I'm raw.

Flavius tilts up my chin another sigh. "It's a shame Cinna said no alterations on you."

"Yes, we could really make you something special," says Octavia.

"When she's older," says Venia grimly. "Then he'll have to let us."

I shiver at the thought of looking like any of them. My skin dyed a freakish colour, cat's whiskers or tattoos marking my face. They don't understand how ridiculous they look, how they're a joke to the rest of Panem.

By the time they're finally done, I'm allowed to go back to the dining cart for lunch. Everyone has already started eating before me, smiling and enjoying their food while I had just been plucked like a bird. Cinna gives me a small apologetic smile and I know he had no choice. Haymitch is nursing a hangover, a muffin in his hand as he watches me curiously, like he knows what I'm thinking. Peeta smiles at me, raising his eyebrows at the scowl that is likely on my face. For reasons he knows and doesn't know. Reasons that he will likely find out soon when I'm forced to walk down the aisle.

I sit down next to him, playing around with my broth. Peeta keeps asking me what's wrong and I brush him of, telling him I'm fine. People try to bring me into the conversation, I focus on my broth. Peeta's hand finds mine under the table giving it a squeeze. I squeeze back. Then the train is stopping for fuel sending Effie into hysterics about being late. She pulls out her schedule, going on about how the delay will impact everything.

"No one cares, Effie!" I snap. Everyone looks at me, including Haymitch, who you'd think would be on my side since Effie drives him nuts as well. I go onto defence. "Well, no one does!"

I get up, leaving the dining cart. Then I find myself needing to escape, to stop the queasiness in my stomach. I find the exit door, ignoring the alarms that go of when I open it, and jump to the ground. I prepared myself for snow only to find the green of grass and leaves that surround the trees. The air is warm, my shaky body sweating in the heat. I walk along the track, regretting my words to Effie already. She's not to blame for the mood I'm in. I should go back and apologise. Manners are important to her and I was rude. My feet carrying on walking, past the end of the train and leaving it behind. But I can't walk any further and I sink to the ground, bringing my knees up to my chest. Staring into the distance.

There's footsteps soon behind me. Probably Haymitch, wanting to chew me out for being horrid to Effie. I deserve it, I just don't want to hear it. "I'm not in the mood for a lecture."

"I'll try to keep it breath," Peeta takes a seat next to me.

"I thought you were Haymitch," I say.

"No, he's still working on that muffin," Peeta says, adjusting his artificial leg. I look away, something I couldn't help him save. Now here we're again with his life in my hands. "Bad day, huh?"

"It's nothing," I say. I know I should tell Peeta now, it's not fair to keep it from him any longer with us being forced into marriage, but I can't. He knows how I feel about the future; I don't want to hurt him. Perhaps if it was a few years' time then we could get married, but forcing children into the situation makes it a lot harder to wrap my mind around.

He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, turning my face to his. "Everyone knows how hard today is for you."

"What about you?" I ask. "Today must be hard for you, too."

"Yes," he says. "But I know I can do it with you by my side."

I smile, resting my head on his shoulder. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

He kisses the top of my head. "I know it's not just today that's bothering you. You can tell me," he whispers.

I close my eyes. How am I supposed to tell him? I can't tell him. Especially not at the moment when we're both close to District eleven. We haven't got enough time to talk about it. I don't want him facing the cameras knowing just yet. "I just hate what my prep team make me go through," I say, deciding to tell him after.

His head lowers kissing my neck and shoulder, he's trying to cheer me up as well as comforting me by talking about my problems. "They don't understand that they don't need to do anything to make you beautiful," he whispers.

"They wanted to do alterations but Cinna told them no," I tell him. I can't bring myself to tell him about the night gowns and the waxing that would all lead to Snow's visit.

"Well, thank god for Cinna then," Peeta says. "I won't ever let them change you."

"You won't?" I say.

"No," says Peeta. "You don't need any alterations. You're perfect the way you are." He looks up, studying my face. A heatness feels my cheeks that he traces.

"I am?" I say in a clam voice.

"I love the way you look," he says stroking my cheeks. "I love everything about you."

"I love you," I say. "Promise me you'll always remember that." I'm worried that when he finds out, how he knows I don't want that future, he will think I won't love him that I don't want to be with him. I do. Of course I want to spend my life with him, the world we live in just makes that hard for it to happen happily. _Show them your happy ending. _How do I show them if our happy ending involves our kids being reaped?

"Kat, I'll never forget that," he says laughing.

"Just promise," I say pushing him down to the ground, allowing me to lay on top of him. His hands travel up my back running through my hair.

"I promise," he says watching me carefully. "Why do you think I'll forget?"

Instead of answering him, I kiss him. My hands travel through his hair, pulling him closer. He runs his hands back down my back, wrapping them around my waist as he pulls me down closer to him. It's him that pulls away laughing. "We should probably go back."

"Probably," I say. I stand up, blushing at how my top has risen slightly. Peeta sees and he's blushing as well as he get ups. Then his hand entwines with mine and we walk back to the train.

"I've got to apologise to Effie," I say.

"Don't be afraid to lay it on thick," Peeta tells me kissing my cheek.

Effie accepts my apology a little too graciously. Telling me how I am under a lot of pressure, which I have to agree with, and the necessity of someone attending the schedule. I've got of easily. Then after Peeta takes me down to the end of the train, where we could see District eleven. When we get there the train has started to move again.

Sofas and chairs sit around the room. The back window retracts to the ceiling, making it appear that you're standing outside. But all you can see is the darkness of the tunnels we travel through to get into District eleven.

Peeta pulls me down on the sofa next to him, keeping an arm wrapped around my shoulders. We sit in silence, Peeta playing with my hair and I can see him watching me from the corner of my eye. He's worried. I look out of the window watching the endless darkness that seems to go. I think about what today is going to bring and whether the Districts will see my love for Peeta as just love.

Then the tunnels start to get lighter, a sign that they're coming to the end. For a spilt second, a golden symbol flashes on the side of the wall. My mockingjay pin. A startled gasp escapes me. Peeta turns to see what I'm looking at but it's long gone. But I saw it. Someone has made a symbol out of the pin Madge had given me. This is what President Snow is wanting me to stop.

"What is it?" Peeta questions.

The tunnels end blinding us with the brightness of the sun. A fence appears, ten metres high with barbed wire at the top. It makes our fence in District twelve look childish. There has to be no way out of these fences. Then the watchtowers come into view, guards standing armed with guns.

"That's something different," says Peeta.

Rue did give me an impression that District eleven's rules were more harshly enforced. I never imagined it to be like this. Now the crops begin, stretching far into the distance. Men, women and children in straw hats take the opportunity of standing to stretch their backs as they see our train go past. I can see the orchards behind them and I wonder whether that was where Rue worked. I can imagine her climbing to the top of the slimmest branches. Small communities of shacked, homes better than the ones in the Seam, scatter around that are empty as everyone is out working.

It goes on and on. "How many people do you think live here?" Peeta asks and I shake my head not knowing. We've always only known it as the large District. I wonder how Rue ended up in the games when there was thousands of others that could have taken her place.

Effie comes in, telling us that we need to get dress. I don't object. I go to my bedroom, letting my prep team do my hair and make-up. Cinna comes in with a pretty orange frock patterned with autumn leaves. I smile knowing Peeta will love this colour.

He slips the dress over my body, doing the back up and then whispering, "I'm sorry. Look under the bed there will be pyjamas for you."

"I understand," I say as I know he was forced by President Snow and I'm glad he listened since he's in some trouble as well with creating me the Girl on Fire. "Thank you." He squeezes my arm, giving me a reassuring smile.

Effie gets me and Peeta together going through the programme one last time. I can't hide my smile as Peeta whispers how he likes my dress. In some cities the victors ride through the city as the crowd cheers, but District eleven doesn't have a city or much of a town. The public appearance takes place on the square outside the justice building, which once must have been something of a beauty and now is starting to crumble.

The area outside the justice building is staged for us. District elevens mayor will read a speech in our honour and then introduce us, which we will come on reading a scripted thank-you speech from the Capitol. Usually tributes are supposed to say something good about the tributes that were their allies for their district. I'm expected to say something about Rue, Thresh, likely as well. I've tried to write things at home, each time ending up with the scrunched up paper thrown at the wall. Fortunately, Peeta told me he had something worked out counting for the both of us. At the end of the ceremony we're given some sort of plaque and then we can withdraw to the Justice building, where a dinner awaits us.

As the train is pulling into the station, Cinna adjusts the final touches. Changing my orange hairband to a golden one. Then he is pining my mockingjay pin on my dress. I take a deep breathe, thinking about the mockingjay in the tunnel. There's no welcoming committee outside, only eight Peacekeepers waiting for us with an armoured truck. "Really, you'd think we were all criminals," says Effie.

_Not all of us, Effie. Just me and Peeta. Your love didn't start something, _I think.

The truck takes us to the back of the Justice Building. We're hurried inside. The smell of our dinner being prepared, makes my stomach rumble, but it doesn't cover the smell of the mildew or rot. They've given us no time to prepare. Outside the anthem is already starting to play and then someone is clipping a microphone on me. Peeta's hand squeezes mine. We're introduced and then the doors are groaning open.

"Big smiles!" Effie says giving us a nudge.

_This is it. This is when I have to show everyone our happy ending that has begun, _I think taking a long deep breath and clutching Peeta's hand tight. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to do it, this doesn't seem the time for romance.

There's a loud applause, nothing like the cheers and hysterics the Capitol makes. We walk across the shaded veranda until the roof runs out and then we're starring right into the sun. My eyes slowly adjust, taking in the bright banners that attempt to hide the run-down buildings and then packed with only a fraction of the people.

As usual, a platform has been made at the bottom of the stage for the dead tributes families to stand. On Thresh's, an old women with a hunched back and then a tall, muscular looking girl that has to be Thresh's sister. Rue… I'm not prepared to see her family. Their faces, still full with sorrow. Then those five younger siblings all with wide brown eyes like hers. All leaning on the edge of their toes like they're about to take of… I'm gripping Peeta's hand tightly.

The applause dies out. The mayor gives his speech to us in our honour, wishing us a great future together. Two little girls come onto stage carrying two tremendous bouquets of flowers. Peeta does his part of his scripted speech and then I do mine that my mother and Prim have drilled into me.

Peeta never lets go of my hand, it's not like he can let go with my tight grip. He had his personal comments written on a card, he doesn't pull them out. Instead he talks about them making it to the final eight, about how they both kept me and them himself alive, how it's a debt we can never pay. And then he hesitates before adding something that wasn't on the cards. "It can no way replace your loses, but as a token of our thanks we'd like from each of the tributes' families from District eleven to receive one month of our winnings every year for the duration of our lives."

The crowds can't help but respond in gasps and murmurs. I don't even know if it is legal, neither does Peeta as he didn't ask. The families stare at us in shock. A month of our winnings can easily provide them for a year. As long as we live, they will live.

I look at Peeta as he gives me a sad smile. His gift from us… it's perfect. I'm so touched by him, my heart beating a little faster. I rise on my tiptoes, kissing him. Perhaps it's not me that will show them, it's Peeta.

Then I have to force myself to let go of Peeta's hand and put my bouquet down as the mayor hands me the plaque. The ceremonies about to end when I notice that one of Rue's sisters is watching me. She doesn't look happy, is it because I didn't say something? Then I think how I haven't thanked her. Shame rushes through me. I've stood mute, leaving all the words for Peeta. If Rue had won she would have said something for me. How I covered Rue in flowers for her not to go unnoticed and here I am not noticing her.

"Wait!" I stumble forward. The plaque pressing into my chest as I cling to it. I have to say something for Rue and all of them. "Wait, please," I don't know what I'm going to say, but I can't leave in silence.

"I want to give my thanks to the tributes of District eleven," I say looking to the women on Thresh's side. "I only ever spoke to Thresh one time. Just long enough for him to spare my life. I didn't know him, but I always respected him. For his power. For his refusal to play the Games on anyone's terms but his own. The careers wanted to team up with him from the beginning, but he wouldn't do it. I respected him for that."

For the first time the hunched over women raises her head, a small proud smile shows on her lips. I notice how the crowd have turned completely silent. All eyes watching me with their breaths held.

I turn to Rue's family. "But I feel as if I did know Rue, and she'll always be with me. Everything beautiful brings her to mind. I see her in the yellow flowers that grow in the meadow by my house. I see her in the mockingjays that sing in the trees. But most of all, I see her in my sister, Prim." My voice is breaking but I've almost finished. "Thank you for your children." I raise my chin to address the crowd. "And thank you all for the bread."

The silence makes me fall smaller; the thousands of eyes watching me makes me break. Peeta comes forward taking my hand to give it a reassuring squeeze. Somewhere in the crowd, someone whistles Rue's four-not mockingjay tune. The one that signalled the end of the day in the orchards. The one that meant safety in the arena. The notes come from a wizened old man in a faded red shirt and overalls. Our eyes meet.

What happens next happens in complete unison. This was no accident. Every person in the crowd presses the three middle fingers of their left hand against their lips and extends it out to me, towards Peeta and me. If President Snow hadn't come to see me then this would have moved me to tears. This is showing they respect, support me in what I am doing. Hope flickers in their faces as they look at us. This is what we've created.

My knees start to buckle as the impact hits me. I've done the worst thing, I only wanted to say my thanks, to show my respect to Thresh and Rue. I'm supposed to be defusing the spark but now I've gone and added fuel! Peeta's arm slips round my waist supporting me.

My microphone has been cut off, I can't say anything to control what has just happened. The mayor has taken over and then there is a loud applause. Peeta leads me back to the Justice building, unaware. I can't even look at him, afraid that I will break down.

I have to stop for a moment. The thoughts of people coming to kill Peeta make a strong appearance and I go dizzy in Peeta's arms. "Are you all right?" he asks worried.

"Just dizzy. The sun was so bright," I say still not looking at him. I see his bouquet. "I forgot my bouquet."

"I'll get them," he says.

"I can," I answer.

If I had just left my flowers behind, then we would have been safe. Now the whole thing is played out in front of me.

A pair of Peacekeepers are dragging the old man who whistled to the top of the stairs. Shoving him to his knees in front of the crowd. The bullet is shot through his head, the sound echoing across the square.

**(a/n): Hope you enjoyed the chapter! It's more their love then Katniss in this story so I hope you don't mind that they done the three finger salute to both of them… Please do review! Next chapter will be next Saturday I'm afraid as the next one has so much arguments and moments that are so important and writing it on a cracked laptop is hard. Plus I need to write some chapters ready for when it goes into to repair for you all. I hope you all understand. **

**Teaser: Peeta finds out. What do you think could happen? Will there be an engagement and if so, will Katniss be wanting it? **


	24. A engagement

**(a/n): Hey, glad you all liked the last chapter. Sorry you all had to wait a week. There isn't much news about my laptop, I'm not sure if it can be fixed or not, but I'll find out tomorrow. At the moment it is so hard to type on it, in the past week I've only been able to write half a chapter. But here is the next one, it took me a while to do this one. **

Chapter 24: A engagement.

The man crumples to the ground as a wall of Peacekeepers surround us. They're pushing us back towards the door, but my feet can't move. Peeta's arm wraps around my waist, pulling me back with him "We're going!" says Peeta, shoving the Peacekeeper who's pressing on me. "We get it, all right? Come on, Kat."

Peeta leads me away from the horror, the Peacekeeper's keeping behind us. As soon as we're inside, the doors slam shut behind us. I can hear their boots moving back towards the crowds. Peeta pulls me close to him, resting my head on his chest. I'm too shocked to do or say anything.

"What happened?" Effie hurries over. "We lost the feed just after Katniss's beautiful speech, and then Haymitch said he thought he heard a gunfire, and I said it was ridiculous, but who knows? There are lunatics everywhere!"

"Nothing happened, Effie. An old truck backfired," says Peeta evenly.

Two more shots. Peeta's hand tenses on my head. The door doesn't muffle the sound very well. Who was that? Thresh's grandmother? One of Rue's little sisters?

"Both of you. With me," says Haymitch. Peeta keeps his arm firmly around me, both of us following behind Haymitch, leaving the others behind. The Peacekeepers take no notice of our movements now that we're safe in the Justice Building. We climb up a curved marble staircase, where there's a long hall with a worn carpet on the floor. Double doors are opened for us, inside our evening clothes hanging on racks. Designs of fruit and flowers are carved into the moulding, with small fat children looking down on us. Haymitch takes our microphones of, stuffing them under a cushion and then waves us on.

As far as I know, Haymitch has only been here once, on his victory tour. But he seems to know his way through the maze of twisting staircases and narrowing halls. He stops to force a door open, the squeak showing how long it's been. Then we're going up a trapdoor to the dome of the Justice Building. Broken furniture, books and rusted old weapons are scattered across the room. A layer of dust covering them. Haymitch kicks the trap door and turns on us.

"What happened?" he asks.

Peeta tells Haymitch everything that occurred on the square, keeping his hand on my back. I can see he's completely confused, not knowing anything that is going on. "What's going on, Haymitch?"

"It will be better coming from you," Haymitch says to me.

I look up to Peeta finding him watching me confused. I cringe, thinking how annoyed and angry he is going to be, especially with me. But I tell him everything from the moment I pulled out the berries. Telling him how our love is changing Panem. "I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to have to deal with it after the games. Then he threatened to kill you and I couldn't let you live with that fear, I wanted to keep you out of this as much as I could," I tell him.

"I wish you would have told me! I would rather know what is happening then be left in the dark! Don't you see, Kat? I've made things worse, too! By giving them the money," he knocks a crate over, a vase smashing on the ground and the books scattering everywhere. "This has to stop. Right now. The secrets the two of you keep from me. Kat, I thought we told each other everything? I thought we was supposed to be there for each other, together."

"We do. We are," I say. The tears have started to fall, the built up emotions waiting for this moment.

"Do we? Because you seem to keep a lot of secrets from me," he says and what pains me the most is how he can't even look at me. I go to take his hand but he pulls away.

"I didn't tell you because I was trying to protect you," I explain.

"I know, Kat," he says running a hand through his hair. "I just wish you would have told me and then we could have protected each other."

"You're always so reliable good, Peeta," says Haymitch. "So smart about how you present yourself before the cameras. We didn't want to disrupt that."

That was only a small part, but I nod my head wanting him to understand. "Well, you overestimated me. Because I really screwed up today. What do you think is going to happen to Rue's and Thresh's families? Do you think they'll get their share of winnings? Do you think I gave them a bright future? Because I think they'll be lucky if they survive the day!" Peeta sends something else flying. My body shakes, I've never seen him like this before.

"He's right, Haymitch," I say wiping my tears from my eyes. "We – I – was wrong not to tell him. Even back in the Capitol."

"Even in the arena, you two had some sort of system worked out, didn't you?" he asks, his voice quieting. "Something I wasn't part of."

I can't look at Peeta in the eye. "I made Haymitch promise that he would chose you – keep you alive – instead of me. And then I could just tell what Haymitch wanted to tell me by what he sent."

When I look up, there is pure sadness in his eyes that I caused. "The two of you have to stop doing this. Going behind my back," he says. "People are dead out there. More will follow unless we're very good. We all know I'm better than Katniss in front of the cameras. No one needs to coach me on what to say. But I have to know what I'm walking into."

"From now on, you'll be fully informed." Promises Haymitch.

"I better be," says Peeta and then he turns to me. "How does he want us to show our love?"

"Boy, I don't think that's a good idea right now," says Haymitch.

"You said you would inform me. So, tell me," he says calmly.

My heart is beating too fast, my limbs have gone numb and a sob escapes me. I know he's angry with me, how this isn't the end of our argument, yet. I don't know how he's going to forgive me, but now I'm going to destroy what's left of him. "He wants us to get married," I whisper but I know he's heard me.

When I look up, his eyes are glazed with tears. He takes a step back from me like he can't stand to be near me. Haymitch looks the other way. "And you don't want to marry me." His voice breaks.

"Peeta, of course I do," I say taking a step towards him. "You know I do. But you know I never wanted that future."

"Now you're only doing this to stop the uprisings?" he asks.

"I don't want to do this at all," I tell him. "If it was a few years' time then maybe I would want to marry you. At the moment that future scares me and I'm only sixteen!"

"I'm sixteen, as well!" he says. "This is only happening if it's real."

He leaves after that, giving me one last look before going down the trap door. I'm surprised when Haymitch hugs me, holding me while the last few tears run down my face. He'll never forgive me for not telling him. If Snow forces us to marry then it could ruin what happiness we've managed to create. But there may not be anything now, I could have just sentenced us all to death.

"Katniss, you need to pull yourself together," Haymitch tells me rubbing my back. "Give him time. He's angry and needs to blow of some steam. He knows why you didn't tell him and he knows how hard this is for you, for both of you."

"What am I supposed to do?" I ask wiping the tears away again.

"You need to think hard about what you want. Focus more on Peeta than the future," he tells me. "We're going to go enjoy dinner now. All right, sweetheart?"

"OK," I say.

Haymitch leads me back down, his hand supporting me on my back instead of Peeta's. I wonder where he went or if he is even thinking about me. I stand in the shower for a long time trying to think about what Haymitch told me. I'm trying to think about what I want, but all I can think about is how President Snow is likely going to kill us all. It would be a miracle if we all survived till the end of the night.

My prep team come in getting me ready for tonight. They seem oblivious to the events that have taken place. Instead, they talk about what dishes could be served or what tonight would bring. Here they're allowed to attend the dinners. The old man being shot keeps playing in my mind and then I find myself watching Peeta as a bullet is fired into his head. Flavius asks if I'm all right and then goes on telling me how I shouldn't be nervous and how fun tonight is going to be. After everyone is gone, I find myself looking in the mirror. A pale pink strapless dress brushes my shoes. My hair is pinned back from my face and falls down my back in a shower of ringlets.

Cinna comes up behind me, arranging a shimmering silver wrap around my shoulders. He catches my eye in the mirror. "Like it?"

"It's beautiful. As always," I say.

"Let's see how it looks with a smile," he says reminding me that there is about to be cameras and how I have to show my love, even though Peeta hasn't spoken to me since the attic. I manage to raise the corners of my lips. "There we go."

We all assemble to go down to dinner. Effie seems to be in hysterics, I'm thinking no one told her what's going on. It wouldn't surprise me if Haymitch told Cinna and Portia. But it doesn't take long for the news to travel round.

Effie goes through her schedule for the evening again, and then tosses it to the side. "And then, thank goodness, we can all get on that train and get out of here."

"Is something wrong, Effie?" asks Cinna.

"I don't like the way we've been treated. Being stuffed into trucks and barred from the platform. And then, about an hour ago, I decided to look around the Justice Building. I'm something of an expert in architecture, you know," says Effie

"Oh, yes, I've heard that," says Portia before the pause gets too long.

"So, I was just having a peek around because district ruins are going to be all the range this year, when two Peacekeepers showed up and ordered me back to our quarters. One of them actually poked me with her gun!" says Effie.

I can't help thinking that has something to do with Peeta, Haymitch and me disappearing earlier. It's reassuring how Haymitch knew that no one would be monitoring the dusty dome upstairs. It wouldn't surprise me if they were now.

Effie looks so distressed that I strangely give her a hug. "That's awful, Effie. Maybe we shouldn't go to the dinner at all. At least until they've apologised." I know she wouldn't agree but it seems to brighten her up a bit.

"No, I'll manage. It's a part of my job to weather the ups and downs. And we can't let you two miss your dinner," says Effie. "But thank you for the offer, Katniss."

Then she starts arranging us all into order. First the prep teams, then the stylists, her and then Haymitch. Then it's Peeta and me. I haven't looked at him since coming down. My heart and mind throbs at his closeness but he seems a million miles away.

Musicians begin to play. The first wave of the prep teams leave to join the crowds below us. Peeta takes my hand, giving it a small squeeze.

"Haymitch says it was wrong to yell at you," says Peeta. "That you only wanted to protect me."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," I say.

"I know you are," he says leaving it at that. We stand in silence waiting, something inside me sinks with every second that goes past. He may have forgiven me for not telling him but there is an obvious wound that hasn't been healed yet. Our happy ending.

Soon we're following the others going down the steps. A happy smile spreads across our faces, an act that we're both happy. Cameras greet us along with the mayor and then we're taken to the dinner. We eat, we dance, we kiss but a bigger sadness builds in me. Have I lost him? He promised he would always stay, always remember that I loved him. Now it pains him to even look at me.

Then when we get back to the train, Peeta goes to his room without me. The pyjamas Cinna left me are under my bed and I slip them on before getting into bed, alone. I stare at the empty space next to me. My pillow dampens from my tears, soon tiring my body out.

I wake up thrashing and screaming from the nightmares. Ones I haven't dreamt of in a long time. Seeing Rue die, the mutts coming for us and Peeta lying on the ground with a bullet shot through his head. Peeta opens the door, rushing in with his eyes wide.

"It was just a dream," I say shakily. "Will you stay with me?"

He slides in next to me and I rest my head on his chest. "Always," he says as I close my eyes. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you alone."

"It's all right," I say. "You're here now."

He stays next to me with every District. Never leaving me at the dinners or at night. I can still see the sadness in his eyes as we both know what's coming. The only time we're separated is when we have to get dressed. No one comes for him. We keep our romance in front of the cameras and of, pretending that there is no problems going on between us.

But each District I find the cheers for us, the hope in the people's eyes and people chant my name. I can't help but notice how our love is not calming them down, it's only encouraging them. I leave each District with the fear growing heavier. Cinna has to start taking in my clothes, my prep team start hiding the shadows under my eyes. Peeta is there to reassure me, telling me that he's fine and nothing will happen to him. That we're all going to be fine.

District two and one were the hardest. Cato and Clove would have made it back if we hadn't survived. Then I killed the two from District one. I can't even bring myself to look at their families. Even when I find out the boy's name was Marvel.

While Peeta sleeps I find myself thinking about what Haymitch told me. How I should think about Peeta instead of the future. But what does he mean? We both know the wedding is approaching us, the announcement of it and neither of us can talk about it. Should I think about the happiness of the moment than fearing the future? How I managed to save us both and now we can be together? I think about Peeta, pushing everything away from my mind, President Snow, the uprisings and the fear of my children's names being picked from the ball at the reaping. And I know I want to marry Peeta. I can't live without him and I want to spend my life with him. I may be sixteen but I know there will never be anyone else. I love him. Why should I let President Snow or the future ruin the happiness we could have? We don't have to have children but we could still be together and married.

We reach the Capitol the next day, greeted by the adoring fans, who scream and cry when they see us. Here I know they see only our love. Even when Peeta pulls me to his side, kissing my cheek they cry out of happiness for us. From the train station we're taken back to our old quarters at the Training Centre.

"Peeta," I whisper pulling him aside into my old room. The room causes goose-bumps to travel up my skin. "I want to talk to you."

"What about?" He says keeping hold of my hand.

"I want to marry you," I say.

"You do?" he asks in disbelief.

"Yes," I tell him wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Is this real or not real?" he asks.

I tell him, "Real."

He closes his eyes, resting his forehead against mine. "Are you sure?"

I laugh. "Yes, Peeta," I say. "The future does scare me but I want to be with you."

He smiles. "We'll take it one step at a time," he says. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I say bringing him down to kiss me.

He picks me up, leaving me inches above the ground. "You've just made me the happiest man alive."

"Good," I say happy to see the sadness completely gone from him, to see that bright smile back on his face. "We're going to have our own happy ending without people telling us what to do."

Peeta lays me on the bed, kissing me and telling me how much he loves me. I blush as he tells me, thinking about not the future, but our future of our wedding and happiness. I smile into his kiss in complete happiness of the moment.

When we finally leave the room, we find everyone sitting in the living room, watching the recapping's from yesterday. They all look up hearing us enter. Haymitch raises his eyebrows, seeing our massive smiles. Something that hasn't shown much since District eleven.

"We're getting married," Peeta declares pulling me closer to him.

Effie squeals and I'm so glad the prep teams aren't around. "Oh, my two pearls!" she coos kissing me on both cheeks and then hugging the both of us. "I'm so happy for you!"

Cinna hugs me. "Congratulations. I better get designing," he says with a wink.

Portia hugs me as well. "I'm happy for the two of you. You both deserve it."

Haymitch hugs me whispering in my ear, "There you go, sweetheart. You was wanting it all along."

"Thank you," I whisper.

He nods his head. "Oh! This would be perfect to announce tonight at your interview with Caesar." Effie says.

"That's kind of what we were planning to do," Peeta says. If this doesn't calm the districts down then nothing will.

Then Cinna is taking me of, the prep team appearing to get me ready. I'm shaking as after tonight there will be no going back. But I know this is what I want. When my hair and make-up is done, Cinna enters the room caring a dress with him as red as the roses Peeta got me. He slips it over my body, adjusting my hair and make-up before turning me towards the mirror.

The dress is beautiful, just like all of the others. It's taken in at the waist and flows down like a waterfall as it reaches my toes. Then my hair is curled into ringlets that flows down my back, the front half of my hair being pulled up out of my face. The whole look and outfit suggests romance.

"Thank you, it's beautiful," I say.

"It wasn't supposed to be your dress for tonight," he says. "But a special announcement needs special adjustments."

Cinna walks me out of my room to the lifts. Peeta is standing in a black suit with a red shirt that matches the colour of my dress. A single rose is pinned to his blazer. He smiles when he sees me, a smile that makes my heart beat faster.

"You look beautiful," he whispers to me and then kisses my cheek. "Are you sure about this?"

"I've never been more positive," I say.

"It's time! It's time!" Effie says pushing us all into the lift. Peeta takes my hand squeezing it. I squeeze back. When the lift doors open we're taken over to where the interview will be held. At the same place where the interviews were before the games. Outside the Training Centre. This interview will be live across Panem. Everyone will see it.

Caesar Flickerman is on stage, introducing the show. He's wearing a twinkling blue midnight suit, his eyes, hair and lips still powdered a light blue. "They're here to join us tonight!" he says excitedly. "I have my questions ready, are you ready for answers?" The crowds scream our names in excitement. "Then let's have it for Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!"

Peeta is leading me out onto the stage. At our appearance the crowds scream for us, the sound so loud it's almost deafening. Caesar hugs us both, welcoming us back. Like either of us wants to be here. But then it is all down to business.

"All right," says Caesar. "How has it been for the two of you at home?"

"It's been great," Peeta says. "We only live a few yards away from each other now." the crowd laugh.

"But that still feels too far away," I say.

"Yeah," Peeta agrees. "It's not like we spend that much time away from each other, though."

"Are the two of you always together?" Caesar asks.

"You can't keep us a part," says Peeta. "Even Haymitch is starting to get fed up of our romance." The audience laugh again and I can't help but feel grateful for Peeta, how he can work the audience.

"What about you, Katniss?" Caesar asks.

"Peeta has to work at the bakery a lot of the day," the audience play on the sympathy for me. "But I still manage to see him telling my mother and Prim that I'm going to get some cakes."

"You don't think they worked it out?" Caesar laughs.

"They keep it quiet if I remember to bring them back cakes," I say laughing.

"Speaking about your mother, has she accepted you and Peeta yet?" Caesar asks and the audience laugh remembering how Peeta pulled away from me when we first came home.

"Well, she agreed to let me take Kat out on a date, so I would hope so," Peeta says flashing my mother another innocent grin that causes some laughs, but everyone is squealing over the mention of a date.

"A date? Tell us about it?" Caesar asks. I don't want them to know about our date or any of our private times together. But this is our last chance to contain things and we're using whatever we can to show that we're only in love.

"We had a picnic in my living room, didn't we?" he asks putting his arm around my waist.

"Yes, it was too cold outside," I say. "He even let Prim help him. She helped decorate the biscuits he made." A collection of aw's are spread across the square.

Peeta starts to laugh, "Prim is completely unlike Kat in the kitchen."

I nudge him slightly sending the audience into hysterics. "I can cook. I helped you make dinner," I say.

He kisses my cheek. "She cut up the vegetables."

Caesar laughs, "I think I and the rest of the audience want to hear a story." The crowd shout in response, wanting to know a story about us. I can't think of anything from the top of my mind.

"Remember the first time it snowed?" I find myself saying and Peeta remembers the memory grinning.

"Oh, yes," Peeta says. "You know we had the slippery accident from the first tour day, right?" He addresses Caesar and the audience.

"Yes, we all remember that, don't we?" Caesar says and the audience cheer in agreement.

"Prim and Kat had decided to come to the bakery before we closed up. My father had made them tea, giving them all cakes and treats," Peeta says.

"We saw that footage of you hugging Peeta's father," Caesar tells me.

"Yes," I say. "He's a lovely man. Just like his son." I rest my head on Peeta's shoulder.

"You've probably just made his day, again. As well as mine," Peeta says kissing me in front of everyone. They all scream and cheer at the unexpected kiss. I know I am as well inside.

"You have lipstick on your lips," I say laughing afterwards. The audience are laughing and screaming as I wipe the lipstick from his lips.

"Thank you," he says putting his arm back around me. "As I was saying, he wouldn't let any of us leave until the snow had calmed down. Then when it finally did the three of us walked home."

"What happened?" Caesar asked. I look around to find the audience are all leaning in wanting to find out themselves.

"I had my arm wrapped around, Kat. I had slipped on a bit of snow, not used to the weather with my new leg," Peeta says and I laugh knowing what happens. "I had pulled Kat down with me. She had started to laugh, the first time I had ever seen her laugh until she was crying." Peeta squeezes me, a sign for me to carry on.

"I had tried to help him up," I say. "But we only slipped again. Prim had to come help us but even she slipped over."

"Sounds like a happy family going on," says Caesar.

"It was. You can't help but love Prim. Over these few months of having known her, I've come to see her as a little sister I've never had." Peeta says making the audience cry. A tear escapes my eye that I try to wipe away but everyone has seen.

"What did your sister say to you when you got home?" Caesar asks me. The audience have turned silent at the mention of my sister.

"She told me that she had forgiven me. That she was never mad," I say.

"Was she happy for the two of you?" he asks.

"It took her a while to stop grinning and giggling every time we kissed," Peeta says.

"Yes, but she loves it when Peeta's round," I say.

"I bet she does," says Caesar. "Now, what do the two of you have planned for the future?" This is it. The question we have both been waiting for. I find Haymitch in the crowd and he nods his head in encouragement. I'm doing this for me and Peeta.

"Actually, Caesar, I hope you don't mind if I take the floor from you for a while," Peeta says and Caesar steps aside. I watch as Peeta gets down on one knee, a ring pulled out of his pocket. The audience screams and then cries for us. I cover my mouth with my hand, not having to bother to hide the tears that fall.

"I love you. I want to be the one to tell you that every day, to wake up with you in my arms every morning and to never have to live without you. There's no one else, there never has been. It's always been you. Would you do me the honour in marrying me?" Peeta asks.

"Yes!" I say watching as he places the ring on the finger of my left hand. He stands up, picking me up and twirling me around. We kiss, my tears mixing with each brush of our lips. Our laughter shared between each other. I cup his cheeks, kissing him. He wipes the tears from my eyes. Then puts me back on the ground, kissing me again. "I love you," I say forgetting about the audience.

"I don't know about you, but I think my heart has just melted," says Caesar bringing me back to the reality of where we are. I turn to the audience, finding them a sobering mess as they watch us. On the screens I see me in Peeta's arms, his arms wrapped around me. The smile on my face is the brightest one I've ever seen. Everyone is crying for us.

"You have lipstick on your lips again," I say bringing another round of a mixture of laughter and crying from the audience. Peeta doesn't seem to care as he is kissing me again.

The trumpets begin to play, President Snow making a surprised visit on stage. I quickly help Peeta wipe the lipstick from his lips, then we stand with his arm wrapped around my waist. Snow comes on, congratulating Peeta with a slap on the back and then he embraces me. His snake eyes narrowing, his head shakes slightly for me to see. We have failed.

Then he turns to the audience and cameras, "I want to congratulate our victors on the announcement of their engagement. And I want to give them a gift from me and the Capitol. To celebrate their marriage here in the Capitol!" The crowd cheer in agreement as my stomach drops. I didn't want that. If we're getting married then I wanted it to be at home with my family. I keep a smile on my face. Peeta squeezes my waist as he knows what I'm thinking. "Their love will go on. Here is to their happy ending!"

**(a/n): YAY EVERLARK WEDDING! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and the slight drama, I felt bad for Peeta, but thank god for Haymitch helping Katniss see. Do you like my use of real or not real so far? It's going to be really important… Next chapter will again be next Saturday, where I will give you the news on the laptop situation. Please do review.**

**Teaser: How do you think Katniss' and Peeta's family is going to react to the engagement news when they get home? Or even Gale… **


	25. Last days of the tour

**(a/n): I am so sorry this chapter is late. My laptop is completely broken, but at the weekend I found my old laptop under the bed. I had to rewrite the chapter, so here it is. People keeping askng me about Mockingjay and what happens to Peeta happens, but Mockingjay is going to be different, you'll see why soon.**

**Chapter 25: Last days of the tour******

The party is then held in President Snow's banquet room. A twelve metre ceiling has been transformed into the starry night sky looking like the sky back home. Halfway between the lights and ceilings, musicians float on what looks like fluffy white clouds. Dining tables have been replaced with sofas and chairs, some near fireplaces and others near flower gardens or ponds full with exotic fish. A large tiled surface that creates the dance area or somewhere where people want to perform.

Then the food. Long rows of tables going down the wall full with everything you can think of. Whole roasted cows and pigs turning on spits, fruits and nuts, ocean creatures drizzled in sauces and then cheeses, breads, vegetables and sweets. My stomach rumbles at the sight.

"I want to eat everything in the room," I tell Peeta.

He's trying to read my expression, we haven't had time to talk about how we have failed, hadn't even had time to think. But, right now, I'm going to focus on the end of this trip until we get home. He flashes me a smile. "Then you'd better pace yourself," he says.

"OK, no more than one bite of each dish," I say. The first dish breaks me before I even have a chance. A creamy pumpkin brew sprinkled with slivered nuts and tiny black seeds. "I could just eat this all night!" I don't. I soon move on to a clear green broth that tastes like spring and then a frothy pink soup dotted with raspberries.

Peeta keeps giving me new foods to try, leaving me in a heavenly bliss. Then faces appear, names are exchanged, pictures are taken and people wanting to know more about our relationship. My mockingjay pin has become a fashion accessory. I think about the symbol I had seen on the train and know that President Snow won't be happy with that. But everyone wants to wear the winners token.

A few seconds of privacy is what me and Peeta get. We sneak outside to walk and kiss, to only have Effie come chasing for us. People want to meet us. I act delighted, but I have zero interest in the Capitol people. They're only distractions from Peeta and the food.

Each table presents new temptations, and I soon fill up even on my one-taste-per-dish. All different kinds of flavours explode in my mouth with each bites. Rich, spicy, a tangy orange or even a minty spring kind of taste. I swap food with Peeta, trying what he picks up and he tries what I tried. The idea of throwing away food, like the people from the Capitol are doing so casually, is wrong. But not even after half of the tables we're soon stuffed.

Just then my prep team descends on us. They're nearly drunk on the alcohol and the ecstasy of being at such a grand party.

"Why aren't you eating?" asks Octavia.

"I have been, but I can't hold another bite," I say as they laugh like it's the silliest thing ever.

"No one lets that stop them!" says Flavius. They lead us to a table that holds tiny stemmed wine glasses full with a liquid I've never seen before. "Drink this!"

Peeta picks one up to take a sip and they shriek stopping him.

"Not here!" shrieks Octavia.

"You have to do it in there," says Venia, pointing towards the toilets. "Or you'll get it all over the floor!"

Peeta looks at the glass again putting it together. "You mean this will make me puke?"

They laugh hysterically. "Of course, so you can keep eating," says Octavia. "I've been in there twice already. Everyone does it, or else how would you have any fun at a feast?"

I'm speechless, staring at the pretty little glasses. Peeta carefully sets the glass back on the table. "Come on, Kat, let's dance."

He leads me away from the team, the table onto the dance floor. The music filtering down the clouds from around us. Effie had thankfully taught us some dances that are popular in the Capitol. Now, Peeta pulls me into his arms and we move slowly to the music. We're quiet for a while.

"You go along, thinking you can deal with it, thinking maybe they're not so bad, and then you –" he cuts himself of.

I can't help but think about home. All those children that were starving because there was never enough for them. My mother would send the children of the family's home, telling them they needed more food. Now she sends them home with some since we're now rich. But here in the Capitol they vomit for their own pleasure.

"Peeta, they bring us here to fight to the death for their entertainment," I say. "Really, this is nothing by comparison."

"I know. I know that. It's just sometimes I can't stand it any more. To the point where… I'm not sure what I'll do," he pauses and then whispers, "Maybe we were wrong, Kat."

"About what?" I ask.

"About trying to subdue things in the districts," he says.

My eyes widen in shock. I quickly look around me, thankful that no one overheard and the cameras are side-tracked at a table of shellfish. The couples around us are too drunk or self-involved to hear us.

"Sorry," he says. He should be, this is no place to be voicing his thoughts. If someone had overheard…

"Save it for home," I tell him.

Portia then appears with a large man that looks vaguely familiar. She introduces him as Plutarch Heavensbee, the new Head Gamemaker.

"May I steal your fiancée for a dance?" Plutarch asks.

Peeta's recovered to his good friendly smile as he passes me over. "Just don't get too attached."

I don't like being touched other than by Peeta or my family. He seems to notice my tension as he keeps a good arm's length from me, giving me some space. I still don't want to dance with him.

We talk about the party, the food, the entertainment and then he makes a joke about avoiding punch since training. I don't get it until I realise that he was the man who tripped back into the punch bowl when I shot my arrow at the apple.

"Oh, you're the one who –" I laugh, remembering him splashing back in the bowl.

"Yes. And you'll be pleased to know I've never recovered," says Plutarch.

Twenty-two other tributes won't recover from the Games, either. But instead I say, "Good. So, you're the Head Gamemaker this year? That must be a big honour."

"Between you and me, there wearn't many takers for the job," he says. "So much responsibility as to how the Games turn out."

Seneca Crane is dead, he must know, but he doesn't seem that concerned. "Are you planning the Quarter Quell Games already?" I say.

"Oh, yes. Well, they've been in the works for years, of course. But the, shall we say, flavour of the Games is being determined now. Believe it or not, I've got a strategy meeting tonight," he says.

Plutarch steps back pulling a golden watch on a chain from his pocket. "I'll have to be going soon." He turns the watch so I can see the face. "It starts at midnight."

"That seems late for –" I begin. Then I am distracted as Plutarch runs his thumb across the crystal service of the watch, where my mockingjay symbol flashes. It disappears and he closes the watch.

"That's very pretty," I say.

"Oh, it's more than pretty. It's one of a kind," he says. "If anyone asks about me, say I've gone home to bed. The meetings are supposed to be kept secret. But I thought it'd be safe to tell you."

"Yes. Your secrets safe with me," I say.

We shake hands and then he bows, a common gesture in the Capitol. "Well, I'll see you next summer at the Games, Katniss. Best wishes on your engagement, and good luck with your mother."

"I'll need it," I say not looking forward to that conversation.

Plutarch leaves, then I'm looking through the crowds for Peeta again, smiling and thanking everyone as they congratulate me. Something about Plutarch's watch was strange. Why would he bother putting my token on the clocks face where no one can see it? He probably paid a fortune on it so no one else will make a cheap knock-off version.

I find Peeta admiring a table of decorated cakes. Bakers have come from the kitchen to specially talk to Peeta, all of them leaning forwards almost tripping over each other answering his questions. They bring out a small box full of cakes for him to take back to District 12, where he could examine their work. Perhaps even start looking for a wedding cake. Couldn't Peeta just bake a cake?

"Effie said we have to be on the train at one. I wonder what time it is," he says, glancing around.

"Almost midnight," I reply, plucking a chocolate flower from one of the cakes with my fingers.

"Time to say thank you and farewell," trills Effie. We collect Portia and Cinna before escorting us round to say goodbye to important people.

"Shouldn't we thank President Snow?" asks Peeta. "It's his house."

"Oh, he's not the one for parties. Too busy," says Effie. "I've already arranged for the necessary notes and gifts to be sent to him tomorrow. There you are!" Effie gives a wave to the Capitol attendants who have Haymitch popped up between them.

We travel through the streets of the Captiol in a darkened window car. People are still out celebrating, but we're on the train by one. Haymitch is left in his room and Cinna makes tea for us all. "There's the dinner and the Harvest Festival in District twelve to think about. So I suggest we drink our tea and head straight to bed."

It's only when Peeta closes the bedroom door do I let out a long shaky breath. We have failed in calming things down. But we still have the wedding, right? He wouldn't go ahead and announce the Capitol throwing us a wedding if he was going to kill Peeta or our families. The only thing I can think of is us all escaping into the woods. That seems safer than having the threat from President Snow. I escape to the bathroom, changing into my pyjamas and washing the make up from my face. I join Peeta in bed.

"Kat?" Peeta questions.

"Yeah?" I say.

"I'm sorry it's not the way you wanted," he says.

"It isn't," I say. "But I'm still marrying you."

"I just want you to be happy," he says.

I look up to him. "Peeta, there's nothing we can do about who plans and controls our wedding. But I'm still happy that I'm marrying you."

He lets out a long sigh and then brushes a quick kiss on my lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Now go to sleep," I say snuggling in closer to him.

When we start pulling into the train station at District 12, I'm relieved to see my home again. To leave the Capitol behind me for another few months until our wedding or the Quarter Quell. Then I'm thinking about seeing my family again, going hunting with Gale and tea with the baker. Can I really ask them all to escape into the woods with me? Would we survive out there?

We're piled into a car, not even allowed to see our families. Dinner at Mayor Undersee's house. I will have a friend at dinner tonight, Madge, as well as our famalies and I'm relieved that none of them will ask questions about our realtionship or what lipstick colour I'm wearing.

I'm only allowed to give Madge a quick hug before I'm sent up stairs to get ready. After the prep team have my hair and make-up done, I'm put into a silver full-length gown. I've got an hour to kill and Peeta is only just getting dressed, so I slip off to find Madge.

Madge's bedroom is on the second floor along with seven other guest rooms and her father's study. I pop my head into the study to say hello, but it's empty. Peeta and I are on the screens, smiling, eating and kissing. This is playing across Panem. If I saw this every day I would have gotten fed up, just seeing only our love.

I'm leaving the room with a small smile when a buzzing noise catches my attention. Peeta and I have disappeared from the screen, only leaving blackness. Then "UPDATE ON DISTRICT 8" flashes on the screen. I should leave, this is intended for the mayor and not for my eyes. But I find myself stepping closer to the screen.

An announcer I've never seen before appears with gray hair and a strong authoritative voice, warning that conditions are worsening and a Level 3 has been called. Textile production has ceased and additional forces are being sent.

They cut away from the women to the main square of District 8 where I was standing just last week. Banners of Peeta and I are still hanging in the streets, bellow is where the mob is. People are screaming, their faces hidden with rags or masks. They're throwing bricks, buildings are burning and Peacekeepers are shooting them down, but they're fighting back. What catches my attention the most is that my mockingjay symbol is being held up on banners as the crowd march forward. Pinned to a few of their shirts and tops is a red rose, opposite to what Snow wears, exactly what Peeta gave me and wore when we officially became engaged.

This is what President Snow calls an uprising. We haven't diffused the spark with our love, we've only given it fuel to catch fire.

I hurry away to the door, wanting to escape the room for good. Then I end up running into the mayor. Taking a deep breath, I force a smile and give him a wave.

"Looking for Madge?" He asks.

"Yes, I want to show her my dress," I say.

"Well, you know where to find her." Another beeping comes from his study like a warning bell to how long we all have to live. "Excuse me." he says moving past me and into the study, closing the door behind him.

For a minute, I stand composing myself. Taking deep breaths and forcing myself to act naturally. If I just get through tonight and tomorrow then we can all escape into the woods. I find Madge in her bedroom by her dressing table, brushing her long wavy hair. She's sees my reflection and turns around smiling. "Look at you. Like you came right off the streets of the Capitol."

My fingers touch the mockingjay. "Even my pin now. Mockingjays are all the range of the Capitol, thanks to you." And let's not forget the uprisings, but I'm not blaming Madge.

"Of course, everyone wants to wear the winners token," she says smiling and then ties her hair back with a festive golden ribbon.

"Where did you get it, anyway?" I ask.

"It was my aunts," she says. "But I think it's been in the family a long time."

"It's a funny choice, a mockingjay," I say. "I mean, because of what happened in the rebellion. With the jabberjays backfiring on the Capitol and all."

"But mockingjays were never a weapon," says Madge. "They're just song birds. Right?"

"Yeah, I guess so," I say trying not to think about all those banners with my mockingjay symbol on.

Effie comes collecting the two of us, the mayor following soon behind as we make our way downstairs where the dinner is being held. Peeta is waiting for me at the bottom with Haymitch, Cinna and Portia. I give him a reassuring smile as I take his hand. Right now we can get through this one last dinner and the Harvest festival tomorrow before we can decide what to do.

We're filmed making our grand entrance, everyone stands up and turns our way. Both of our families have been invited and they all watch us with smiles. I concentrate on my mother, watching as she gives me a reassuring smile that I take as a good sign. She could be putting on a happy display in front of the cameras, though. Then I look to Peeta's mother whose smile is tight and her piercing eyes glare at me.

During dinner, Peeta whispers to me and exchange kisses, Prim and I share a few looks, Riley winks at me and everyone wants to talk to us. This dinner is even harder than any others we've had, surrounded by our families who clearly feel out of place like us. Only once dinner is finished can I see my family.

"Congratulations," my mother says hugging me.

"You're not mad?" I ask looking up to see the cameras are on us.

My mother notices as well. "Mad? You're only sixteen of course I'm mad! But I won't stand in the way of your happiness or love."

"Thank you," I say.

"Will we be invited to your wedding?" Prim asks.

"Of course! I wouldn't have a wedding without you, little duck," I say taking her hand.

"Not only are you invited, Katniss needs her bridesmaid," says Cinna behind me.

"Bridesmaid?" Prim questions.

"Portia and I will need to take your measurements before we leave tomorrow," Cinna tells Prim with a wink.

"Your going to make me a dress?" Prim asks in disbelief.

"Let's go find Portia now," Cinna says taking an excited Prim of to talk about dresses with him and Portia.

"What's Prim happy about?" Peeta asks taking my hand again.

"They're talking about bridesmaid dresses," I tell him.

He laughs. "Have they already started designing?"

"Probably knowing Cinna," I say.

"If Prim gets to be a bridesmaid then what am I?" Riley asks.

"Do you want to wear a dress?" I ask grinning.

Riley laughs. "No, but I won't mind an invite to your wedding."

"Let them enjoy their engagement while they can," the baker chuckles and then hugs me. "Congratulations, my boy couldn't have chosen any better."

"Thank you," I say blushing.

"Welcome to the family," Peeta's mother says followed by a tight smile.

I clench my teeth, forcing a smile. "Thank you."

Then after dinner is dancing, where Peeta twirls me around the dance floor like he has done over the past couple of weeks. I spot Prim dancing with Riley and Alex before she's dancing in my arms. I can tell she's been practising.

"When did you get so good at dancing?" I ask her.

"Rory helped me practice," she says.

"Did he?" I tease grinning as she blushes.

When the night comes to an end, a car takes us home back to our homes. Haymitch is passed out, drunk. Effie, Cinna and Portia have been taking back to the train to rest for the night. I bite my lip when the car pulls up outside our houses, do I go with Peeta back to his or my family?

"We'll see you in the morning," Prim answers for me giving me and Peeta a hug.

A pair of pyjamas for me lay on Peeta's bed and I wonder where they came from. I change into them before getting into bed with Peeta. We lay in silence as I debate whether to tell him about the riots tonight or not. With the Harvest Festivals tomorrow then wouldn't it be best to wait? But before I can make my decision, Peeta has fallen asleep. I kiss his cheek lightly before closing my eyes.

The Harvest Festival has been my favourite part of the tour. Seeing all the children running and smiling with their stomachs full. Parents smiling and thanking us. No one has gone starving today. Cameras film Peeta and I around, capturing as we talk and laugh with people. Greasy Sae comes and teases Peeta making him blush. I don't see Gale anywhere. Then the cameramen want to get a shot of us with children, my stomach drops at the suggestion but I do as they ask. Please them now and then we can escape. I can't help but notice how good Peeta is with children, making them laugh and love him. It doesn't surprise me, really.

After we see Effie, Cinna and Portia of at the train-station. Then I suggest to Peeta about going for a walk, wanting and needing to tell him about the riots. Peeta raises his eyebrows as I lead him out of the square, towards the deserted area around the mines where no one will overhear us.

I turn around facing him. "We need to leave," I say quietly.

He thinks for a moment before answering. "Go where?"

"We take of into the woods," I say.

"Me and you?" he questions.

"And our families." I add. I don't mention that Gale's family will likely be joining us, that's if I can persuade Gale. But If I leave then I can't go without him or his family.

"But we don't know what's going on yet. The wedding could still turn things around," Peeta says.

"The wedding won't help, it will only encourage them," I say.

"Not necessarily-" Peeta begins.

"Peeta, I've seen what our love is doing. They're using it to start riots," I say.

"Where did you see this?" he asks.

I tell him about the mayors study and everything I saw about District 8. He presses his lips together as I tell him, keeping a firm grip on my hands. Then when I'm done we stand in silence.

"So we take of into the woods?" he says.

"I know its going to be hard, but we can do it. We'll have my fathers bow. Gale and I can hunt. We can survive," I tell him squeezing his hands.

"Gale?" Peeta questions.

"Yeah, I can't leave him and his family behind. I owe them to much," I explain.

"Kat, tell me how you and Gale are supposed to feed three families while on the run?" Peeta asks.

I grit my teeth. "It's not that hard to learn how to hunt," I say.

"So, you're going to hunt and train us while on the run?" Peeta says shaking his head. "Kat, we won't last five minutes out there."

"We will!" I protest. "We'll survive more out there then here!"

"And we'll just leave others to deal with our mistakes? We can't just abandon people like that when they're looking at us," he says.

"I don't want them looking at us!" I snap.

"Neither do I. But what do you think is going to happen when we leave? Who is going to protect them if we don't?" Peeta asks.

"We're not doing a great job at protecting them," I say.

"No, but the wedding could change things. We can't leave, Kat, not yet," Peeta says wrapping his arms around my waist.

"If we stay then he could kill you and our families," I tell him.

"He won't now that we're engaged. Let's just see how the wedding turns out first before we decide on running away," he tells me. "OK?"

"Fine," I sigh.

Peeta kisses the top of my head. "Everything will be fine. I promise."

**(a/n): I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please do review and tell me what you think. Next chapter will be on Saturday now that I have my old laptop. **

**Teaser: IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR THE CHAPTER I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOREVER TO WRITE. You're all going to love it. **


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